Ted Cruz Got God-Fondled, Too

We posted an item recently about U.S. Sen. Tim Scott getting “God-fondled” by a bunch of social conservatives affiliated with the American Renewal Project – a pro-Christian, pro-Israel advocacy group. One of the fondlers? Former SCGOP chariman Chad Connelly – the ex-Amway salesman we were duped into endorsing back when we cared…

We posted an item recently about U.S. Sen. Tim Scott getting “God-fondled” by a bunch of social conservatives affiliated with the American Renewal Project – a pro-Christian, pro-Israel advocacy group.

One of the fondlers? Former SCGOP chariman Chad Connelly – the ex-Amway salesman we were duped into endorsing back when we cared about who ran the so-called “Republican” party in South Carolina.

Anyway … it turns out Scott wasn’t the only politician who got the personal touch from The Almighty. U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) – the undisputed fiscal conservative hero of the Obamacare debate and a leading 2016 presidential candidate – also got loved up on by Connelly and his God Squad.

And while the picture wasn’t quite as Falwellesque as Scott’s … it’s still just a touch too close to snake handling and speaking in tongues for our tastes.

As we noted in assessing Scott’s “prayer-a-palooza,” we’re all for free religious expression. Its as unambiguous and inalienable a right as there is – and it doesn’t stop once you get elected to higher office.

We just think these sorts of displays – in addition to being politically inadvisable – run counter to the way Christians are told to pray (i.e. “in secret,” as commanded by Christ in the Sermon on the Mount).

Obviously Scott, Cruz and numerous other politicians disagree with us on that score …


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Gregory Geddings November 21, 2013 at 8:19 am

Snake handlers? Nothing but a bunch of phony putzes. They starve those snakes and don’t give them water…way too stressed out to bite regularly.

Instead of messing with them little bitty snakes why don’t they try swinging around an 18 foot anaconda? You sure as hell don’t see them doin’ any baptism ceremonies in the Everglades!

jimlewisowb November 21, 2013 at 8:26 am

Never cared much for individuals who wear their religion on their shirt sleeve

I never put myself out there as my friend Willie Stroker, a Baptist from Pocotaligo, South Carolina, he likes to ride whores

GrandTango November 21, 2013 at 8:33 am

FITS STFU, you insufferable idiot.

Up to Nov. 2012, your god and savior Obama was lying about everything from unemployment numbers and the economy to Obamacare and global warming. And your ignorant @$$ was busy bashing Romney. No w look what we’re finding out. (even though I told you simple-minded dolts all along.

So, I have a lot of problem with a worthless piece of $#!* like you trying to pass judgment on anyone.

You attack Christians, Conservatives, and the decent, in you assault on America. Somebody needs to kick your stupid @$$ back to the hole you snuck out of, so you’ll figure out what a F*#king and Complete Dumb@$$ you are for running your uneducated mouth…

Smirks November 21, 2013 at 8:49 am

PRAISE the Lord Obama! And Barack is his name! Tidings of Kenyan Socialism be upon you, my brother! Whosoever votes for him shall not perish, but shall have everlasting hope and change! Behold his disciples, Adolph and Mao, Karl and Joseph! The church of liberalism accepts all! Drink thee of this Starbucks mocha latte in remembrance of Him! The wages of conservatism is death! Let not Cruz nor Romney nor Ryan nor Rand lead thou into temptation! Lord Obama goes to prepare a place for thee! Thou shalt keep his commandments in the Holy DNC Talking Points! Thou shalt pray towards D.C. five times a day and make a pilgrimage to Chicago!

This is what GrandTango actually believes.

Nölff November 21, 2013 at 8:50 am

GrandTango has cooties and uses feminine deodorant.

FudgePackerAtChocolateMonkey November 21, 2013 at 10:27 am

That feminine deodorant he uses makes me so damn horney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FudgePackerAtChocolateMonkey November 21, 2013 at 10:25 am

Tango, when are you going to settle down so we can get married? As much as I enjoy you sucking the santorum out of my ass and as much as you enjoy doing it, why don’t we just make it legal? Gay marriage is legal in several states now so let’s just do it.

GrandTango November 21, 2013 at 1:06 pm

On queue: the liberal posse (of pu*^$ies) becomes immediately enraged as their leftwing idol gets the $#!* slapped out of him…

Nölff November 21, 2013 at 1:34 pm

Where’s my Gilmore Girls box set I let you borrow? I want it back!

Smirks November 21, 2013 at 8:40 am

But, if you don’t make a big spectacle out of every time you pray, how will people know you’re holier than them?

Hippo Critters November 21, 2013 at 8:52 am

Jesus, it’s look like a damn revival. Disgusting.

jurisdoc November 21, 2013 at 9:03 am

Chad Connelly is the creepiest, smarmiest SOB I’ve ever seen. While he was off being holier than thou, his poor wife was at home killing herself (and had tried and/or threatened before). Guess the pressure of being the perfect christian wife (with an extra emphasis on OBEY in those vows) was too much…. and I guess the prayers didn’t quite do enough to stop it.

