RGA Launches Another Attack Ad Against Vincent Sheheen

BACK TO THE WELL …  The Republican Governors Association isn’t backing down from its controversial ad targeting S.C. Senator Vincent Sheheen (D-Camden) in his 2014 gubernatorial bid against incumbent “Republican” Nikki Haley. In fact the national organization – which is betting big on Haley’s reelection – has launched another spot…


The Republican Governors Association isn’t backing down from its controversial ad targeting S.C. Senator Vincent Sheheen (D-Camden) in his 2014 gubernatorial bid against incumbent “Republican” Nikki Haley.

In fact the national organization – which is betting big on Haley’s reelection – has launched another spot along the very same lines … refining and reinforcing its previous attack on Sheheen as an unscrupulous trial lawyer who gets dramatically reduced sentences for dangerous sex offenders.

“Have you heard the news about Vincent Sheheen?” the spot’s female narrator asks.

We have … we broke the news, actually.

“Sheheen represented a sex offender who abused a minor and court papers show he negotiated the man’s sentence from ten years to thirty-eight days,” a news anchor states.

The ad’s narrator goes on to say “Sheheen personally represented dangerous criminals – reducing their jail time, putting them back on the street.”

“Vincent Sheheen: He represents criminals, not us,” the narrator concludes – echoing the refrain from the group’s previous spot.

Take a look …

(Click to play)

Yeah …

The national response to the first round of pro-Haley RGA attack ads has been one of revulsion – particularly from the left.

Liberal website ThinkProgress referred to the first anti-Sheheen spot as “the most atrocious political ad of 2014.”

“If you want to run for office some day, you better not believe that everyone is entitled to legal counsel before the government locks them away,” reporter Ian Millhiser noted.

Meanwhile Washington, D.C. politico Taegan Goddard wondered aloud whether the first pro-Haley spot was the “most negative political ad ever,” noting the commercial “sets a new standard for nasty.”

Cue up the outrage again, people …

As intellectually dishonest as these ads may be, it’s clear they are moving numbers in Haley’s favor – otherwise the group wouldn’t be going to the well again with the same concept.

“They’re doubling down,” one Palmetto politico told FITS.

As we’ve said time and time again, no one ever lost an election appealing to the intellectual incuriosity of the average South Carolinian – who is unlikely to move beyond the simplistic “Sheheen is bad” message these ads convey.

Sheheen’s response to the pro-Haley broadside? That the governor has her own, much larger issues when it come to watching out for the well-being of children in the Palmetto State – most notably the ongoing debacle that is her Department of Social Services (SCDSS).

Missed that scandal? We’ve got the latest (HERE and HERE). Oh, and there’s ironically an RGA connection to that scandal, too.

After nearly rebounding from a 21-point deficit against Haley in 2010, Sheheen has been running an abysmal race this go-round. Most notably, he’s failed to find a way to get to the right of the increasingly liberal Haley on the bread and butter fiscal issues voters care about.

After receiving the GOP nomination in 2010, Haley abandoned her Tea Party roots and began a fast-paced sprint to the state’s political “center.” Since taking office in 2011, she’s advanced a fiscally liberal agenda on taxesspendingeducation and (most notably) government-subsidized health care.

UPDATE: Lawyers in South Carolina are reportedly preparing a response to the attacks against Sheheen … 

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Jackie Chiles April 28, 2014 at 9:56 am

So Haley’s lawyers should probably screw her over the way she wants Sheheen to screw over his clients so they can run for office later.

Rocky April 28, 2014 at 10:05 am

Still they have good reason to fear the Dem challanger. You have an upstate super-hero who will siphone off a huge number of votes from Haley. Unless she’s leading by 35%, she’s still in serious trouble.

Elfego April 28, 2014 at 10:49 am

This guy is either a Democrat or been bought by them. Looking for a special appointment to something if Sheheen wins you can count on it. Lawyers are for sale to the highest bidder, remember.

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 11:06 am

Tom Ervins appointment to any position if Sheheen wins would help, count on that.

Long Time Friend April 28, 2014 at 11:43 am

I know Ervin personally!
He has seen what a teravesty Haley is and has been!
He wants to right the wrongs and move the State forward!
Ervin is an honorable, honest forthright person of character. All sadly vacant in Haley’s makeup!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pickens April 28, 2014 at 1:05 pm

I’m against Haley but believe Ervin will split the vote up ensuring her victory. Why didn’t he have the character to take her on directly, in the primary. For me, this is a reason to vote for Sheheen.

