Sixteen Candles … Err, Candidates

A superfluity of politicians (and wanna-be politicians) formally declared their intention to seek the GOP nomination for South Carolina’s first congressional district. This crowded race – which will nominate a “Republican” to fill the seat vacated by newly appointed U.S. Rep. Tim Scott – will be held on March 19….

sixteen candles

A superfluity of politicians (and wanna-be politicians) formally declared their intention to seek the GOP nomination for South Carolina’s first congressional district. This crowded race – which will nominate a “Republican” to fill the seat vacated by newly appointed U.S. Rep. Tim Scott – will be held on March 19.

Some of the candidates who filed paperwork are household names – like former S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford. Others are total unknowns – like Goose Creek, S.C. engineer Jeff King.

Courtesy of the South Carolina Republican Party, here’s the complete list …

Keith Blanford (Ron Paul supporter – official site/ facebook/ twitter)
Curtis Bostic (Attorney – official site/ facebook)
Ric Bryant
Larry Grooms (State Senator – official site/ twitter)
Jonathan Hoffman (Former U.S. Director of Border Security – official siteLinkedIn Profile)
Jeff King (Engineer – official site/ facebook/ twitter)
John Kuhn (Former State Senator, attorney – official site/ facebook/ twitter)
Tim Larkin (facebook)
Chip Limehouse (S.C. Representative – RINO, Charleston)
Peter McCoy (S.C. Representative – official site/ facebook/ twitter)
Elizabeth Moffly (Charleston school board member – official site/ facebook)
Ray Nash (Former Sheriff – official site)
Andy Patrick (S.C. Representative – RINO, Beaufort)
Shawn Pinkston (Attorney – LinkedIn profile)
Mark Sanford (Former governor, congressman – official site/ facebooktwitter)
Teddy Turner (Economics professor, son of media mogul Ted Turner – official site/ facebook)

Yeah … there are at least five names on this list we barely recognize.

Notable non-filers? Former S.C. Treasurer Thomas Ravenel, who briefly flirted with a bid. Also we’re a bit surprised former S.C. House Majority Leader Jimmy Merrill (RINO-Daniel Island) didn’t throw his hat in the ring. Same with the Palmetto State’s resident intellectually incurious “fortunate son,” Carroll A. Campbell III (although he’s clearly been distracted of late).

Anyway with so many “Republicans” in the race it’s almost certain no one candidate will receive more than fifty percent of the vote. That means a runoff election will likely be held on April 2.

Now, in keeping with our “Sixteen Candles” motif …


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? January 28, 2013 at 1:19 pm

Time for “Fight Club” to see who the winner is:

If you tie a pork chop to each contestant, my vote is Limehouse.

If you tie a Latin American housewife to each, Sanford gets the nod.

If you tie an actual cross that’s been blessed by a priest to all of them, they all lose. Unless one of them is Jewish, he’d get a pass.(or an Atheist, which none of them would admit)

Although we might need SC’s version of Bitchtit’s Bob to referee the whole affair. Will?

The Colonel January 28, 2013 at 3:39 pm

Fight club winner would probably be Patrick, King or Larkin…

Fight Club January 29, 2013 at 4:46 pm

Nash is an experienced martial artist with black belts in Karate and Jiu Jitsu.

The Colonel January 28, 2013 at 2:30 pm

Keith Blanford – Flake, here’s a quote from one of his blogs: “In honor of my upcoming speech at the Charleston Peace One Day Festival, Sunday September 19, 2010, I decided to write a blog about peace.
I believe that people can work together both locally and globally to obtain a truly peaceful world one day.
. Looks and talks more like a Green Party Candidate.

Curtis Bostic – Maybe, but do we really need another attorney. On the up side, has enough money to not be beholding if he can stay that way.

Ric Bryant – never heard of him

Larry Grooms (State Senator – uhm maybe, if he can keep from wrapping himself in any more flags

Jonathan Hoffman – a professional government employee looking to stay on the gravy train since his “political action firm” Solitical and doing so hot

Jeff King (Engineer) – Military Contractor, good ideas but no experience, just another face in the crowd, probably won’t be able to raise the money needed

John Kuhn (Former State Senator, attorney) – Uh yeah, no. Starts his issues page talking about federal overspending and ends it making the case for federal money for the Port…

Tim Larkin – has a facebook page going for him but not much else. Won’t be able to raise the money needed.

