Globe

“Unbelievably Small” Military Action, Kerry Vows

U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry is so desperate to sell an American military intervention in the Syrian civil war that he’s actually beginning to make a compelling case against it. Kerry’s latest talking point? That any military action against the regime of Bashar al-Assad would be “unbelievably small.” Wow….

U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry is so desperate to sell an American military intervention in the Syrian civil war that he’s actually beginning to make a compelling case against it.

Kerry’s latest talking point? That any military action against the regime of Bashar al-Assad would be “unbelievably small.”

Wow. Somebody cue Michael Scott …

“We’re not talking about war, we’re not going to war,” Kerry said during a visit to London. He then went on to describe the conceived U.S. military action against Syria as a “limited, very targeted, very short-term effort.”

Our point? “What’s the point,” then? Seriously, talk about getting all of the bad and none of the good.

So to recap Kerry’s “just the tip” interventionist foreign policy, we should launch a preemptive military assault against another sovereign nation absent popular support, the backing of our allies and in spite of clear warnings from our military leaders … needlessly stoking anti-American extremism and making our nation less safe …  for … what, exactly?

An “unbelievably small” action?

Sheesh …

U.S. President Barack Obama’s dog-wagging isn’t going so well, is it?

In addition to being ill-conceived from a national security standpoint, such a statement is politically stupid. After all it’s not the size of the intervention we object to – it’s the fact we are intervening in Syria at all. In fact such a bone-headed assertion has the potential to backfire on the Obama administration, eroding support amongst his warmonger allies in Congress while gaining the president absolutely nothing among the non-interventionists.

Related posts

Featured

Manchester Bombing: The Latest

FITSNews
Featured

Republican Who Empowered Iran’s Nuclear Program Now Feigns Anger

FITSNews
Globe

French President Blinks: “Suspends” Tax Hike

FITSNews

48 comments

? September 9, 2013 at 10:51 am

Liar, liar, pants on fire, Kerry.

Reply
Manray September 9, 2013 at 10:59 am

It’s interesting how these “unbelievably small” military actions can get out of hand. Ninety-nine years ago last month, Austria-Hungary was going to chastise Serbia for misbehavior in Bosnia-Herzegovina. Four years and sixteen million dead later the issue was moot. I’m still waiting to see the flower-strewn welcome in Iraq promised by Donald Rumsfeld.

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein September 9, 2013 at 11:44 am

It’s interesting how these “unbelievably small” military actions can get out of hand. Ninety-nine years ago last month, Austria-Hungary was going to chastise Serbia for misbehavior in Bosnia-Herzegovina.

^
^
^
^
This.

Reply
Gregory Geddings September 9, 2013 at 11:46 am

Excellent analogy…

Reply
Billy September 9, 2013 at 11:00 am

It’s a CIVIL war. Let them work it out themselves. I’m sorry about the refugees and the civilian deaths, but let the “world community” handle those, too. Or the oil-rich arab nations. Anyone but us.

Reply
You are such a kidder! September 9, 2013 at 11:02 am

Like Obamacare is going to cover the uninsured, premiums will stay low, you get to keep your same health insurance benefits and doctor, your health and personal information is secure, government employees and unions will be in the same pool and have the same choices, there are no “death” panels AND no we are not on the road to universal healthcare!

Reply
EJB September 9, 2013 at 12:41 pm

There is another one about oral sex but Mr. Folks is trying to clean up this act.

Reply
Fandango September 9, 2013 at 11:05 am

Obama and his gang are the “Gang who can’t shoot straight”, with the truth, domestic policy, or foreign policy.
Just like our Nikki and her gang. The truth is non existent, transparency is non existent, and incompetence, as well as screw ups are the rule of their governance!
Obama should have NEVER been re-elected!
Let us not make the same mistake here with Haley!

Reply
? September 9, 2013 at 11:08 am

Btw, Kerry(and naturally Obama) already threw the idea of obeying the Constitution and potentially Congress after a vote overboard:

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/sep/09/us-syria-chemical-weapons-attack-john-kerry

Let’s give Obama another peace prize!

“Perpetual war for perpetual peace!”
“Hope and Change! Ok, how about just hope?”

Reply
EJB September 9, 2013 at 12:39 pm

Oh come on now, we’ld be getting change and you know it! From peace (relative) to WAR (definative).

