SC

Stephen Colbert Responds To His Sister’s Defeat

Comedy Central faux conservative comedian Stephen Colbert was an active participant in his sister Elizabeth Colbert-Busch’s failed congressional campaign – lending his star power and fundraising prowess to her unsuccessful bid to defeat former S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford in South Carolina’s first congressional district. How is he taking her surprisingly…

Comedy Central faux conservative comedian Stephen Colbert was an active participant in his sister Elizabeth Colbert-Busch’s failed congressional campaign – lending his star power and fundraising prowess to her unsuccessful bid to defeat former S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford in South Carolina’s first congressional district.

How is he taking her surprisingly lopsided loss?

“I gotta tell you, tonight I am angry, and for once that doesn’t make me happy,” the South Carolina native said on his show, The Colbert Report. “And I think you know why. My sister lost!”

“How could this have happened?” Colbert wondered aloud. “I was so sure Lulu had won because CNN called it for Sanford. But the voters – what can I say – the voters of South Carolina have spoken. Mark Sanford beat my sister. And I believe that means Mark Sanford is now my sister. And on behalf of my entire family I want to say we’re deeply sorry about him – now I know how Kevin Manson must have felt.”

Colbert goes on to say he “feels so betrayed by South Carolina” and that if the Palmetto State is going to turn its back on his family – he’s going to turn his back “on them.”

“From now on – and I never thought I would ever say this – I am from North Carolina,” he says. “I’m a Tar Heel now – whatever the fuck that means.”

The comedian then thumbs through a North Carolina fact book to acquaint himself with his new state’s symbols – including the state bird: The Cardinal.

“That’s a stupid bird, but it’s mine now and I love it as much as our state dog … the, uhhhhh, Plott hound,” he jokes.

“Most shockingly I will now no longer enjoy South Carolina’s tangy, savory, juicy, and deeply delicious barbecue made with our unique mustard-based sauce,” he says.  “Now I officially love North Carolina’s sauceless vinger-based meat product that they call barbecue.”

Enjoy …

(Click to play)

Colbert also uses his routine to poke fun at the dirty politics that played a role in his sister’s defeat.

“I saw firsthand how her opponent smeared her with outrageous accusations that I knew to be untrue,” he said. “And that has made me wonder if other campaigns have done this as well.”

“I mean, is it possible that John McCain doesn’t have an illegitimate black child?” Colbert continues. “And does that mean Meghan McCain is white? I don’t know what to believe anymore!”

Lots of people were wondering how Colbert would respond to his sister’s defeat, and we gotta say … dude hit it out of the park. Also it’s worth noting that Colbert-Busch’s defeat isn’t necessarily bad news for the comedian.

After all, he’s got Mark Sanford providing his show with regular material again …

***

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112 comments

Tom FooleryCartoons May 9, 2013 at 9:28 am

As a Political Cartoonist in SC, I tried my best to show Sanford for the dolt he is, but, the voters held their noses and voted to keep the seat Republican. Sheesh!

Reply
Lisa May 9, 2013 at 9:49 am

Maybe you are the dolt besides being rather talentless.

Reply
shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 9:57 am

Please post a cartoon here for us…..

Reply
Smirks May 9, 2013 at 10:56 am

Seconded.

Reply
Tom FooleryCartoons May 9, 2013 at 9:28 am

As a Political Cartoonist in SC, I tried my best to show Sanford for the dolt he is, but, the voters held their noses and voted to keep the seat Republican. Sheesh!

Reply
Lisa May 9, 2013 at 9:49 am

Maybe you are the dolt besides being rather talentless.

Reply
shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 9:57 am

Please post a cartoon here for us…..

Reply
Smirks May 9, 2013 at 10:56 am

Seconded.