Elfego April 28, 2014 at 4:56 pm

If he were honest and up right as you say and claims to be a Republican he would run as a Republican in the Primary!!! I am not against him as a person just his conniving way. I would vote for a dog on a statewide or above race before a Democrat.

Retired Lawyer in Lexington April 30, 2014 at 6:35 pm

You will have that opportunity.

Good Ole Boy April 28, 2014 at 10:07 am

Bottom line, the RGA & the SCGOP are desperate and scared now that Tom Ervin is in the race.

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 10:46 am

Both the Republican Associations should rethink Haley, easy for me vote Sheheen, anyone but Haley!

Scooter April 28, 2014 at 10:02 pm

I think Haley has done a good job excel for letting our highways to get in bad shape.

WTF April 28, 2014 at 7:16 pm

I was told today, by some State employees, they were “warned” their names better not show up on one of Ervin’s petitions.
Haley is looking more and more like a communist, or Jake Knotts wanting to say who can and cannot run!
I thought we lived in a free country, a country of laws and anyone who wished to legally run for public was allowed and freedom of speech was the law of the land! Oh, I forget Haley’s family comes from India, guess they see things differently!

Mike at the Beach April 28, 2014 at 8:35 pm

Sorry guys, but this is just wishful thinking. Kinda like the Mace campaign, in a way. Like their policies or not, neither Graham nor Haley is “scared.” They’re “campaigning.”

GrandTango April 29, 2014 at 6:28 am

Ervin will take votes from Sheheen. They are both democrats…I don’t agree that he’ll hurt Haley.

Otherwise: Erving would have stayed in the GOP Primary. Haley and the RGA are just making sure people know who Sheen is, so they’ll vote for Ervin instead of Sheheen. It’s pretty smart strategy.

Slim April 28, 2014 at 10:29 am

What does Butch think about the ad?

a face in the crowd April 28, 2014 at 10:45 am

Well, James Carville will not forgive Ralph Nader for allegedly costing the Dems the White House. Hopefully, Ervin will cost Haley the governorship.

RogueElephant April 28, 2014 at 11:54 am

The only thing Ralph Nader ever did right.

a face in the crowd April 28, 2014 at 12:13 pm

Yes, he helped future war criminals get elected.

Scooter April 28, 2014 at 10:08 pm

Ervin & Sheheen do not have a snowball’s chance in hell.

Elfego April 28, 2014 at 10:47 am

Bottom Line is lawyers use their so called profession to get rich at the expense of victims. Who else do you know other than drug dealers who sell their services too the most vile and corrupt among us!

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 10:49 am

Politicians, Corporations, etc.

Jay Ellington April 28, 2014 at 11:01 am


TontoBubbaGoldstein April 28, 2014 at 3:13 pm

Pigs. Hookers. Lawyers.

Which does not belong in the set?

There are some things that a pig will refuse to do…for any amount of money.

Sandlapper April 28, 2014 at 11:05 am

Hey, you shouldn’t talk about Wilbur Smith and Lexington Medical that way. if Nikki Haley was willing to sell her influence to them for $42,500 and a $110,000 no-show job, that in no way makes them “vile and corrupt.”

Elfego April 28, 2014 at 11:22 am

Power corrupts but the sad part is America is so dumb they follow like sheep!

WTF April 28, 2014 at 11:39 am


Snowball April 28, 2014 at 12:21 pm

I like all the parts in the book ‘Animal Farm’ about the sheep. Like our Great Leader Nikki, they understand. We love you Governor!

Elfego April 28, 2014 at 1:38 pm

What has the Democrats brought to SC over the last 8 years? What has Obama done other than lie and Shehhen supports his lies along with Obamacare.

Jackie Chiles April 28, 2014 at 2:12 pm

So your counterpoint that Haley sucks isn’t that she’s good, it’s that the democrats also suck so we should vote for Haley?

Elfego April 28, 2014 at 4:53 pm

My counter point is she is head and shoulders above all the candidates. This board just hates her because she is a female and produced good results in this state and some like Sheheen would love her being Indian if she were a Democrat but speak of 7-11 because she is Republican.

Ron April 28, 2014 at 8:56 pm

You are a fucking idiot.