Reply
jimlewisowb September 9, 2013 at 11:19 am

“unbelievably small”

same thing Haley said to willie that first night in the parking lot

Reply
Gregory Geddings September 9, 2013 at 11:48 am

If that picture of Will in the Buzz Lightyear getup isn’t a photoshop, I will say that you are definitely wrong. That ain’t no baby gherkin, thas horseco…..

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein September 9, 2013 at 2:11 pm

Pro Tip ;
Putting a cucumber (or potato) in one’s Speedos will get a great deal of attention from the ladies at the beach. It is extremely important, however, to place the cuke (or spud) in the FRONT

Reply
Gregory Geddings September 9, 2013 at 2:47 pm

Potatoes work good. Avoid large melons, however, as they look more like a tumor.

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein September 9, 2013 at 4:41 pm

Remember the movie JOHNNY DANGEROUSLY?

Gregory Geddings September 9, 2013 at 5:48 pm

Ha! Good stuff!

shifty henry September 10, 2013 at 10:09 am

The humor and wit posted daily on Fitsnews is the only thing helping me to maintain both my sanity and mental balance.. Hmmm, or is it “humorless wit” — or “witless humor” …..

Gregory Geddings September 10, 2013 at 1:45 pm

sex for one…half a doozy of the other.

shifty henry September 9, 2013 at 3:53 pm

I refer you back to the prancercise article and the separate video where the girl shows how to make a cameltoe – and why!

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein September 9, 2013 at 11:48 am

TBG heard , that as they were frantically making out in the darkened vehicle, Our Founding Editor surreptitiously pulled *it* out and then placed her hand on *it*. At which point, Haley reportedly stated, “No thanks, I don’t smoke.”

Reply
shifty henry September 9, 2013 at 2:14 pm

Thanks for remembering my joke, and excellent editing on your part. Part(?) — did I actually use that word?

Reply
shifty henry September 9, 2013 at 3:51 pm

What if I told you the reason for Nikki extending her finger out when speaking? What if I told you that it’s her code meaning, “You must be at least this long to enter” ——

Reply
jimlewisowb September 9, 2013 at 4:11 pm

Sounds reasonable

I reckon when she gives her trademark “thumbs up” it means “guess whose ass this was up last night”

Reply
Boz Martin September 9, 2013 at 12:25 pm

Ketchup Woman adds “It will be eensie iensie. Like what you get when you turn a bottle of Hienze upside down.”

Maybe. But the anticipation is making us crazy.

Reply
shifty henry September 9, 2013 at 2:12 pm

There’s a joke here, but I don’t want to be banned…..

Reply
major major September 9, 2013 at 12:26 pm

“Unbelievably small”?

Maybe we’ll fart in their general direction.

Reply
Elfego September 9, 2013 at 12:46 pm

Unbelievable would be for Congress to vote yeas on attacking Syria. The Republicans will lose big time because they need us Independents to even stand a chance and Independents are not stupid enough to buy into anything Kerry,Hillary or Obama has to say!

Reply
Jan September 9, 2013 at 1:08 pm

What makes me think you are not really an independent?

Reply
Elfego September 9, 2013 at 4:51 pm

Only you know that !

Reply
CharlesDikkens September 9, 2013 at 12:55 pm

Otter : “What this calls for is a futile and stupid gesture on someone’s part.”
Blutto: “And we’re just the ones to do it.”

Reply
Smirks September 9, 2013 at 1:50 pm

Just give Obama and Kerry (and while we’re at it, McCain and Graham) a parachute and a rifle and drop them off next to the Syrian border. Unbelievably small military action? Check.

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein September 9, 2013 at 1:57 pm

If TBG remembers correctly, the following sentiment has already been expressed (by Frank Pytel? )…
…but do we really need to use parachutes?

Reply
shifty henry September 9, 2013 at 2:21 pm

This is a portion of my letter mailed Friday to selected congressmen in DC. (Styling thanks to Philip Branton)—–
===============================

Imagine you facing the President and demanding that he answer the following:
_____________________________________________________________

Mr. President: In 2009 you were given a Nobel Peace Prize with the statement that it was that “for your extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples”.

Mr. President: How do you reconcile that 2009 statement with your current comments calling for a new war which will mire America in another eternal military conflict?