Reply
Casual Cat May 9, 2013 at 9:38 am

Oh really “Colbear”?? So I guess you’ll be selling your oceanfront home on Sullivans Island soon?? You know….the classic beach cottage that you tore down and turned into another cliche’d view blocking mansion? Go roll your boat on wheels to the beach somewhere else pompous asshole! yep, even your celebrity and Pelosi’s money couldn’t make your sister a viable candidate. The good Lord and his sons’ will be the ultimate judge of Representive Sanford’s character and worth in this life. If all is well with their relationship, He can rightfully tell his you, your sister, his jaded, bitter ex-wife and the self righteous members of his constituency to kiss his white ass. He won because he was the better Candidate, not a perfect person. neither are you. Good riddance!

Reply
tomstickler May 9, 2013 at 10:00 am

This meets Churchill’s standard of “insufferable in victory.”

Reply
Thomas Wilson May 9, 2013 at 10:04 am

You really don’t quite get “comedy” do you?

Reply
Thomas Wilson May 9, 2013 at 10:05 am

Oh, and Sanford won because he made it all about Nancy Pelosi. But I will give anyone $100 if they can prove that Pelosi gave ECB so much as a dime.

Reply
Trenchards Inlet May 9, 2013 at 12:09 pm

Democrat Majority PAC – wholly controlled by the former Speaker – gave a lot of $ and ran a lot of ads. Send me my hundred now.

Reply
Buz Martin May 9, 2013 at 11:24 am

Dude may be a bit of hypocrite, but he’s still funny as fuck. I second the comment above from Casual Cat.

Reply
Southman3 May 9, 2013 at 2:21 pm

Did you even watch the video clip?
Dumbass

Reply
Casual Cat May 9, 2013 at 9:38 am

Oh really “Colbear”?? So I guess you’ll be selling your oceanfront home on Sullivans Island soon?? You know….the classic beach cottage that you tore down and turned into another cliche’d view blocking mansion? Go roll your boat on wheels to the beach somewhere else pompous asshole! yep, even your celebrity and Pelosi’s money couldn’t make your sister a viable candidate. The good Lord and his sons’ will be the ultimate judge of Representive Sanford’s character and worth in this life. If all is well with their relationship, He can rightfully tell his you, your sister, his jaded, bitter ex-wife and the self righteous members of his constituency to kiss his white ass. He won because he was the better Candidate, not a perfect person. neither are you. Good riddance!

Reply
tomstickler May 9, 2013 at 10:00 am

This meets Churchill’s standard of “insufferable in victory.”

Reply
Thomas Wilson May 9, 2013 at 10:04 am

You really don’t quite get “comedy” do you?

Reply
Thomas Wilson May 9, 2013 at 10:05 am

Oh, and Sanford won because he made it all about Nancy Pelosi. But I will give anyone $100 if they can prove that Pelosi gave ECB so much as a dime.

Reply
Trenchards Inlet May 9, 2013 at 12:09 pm

Democrat Majority PAC – wholly controlled by the former Speaker – gave a lot of $ and ran a lot of ads. Send me my hundred now.

Reply
Boz Martin May 9, 2013 at 11:24 am

Dude may be a bit of hypocrite, but he’s still funny as fuck. I second the comment above from Casual Cat.

Reply
Southman3 May 9, 2013 at 2:21 pm

Did you even watch the video clip?
Dumbass

Reply
folk hero fodder May 9, 2013 at 9:52 am

When Sanford recognized in the 90’s that Clinton could get away with it because he had a reputation as a rascal, it became a teachable moment. Now Sanford knows that he too can get away with just about anything post scandal because he is SC’s quirky, God loves a reformed reprobate, a fungible, multi-flawed man, eccentric. Brilliant for him, not so much the voter who wants integrity and accountable representation, or a family who still feels the hurt.

Reply
The Colbert Group May 9, 2013 at 1:57 pm

Yep, “Slick Willie” skated away ith his liaison with Monica, except for the spunk stained blue dress.

Bet Rich Eckstrom and Kelly Payne feel better about their salacious and perverted affair, carried out on State time, with the State’s dime.

Bob Peeler and Donna Gulage must find solace in their sickening pube bumping and pathetic attempt to destroy their spouses, in order to justify and excuse their waste of tax payer money funded rubbing together of the uglies.

