Mark Sanford: “Love-Struck Mooncalf”

THE FIRST REVIEWS FOR SPEECHWRITER’S TELL-ALL ARE TRICKLING IN … || By FITSNEWS || We’ve written previously on Barton Swaim‘s “The Speechwriter,” a piece of historical fiction which is being released by Simon and Schuster this month.  More to the point, we’ve written on the damage control being done by…


|| By FITSNEWS || We’ve written previously on Barton Swaim‘s “The Speechwriter,” a piece of historical fiction which is being released by Simon and Schuster this month.  More to the point, we’ve written on the damage control being done by the subject of “The Speechwriter” – U.S. Rep. Mark Sanford – in advance of the book’s release.

A one time pro-liberty, pro-free market champion in the U.S. Congress, Sanford has sold out to the “Republican” establishment completely since winning a special election in 2013.

(See here, here and here for examples).

But “The Speechwriter” was written before Sanford’s great ideological betrayal.  It captures the “Luv Gov” during his second term as governor of South Carolina – including the time he infamously lied to his state and his family about an affair with Maria Belen Chapur, his lover-turned-fiancée-turned-girlfriend.

The notoriously frugal governor – who was forced to reimburse taxpayers for travel funds expended in the furtherance of his tryst – was able to hang onto his job, but the investigation into his travel practices nearly led to his impeachment in 2010 and ruined his presidential aspirations for 2012.

While we wait for our copy of the book to arrive, one review has already been published in The Washington Times.

This particular recap contains very little of seismic revelation regarding Sanford, although it does include references to the politician (or rather his fictionalized self) having “considerable idiosyncrasies – among them his enraged bursts into the press room, waving sheets of paper and garbling unintelligibly.”


No wonder this guy can’t keep a staff to save his life …

Swaim’s reviewer – former White House speechwriter John R. Coyne – does offer a humorous line about Sanford’s incessant oversharing in the aftermath of getting busted.  According to him, Sanford came off “sounding much like a love-struck mooncalf,” offering public statements “so naive they evoked as much pity as political outrage.”

Love-struck mooncalf? 

Ha!  We’ll have to add that to the lexicon associated with the man known around Washington, D.C. as “Representative TMI.”

Anyway, to pre-order your copy of “The Speechwriter,” click here.  We should be getting our copy soon and will look forward to sharing additional thoughts at that point.

Pic: Travis Bell Photography


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Bible Thumper July 2, 2015 at 10:43 am

It’s not a tell-all, because, if it’s fiction, guess what? IT’S FICTION!!!!

sparklecity July 2, 2015 at 11:35 am

But the REAL Mark Sanfraud is a military duty shirking SOB who just happened to go AWOL on the state of South Carolina by lying where he was or having his minions cover for his sorry ass by saying he was hiking on the Appalachian Trail when he was actually in Argentina getting a piece of Argentine ass
Every time I hear of someone saying or writing that South Carolina is a state of honorable people and has honorable traditions I just want to puke.
Any state that has an electorate who keeps this duty shirking schlub in political office has no honor whatsoever (I’m also including the politicians who carried the water for his ass and continue to do so).
As far as I’m concerned anyone who justifies/rationalizes that Sanfraud deserves to be representative of the state of South Carolina is not an honorable person and is a hypocrite when it comes to the high horse of sticking your chest out and bellow about heritage and tradition.
Whores and pimps all…………………

Bible Thumper July 2, 2015 at 11:56 am

Why are you holding back?

Insider July 2, 2015 at 10:46 am

I’m aware of a book under consideration being written, regarding the affairs, crime and punishment of our infamous Republicans in SC. The book is being written by a guy in the upstate and will feature the disgraced and rebuked Republican criminals, adulterers,
Mark Sanford, Richard Eckstrom, Bob Peeler, Danny Frazier, James Metts, Bobby Harrel, as well as others. Called a “tell all” , should be an interesting, enlightening, as well as embarrassing to the aforementioned.

The Colonel July 2, 2015 at 10:54 am

Don’t see it as a best seller, since no one outside the state will care, half the state can’t read above the 8th grade level, a quarter of the state doesn’t read unless forced and the remaining quarter might think about reading it if Conroy hasn’t written anything recently.

flip July 2, 2015 at 11:06 am

Pat Conroy? Loved the book ‘My Losing season’.

shifty henry July 2, 2015 at 11:23 am

Love-struck mooncalf? garbling unintelligibly.” …. ???
Well, that does it for me…

Rocky July 2, 2015 at 12:35 pm

Hey, stooop dat. I finished the ayth grad in Sowth Carolina and I cans reed just fin. I evin one the essa contest from the locale nites of longhorn to gets scoolership money – my essa was titles Uncle Festus and Jim Crow – A Family of Geneeuses.

shifty henry July 2, 2015 at 1:11 pm

The bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The
lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say:

“Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses dey come
together. I come again. Two asses dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Den I come one-a more.”

