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Millennials Are Too Lazy To Eat Breakfast Cereal

FORTY PERCENT OF THEM CANNOT BE BOTHERED WITH “INCONVENIENCE” We already knew millennials in the United States were dumb.  And horny.  Apparently they’re lazy as hell, too. America’s “generation that couldn’t” is back in the news this week after a study suggested they weren’t eating their Wheaties … or any other cereal…

FORTY PERCENT OF THEM CANNOT BE BOTHERED WITH “INCONVENIENCE”

We already knew millennials in the United States were dumb.  And horny.  Apparently they’re lazy as hell, too.

America’s “generation that couldn’t” is back in the news this week after a study suggested they weren’t eating their Wheaties … or any other cereal for that matter.

What gives?  Is this a price of milk issue?

No …

Apparently millennials cannot be bothered with pouring the milk … or cleaning the bowl after they’ve finished eating.

“Almost 40 percent of the millennials surveyed by Mintel for its 2015 report said cereal was an inconvenient breakfast choice because they had to clean up after eating it,” Kim Severson reported for The New York Times this week.

What?

So previous generations won our independence, tamed the frontier, beat the Nazis, put a man on the moon and won the Cold War … yet these people can’t lift a friggin’ spoon because it’s “inconvenient?”  

Seriously where is Buzz Aldrin?  He should punch every single one of these millennials in the face …

Don’t worry, though, surely the next generation will be better … right?

Right?

Oy …

***

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35 comments

erneba February 26, 2016 at 11:58 am

And everyone wonders why these little pussies go to college and start crying in public because they are not protected in “safe zones.”

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Whatever February 26, 2016 at 12:13 pm

It’s almost like they are GOP presidential candidates, right?

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erneba February 26, 2016 at 12:21 pm

Yuk..Yuk that was almost pitiful.

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Whatever February 26, 2016 at 12:43 pm

But true…sadly.

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idcydm February 26, 2016 at 1:16 pm

And then we have the vast ring wing conspiracy.

Slartibartfast February 28, 2016 at 5:55 pm

Every time “WHATEVER” writes something, I keep hearing a secondary backmask, which when played backwards, sounds like, “The Sow Belongs To MEEE!!!” (cue Michael Oldfield)

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erneba February 28, 2016 at 8:48 pm

That’s a good one.
‘Whatever” is true to his name.
You know, “Whatever.”
Lately, He has been coming in after me and other people trying to response in a way that could be considered a cute little quip. Sounds like fifth grade recess playground banter.

Slartibartfast February 29, 2016 at 8:32 pm

That is no way to talk about a fifth-grader! (rim shot!)

Whatever February 26, 2016 at 12:12 pm

Will, your generation has yet to accomplish anything of note. Unless making up rumors of an affair with a married woman, getting fired from your jobs with the GOP and getting run out of your political party count?

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Flip February 26, 2016 at 12:37 pm

Or worse, hanging around Thomas Ravenel… Yeeeeeuuuuck!

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Whatever February 26, 2016 at 12:43 pm

And getting fired by him and then calling to cops when he sends Will mean text messages. Will’s a real, white man’s man.

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Flip February 26, 2016 at 12:46 pm Reply
Whatever February 26, 2016 at 12:54 pm

Makes you wonder how a boy with a blog with ZERO advertisers for months now can afford to raise five young children without some form of outside assistance. EBT? Trump dollars under the table? Welfare?

Flip February 26, 2016 at 2:54 pm

Trump is just recently, someone’s got to be funding him long-term. Probably people affiliated with think tanks.

Whatever February 26, 2016 at 6:55 pm

Probably Democrat supporting think tanks. Will is doing all he can to handicap the potential GOP nominee and hand the election to another Democrat.

TontoBubbaGoldstein February 26, 2016 at 5:26 pm

Makes you wonder how a boy with a blog with ZERO advertisers for months now can afford to raise five young children without some form of outside assistance.

The lack of advertisers is made for by volume.