Elfego April 28, 2014 at 9:11 pm

I may be your daddy!

ogefle April 28, 2014 at 10:03 pm

the 4+ million people who has their SS#’s and pther personal information hacked might disagree. Remind me how many millions she has cost us so far on that one

Elfego April 29, 2014 at 10:24 am

No doubt this should not have happened but it happened on a much larger scale under Obama. The whole nation is in a mess over Obamacare and Vincent supports it. Point your finger but the whole country is in turmoil because of the Godless Democrat Party. Look at the big picture.

Jackie Chiles April 29, 2014 at 8:15 am

I needed a good laugh this morning.

Elfego April 29, 2014 at 10:25 am

No doubt the nation has been crying ever since Obama took office!

Snowball April 28, 2014 at 11:33 pm

I was just kidding, personally I think the Governor has a problem with ah, d

WTF April 28, 2014 at 11:39 am

Haley is corrupt to the core!

Jackie Chiles April 28, 2014 at 11:43 am

Nikki Haley

Elfego April 28, 2014 at 1:34 pm

What about Obama,Hillary,Bill,Pelosi,Reid. Play your games in a park with other idiots!

Bible Thumper April 28, 2014 at 10:50 am

These ads will help Sheheen’s law practice, which he will return to in November.

Jackie Chiles April 28, 2014 at 11:43 am

That’s true. RGA Ads: “Vincent Sheheen did a good job for his clients, therefore he will do a bad job as governor.”

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 12:50 pm

Maybe, but not near as bad as Haley.

nitrat April 28, 2014 at 11:18 am

I’ve said it before…the Democrats need to get some information out about the kind of clients that fat cat Republican lawyer supporters and appointees of Trikki have represented. You can tar every GOP lawyer in the state with the same brush and they know it.
That’s what makes it a stupid ad…the idea must have come from Nikki herself.

Nölff April 28, 2014 at 11:29 am

Attacks ads are all: this guy/gal is the antichrist. Don’t vote for this person because you’ll burn in Hell.

Inciteful April 28, 2014 at 11:36 am

“Unscrupulous trial lawyer” is a redundancy, while
“Honorable trial lawyer” is an oxymoron. (I ‘b’lieve I’ve just insulted one third of SC’s legislators.)

George Sikes April 28, 2014 at 11:43 am

Those sizzle sticks melt fast. Ervin capsized the raft, leaving left shoe under water…back at the house, muffins were baked like a crack bitch whoring downtown Memphis, I think Tobias lost his race, so ther’s that.

CharlesDikkens April 28, 2014 at 11:40 am

What do you expect from the lying adulteress? The stupid state is so screwed up it deserves this woman. Tom Ervin is a good man, as is Vince Sheheen, though I don’t really agree with their politics. But I will vote for one ot them. Hard to be an R in SC these days with this crap being spewed out.

William Wallace April 28, 2014 at 11:45 am

You are correct! Thank you.

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 11:51 am

I try to be a R also, I also agree with Tom as a “Independent Republican” canadate. Anyone but Haley.

Rocky April 28, 2014 at 11:48 am

Maybe Sheheen should turn it around as a strength. “If I could get a child rapist off with 38 days, just think what I could have done as Governor to beat down the Savannah port and how much I could have gotten for Charleston.”

James April 28, 2014 at 12:26 pm

DSS Looking Into Another Child Death

A state official confirmed that the Department of
Social Services is looking into the death of a child, after The
Greenville News inquired about the investigation.

COLUMBIA – A state official confirmed that the Department of Social Services is looking into the death of a child, after The Greenville News inquired about the investigation.

Marilyn Matheus, a spokeswoman for DSS, gave The News
few details about the child or the investigation and said authorities
have not yet determined the cause of death. She said the investigation
began early last month, but the agency could not find the family until

“We can confirm that we started an investigation on March
3, 2014,” she said Friday evening. “We were not able to locate the
family despite numerous attempts until this afternoon. We are continuing
our investigation. While the coroner has not, as yet, determined the
cause of death, our hearts go out to everyone who knew and loved this

Richland County Coroner Gary Watts said the child was 5
months old but he could not say more until he completes his review of

The death comes as lawmakers and gubernatorial candidates are scrutinizing DSS’ handling of cases of child abuse and neglect.

Petition gubernatorial candidate Tom Ervin told The News
last week that he would fire DSS Director Lillian Koller as his first
act as governor, citing details that have spilled from months of Senate
hearings about the agency.

His call for Koller’s ouster follows
similar calls from Democratic Sen. Vincent Sheheen, who also is running
for governor; from Sen. Joel Lourie, a Democrat who sits on the Senate
panel that is looking at DSS; and Sen. Katrina Shealy, a Lexington
Republican who serves on the panel with Lourie.