Mr. President: How do you reconcile that 2009 statement with your foolish attitude that murdering President Assad is more important to you than offering the humanitarian aid for the two million Syrian refugees, and for which you are silent?

Mr. President: How do you reconcile that 2009 statement with your actions and comments coming from your moral weaknesses and frailties which have lessened America’s standing in the international community?

Mr. President: Where can you show that there is clear and convincing evidence that the situation in Syria is a direct and urgent threat to the national security of America, and that Syria will not retaliate against American Citizens on American Soil?
===========================

Reply
shifty henry September 9, 2013 at 2:36 pm

When I copied and pasted from my letter, all of the emphasis vanishes, and I don’t know how to put them in – italics, bold, and underline. Anybody who can clue me in? Thanx,,,,

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein September 9, 2013 at 3:58 pm

HTML coding.

Substitute “” for “)”.

(i) whatever you want italicized (/i)

(b)whatever you want bold(/b)

(u)whatever you want underlined(/u)

(strike) whatever you want struck (/strike)

To create a hyperlink….

(a href=”web address”) what you want to call web address (/a)

For example: HTML help

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein September 9, 2013 at 4:14 pm

I can’t show you with the “” because HTML will do it’s thing.. but for example:

If I type ” TBG rocks! “, it becomes ” TBG rocks!

Reply
shifty henry September 9, 2013 at 5:10 pm

Thanks for the info – don’t fully understand it, but will play around with a fake post to see what it does – tonight…..

TontoBubbaGoldstein September 9, 2013 at 6:28 pm

Just copy and paste “(i) whatever you want italicized (/i)” into the comment box and change the “(s” ” to “s”, respectively. Then hit Post as Shifty Henry.

shifty henry September 9, 2013 at 8:28 pm

testing a message

whatever you want italicized three

whatever you want boldly three

whatever you want underlined three

shifty henry September 9, 2013 at 8:42 pm

Thanks, TBG – I think I finally got it for the most part, but still need to play with it. It’s not as simple as just copying something to another word document.

TontoBubbaGoldstein September 9, 2013 at 4:47 pm

You get TBG rocks!

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein September 9, 2013 at 4:48 pm

..then ““

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein September 9, 2013 at 4:03 pm

Also, if you are going to stylize like PB, you must prolifically use the word “OIL”.
A PB comment without “OIL” is like a BigT comment without “Dumb@$$”….

Reply
Fandango September 9, 2013 at 2:27 pm

“Unbelievably small” people with “unbelievably small brains” and “unbelievably” large egos and “Unbelievably” immoral, “unbelievably” immoral, “unbelievably” unethical running things in this country now!
The whole situation is “Unbelievable”!
Are the voters really this “Unbelievably” stupid?

Reply
This just in . . . September 10, 2013 at 12:22 pm

Kerry Shocked to Be Taken Seriously

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) — Secretary of State John Kerry said today that he was “shocked and flabbergasted” that the Russians heeded his suggestion about Syria’s chemical weapons, telling reporters, “After four decades in public life, this is the first time someone has taken me seriously.”

“Whether as a senator, a Presidential candidate, or Secretary of State, I’ve devoted countless hours to thunderous and droning speeches that people have consistently tuned out,” he said. “So naturally, to be listened to all of a sudden came as something of a shock.”

But after the novelty of not being ignored wore off, Mr. Kerry said, the Russians’ assertion that he had said something worth paying attention to “seemed like a trick.”

“You mean to tell me that after decades of spewing mind-numbing rhetoric I all of a sudden blurted out an idea worth acting on?” he said. “It doesn’t pass the smell test.”

At the White House, spokesman Jay Carney welcomed the Russians’ engagement in the Syria crisis, but warned that “further actions based on John Kerry’s remarks will not be tolerated.”

“We ask the Russians to be constructive participants in this process,” he said. “And taking John Kerry seriously is a clear violation of international norms.”

Reply
shifty henry September 10, 2013 at 5:25 pm

Kerry must be talking to Nikki — he likes her magical pointing finger!

Reply
Same ol' Same ol' September 10, 2013 at 9:59 pm

That’s what she said.
(sorry, couldn’t help it)

Reply
Same ol' Same ol' September 10, 2013 at 10:01 pm

Damn, I should read the posts first. Sorry, thought I was being original. I’m unique, just like everyone else.

Reply

Leave a Comment