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2016

All Is Not Lost, Marco Rubio

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THERE’S STILL PLENTY OF WORK FOR YOU IN FLORIDA

U.S. Senator Marco Rubio of Florida is headed toward a catastrophic defeat in his home state’s “Republican” primary election next week.  It’s the sort of shellacking one doesn’t recover from politically – especially seeing as Rubio was billed as the GOP establishment’s savior less than a month ago.

Anyway … we have good news for Rubio.  If his political future is indeed kaput (as we certainly hope it is), there’s still work to be found in Florida.

For example we found this job listing for the position of Pool and Beach Attendant at Miami’s luxurious Fisher Island Club, which boasts of being “a tropical island oasis complete with private beach, golf, tennis, spa (and) marina.”

Sounds nice huh? Sure, if you’re a guest of the “oasis.” Anyway, here’s the posting for this $10 an hour position …

Primary Responsibilities:
1. Morning duties- Open hut / check and refurbish towel supply; set up beach and pool; set up cabanas, lounges, pads, place towels on chairs; write weather conditions on board.
2. Sweep beach hut and surrounding areas.
3. Issue towels to beach and pool guests.
4. Ability to take orders and serve food and beverage as necessary.
5. Check ladies (or men’s) changing room and seaside pool on a regular basis for towels. Straighten up the changing room when necessary.
6. Evening Duties- Straighten chairs on beach and pool; return towels to laundry; process all vouchers for towels not returned.
7. Maintain Beach equipment: chairs, cushions, cabanas, umbrellas, etc.
8. Comply with all Fisher Island Club standards with regard to grooming, conduct, policies and procedures.
9. Complete all other duties and responsibilities as necessary as assigned by supervisor.

Education/Skills/Work Experience Required:
• High School Diploma or equivalent.

Working Conditions:
• Outdoor pool and beach environment.

Go get ’em, pool boy!

Although we’d be remiss if we didn’t inform Rubio that this is the sort of job you really have to show up for if you expect to keep drawing a paycheck.

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