The number of things that enrage liberals is delightfully delicious. Imagine trying to have a conversation with a leftist about one of the topics below. How long would it be before you’d see a vein bulge out on their forehead? You, of course, would chuckle during the opinion exchange, then retell the story to friends over a beer, starting with, “You ain’t gonna believe what this person told me the other day.”
Your liberal counterpart, on the other hand, will be binge watching Unsolved Mysteries, trying to figure out a way to kill you — non-violently, of course.
So … pick the topics below you think a liberal could discuss without raising their voice:
- Man-made global warming
- Trans rights
- Equality v Equity
- The military
- The National Anthem
- The Founding Fathers
- Christopher Columbus
- Anything about the South
- Conservative women and minorities
- Old-fashioned lightbulbs
- Institutional racism
- Colin Kaepernick crapping on his White parents
- Contextual history
- Fox News
- Charter schools
- The American flag
- The Constitution
- Barbie Dolls
- Hate Speech
- America’s role in the world
- Muscle cars
- Rioting maskless during Covid
- Diesel trucks
- National borders
- Free Speech
- Covid vaccines
- Safe Spaces
- Trigger warnings
- The role of a traditional family in society
- Science research funded by the Federal Government
- Segregated housing on campuses
- Drag show story hours
- Murder charges for killing a pregnant woman
How can so many people become deranged about so many things in such a short time? During the reign of Bill Clinton (the first of his name) none of these things were issues. In fact, liberal women remained entirely mute about Billy getting oral sex from an intern.
Then came Dubya, and a few issues became important … until Obama (peace be upon his name) solved all of America’s problems, except the one he was qualified to do — mending race relations. The fabric of a mostly happy country began to tear.
Then, the Orange Man Cometh (and George Floyd Departeth) and everything became a nation-shattering issue overnight. It’s impossible to know where hysterics end now, except once you reach “having a President who doesn’t know where he is.”
Liberals, in fact, have become evangelical about their outrage. They won’t stop until everyone is as bitter and angry as they … so much so they’re openly coming for America’s children — grooming them to question their sexuality, holding drag queen story hours, and handing out chest-binding straps without telling the child’s parents.
I have struggled to find an analogy for this hatred and insistence on sharing it, but it finally occurred to me: Cocaine.
Recreational coke users are famous for sharing their coke with other people … oftentimes with complete strangers. Many times I’ve wondered why, given the financial cost of the stuff. Sure, if you’ve got a few close friends it makes sense, but the stories of “I met this dude who shared his coke” are countless. People don’t go around picking up entire bar tabs for strangers, so what gives with cocaine?
It finally dawned on me that coke users know how dangerous it is and they don’t want to fly to Destination F’d without a wingman alongside them.
I think it’s kind of like extreme sports … I used to be a skydiver, and part of the fun was being around people equally committed to the death-defying rush. I doubt I’d have pursued the sport if it was done entirely alone, with no one to share the experience. Lots of us would make one jump on a Saturday, but stay the entire day just to hang around other people willing to auger into the earth at 165mph — for fun. Much as there is a bond in shared suffering, there’s a bond in shared recklessness.
So, back to cocaine. No one who does recreational coke wants to become an addict, but the odds are huge they personally know someone with a coke problem. And they know there’s never been a news story about how “Jim was a failure, but started doing coke, and now he’s a huge success! Once again, drug use leads to a slot at the top!”
So they share their powder, because there’s also a bond in shared self-destruction.
RELATED | COSMIC PERMISSION
It’s a micro-example of the “cosmic permission” theory I’ve written about. The guy sharing thinks, “If this dude I don’t know is willing to do my coke with me, then it must be pretty mainstream… and if everyone’s doing it, that means I’m not a bad person. At least no worse than this guy next to me hoovering a rail of my blow. Plus, I’m being generous, so I’m actually better than him!”
I spoke with an Anglican Bishop to get his perspective on liberal rage, and he told me this: “For many on the left, that anger comes part and parcel with being agnostic or atheist. If you don’t believe there’s a God, and one day people will be judged, then this is all there is. There’s no hope that one day things will be set right. I don’t know how people can get out of bed in the morning utterly devoid of hope for the future — I’d be just as angry, I suppose.”
That makes sense to me: The fury on the left, and the bemusement on the right. We don’t understand each other, because we can’t. We’re all standing at the foot of the Tower of Babel, speaking different languages.
I hope that someday the liberals in America will come to peace with the fact they live in a great nation. A nation with a crappy and corrupt government, and a class of elites above the law, but a nation made great by its people.
Go meet some of them: Drink a beer in a working-class dive bar, or to the biker rally in Myrtle Beach. Last time I was at the Myrtle Beach Biker Week, I had a conversation with an older biker chick, who I discovered was a nuclear engineer. I met car mechanics, CPAs, and blacksmiths. Salt of the earth, all.
Saddle up at the bar right up to the 300-lb dude wearing a bandana and a Harley jacket, order a cheap American beer, and strike up a conversation. Don’t offer your opinions, just listen and ask questions. Ask them why they love America, and their biker pastime. You’ll be surprised what you might learn when Skynyrd is the background music.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR …
Prioleau Alexander is a freelance writer, focusing mostly on politics and non-fiction humor. He is the author of two books: ‘You Want Fries With That?’ and ‘Dispatches Along the Way.’ Both are available on Amazon. He hopes to have another title published soon, but that would require his agent actually doing his job, so it may be awhile. Oh, and if you want to see his preferred bio pic? Click here …
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The lack of self awareness is incredible.
The best part is he’s basically telling liberals to become Drunkles – drink cheap beer at a bar an ask everyone why they love America. The literal pinnacle of existence as it were.
That’s it. That’s the whole solution here. There’s no “meet in the middle” plea where he promises to do some similar kind of effort, because that requires effort – on his part. He’s literally just telling people to adopt his habits and mindset. “Why can’t you just be like me?” Then we’ll all be the same and won’t argue, and Drunkle gets to be right, and that’s when the rainbows and unicorns come out. It turns out world peace really was that easy all along.
It’s hard not to laugh, it really is, but the reality of this is sad.
The lack of self awareness is key to the existence of this silly blog.
I would love to discuss things like universal health care, four day work weeks, universal higher education, advocating that we fight DC like the French fight their government when it comes to raising the retirement age, and building a sustainable model for society – in regards to food, energy, global warming, etc. – rather than continue in the commercialism, pollution, resource-wasting nonsense of late stage capitalism.
You want to talk about… Colin Kaepernick’s parents? Barbies? Muscle cars?
We are not the same.
The title of this blog post tells you all need to know about the crazy that the American right-wing has become. Unmoored from reality.
This guy has brainworms. That’s the only explanation for this word salad.
Apparently he wasn’t sober enough to notice many liberal women who were outraged, and continue to be outraged, by Bill bj. They also believe he raped a woman and sexually harassed others.