Gov. Nikki Haley
has maintained support for Koller, whom she appointed in 2011. Her
spokesman has said that child fatalities have dropped by 25 percent
under Koller, adoptions have increased by 11 percent and family services
have improved.

In Senate hearings, two county coroners said DSS
is failing to adequately protect children, a former deputy director for
the agency testified she believes numeric goal-setting has become more
important than children’s needs, and a former county director and a
coroner said they have heard DSS workers talk of being pressured and
intimidated to reach goals.

Koller has testified that child safety
is her top priority and while the intake system at the agency needs
improving, she would not concede the agency was breaking the law or
placing goals above the safety of children.

Among the cases that
senators have examined was the beating death of a 4-year-old Richland
County boy who had been removed from the home and returned after a
family court judge disagreed with DSS’ request to remove the boy.

told senators the agency mishandled the intake process in the boy’s
case and that eight DSS workers involved in it no longer work at the
agency, some of whom were fired. But she said the workers were not
responsible for the boy’s death.

GrandTango April 28, 2014 at 2:58 pm

You are one low piece of feces, trying to use the dead bodies of children, to put your corrupt, and filthy democrat into a powerful political office…so he can feed his greed.

Since Obama has rendered you unfit for office. you people have become even more moral-less…and NASTY…

Democrat = DISGUSTING….

Tip You Bartenders! April 28, 2014 at 3:40 pm

Q: What do elephants use for ben-wa balls?
A: Dead Babies.

GrandTango April 28, 2014 at 5:06 pm

YOU..I think that’s supposed to be “Your”…you Dumb@$$……LMAO…You must have been Drunk on Grammar Day…

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 5:59 pm

no stupid, it’s a statement, go to Iraq. See the dead babies and children, Check the the oil well production while you’re there.

Ha! April 28, 2014 at 6:06 pm

Drunk isn’t capitalized, Grand Turdo. You are the last person to criticize someone’s typing.

GrandTango April 28, 2014 at 6:17 pm

What are you talking about you delusional F*#king idiot???..drunk is not capitalized…
PS: I see you name-switched, after I slapped the S#!* out of your stupid @$$…LMAO…

St. Francis April 28, 2014 at 6:48 pm

God lovs the sin of lying, Tango.

Ha! April 28, 2014 at 7:23 pm


Whatever, old man…

Deo Vindece SC April 28, 2014 at 7:31 pm

You are sexy! My bartender loves my “tip”.

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 7:59 pm

another fake name, i for e, I bet he loves the POLL also.

GrandTango April 29, 2014 at 6:32 am

Why are you lying about who, and what, you are??…you are such a typical liberal…
And if it’s an imposter, he knows you better than you know yourself…

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 8:11 pm

look at the e

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 4:06 pm

Look on the bright side, he could be Bush, killing 10’s of thousands Iraqi women,children,US military men, for oil and money.

GrandTango April 29, 2014 at 6:31 am

Muslim terrorists killed them idiot…and you and Obama are aligned with the, So I blame you for those deaths…

Sharon April 29, 2014 at 8:29 am

So Children dying under your Governor’s dictatorship is off bounds to discuss, in other words we don’t want to talk about that because it paints her in a bad light? Well tell it to the families who you’re Governor rules over.

GrandTango April 29, 2014 at 8:40 am

I think you need to start by indicting the Liberal Welfare System that places children under gov’t control. Gov’t will ALWAYS fail and Fail badly….You should be JAILED for placing Haley in a position of responsibility for the children of parents so bad they do this to their children…

Are you Pleading GUILTY, first???…

Do that, and then we can discuss the governor’s responsibility, after you account for yours…

Larry Bishop April 29, 2014 at 11:27 am

She is charge of DSS dipshit which makes her the authority over why kids are dying under her leadership. Simply put she is doing it to make her numbers look good to be re-elected. I retired last month from there so I know first hand what is going on you dont because you never worked there so shut the fuck up you piece of shit.

GrandTango April 29, 2014 at 11:33 am

Then YOU ARE Responsible. First, I demand you return EVERY penny of OUR money you took for years and years, because you did such a BAD Job…

Next: You need to turn yourself in, for prosecution. If you were there for decades, you are FAR, FAR more responsible than a governor elected in 2010.

