SC

“Keckstrom” Is At It Again

For those of you unfamiliar with Kelly Payne, she’s one half of the most dysfunctional (yet entertaining) “personalitical” relationship the state of South Carolina has ever seen. We’ve taken to calling it “Keckstrom” – because its other half is S.C. Comptroller General Richard Eckstrom, whose general shadiness and total lack…

For those of you unfamiliar with Kelly Payne, she’s one half of the most dysfunctional (yet entertaining) “personalitical” relationship the state of South Carolina has ever seen.

We’ve taken to calling it “Keckstrom” – because its other half is S.C. Comptroller General Richard Eckstrom, whose general shadiness and total lack of commitment to his job would have probably gotten him fired in any state other than this one.

Seriously, these two toxic lovers – who literally define the term on again, off again – are back on the rocks.

How do we know? Because Payne has been posting platitudes on social media about Eckstrom’s likely 2014 GOP primary opponent – Hartsville, S.C. business owner Michael Luppe.

And the state’s top accountant is livid about it …

“He’s furious Kelly is endorsing his opponent,” a source close to the relationship tells FITS.

Really? He should probably just keep an eye on his watch …  because we’re gonna go ahead and tell you exactly how this is going to end … errr, “begin again.” In a few weeks, Payne will post a picture of another wedding ring (the old ones go to Craigslist, people). Next she’ll offer up some ridiculous platitude about how she’s finally found that one piece of her heart that’s been missing … (you know, what the priest on The Princess Bride called “Wuv, Twoo Wuv”).

Then all five thousand of her Facebook friends will – almost in unison – carpet bomb her page with awkwardly giddy congratulations like this is the very first time they’ve seen this song and dance.

Then a few months later the process will repeat … maybe with police reports. Maybe not.

Probably some itching, though.

Anyway …

The only way this cycle will ever break? When one of these loons crosses the line from bat sh*t crazy to homicidal crazy … a line we’re guessing gets a little closer with every passing day.

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75 comments

Tater Salad October 31, 2013 at 4:30 pm

From one of S.C.’s greatest teachers to a dysfunctional bimbo. What a fall from grace @ FITS.

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Ashley October 31, 2013 at 8:02 pm

Fuck you

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Tater Salad October 31, 2013 at 8:08 pm

when, where and how much? heard you aren’t that good.

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Mike at the Beach November 1, 2013 at 9:51 am

Huh?

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Don't forget penicillin October 31, 2013 at 4:44 pm

Ms. Payne,

If you really want to hurt Eckstrom before you two make up again, you shouldn’t just endorse his opponent, you should bone him and send the pics to FITSnews.

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9" October 31, 2013 at 4:56 pm Reply
Bet October 31, 2013 at 4:57 pm

If there is a Great Creator out there some where He will remove that know it all, cancer of a turd Richard Eckstrom from office. His office, far more important than most people imagine, has a allowed untold zillions of dollars of crap slip through the states accounting system.

If he did his job we would all be richer.

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sweepin October 31, 2013 at 5:47 pm

Eckstrom is Exhibit 1 in demonstrating that God doesn’t play political favorites. Not unless he has a completely wicked and malevolent mind.

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Who will be rich? October 31, 2013 at 7:52 pm

Samuel told all the words of the Lord to the people who were asking him for a king. 11 He said, “This is what the king who will reign over you will claim as his rights: He will take your sons and make them serve with his chariots and horses, and they will run in front of his chariots. 12 Some he will assign to be commanders
of thousands and commanders of fifties, and others to plow his ground
and reap his harvest, and still others to make weapons of war and
equipment for his chariots. 13 He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers. 14 He will take the best of your fields and vineyards and olive groves and give them to his attendants. 15 He will take a tenth of your grain and of your vintage and give it to his officials and attendants. 16 Your male and female servants and the best of your cattle[c] and donkeys he will take for his own use. 17 He will take a tenth of your flocks, and you yourselves will become his slaves. 18 When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, but the Lord will not answer you in that day.”

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Wesley Donahue October 31, 2013 at 5:15 pm

I love Kelly Payne, she rocks! She’ll make a fine governor.

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Tonto November 1, 2013 at 3:19 pm

She’s just as pathetic, incompetent, self serving and nuts as Haley, so if thatbis how you are judging a fine Governor you may be right.