The fact that the SC GOP voted this prick to lead them says all that you need to know.

I very seldom say that someone has any blame in another’s suicide, but here…..

Ugh November 21, 2013 at 9:41 am

“The boys saw something they never should have seen. I tried to hold them back as much as I could,” Connelly says, suppressing tears. “It was a gut kick, an absolutely harsh, brutal scene that feels like TV but you’re living it.”

“For months, he’d grieve in anger. How could she do this? Connelly and Michelle had started a successful Amway business and traveled across the world for business engagements.”


Traveling across the world for Amway……yeah. I guess the success was too much for her.

Most Amway people creep me out big time. They are the type of people that use their friends by selling them shit they could get at Walmart for 75% of the the price and are always trying to get everyone around them on board for their personal Ponzi scheme.

Most of these people drip slime and are phoney as hell. The few that aren’t that way are the dupes losing their money until they smarten up and get out.

What a perfect leader for the GOP.

Ugeb November 21, 2013 at 1:50 pm

You’re making light of children seeing their mother die. I hope you rot in hell.

This is making light November 21, 2013 at 3:05 pm

Maybe you should pray to Jesus for that.

Cal November 21, 2013 at 1:42 pm

Ugh and jurisdoc – you two are sick freaks. Clearly you’ve never experienced the suicide of a family member. I hope you don’t have kids. The world doesn’t need kids raised by such callous individuals.

Jurisdoc November 22, 2013 at 6:30 am

No kids for me. Not callous either, just commenting on this prick. Ask his fellow church members, they’ll tell you the sam.

southmauldin November 21, 2013 at 9:18 am

Will, looks like you get duped quite often with candidates. I’ve only been duped once – I was looking forward to a certain tell-all book dealing with the shenanigans of SC politicians.

Halfvast Conspirator November 21, 2013 at 9:35 am

The carpet covering that lectern where that dude has his hand raised looks like it came out of his 69 Ford Econoline van, the one he uses to give rides home to the cub scouts he “mentors.” Them boys ain’t right.

EJB November 21, 2013 at 9:41 am

“God-Fondled”, “snake handlers” – I see what you did there!

Columbia PD November 21, 2013 at 10:39 am

There is no god. Jesus, if he existed, was just a bad smelling middle eastern dude. Zeus was made-up, as is Yahweh, and the rest of the false “gods” that mankind has invented during the sordid history of homo sapiens. Christianity and Islam are evil institutions. Oh, and the Earth is more than 8000 years old. Lots older.

FondleMyPeanuts November 21, 2013 at 1:44 pm

Those people who run Blow Job University, I mean Bob Jones University, are gonna personally send you to the Gates of Hell.

Laugh with the sinners November 21, 2013 at 3:07 pm

If it meant I wouldn’t have to spend my personal time around them in heaven, I’d willingly go.

idcydm November 21, 2013 at 10:49 am

It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. ~Thomas Jefferson

nitrat November 21, 2013 at 3:56 pm

He obviously did not know the 20th century GOP Christianists.
They do the country a hell of a lot of injury.

Manray November 21, 2013 at 10:50 am

“…politically inadvisable?” In South Carolina? That’s what the SC GOP is all about — pandering to the ignorant and credulous.

SexLiesVideotape November 21, 2013 at 1:42 pm

all the while the GOP guv denies Medicaid coverage for thousands of South Carolinians. Haley says the cost of expansion would be too great for South Carolina despite the fact that the federal government will pay the lion’s share.

Gotta love these Christian Republicans who kick the poor and the needy right in the teeth.

Having sex with your mother November 21, 2013 at 3:06 pm

If you can afford a computer and the internet, that means you have money we need to feed hungry people. I’ll be right over to come get it.

euwe max November 21, 2013 at 10:54 am

Carnival Cruz – (c) MD.

idcydm November 21, 2013 at 11:24 am

It’s funny watching believers and nonbelievers try to out believe and out nonbelieve each other.

Todd November 21, 2013 at 11:30 am

Did you forget to mention he is the only half-Hispanic Canadian running for President? I.E. not a natural born US Citizen.

Vanguard16 November 21, 2013 at 12:42 pm

Ted and his Dad need to get back on their refrigerator box and float back to Cuba!

CheckYurFactsBubba November 21, 2013 at 1:49 pm

Cruz is NOT an American.

GrandTango November 21, 2013 at 1:03 pm

Who else would love to see FITS and Ted Cruz in a street fight, and Cruz beat the living F*#k out of sissy-punk FITS…

FITS you’re an effeminate little imitation of a real person….Cruz tells the truth, and has to suffer stupid and uneducated filth-bags like you. If you had one-tenth the courage he had, you could rise out of the feces ingestion you regularly display….

Sissy Boy November 21, 2013 at 5:19 pm

You wanna meet up, GT? Snce you’re gettng all macho and shit. Come on, this fag will knock you out.