Chip Limehouse – more chins than a Chinese phonebook. No.

Peter McCoy (S.C. Rep.) – Maybe – money will be the decider here, does he have the ability to bring it in. His “smart ass white boy” picture on his web site ain’t helping none.

Elizabeth Moffly (Charleston school board member) – well known (for being not well known) perennial candidate, last ran for Superintendent of Schools. Flaky and not in the good way like a croissant

Ray Nash – He’s a constitutionalist, former sheriff and consultant (at least so says this really bad website:

Andy Patrick A yankee law enforcement officer – I don’t really care how they did it up there but he looks interesting if he’d update his “Hilton Head” page…

Shawn Pinkston – yet another “who’s he” attorney

Mark Sanford (Former governor, congressman) – uh yeah, time to go for a long walk, on a long trail. Maybe you really ought to try the Appalachian this time Marky Mark.,

Teddy Turner (Economics professor, son of media mogul Ted Turner) – This one could be fun, no real political baggage, enough money to not have to be owing to special interests. Don’t know doodle about his politics though he appears to be a bit of a moderate.

shifty henry January 28, 2013 at 2:38 pm

….. read and initialed – good post

Zobro January 28, 2013 at 11:05 pm

First of all: fuck you Fits for redirecting me to TurboTax.

Second: Good job Colonel, but your post begs for a few comments.

Blanford- Yes, your right: No!

Bostic- No! By that I mean, Yes, you are right we do not need another attorney! No kidding: NO! Congressman “Bad Hair” from GVL is enough lawyer for all of us.

Ric Bryant- This is SC. Real men spell it ricK.

Kuhn- Yes, your right: No! Actually, not only no, but HELL NO! (See Bostic for more details)

Grooms- Douche.

Hoffman- Douche 2.

King- Ok. Not a politician. Can use WordPress… Has a picture of 3 friends in his living room… I think I saw a Hallmark movie of this guy last night. If King had a politico helping him we could use an engineer in Congress, but…

Larkin- uh, my mom has Facebook. 9 hours yesterday farming.

Limehouse- he looks like that frat kid that was SOOO pissed when I wore that “How much for a 6-Pack of Friends to Go” T-shirt the 3rd day of Rush week… Yeah, No!

McCoy- he was with Limehouse when I wore the T-shirt. He had a slightly less douchey haircut. Slightly. Like, by a micro-douche. If he can “bring it”, then whatever “it is” it must be really, really not that special.

Moffly- ok, no!

Nash- he seems like the kind of Sheriff that would storm a middle school to bust a 7th grader for Godfathering a reefer-ring

Patrick- he should go run for office in New Pennsylhampshire and leave the glad handing to our good ole’ boys. Yeah, NO!

Pinkston- No! I have to keep repeating this stuff about attorneys. He does have the best name though. Congressman Pinkston! Almost as good as Congresman Mooney or Congressman Beerdrinkingmoneygrabbingwhoremonger…

Sanford- Fuck Sanford. I had to let people make fun of me, my state, my politics, you name it for a LONG time w/very little to defend it because of that punk. I mean, really, how do you dig a ditch and throw the bar in it and think you can walk back into the bar with your cash out!

Teddy- First, he has economics knowledge going for him. Give him that. The problem: he’s a grown man and he let’s people call him Teddy. This ain’t 1910. Unless he still wears pajamas with feet in them, then he needs to step up to Ted.

As far as I can tell the 1st Congressional District is screwed. The decent candidates are the newbys and they probably don’t have a snowballs chance.

shifty henry January 29, 2013 at 8:22 am

….. to zobro: pretty good – can you tell us more?

like_a_muthafuckin_bosstic January 28, 2013 at 2:52 pm

Larry Grooms is the only one of these candidates that I would consider voting for. At least he has a consistent conservative record. The others should just go away. Like NOW.

Andy January 28, 2013 at 5:30 pm

All this running to be one of 435 do nothing, know nothing parasites. Of course there’s no heavy lifting, you get to bunk alone (unless you prefer not to), and you get some kickass taxpayer funded benefits. Now that I think about it, I’m surprised there aren’t 100 cockaroaches running.

like_a_muthafuckin_bosstic January 28, 2013 at 6:09 pm

Teddy Turner’s campaign is being run by that little turd Michael Smith aka the “Mallory Factor Butt Boi” (one of the best comments ever on FITS). Enough said.


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