*Poundz fist!*

VOLUME!!!!

It’s economics!

erneba February 26, 2016 at 12:15 pm
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Terry February 26, 2016 at 12:17 pm

Maybe, but if you are GOP voter you want live long enough to see it. You’ve got about ten years tops.

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Flip February 26, 2016 at 12:45 pm

There are tons of businesses that make money off of people not wanting to spend the time or effort doing it themselves. People not wanting to make their own breakfast is why fast food breakfast exists in the first place.

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Cereal is crap February 26, 2016 at 2:36 pm

It’s hard to do much of anything productive after the insulin shock. Good riddance to that whole industry.

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TroubleBaby February 26, 2016 at 2:37 pm

Eggs & Bacon baby!

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Sic Semper Tyrannis February 26, 2016 at 5:30 pm

With grits, salt, pepper, butter.

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shifty henry February 27, 2016 at 9:56 pm

pepper: I also will sprinkle Zatarain”s Blackened Seasoning or Clover Valley Soul Food Seasoning ( but not together, thank you!)

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Mike at the Beach February 26, 2016 at 11:41 pm

Scorned for years, yet now back in vogue (medically speaking). Funny how science finally came ’round for us on this one…eat up!

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Yelsewh February 26, 2016 at 3:25 pm

I don’t eat breakfast cereal because I can’t eat it in the car on my way to work so in that sense yes, it’s inconvenient.

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Squishy123 February 26, 2016 at 7:40 pm

God forbid you wake up 10 minutes early.

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Yelsewh February 26, 2016 at 9:23 pm

I have 4 children under 5 years old so yeah, every minute is precious. As a matter of fact I generally make a hot breakfast for the wife and kids before I leave for work. Unless it’s a breakfast sandwich I don’t partake myself.

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9" February 26, 2016 at 6:27 pm Reply
Squishy123 February 26, 2016 at 7:40 pm

Didn’t watch the video, just figure that statement is a dream of yours.

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Squishy123 February 26, 2016 at 7:38 pm

Millennials are just lazy period. I seriously doubt that they’d clean up the bowl, that’s mom’s job.

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Charles Molineaux February 27, 2016 at 4:45 pm

Wait a minute.
Didn’t the cereal makers address this issue decades ago??
Come on you old fogies like me, don’t you remember those tiny little single-serving “snack pack” assortments of mini boxes of breakfast cereal??
They came with two options for serving: Either you tore off the top of the box and poured the cereal into a bowl just like you do with a full sized box

….OR you could split open the front of the box (it was even perforated to open like a pair of double doors) split open the plastic (or waxed paper) liner, pour the milk directly in and turn the whole little box into an instant, disposable, cereal bowl.

I haven’t actually seen one of these in years. Maybe they’re not made any more.
But, hey, if using and cleaning a cereal bowl is such a strenuous inhuman arduous chore, here’s a chance for General Mills and Kellogg’s to bring back those millennials.

And, of course, there’s always the option of eating it by the handful out of the big boxes. Hey people are busy!

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9" February 27, 2016 at 5:00 pm

Of course I remember.I’m glad another cereal survivor is still alive.How do you feel about,Crispy Critters ?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h27rFCiL96Y

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erneba February 28, 2016 at 9:01 pm

I remember that!
There were five kids in our family, raised in the fifties and sixties. Our mother, one morning a week would break out the Kellogg’s Variety pack for breakfast, throw some bananas and milk on the table and tell us to have at it. A variety of their cereal all packaged together, I remember fighting with with my siblings,usually for the ones that were laced with the most sugar.
Usually my mother cooked a full breakfast for seven people before she headed off to work. And you are right , no dishes to do, our dogs loved licking out the boxes..

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Todd February 28, 2016 at 7:36 am

Don’t be dull. They don’t eat breakfast cereal because we now know carbs and sugar are killing us. And wheat gluten is killing us even faster. Millenials are lazy, but that is irrelevant to their dietary choices.

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