National Politics - 2016

All Is Not Lost, Marco Rubio

THERE’S STILL PLENTY OF WORK FOR YOU IN FLORIDA U.S. Senator Marco Rubio of Florida is headed toward a catastrophic defeat in his home state’s “Republican” primary election next week.  It’s the sort of shellacking one doesn’t recover from politically – especially seeing as Rubio was billed as the GOP…


U.S. Senator Marco Rubio of Florida is headed toward a catastrophic defeat in his home state’s “Republican” primary election next week.  It’s the sort of shellacking one doesn’t recover from politically – especially seeing as Rubio was billed as the GOP establishment’s savior less than a month ago.

Anyway … we have good news for Rubio.  If his political future is indeed kaput (as we certainly hope it is), there’s still work to be found in Florida.

For example we found this job listing for the position of Pool and Beach Attendant at Miami’s luxurious Fisher Island Club, which boasts of being “a tropical island oasis complete with private beach, golf, tennis, spa (and) marina.”

Sounds nice huh? Sure, if you’re a guest of the “oasis.” Anyway, here’s the posting for this $10 an hour position …

Primary Responsibilities:
1. Morning duties- Open hut / check and refurbish towel supply; set up beach and pool; set up cabanas, lounges, pads, place towels on chairs; write weather conditions on board.
2. Sweep beach hut and surrounding areas.
3. Issue towels to beach and pool guests.
4. Ability to take orders and serve food and beverage as necessary.
5. Check ladies (or men’s) changing room and seaside pool on a regular basis for towels. Straighten up the changing room when necessary.
6. Evening Duties- Straighten chairs on beach and pool; return towels to laundry; process all vouchers for towels not returned.
7. Maintain Beach equipment: chairs, cushions, cabanas, umbrellas, etc.
8. Comply with all Fisher Island Club standards with regard to grooming, conduct, policies and procedures.
9. Complete all other duties and responsibilities as necessary as assigned by supervisor.

Education/Skills/Work Experience Required:
• High School Diploma or equivalent.

Working Conditions:
• Outdoor pool and beach environment.

Go get ’em, pool boy!

Although we’d be remiss if we didn’t inform Rubio that this is the sort of job you really have to show up for if you expect to keep drawing a paycheck.


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GOP BE CRAZY March 11, 2016 at 3:13 pm

I have heard Rubio is telling his supporters in Ohio to vote Kasich and that Cruz is telling his supporters in Florida to vote Rubio in a joint last ditch effort to stop Trump. Any Truth?

Rocky Verdad March 11, 2016 at 3:43 pm

Hearing that too. Saying Rubio’s telling his Ohio supporters to vote for John. Not John Boehner of course.

Bible Thumper March 11, 2016 at 4:20 pm

Meanwhile, Rubio or Kasich picks up 19 winner take all delegates in Washington, DC. I don’t think it is enough to prevent Trump from getting 50% of the delegates. If he is by far the leader, the Repubs want be able to prevent Trump from getting the nomination. Trump would have to implode.

Flip March 11, 2016 at 4:52 pm

At this rate Trump could seriously implode and still come out on top, which is kinda funny, but kinda sad too.

Bob March 11, 2016 at 3:58 pm

Here is the deal supposedly brokered by Bush and the establishment. Rubio will campaign only in Florida and encourage his Ohio people to support Kasich. Kasich will campaign only in Ohio and encourage his Florida people to support Rubio. Cruz will stop campaigning in Ohio and Florida and campaign in Illinois, Missouri, and North Carolina.

The goal is to stop Trump in Florida and Ohio and force take delegates from him in Illinois, Missouri, and North Carolina. The last three are not winner take all states.

Judge Roy Bean March 11, 2016 at 6:16 pm

“His people?”

That “strategic voting” stuff rarely works and it’s easy to see why.

Some of “Rubios people” in Ohio are for him cause they don’t like Kasich and vice versa in Florida.A lot of people who like Cruz are anti establishment types who simply aren’t going to vote for a Rubio or a Kasich.

That’s a losers game.

Then again, it’s about all they can do at this point.

TroubleBaby March 11, 2016 at 4:06 pm

Yes, it’s true. Neocon’s are now talking 3rd party run too.

Flip March 11, 2016 at 4:49 pm

Now that is more desperate than a 40-year-old virgin.

DionneSLuke March 12, 2016 at 1:49 am

“my .friend’s mate Is getting 98$. HOURLY. on the internet.”….

two days ago new Mc.Laren. F1 bought after earning 18,512$,,,this was my previous month’s paycheck ,and-a little over, 17k$ Last month ..3-5 h/r of work a days ..with extra open doors & weekly. paychecks.. it’s realy the easiest work I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months ago and now making over 87$, p/h.Learn. More right Hereoi!103????? http://GlobalSuperEmploymentVacanciesReportsCity/GetPaid/98$hourly…. .?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:?:::::oi!103…..

Flip March 12, 2016 at 9:59 am

Establishment Republicans might be desperate enough to try this too.

shifty henry March 13, 2016 at 11:07 am

A lawyer married a woman
who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her
new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”

“What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been
married ten times?”

“Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative, he kept telling me how great
it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services, he was never really sure how it was
supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services, he said everything checked out
diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing, even though he knew he had the order, he
didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer, he understood the basic process but wanted three
years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration, he thought he knew how, but he
wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing, although he had a nice product, he was never sure
how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist, all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist, all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector, all he ever did was… God! I miss him! But
now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!”

MashPotato March 11, 2016 at 11:35 pm

I guess that GOP loyalty pledge they made Trump sign last year is a one way street.

Flip March 11, 2016 at 4:50 pm

If Rubio really wanted Cruz to have a chance he would drop out, same with Kasich. Uniting behind Cruz is their strongest bet, but probably isn’t strong enough.

FoneboneBesterTester March 11, 2016 at 3:52 pm

You should have photoshopped a giant turd in the pool.

Sic Semper Tyrannis March 11, 2016 at 3:55 pm

Or just throw in a Baby Ruth bar.

shifty henry March 11, 2016 at 4:43 pm

— is that still being done?

Sic Semper Tyrannis March 11, 2016 at 4:50 pm

Don’t know Shifty. My boss got me real good a month ago. He waited until I left the bathroom and smeared chocolate frosting all over the seat.

shifty henry March 11, 2016 at 5:10 pm


shifty henry March 11, 2016 at 5:17 pm

A good many years ago a large manufacturing company in the midlands began hiring blacks. The whites complained about them sharing the rest room in the shop. The shop was basically a huge covered tunnel with welding, cutting, etc. going on. So the owners built a separate room for the blacks. This also did not meet with the approval of the whites. But they all adjusted to it for several years until —- two women welders were hired! Sooo, the women got the newer black rest room and the black guys now had to share with the white guys. (I’m chuckling at the memory of this story!)

Sic Semper Tyrannis March 11, 2016 at 6:03 pm

Great way to look at things, you NEVER know.

shifty henry March 11, 2016 at 7:53 pm

Is that one of the puzzling photos like Daily Mail posts — like the one above would be “Can you find the shark in the water?”

Bible Thumper March 11, 2016 at 3:57 pm

Rubio has a law degree – apparently he has never taken the bar exam. Having been a Senator and Speaker of the Florida house and a professor, I’m sure he has many lucrative opportunities. Centainly, Rubio has more than for a disgraced former disgraced governor’s press spokesman.

Saul Goodman March 11, 2016 at 4:05 pm

We can use a representative in Florida to help litigate the Sandpiper case-

God knows there no shortage of old people getting screwed there, and that’s Marco’s specialty.

mamatiger92 March 11, 2016 at 4:10 pm

Slippin’ Jimmy could use the help for sure.

mamatiger92 March 11, 2016 at 4:15 pm

Best show on TV right now.

Flip March 11, 2016 at 4:52 pm

Yes indeedy. Poor Kim though. : (

Rocky Verdad March 11, 2016 at 4:20 pm

My Mom needs her lawn mowed.

Bible Thumper March 11, 2016 at 4:21 pm

I might be interested. What does she look like?

Captain Cuckold March 11, 2016 at 5:12 pm

She’s right up your alley. She wears clothes that look like curtains and has been plowed many a time over her life.

Koch Brother"Republican" March 11, 2016 at 4:22 pm

Oh Rubio will be ok.

He’s a favorite of the Koch Brothers and their billionaires network.He pretty much did their bidding in the Senate.(contrary to media efforts to portray him as some kind of “moderate,” There isn’t very much difference between him and Cruz on the major issues,yet Cruz is labeled a “conservative.”)

They’ll take care of him.

Rocky Verdad March 11, 2016 at 4:20 pm

Don’t count them chickens yet. Latest polls seem to have Marcito within about 6 of Trump.

Bible Thumper March 11, 2016 at 4:46 pm

Those jobs only go to H-2b foreign workers like Trump hires at Mar-a-Lago. Mostly from Romania.

Flip March 11, 2016 at 4:54 pm

FITS I doubt they want someone who has his work ethic, I mean Congress is pretty lazy as it is but getting the worst voting record takes dedication to lethargy.

Bible Thumper March 11, 2016 at 4:55 pm

Ronald Reagan got his start as a lifeguard.

Lone Ranger March 11, 2016 at 7:16 pm

Let’s hear it for the all-day suckers and parasites who stepped up to endorse Rubio

Yo…don’t let that door hit you in your flag-ripping RINO rump, Haley…way to…GO !!!

Scooter March 11, 2016 at 9:29 pm

Maybe Haley can help him in Florida, too.

shifty henry March 11, 2016 at 9:39 pm

“Go get ’em, pool boy!”

Just heard the rumor — Marco is holding out for …… ‘Cabana Boy’.

ThreePalms March 12, 2016 at 5:49 am

The ugliness on display throughout the Republican primary is what “take my country back” looks like. The best part for me, so far, was when SC Republicans told the country that they think Trump would make a great President of the United States. What suckers. But I have a feeling that a better episode is yet to come when Republicans tear up the party in an attempt to rid themselves of their nominee, Donald J. Trump. It is as if Little Marco’s Florida performance is resting on the detonator. Do you know how many dumb rednecks live in Florida?

Now, if there was only something we could do about all the shitheads you put in office throughout the state.

TontoBubbaGoldstein March 12, 2016 at 4:02 pm

Donald Trump – POTUS 2016 : “The Art of the Deal”

Carl Spackler – POTUS 2016 : “It’s No Big Deal”


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