GrandTango November 22, 2013 at 10:25 am

Funny how you leftwing pacifists indict the US military for engaging in violence during WAR…yet you immediately want to attack and brutalize others when they defend against your corruption……

Remember: Cruz was brought up with an understanding of how to fight Communists for his life. You were raised by communists who told us that a government take-over with lawyers and words does not arouse suspicions.

Now that we’ve figured you out…you might better hide and STFU…because I doubt you understand what we’ll do to keep our country from NAZIs and cowards like you…

Trying to mimic me is one thing. backing it up may be something you are not prepared or equipped to do.

Sissy Boy November 24, 2013 at 1:59 pm

I was raised by Communists? Try Full Gospel backwood country fucks. That’s who raised me, but thank the almighty lord I was too smart for myths and fables. Lol!

GrandTango November 24, 2013 at 3:32 pm

So you bow in worship of the failed and dangerous Obama, but flush your own flesh and blood, who sacrificed to raise your sorry liberal @$$…

Liberals with suck the D!*k of leftwing gods, because the media tells the ignorant what to do…but liberals think themselves SO smart to put down their family. What an ungrateful piece of $#!* you are…When Obama rapes your stupid @$$, and leaves you starving…I bet that family you are Bashing now, as the media applauds, is where your dumb@$$ will beg….

Sissy Boy November 24, 2013 at 4:01 pm

You’re hopelessly stupid. Just because I grew up with ignorant parents doesn’t mean I don’t love them. At least I have been able over the past 40 years to teach them what bigots they were. Secondly, Obama is a moderate, hasn’t really done shit for gay rights, still hasn’t pulled us out of war, but goddamn, at least he isn’t Santorum, Cruz, or a hateful cunt like Coulter that the likes of you so easily digest. You make wilder statements than Rush. You need a radio show?

GrandTango November 24, 2013 at 4:43 pm

You call Obama a moderate, and then you attack your parents as ignorant…You need to move to North Korea, and see what it’s like to get the government you deserve…….They’d kill your dumb @$$ the first time you ran your uneducated mouth …

YOU are why this country is so F#*ked up. The biggest dumb@$$#$ ever, like you, are choosing the president. I’d love to slap the living p!$$ out of your ignorant @$$ just for the damage the terminally stupid have already done.

God help us if we don’t turn back you stupid b@$t@$ds pretty soon. We cannot afford your ignorance any longer…

Sissy Boy November 24, 2013 at 6:24 pm

I would LOVE you to try and slap me old man. Can that ticker handle an ass beating?

Barry Goldwater was right about religious nuts coming into the GOP. You can’t reason nor argue with zealots. Remember that old ad about frosting a cake with a paper knife? L-O-fucking-L!!

GrandTango November 24, 2013 at 7:09 pm

I’m probably younger and likely healthier than you, you ingrate stupid F#@k…
Just because I’m so much more wise, and you’re s simple-minded dumb@$$, don’t assume I’m older, you idiot….

Sissy Boy November 24, 2013 at 11:37 pm

Brng it, bitch! i’ll meet you anytime. Thing is, I don’t care if my ass gets kicked..but you’ll fucking bleed too. Don’t think for a minute I’m not dangerous; I grew up with country fucks, remember? Now, PUSSY, your turn. I’m will show up. Gloves or bare nuckles, I’ll be there.

GrandTango November 25, 2013 at 8:08 am

Typical bigoted, hate-filled liberal. You react w/ violence when your @$$ gets kicked by reason and logic.

But remember: I’m not a girl. So many of you (Baldwin, Browne, Sheen) are big, bad brutes beating up women.

I’m an American and I’m infuriated at what pieces of $#!* like you have done to my country….I get very little opportunity to express my outrage. There is little or no voice for people like us. If I were to get a shot at expressing myself toward you, I’d beat the F#*^ out of your uneducated, politically dangerous @$$…

You’d be fighting for the right to impose your hate and immorality on me. I’d fight for my family, freedom and decency…My cause ALWAYS beats yours…(see Slavery, NAZIs, Communists.)

Dictators are on the wrong side of history, and are made to pay for it when put up against the forces of right. You’d be no different…

Sissy Boy November 25, 2013 at 10:34 am

Hahaha! Reason and logic…yeah, where did you hide those attributes in your following rants? Reason and logic tell me there is no invisable man in the sky…also tells me your hung up on cock sucking since you keep bringing it up. Do you even read the shit you post?

SexLiesVideotape November 21, 2013 at 1:32 pm

Did anyone get his “peanuts” fondled?

nitrat November 21, 2013 at 3:53 pm

Cruz is of the Dominion ilk/cult of Michelle Bachmann craziness.
Everything he does is because God tells him to do it…just like last years GOP primaries crowd.
Do not a one of them wonder about the implications of “render unto Caesar” and “My kingdom is not of this world” or are they just stupid?


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