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Plot To Kill John Boehner Foiled

DON’T EVERYBODY CRY AT ONCE …  || By FITSNEWS || A bartender who routinely served U.S. Speaker of the House John Boehner at a posh Ohio country club was planning on murdering the “Republican” leader, according to federal agents. Michael Robert Hoyt – a 44-year-old former bartender at Wetherington Country…

DON’T EVERYBODY CRY AT ONCE … 

|| By FITSNEWS || A bartender who routinely served U.S. Speaker of the House John Boehner at a posh Ohio country club was planning on murdering the “Republican” leader, according to federal agents.

Michael Robert Hoyt – a 44-year-old former bartender at Wetherington Country Club in West Chester, Ohio – initially appeared to be upset about losing his job at the exclusive facility.  However his anger quickly manifested itself quite irrationally.

During an interview with the U.S. Capitol Police (USCP) last fall, Hoyt blamed Boehner for being mean to him.  Oh, and for the deadily Ebola virus.

“Hoyt told the (USCP) officer he was Jesus Christ and he was going to kill Boehner because Boehner was mean to him at the country club and because Boehner is responsible for Ebola,” federal agents said. “Hoyt advised he had a loaded Beretta .380 automatic and he was going to shoot Boehner and take off.”

Hoyt also told authorities he regretted not poisoning drinks he served to Boehner – a notorious alcoholic and womanizer.

Meanwhile in an email to Boehner’s long-suffering wife, Debbie Boehner, Hoyt added that “if I had any intention of hurting Mr. Boehner, I could have poisoned his wine at Wetherington many, many times.”

Damn, dude … what stopped you?

Boehner was reelected last week to a third term as leader of the U.S. House of Representatives – despite the fact a majority of voters in his own party are fed up with him.

“We’ve never had much use for Boehner, who has been utterly worthless except for two areas: Capitulating … and getting drunk,” we wrote earlier this month. “Boehner defines accommodation … an ongoing ideological betrayal that always seems to come at the expense of your wallet.  And your liberty.  And it’s not just when the going gets tough … this guy caves before the fights even begin.”

Indeed …

In fact Boehner’s acquiescence was on full display last month when he supported yet another fiscally liberal spending plan – as opposed to passing a short-term resolution and letting the new “Republican-controlled” Congress work out a better budget deal.

Such accommodation is par for the course for Boehner, who has consistently backed Washington’s culture of excessive taxation, spending and borrowing.

Now … does any of that mean he ought to die at the hands of a raving lunatic?

Ummmm …

***

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40 comments

Nölff January 14, 2015 at 10:27 am

The bartender is crazier than a box of frogs, but I can see John Boehner being mean for no reason. The power of the scepter has corrupted him.

Reply
1689 January 14, 2015 at 10:41 am

Boehner is a smart-ass. You can see it in his face with its smirks. You can hear it in his voice. Not to mention his constant frown. Yes, he can be mean and like you, I think for no reason.

Not the guy I want to drink a beer with.

None-the-less, I don’t think any of those faults are capital offenses.

Reply
Flip Coscoe January 14, 2015 at 10:47 am

Obama is a smart-ass. You can see it in his face with its smirks. You can hear it in his voice. Not to mention his constant frown. Yes, he can be mean and like you, I think for no reason.

Not the guy I want to drink a beer with.

None-the-less, I don’t think any of those faults are capital offenses.

Reply
swallow January 14, 2015 at 11:05 am

Why don’t you just blow the guy already? Obsess much?

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Flip Coscoe January 14, 2015 at 11:10 am

Fuck you. I can assure you I am the ONLY one on FITS that has met John and voted for him.

Carry on keyboard pussy.

swallow January 14, 2015 at 11:29 am

Don’t forget to work the balls.

Smirks January 14, 2015 at 7:31 pm

Too busy blowing Ervin probably.

1689 January 14, 2015 at 11:27 am

Should have known. Another effin Ohioan in SC.

Play golf much?

Reply
Flip Coscoe January 14, 2015 at 12:29 pm

John is a great guy. He is getting ready to fuck Obama up.
Boehner pulled the ole ‘rope a dope’ on the ‘closet’ muslim.

swallow January 14, 2015 at 1:04 pm

When you’re kissing up on John, does the orange rub off or is it totally set in?

Smirks January 14, 2015 at 7:31 pm

Smirks is a smart-ass. You can see it in his screenname when he… smirks?

Reply
Nölff January 14, 2015 at 11:28 am

Someone I know personally once told me that I lack empathy; that I’m a sociopath and should stop being rude to people. Am I rude? I think that person’s just a pussy.

