For those of you unfamiliar with Kelly Payne, she’s one half of the most dysfunctional (yet entertaining) “personalitical” relationship the state of South Carolina has ever seen.
We’ve taken to calling it “Keckstrom” – because its other half is S.C. Comptroller General Richard Eckstrom, whose general shadiness and total lack of commitment to his job would have probably gotten him fired in any state other than this one.
How do we know? Because Payne has been posting platitudes on social media about Eckstrom’s likely 2014 GOP primary opponent – Hartsville, S.C. business owner Michael Luppe.
And the state’s top accountant is livid about it …
“He’s furious Kelly is endorsing his opponent,” a source close to the relationship tells FITS.
Really? He should probably just keep an eye on his watch … because we’re gonna go ahead and tell you exactly how this is going to end … errr, “begin again.” In a few weeks, Payne will post a picture of another wedding ring (the old ones go to Craigslist, people). Next she’ll offer up some ridiculous platitude about how she’s finally found that one piece of her heart that’s been missing … (you know, what the priest on The Princess Bride called “Wuv, Twoo Wuv”).
Then all five thousand of her Facebook friends will – almost in unison – carpet bomb her page with awkwardly giddy congratulations like this is the very first time they’ve seen this song and dance.
Then a few months later the process will repeat … maybe with police reports. Maybe not.
Probably some itching, though.
The only way this cycle will ever break? When one of these loons crosses the line from bat sh*t crazy to homicidal crazy … a line we’re guessing gets a little closer with every passing day.