“You foul-mouthed people,” the lady yelled. “In this country
we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!”

“Hey, coola-downa lady,” said the man. “Imma justa teachin’ my fren’ howa to spella Mississippi.”

shifty henry July 2, 2015 at 1:16 pm

True Story:
Stationed in DC going to foreign language school, a buddy and I boarded a bus going downtown. We sat behind two
elderly women, one of whom was babbling excitedly to the other. My buddy suddenly realized they were speaking
Russian, which is his language class. He is listening and starts to shake trying to hold back his laughter. His eyes water and his face is red. He’s elbowing me but I don’t know what is going on. He busts out laughing and the women turn around and stare at us. He says in Russian, something like, “Excuse me, but I don’t know the girl so don’t worry!” The two women looked at each other and they busted out laughing. The one tells us, “I was telling my friend about the girl in the tv show and who she was having sex with today. My friend was working today and she missed it.”

Rocky July 2, 2015 at 1:46 pm

My true one – taking the train from the English Channel to Luxembourg. Get on the train, there’s a Greek chick in the compartment, ugliest ever, but big chested, and wearing the strongest nostril burning perfume ever. I sit down, Older Italian guy comes in, sits down. He’s got on overcoat, full suit, tie, mustache, smokes a cigarette every 15 minutes. If he was from Chicago he’d been a true Guido. For three hours he stares at these boobs smiling. We get about 90 minutes south of Brussels, nearing border town of Arlon, and he makes his move. Drops his lighter, reaches down to get it, fakes a fall lands on her chest. Holy cow, she’s screaming in Greek, he’s pretending it was an accident, train security is coming in the door – in French I hear “Arlon. Arlon.” That’s my queue, after three hours I want out. Grab my backpack, grab my cigarettes and jacket, and mutter something about I need some post cards, spent an hour having a couple of cold ones, then grabbed the commuter train into Luxembourg. Universal savior of overseas travel in all countries – beer.

shifty henry July 2, 2015 at 3:36 pm

Great story… what is Arlon?

Rocky July 2, 2015 at 1:37 pm

Love that one. Upvote triple, 10++++. Have a good 4th. Stay away from the Klan rally.

Sybil July 2, 2015 at 4:12 pm

I always thought it was M – I – crooked letter, crooked letter, I – hump back, hump back – I.

I declare I learn new stuff on this site daily.

shifty henry July 2, 2015 at 4:19 pm

I was born in Mississippi …

Sybil July 2, 2015 at 5:43 pm

I digress, you definitely have one up on me ;)

shifty henry July 2, 2015 at 1:14 pm

You deserve the following joke, and I saved yours to my “Million Dollar Humor File”

guest July 2, 2015 at 11:05 am

Sybil-minded, MOST people are busy raising their families and trying to pay the bills.I doubt ANYONE will care for a fictional account of political figures by a disgruntled, miserable liberal/RINO.

Why do you think there is NO audience for liberal/RINO talk radio,television or books? Losers aren’t attractive.

Sybil July 2, 2015 at 4:09 pm

Your fixation on me is most fascinating and very telling. Why don’t you start your own talk radio/tele or books? My guess — no one is interested in the rants of a trolls fixated on a fictional character of your own making.

Half what I say is true, a quarter fiction, the rest is responding to your large troll ass. I regret I spent that 25% responding to the later – thinking it might be better applied to fiction.

Denozitall July 2, 2015 at 3:04 pm

All you have to do is think of the visuals for the abovementioned and a few others…terribly unfortunate looking and you will vomit a little in your mouth.

Talk Radio July 2, 2015 at 7:32 pm

i actually received a call from the guy, in Greenville regarding the book.
He plans a title of “Dirty Southern Politics”. “The immoral, illegal and unethical dirty tricks of Politics in the South”. He claims there there will be chapters on Bill and Hillary Clinton, as well as others. It may sell well.