You sound like a government check-gobbling liberal…who thinks you have no accountability. You ARE the problem in government…

Larry Bishop April 29, 2014 at 12:22 pm

The problems did not start until your Governor took office asshole.

GrandTango April 29, 2014 at 12:25 pm

So no child ever died under DSS oversight until Haley was elected???? I say you’re a D@*n Liar…

GrandTango April 28, 2014 at 2:21 pm

“Controversial” ads…LMAO…I love how FITS, and the Ds Crap all over themselves when they get the truth told about who they are…

If Haley can expose Sheheen for who he is…it will take votes from Sheheen…for the two clonws: Ervin and French.

PS: I’d LOVE for Alvin Greene to jump in as an independent, and get even w/ the honkeys in the S party for dissin’ him…because he was not lily white and rich and elite Donald Sterling…

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 2:43 pm

I just crapped my pants, smells like curry, plenty here for you Tango. I’d vote Greene over Haley anyday, it least he’d work for the people of SC.

GrandTango April 28, 2014 at 2:59 pm

Have you seen the mess Obama has made of the country???…We don’t need Starving children and hopeless parents in SC, just to feed yours, and Sheheen’s, greed…

Living Wage Papa John April 28, 2014 at 3:25 pm

Have you seen what Capitalist pigs have done to this country? Dem or Rep. Outsourcing jobs for their greed, tax cuts for themselves, but where’s the jobs these companies creating?

GrandTango April 28, 2014 at 5:03 pm

Haley has been pretty good on jobs…you idiot…

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 6:05 pm

Give me $100.00 each week, I can live on that in a concentration camp, my NAZI friend.

Templeton April 28, 2014 at 6:11 pm

Then, where’s yours?

GrandTango April 28, 2014 at 6:14 pm

I Guaran-D@*n -tee you I produce more income than that Welfare Check and Food Stamps, Obama leads your ignorant @$$ around with…and I still have time to kick your Ignorance to the curb..over and over…

Deo Vendice SC April 28, 2014 at 6:32 pm

That mav be true however I can suck a cock better than you and when I take it up the ass from one of my commie buddies I pretend I was a Marine and squeal like Gomer Pyle!

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 7:07 pm

sub a e huh?

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 8:44 pm

Your claim is just for republican political gain right? Deo Vindice is not spelled as you list it. 3 Other versions of Deo Vindice are present, for what reason? Nikki’s political gain ?

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 8:49 pm

the true american, all the men under you must of died a violent death if you were the leader. I wish I were with you now!

GrandTango April 29, 2014 at 6:34 am

And you’re proud of that???…

Seller's Market April 28, 2014 at 6:54 pm

So, you must be selling cigs to minors at 50 cents a pop?

Deo Vendice SC April 28, 2014 at 6:35 pm

Where is yours and how big is it , big boy?

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 7:21 pm

Will, there he is, a Nikki Zombie in the mix.

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 8:33 pm

No more takers, just fakers, who is templeton ? Your faggot god?

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 8:36 pm

I don’t like curry running down my ass, sorry.

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 4:08 pm

I love ya Tango, thanks for keeping me sane.

Deo Vinece SC April 28, 2014 at 7:26 pm

Just wiped my ass.I am sorry.Said I was a Marine.That was a lie.I did serve my “time” however and my boyfriend made me a better man. My nickname was ‘curry’.although my one boyfriend called me “tounge”.I like you and thanks for keeping me insane.

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 8:20 pm

Nikki, your husband wants me bad, his little lick wasn’t satisfactory. Well, I want you to watch the gagging of cum when I let go, whatever drips from his mouth you can have. Your curry friend likes to seethe fun for you and others.

Saluda Rapids April 28, 2014 at 4:15 pm

Why is your girl so scared in April? And I thought you (like the moron you are) told us that racism is dead in this country? It is alive and well, beginning in your mom’s basement.

Crooner April 28, 2014 at 4:28 pm

Stupid Republicans don’t even know this is an attack on the constitution. The real stupid ones, like T, applaud her and the RGA for it.

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 6:01 pm

Blind ones bro. Keep the sanity for you and me.

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 7:46 pm

You are joking, that a uneducated bafoon as myself, can create a clone name. I am flattered and impressed. Thank you Republican party! Sub a E for a I, and you have it, who would of ever known. Hat’s off to ALL Lawyers in SC, i may not like the profession, but when you need one, you are there. R or D, you work for us, the people of SC, thanks. You seem to lay too low and not as outspoken as you should be. Make or Break yourself, rid the old SC sigma, be humans. Help the people of SC, or cower behind the system.

