FAILED CANDIDATE PILLORIED ON LATE NIGHT TELEVISION
Comedian and late night host Stephen Colbert addressed “Republican” U.S. Senator Marco Rubio of Florida … whose spectacularly failed presidential bid has set the land speed record for political implosion.
Hailed on the February 18 cover of Time magazine as the savior of the GOP, a month later Rubio is out of the 2016 presidential race – and apparently out of politics altogether.
“I’m not going to be vice president. I’m not running for governor of Florida. I’m going to finish out my term in the Senate over the next 10 months … and then I’ll be a private citizen in January,” Rubio told reporters in Washington, D.C. this week.
Wow. So was Colbert merciful in memorializing the failed candidate?
No. Not even a little bit.
Referring to Rubio as “the boy whose birthday party your parents made you attend,” Colbert mocked his “string of triumphant third-place victories” in a Hunger Games-themed sketch on CBS’ The Late Show.
“For the record, Florida votes yes on Jimmy Buffet, yes on releasing pythons into toilets. On Marco Rubio? No thanks,” Colbert said.
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Do we feel sorry for Rubio? Hell no …
In fact Will Folks, the founding editor of the website you are currently reading, had an exceedingly blunt take on Rubio’s collapse.
“My only regret is that we can’t drop kick his ass all the way back to Cuba,” he said.
So … now that the status quo’s last, best hope at preserving its stranglehold on the GOP is toast, what’s it planning on doing?