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“A Very Keckstrom Christmas”



It wouldn’t be Christmas in South Carolina without members of the Palmetto State’s ruling elite acting the fool …

Take “Keckstrom” – which is our name for the always-combustible “relationship” between S.C. Comptroller General Richard Eckstrom and former GOP Superintendent of Education candidate Kelly Payne.

For those of you new to this rodeo of ridiculousness, Eckstrom and Payne are the definition of toxic lovers.  Well, except for the fact their hyper-dramatic on againoff again exploits get played out on the statewide stage.  This star-crossed affair has seen it all – courtroom dramapolice reports, sexually transmitted diseases (allegedly), wedding rings for sale on Craigslist … and most recently, allegations that Eckstrom broke state law by spending campaign money on Payne’s travel to the 2012 Republican National Convention.

That could lead to some serious consequences for the Republican officeholder … (oh right, this is South Carolina – who are we kidding).

Oh well.  Last we heard Eckstrom – who gets so preoccupied with Payne-related drama he often neglects his official duties – was in an “on-again” phase with his often fiancée.  We know this because the two were spotted cozying up to each other last month at S.C. Gov. Nikki Haley’s annual Christmas Tree lighting ceremony on the grounds of the S.C. State House.

Of course the good times … like the bad times … never last for long with these two. “Keckstrom” break-up and make-up with the sort of mechanical precision typically reserved for Swiss watchmakers.

It happened again on Christmas Eve when Payne – a Jersey girl who is known to shed her “kerchief” at the drop of a hat – took to social media to broadcast her latest lover’s quarrel with Eckstrom.

“This is exactly the narcissistic abuse I’ve endured for 5 1/2 years,” Payne wrote, referring to a text message exchange with Eckstrom. “On Christmas Eve of all times too. I should have not even responded to him.”

Accompanying her Facebook post was a screen cap of their exchange, in which the 64-year-old Comptroller tells her “you need a good spanking.”

He then adds, “I’ll volunteer.”

Take a look …

(Click to enlarge)


Good times, right?

In true Charlie Brown fashion Payne’s loyal army of Facebook friends – which mourns each breakup and toasts each make-up with an abundance of exclamation points – sprung to her defense.

“I hope the abuse from that sick twisted child wanna be man stops soon!” one writes.

“It better,” Payne replies. “I will not be silent anymore.  He’s going to be called out until he stops.”

Payne then publicly identifies Eckstrom as her “abuser,” and later asks her followers to “not vote for him again.”

Take a look …

(Click to enlarge)


Wow …

Somebody warm up the chesnuts and cue Nat King Cole, right?  Right …

Anybody wanna guess how this ends?  Because our money is on another “make-up” before the year is out.

“The only way this cycle will ever break? When one of these loons crosses the line from bat sh*t crazy to homicidal crazy … a line we’re guessing gets a little closer with every passing day,” we wrote recently of these star-crossed lunatics.

Tick-tock, tick-tock …

Oh well.  Merry Christmas to all of us South Carolinians from “Keckstrom.” They truly are the gift that keeps giving …