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 8:24 pm

Into the Nik sespool, damb it stinks.

Diane April 28, 2014 at 8:49 pm

Trial lawyers Haley sure does hate them until she needs to lawyer up with one. Hypacritic witch.

therealjustme April 28, 2014 at 8:50 pm

Love all this slamming of lawyers – note heavy sarcasm. It is lots of fun to trash us – until you need us to get you out of jail or a traffic ticket or a too high child support payment or to evict a tenant or to help with a tax problem. We are the ones holding your hand through family court and probate court and criminal court and magistrate court. Sure we get paid (and we do a hell of a lot of pro bono work), but usually nowhere near what we are worth. I also can’t begin to tell you how much money I have lost on unscrupulous clients who never paid their bills even after getting a good result. There are also the innumerable number of clients whose bills I have “comped” in whole or in part because it was the right things to do and they needed a break. Sure there are a few bad lawyers, just like there are a few bad doctors, accountants, truck drivers, etc. The majority of lawyers, however, take great pride in our profession, contribute substantially to our communities, and hold ourselves to high ethical standards. For all of us who uphold the Constitution and get your ass out of trouble, you should be grateful.

Deo Vindice SC April 28, 2014 at 9:13 pm

Diane, I see as you do, a different person I am. Justice and the constitution of the US is the only reason I want to live. Well, my Hillbilly girl and my old dog, what else could motovate ya.? I have noticed 3 psedo screennames under mine.Oh well, thanks

Tomocchio April 28, 2014 at 10:50 pm

Culture trumps strategy.

Thomas April 29, 2014 at 6:40 am

game-set-match to Gov Haley

It is not a good day for Democrats in South Carolina.

“S.C. Democrat Candidate for Governor Brokered Plea Deals for Violent Criminals”

“Vince Sheheen defended wife beaters, cop hitters, child sex abusers”

BY: Elizabeth Harrington

nitrat April 29, 2014 at 8:55 am

With all the LE and prosecutorial misconduct going on – as noted by SC Supreme Court Justice Beatty a few months ago – we all should have the insight to know that any of us can be arrested and prosecuted for a crime we did not commit at any time…and, need a good defense attorney if it happens.
I live in a county where a big Haley supporter, one who flies her around on his private plane, practices. I, and everyone in the county, know for a fact he has made his fortune as a criminal defense lawyer and has defended serial child molesters, got one bail and the guy actually got arrested for another molestation while he was out.
But, Haley doesn’t mind when it’s someone who does something for her.

This just in. . . April 29, 2014 at 12:01 pm

Donald Sterling Apologizes

LOS ANGELES (The Borowitz Report) — The Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling offered a “total and remorseful” apology for his racist comments today, telling reporters, “Once I saw that Donald Trump was defending me, I knew I had done something horribly wrong.”

Sterling acknowledged that he had turned a blind eye to a mountain of criticism from basketball luminaries and national leaders, but said that seeing Trump defend him on Fox News on Monday had left him “shaken.”

“Look, I know I’m not perfect,” he said. “But when Donald Trump takes your side, you have to take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask yourself, ‘Have I become some kind of monster?’”

This just in. . . April 29, 2014 at 5:29 pm

Sterling Says He Will Miss Being Around People He Hates

LOS ANGELES (The Borowitz Report) — After being banned by the N.B.A. Tuesday afternoon, the Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling told reporters that he would miss being around people he hates.

“Sure, I’m saddened by this,” Sterling said. “Sitting in the stands night after night, a boiling cauldron of hatred bubbling inside me — it doesn’t get better than that. Those were good times.”

“Knowing that I’ll never be able to sit in that arena again and look down on the people I despise — that hurts the most,” he said.

Looking back on his three-decade tenure with the Clippers, though, Sterling said he felt some measure of satisfaction: “No one hated more people than I did, and the feeling was mutual.”

Barbarossa April 29, 2014 at 5:46 pm

Hated the ad at first. Then, when the Leftist ABA started talking about how it was shaming lawyers and may prevent them from running for office, I became instantly hooked and now think it a stroke of genius. Sure, I know that many lawyers are good people (and friends), and, I know that much of what they do is necessary to our society; however, I also know that many of the trial lawyers and lawyer legislators within this and other states are among the most corrupt folks within our society, Thus, if more of them were shamed into not running for public office, I’d have no problem with that.


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