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bogart October 31, 2013 at 5:48 pm

I think the love these two share is a beautiful thing……her love for his position and money and his love for someone coordinated enough to open his child proof Viagra bottle.

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carrie October 31, 2013 at 6:43 pm

Aren’t you referring to the other couple?

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Old Fool October 31, 2013 at 8:33 pm

Do you think Cialis or Viagra is covered under the Federal Employees Prescription Plan? (Or State Plan for Eckstrom) The Congressman may be cutting back on his little blue pills to afford his kids’ tuitions which may also explain why soulmate spends so much time in Argentina.

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bogart November 1, 2013 at 10:07 am

No carrie I’m not…with Kelly and Limp Dick it’s true love….with Mark and Maria it’s just that moonglo thingie..full moon and things rise.

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carrie November 1, 2013 at 10:43 am

Is that why she keeps going back to Argentina to get that glow and he has to go there to get recharged-that’s where they met, had their first you know what and later became engaged. Maybe there will be a wedding soon and it will have to be that country of the intense moonglo.

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dwb619 November 1, 2013 at 12:16 pm

She keeps going back to Argentina because the “LUV GUV” ain’t the only fish shes frying.

bdi, bdi November 1, 2013 at 1:57 pm

Aha, Plan B. No wonder she was ring-less in Argentina. Maybe the waiter took it back. Or is she trying to make slacker Sanford jeolous?

bogurt November 1, 2013 at 2:14 pm

That sounds more like the Peelers? No Money, bankrupt, lives off her?
Is that the other couple? It can’t be Mark and Maria, or is there another we don’t know of. The Republican party is rife withn these people.
The whole bunch of these people is sick, gold digging, old fools, seduced by perceived power and influence….

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carrie November 1, 2013 at 4:05 pm

The other couple was M @ M, you got it right. They got caught in the moonglo like you said and if she is in Argentina and is ringless-makes you wonder what is going on. Are they trying to throw us off and have a secret wedding or are they cooling off. It is springtime or early summer now in Argentina.

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Tiger Rag November 1, 2013 at 4:26 pm

The Peelers are pretty much a sicko duo also.
I’ve always heard if they will cheat with you, they will cheat on you. A gold digger and a whore monger could never make a desirable duo. If you are ever around these two watch the body language. If you are ever around them independent of the other, it’s truly obvious. He has always been a skirt chaser and a leopard never looses it’s spots.

Veneral November 1, 2013 at 7:50 pm

This entire bunch of adulterers, liars and narcissist is a blight on the State and the Republican Party. The Party would be much better off to nget rid of these embarrassments, if not, it shows what hypocrits and how low the Party has become.
You can throw that cheap Governor Haley in the mix with with these other embarrassing women. everybody can look at Kelly, Maria, Donna and see what they all are!

T.B. November 2, 2013 at 9:00 am

These men Sanford, Eckstrom and Peeler need to realize also, If they will cheat with you, they will cheat on you!
Think Maria, Kelly and Donna are not looking all the time. I can tell you they are. Keep your friends close, keep your adultering companion closer!
All will get theirs in the end..sooner or later! Some already are and don’t know it yet.

whatever October 31, 2013 at 7:46 pm

Money? He’s homeless. Position? People hate him. Get ur facts straight.

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bogart November 1, 2013 at 9:58 am

My bad…..I thought he lived with her in her HOME and that he still had a JOB……didn’t realize that because he was hated the state stopped his paycheck.

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Birds do it, Bees do it October 31, 2013 at 8:15 pm

Thank God they are too old to spawn.

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bogart November 1, 2013 at 10:14 am

Strom Thurmond never stopped ….even when his sperm had to wear floaties to make the swim.

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Squishy123 October 31, 2013 at 6:52 pm

I’d still like to see her boobies, I bet she’s got nipples that could poke your eyes out.

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shifty henry November 1, 2013 at 12:25 am

3/4″ works for me…….

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jimlewisowb October 31, 2013 at 7:32 pm

Forgot it was Halloween

Great costumes Kellie and Dickie

Dressing up as humans, what a novel idea

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Catherine de Medici October 31, 2013 at 7:36 pm

Thanks Will, you’re such a loyal friend.

