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Henry McMaster Caption Contest: The Finalists

An election with some real drama …

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Over the weekend, this news site ran a funny item about South Carolina governor Henry McMaster and his “Republican” running mate for the 2018 general election, Pamela Evette.

Last Friday, McMaster spokesperson Caroline Anderegg posted an image (above) of the glassy-eyed, 71-year-old politician nuzzling up to the 50-year-old Ohio native with what certainly appeared to be amorous intent.  Within a few hours, Anderegg removed the image … which many perceived as being a bit too “familiar.”

Thankfully, several of our sources took screen caps off of social media – which they forwarded to us prior to the picture being yanked.

Given the image’s obvious comedic potential, we decided to turn it into a caption contest, and as usual – our readers did not disappoint.

We received dozens of submissions … some of them funny, some of them not-so-funny … but almost all of them exceedingly off-color.  Which we loved, of course.  We even received one message from a longtime reader who politely informed us that their spouse’s contribution was so ribald as to prohibit it from being communicated altogether.

We still don’t know what that caption was … 

The response was overwhelming, though …

We even attracted the attention of Evette’s fake twitter account … the hilarious “Lieutenant Pam.”

With the help of our editorial staff, we have whittled the list of submissions down to ten finalists.  Those finalists are included below (in no particular order), along with links to the context of the remark (if necessary).  And for now, we are erring on the side of caution and keeping the names of all of those who submitted captions anonymous.

To the finalists!

***

“I’ll give you $100 if you’ll go jump in the pool …”

(context, if needed).

“Why Henry, is THAT why they call you Governor LEGGHORN?”

(context, if needed).

“For God’s sake, take the picture!  I just crapped in my Depends.”

(no context needed).

“Baby, you make me feel like I’m 69 again.”

(no context needed … we think).

“Will Hugh get jealous?”

(context, if needed).

“McMaster moves a little to the left to find sweet spot.”

(no context needed).

“My Cialis just kicked in.”

(no context needed).

“Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”

(no context needed).

“I like it. I love it. I want some more of it…”

(context, if needed).

“Our polls are rising, lieutenant Pam.”

(context, if needed).

***

Good stuff!

So … how does this work, exactly?  It’s easy …

Vote in the poll (below) for your favorite caption.  Then click back (often) to see the results.  As we noted in introducing the competition, the winner will receive a free subscription to this website (priceless) as well as fifty cold, hard American dollars.

We will let the poll run for a few days before closing it down, and will announce the winning submission (and, if possible, the winning author) sometime next week.

Thanks to everyone who submitted a caption and we look forward to doing more contests like this in the future!

***

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