Reply
grandtangosuglydog January 14, 2015 at 10:45 am

yeah he definitely can come across as a jerk who feels entitled. All that time in a tanning bed has rotted his mind.

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Classy January 14, 2015 at 10:57 am

“Damn, dude … what stopped you?” Advocating for the death of Boehner.

Love the unity amoungst you Republicans. Primary season should be extra fun next year.

Reply
tomstickler January 14, 2015 at 12:16 pm

Shoulda read this far before posting.

Reply
Smirks January 14, 2015 at 7:29 pm

/r/killthosewhodisagree

And people wonder why Boehner sought “revenge” against his detractors.

Reply
shifty henry January 14, 2015 at 11:19 am

Lil’ Benito would be happy to loan him his personal food taster.

Reply
Tazmaniac January 14, 2015 at 12:27 pm

The speaker of the House goes in to a bar and the bartender says “Whats your poison?”………….

Reply
mamatiger92 January 14, 2015 at 11:20 am

Random observation… Boehner is darker than Obama.

Reply
Flip Coscoe January 14, 2015 at 12:37 pm

Michelle said that Barry got the ‘white’ thing in his ‘jeans’ and that he smells.

Reply
GrandTango January 14, 2015 at 12:44 pm

A- Michelle just ain’t met the right white man if that’s what she thinks. Probably only liberal men – effeminates.

B- She is big woman. The sisters would have sang ” Shelly gotta big ol’ Butt” on the ride home from the basketball games at my HS. So there may be not be much hope for her…

Reply
Flip Coscoe January 14, 2015 at 12:47 pm

LMAO!!!!!!

Reply
The Sisters January 14, 2015 at 6:01 pm

You class act of a bigot, Tango.

Reply
The Sisters January 14, 2015 at 6:02 pm

Right, Merle Haggard really looks like a fem.

Reply
Nölff January 14, 2015 at 12:46 pm

Him and Mitt Romney sometimes.

Reply
TyroneMamaCollards January 14, 2015 at 11:20 am

The bartender should plead insanity due to his mental illness. Boehner doesn’t bother me. He is a hack like everyone else in Washington, out for himself. So what else is new. He will prolly drink himself to death.

Reply
tomstickler January 14, 2015 at 12:15 pm

Ummmm… “Damn, dude…what stopped you?”

Reply
Flip Coscoe January 14, 2015 at 12:30 pm

Nice Tom…threatening the Speaker of the House?

Reply
tomstickler January 14, 2015 at 12:38 pm

Lack of reading comprehension on your part. I was commenting on Will’s apparent approval of the nutso bartender’s threat to poison Boehner’s wine.

BTW, have you licensed your use of Brutus Buckeye as your avatar? It’s been 55 years since I last served Woody Hayes his supper after football practice. Bo Schembechler was still one of his assistants then.

Reply
Flip Coscoe January 14, 2015 at 12:47 pm

No I haven’t however I guess I will change it now that you are threatening me after threatening Boehner.

Served Woody Hayes supper? My ass. I bet you orbited the earth with John Glenn as well.

Reply
tomstickler January 14, 2015 at 1:10 pm

As any student of history can tell you, Glenn orbited solo.

Not only served Woody his supper, but took $1 off another of his assistants, Esco Sarkkinen, when he bet I would not ace 3rd quarter English as a 1st quarter freshman.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esco_Sarkkinen

Flip Coscoe January 14, 2015 at 1:14 pm

Creative writing, huh? :-)

Creative Writing January 14, 2015 at 6:06 pm

You’ve never met me.

Flip Coscoe January 14, 2015 at 1:25 pm

Does this avatar meet your approval?

tomstickler January 14, 2015 at 4:20 pm

As long as the folks at Hutchinson Island, FL do not object, OK by me.

Smirks January 14, 2015 at 7:37 pm

You are a colossal dumbass.

Reply
Flip Coscoe January 14, 2015 at 8:31 pm

I see FITS has your queer ass working 2nd shift and weekends.LMAO!!!
Beat the shit out of ya on 1st shift and they had to move your sorry ‘persona’!!!

Reply
Tazmaniac January 14, 2015 at 12:37 pm

Only a crazy person would tell the Cops he wants John ManTan gone. The sane ones told their Congressman.

Reply
Jack January 14, 2015 at 3:24 pm

I’m betting he is a teanut.

Reply
Smirks January 14, 2015 at 7:36 pm

Could be, but when the voices in your head start telling you to off someone it doesn’t matter what flavor they are anymore.

Reply

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