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Catherine de Medici October 31, 2013 at 7:54 pm

I hope your children don’t choke on their Halloween candy tonite.

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Squishy123 October 31, 2013 at 9:34 pm

I hope yours do.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein November 1, 2013 at 7:27 am

*Stifles a laugh*

BE NICE, SQUISHY!

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Grandpa Eckstrom November 1, 2013 at 8:50 am

At least we know they won’t be choking on Grandpa’s cock, unlike Catherine.

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MaceSucks November 1, 2013 at 10:27 am

I think we’ve found Kelly Payne’s username.

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Ashley October 31, 2013 at 8:10 pm

(Like you did with Ashley and Cason?) who haven’t you fucked Will? Katrina is one in hundreds.

The only way this cycle will ever break? When one of these loons crosses the line from bat sh*t crazy to homicidal crazy …

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afterburp October 31, 2013 at 10:54 pm

I don’t know maybe its me but I thought Glenn Close got more and more hot the crazier she got in Fatal Attraction. Give me a choice between a chick with borderline personality disorder and her completely normal twin sister, I’ll take the crazy one every time.

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shifty henry November 1, 2013 at 12:23 am

There is truth in that……………

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TontoBubbaGoldstein November 1, 2013 at 7:24 am

Glenn Close got crazier every time she ate yogurt in Fatal Attraction.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein November 1, 2013 at 11:05 am

Give me a choice between a chick with borderline personality disorder and her completely normal twin sister, I’ll take the crazy one every time.

*TBG sighs heavily*

Yep.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein November 1, 2013 at 7:30 am

There is a lot of ICKstrom in Keckstrom.

Just imagine the ‘make up sex”!

Or not.

*Imagines*

Yeah, “not” is the way to go.

*gags*

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TontoBubbaGoldstein November 1, 2013 at 7:31 am

“No stupid restraining order can stand in the way of OUR TRUE LOVE!!”

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Billy K Mulligan November 1, 2013 at 9:40 am

She made some reference on Facebook recently that someone, I’m presuming Eckstrom, stated her home was not a home. That it was a pile of dirty dishes and a closet full of clothes or some such shit. What the hell was that all about?

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Gullable Payne fan November 1, 2013 at 12:37 pm

Not much to it. They are both insane! 20 bucks says he was in the same room when she typed that.

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Mike at the Beach November 1, 2013 at 9:52 am

Mad props for managing to fold in a Princess Bride reference…

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shifty henry November 1, 2013 at 10:50 am

All kidding aside, which of you red, white,and blue blooded Southern Gentlemen would not boink her if she would give it up to you —– CONFESS!

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TontoBubbaGoldstein November 1, 2013 at 3:14 pm

TBG knows one red, white and Jew blooded Southern gentleman that wouldn’t.

Ten years ago…

…prolly.

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AssBlow November 1, 2013 at 11:15 am

I hope that shit head slams the door on his nut sack. Slack ass bastard!

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Manray November 1, 2013 at 11:19 am

This is SC! He’ll be re-elected.

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COL Foolikin November 2, 2013 at 9:13 am

Michael Luppe will dominate this election.

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Gullable Payne fan November 1, 2013 at 11:55 am

Sic, you are missing something. Just because she is supporting his opponent doesn’t mean they aren’t currently together. Michael Luppe, the first thing you can do towards a successful campaign is don’t answer the phone when she calls!

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a roll in the hay November 1, 2013 at 3:25 pm

I’m a fan of all of these gold digging sluts who give it up and throw itaway all away for a little self serving fling and a few minutes of fame.
These women have their prices , as all whores do!

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Chee-raw November 2, 2013 at 9:16 am

Zwhackery go home to mama Pam

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Nölff November 1, 2013 at 2:18 pm

I’d love to pee in the butt of Eckstrom’s daughter. She’s hot.

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Rob November 2, 2013 at 9:07 am

Who hasn’t hit that thang?

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Slartibartfast November 1, 2013 at 5:30 pm

Ah don’ lak scrawny wimmin. Ah lak wimmins whut got sum chunk. And thass a natruhl thang.

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shifty henry November 1, 2013 at 6:15 pm

Two sayings regarding preferences—-
1) Thin may be in, but fat’s where it’s at….
2) Nearer the bone, sweeter the meat….