Rocky July 2, 2015 at 7:59 pm

Put those women with these guys, looks like a turd hanging out of a goat’s ass!

mamatiger92 July 3, 2015 at 8:31 am

Mark and Maria, Richard and Kelly, Bob and Donna are all examples of sick narcissistic adulterers. The Peelers are among the worse with their hypocritical faith. I remember the news stories of their attempts to destroy all who would not support Peeler for Governor, the dirty tricks, etc. , while having affairs and attempting to destroy their mates at the same time.Their scorched earth policy, while claiming their faith.

jimlewisgowb July 2, 2015 at 10:47 am

Having a few seconds to waste I considered why is this guy so fucked up

Then bingo, it hit me – Sanford as a youngster did not jerk off enough

shifty henry July 2, 2015 at 11:20 am

now cut that out..!!

The Colonel July 2, 2015 at 11:29 am

I’m thinking he did it to much.

Rocky July 2, 2015 at 12:29 pm

I”m thinkin’ that was during the Jenny years – hence the need to find new pastures.

bogart July 2, 2015 at 1:04 pm

I’m thinking it’s hard to decide what to grab on to when you’re all dick.

Glibby July 2, 2015 at 3:34 pm

At least you drew the line in the sand for Mrs. Rocky: “Put out or it’s off to greener pastures for me!” But, I imagine that line runs both ways in your marriage. Not so much for Jenny who lived with a detached, self-absorbed man-child who didn’t understand the meaning of “reciprocity” in a relationship.

You better start taking a Prostate Health supplement to ward off the inevitable, cuz for sure your beloved would not want to hang with a limped dick fool.

flip July 2, 2015 at 10:54 am

You can tell when a Christian is really making a difference in his ‘community’.
The evil purveyors of falsehoods and filth seek to destroy them.Nikki and Mark are examples of Christian warriors that fight the people’s battles everyday to make America proud again. Keep the faith Mark.You truly have served the people well as a fiscal and social conservative.

Ain’t no book gonna take Sanford down.Neither the the DNC or RNC could do it.Not even a card board cut out of Nancy Pelosi could touch the master of all things political.

mamatiger92 July 2, 2015 at 11:11 am

They are also examples of selfish adulterers.

flip July 2, 2015 at 11:22 am

If they were gay,transgender,supported illegal immigration and partial-birth abortion you would consider these two saints. Their personal lives wouldn’t matter.

Way you socialist dems run.

mamatiger92 July 2, 2015 at 11:28 am

Changing the subject doesn’t change the fact that your so-called “Christian warriors” are lying hypocrites.

Shut your gob please July 2, 2015 at 11:28 am

I do believe in frrefom of speech but Flip, you are an embarrassment to Republicanism. In fact, you are so abhorrent and I think you are a leftist plant.

flip July 2, 2015 at 11:32 am

Well I do love raising taxes and fantasize about marrying dogs.

disappointed July 2, 2015 at 11:24 am

Christian warrior??? Just another disordered Jesus Cheater notorious in his assertion “that the rules don’t apply to me.”
As predicted, and recently demonstrated by Sanford, he is a corrupted soul and easily coerced to modify his once so-called values and principals to remain in the company of the political elites.
There is little difference in the way the parties grapple through lying self-interest to retain power.

Nikki Haley July 2, 2015 at 11:33 am

Flip, I already told you, I’m only Christian on camera. I’m still a heathen Sikh at heart!

Sic Semper Tyrannis July 2, 2015 at 11:46 am

Earth calling, hello, anyone there ?

Fan dance July 2, 2015 at 2:46 pm

False idolatry. This isn’t going to end well for you. It might be hard to find the real deal these days, but Haley and Sanford are most definitely not it. Caitlyn Jenner is more genuine than those two.

shifty henry July 2, 2015 at 11:26 am

Right now Shifty has more interest in opening up “13 Shocking Celebrity Plastic Surgery Disasters” — it has to be more entertaining.

Rocky July 2, 2015 at 12:30 pm

Yeah, ain’t those awesome?

shifty henry July 2, 2015 at 1:07 pm

Rocky, and you’re still here? Sorry, but I chickened out!

CNSYD July 2, 2015 at 11:56 am

So this book will be fiction much like Folks’ book of his affair with Haley.

nitrat July 2, 2015 at 1:26 pm

Is FITSNEWS getting paid for running the link to purchase?

Elliott July 2, 2015 at 1:41 pm

Are you getting paid by Idiots International everytime you post?

Krazy Kat July 2, 2015 at 3:24 pm



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