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Slartibartfast November 1, 2013 at 9:49 pm

Ah! Your logic is perfect, as always!

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Boz Martin November 1, 2013 at 8:36 pm

All of my attempts to convince her to dump that old creep and get with a less powerful but much cooler old creep (me) have failed. Oh well.

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Tarter November 2, 2013 at 9:21 am

Sure ya have

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Boz Martin November 4, 2013 at 11:46 am

Nah. We were FB friends for a while but I think she unfriended me. Probably over something I posted, like a FITS link. That’s OK. Delinda Ridings is hotter anyway.

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shifty henry November 2, 2013 at 10:04 am

HAH! Ya’ DID bang her, didn’t ya’ ——- CONFESS!

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HPV367 November 2, 2013 at 9:01 am

EckScum has been banging his secretary for months.

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Kellylickssaggyballz December 7, 2013 at 3:02 pm

Kelly Payne is the most bi-polar, slut We’ve seen in SC. She only wants a man in a powerful position(no pun intended) If Eckstrom were a gym teacher or donut shop worker, she would ignore him. This bitch is bat shit crazy, her fake tits and uncontrollable behavior should be noticed by the damn school board. FIRE THIS LADY, I will never stand for this misfit to be teaching my children. No wonder her kids flee that hell of a house. To even know this lady makes me want to go to take a shower.

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Transparency Advocate SC November 2, 2013 at 12:41 pm

D.(Ridding you of your campaign account) getting rich!!!!! Making $875 a week, sleeping… I mean working for Curtis Loftis’ campaign for re-election for State Treasurer. She also gets a good sum from the state party, and I am sure she gets alimony from her ex-husband. She should focus on those kids of hers, they are by different baby-daddies. No wonder she and Kelly Payne be so good friends. Kelly get’s about 3k a month from ex as well as a salary of near 40K a year for “teaching” – I must be in the wrong business as far as I can tell. Treat husbands like shit business and suck campaign $ dry business

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Hugh November 3, 2013 at 1:09 am

Gross my mule.

I remember the Russ Meyer days before plastic surgery, photoshop airbrush, fetish with thin, and a real dame was 39D-25-38 of the real deal.

http://www.pulpinternational.com/pulp/keyword/calendar.html?next=40

With that sagging babe, Eckstrom is lost in a time warp.

Poor guy.

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LaLynda November 3, 2013 at 11:48 am

Poor guy. His secretary is way HOTTER than Kelly Payne. All his paramours have been way HOTTER than Kelly Payne. Even his baby moma is way HOTTER than Kelly Payne and she be like 72 years old.

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Mimi November 4, 2013 at 3:54 pm

As Jax Teller from SOA says, “In the last ten years, I’ve slept with hundreds of women, but when I’m inside someone there’s only one face I see!”

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Kellyspendtoomuch$$ December 9, 2013 at 12:26 am

Kelly Payne is a complete bitch and I, along with dozens, hopes she gets fired from her school district. She probably has made passes at students. Sic Willie, we need an update on this dramatic, bipolar, idiot. Her neighbors are good sources!

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LOL December 11, 2013 at 10:47 pm Reply
TheTruthIs December 15, 2013 at 7:28 pm

Kelly Payne misuses campaign money for her benefit.

http://apps.sc.gov/PublicReporting/IndividualCandidate/ViewExpenditures.aspx

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charles wentworth December 15, 2013 at 7:34 pm

kelly payne spent $2111.80 on “gas” and “cell phone” – her personal cell phone in ONE MONTH!!!!! APRIL-MAY 2010 – USES CAMPAIGN MONEY!

http://apps.sc.gov/PublicReporting/IndividualCandidate/ViewExpenditures.aspx

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POKIJHYGFRDXCGBHJK December 15, 2013 at 7:36 pm

LET’S SEE YOUR “Reimbursements” from “travel” MRS Payne, the unelectable person that you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://apps.sc.gov/PublicReporting/IndividualCandidate/ViewExpenditures.aspx

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Tommy Boy December 19, 2013 at 11:06 pm

If anyone needs shelter from the snow storms or rain, you may take cover between Mrs Payne’s BEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!1

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