Sanfords redemption, I feel will be short lived when given suffecient time to feel comfortable in his new government tit sucking position and steps on his miniscule penis—-again!

Reply
Marie Harrison May 9, 2013 at 3:30 pm

Well, he does have thin thumbs. Always look at the thumbs.

Reply
folk hero fodder May 9, 2013 at 9:52 am

When Sanford recognized in the 90’s that Clinton could get away with it because he had a reputation as a rascal, it became a teachable moment. Now Sanford knows that he too can get away with just about anything post scandal because he is SC’s quirky, God loves a reformed reprobate, a fungible, multi-flawed man, eccentric. Brilliant for him, not so much the voter who wants integrity and accountable representation, or a family who still feels the hurt.

Reply
The Colbert Group May 9, 2013 at 1:57 pm

Yep, “Slick Willie” skated away ith his liaison with Monica, except for the spunk stained blue dress.

Bet Rich Eckstrom and Kelly Payne feel better about their salacious and perverted affair, carried out on State time, with the State’s dime.

Bob Peeler and Donna Gulage must find solace in their sickening pube bumping and pathetic attempt to destroy their spouses, in order to justify and excuse their waste of tax payer money funded rubbing together of the uglies.

Sanfords redemption, I feel will be short lived when given suffecient time to feel comfortable in his new government tit sucking position and steps on his miniscule penis—-again!

Reply
Marie Harrison May 9, 2013 at 3:30 pm

Well, he does have thin thumbs. Always look at the thumbs.

Reply
You know me May 9, 2013 at 9:55 am

The voters have spoken. They wanted a wrinkled, balding, self-serving douche bag. The power of R.

Reply
Who Are You May 9, 2013 at 10:02 am

ECB is balding?

Reply
Marie Harrison May 9, 2013 at 1:03 pm

No, siily…Marshall.

Reply
Elfego May 9, 2013 at 10:13 am

You have nerve,The only thing lower than a Democrat is whale dung and it is on the bottom of the ocean! I mean that most sincerely.

Reply
surfer, the web, that is May 9, 2013 at 4:46 pm

So you will be one of those buffoons who votes Haley in 2014?

Reply
Elfego May 9, 2013 at 5:33 pm

It will depend on who runs. You can rest assured I will never vote for a Democrat. I wish you would not mention your family members in our conversation.

Reply
Smirks May 9, 2013 at 10:57 am

The voters have spoken. They wanted a wrinkled, balding, self-serving douche bag.

No shit, have you seen the state legislature?

Reply
You know me May 9, 2013 at 9:55 am

The voters have spoken. They wanted a wrinkled, balding, self-serving douche bag. The power of R.

Reply
Who Are You May 9, 2013 at 10:02 am

ECB is balding?

Reply
Marie Harrison May 9, 2013 at 1:03 pm

No, siily…Marshall.

Reply
Elfego May 9, 2013 at 10:13 am

You have nerve,The only thing lower than a Democrat is whale dung and it is on the bottom of the ocean! I mean that most sincerely.

Reply
surfer, the web, that is May 9, 2013 at 4:46 pm

So you will be one of those buffoons who votes Haley in 2014?

Reply
Elfego May 9, 2013 at 5:33 pm

It will depend on who runs. You can rest assured I will never vote for a Democrat. I wish you would not mention your family members in our conversation.

Reply
Smirks May 9, 2013 at 10:57 am

The voters have spoken. They wanted a wrinkled, balding, self-serving douche bag.

No shit, have you seen the state legislature?

Reply
Marie Harrison May 9, 2013 at 10:03 am

Can you imagine how many more votes Mark would have gotten if he had dished about the China trip and the first class seating arrangements?

Reply
Marie Harrison May 9, 2013 at 10:03 am

Can you imagine how many more votes Mark would have gotten if he had dished about the China trip and the first class seating arrangements?

Reply
jimlewisowb May 9, 2013 at 10:19 am

Dear Shifty
Hope this one will work for you

Reply
casual cat May 9, 2013 at 10:35 am

awesome! “gypsy”…hahaha

Reply
You know me May 9, 2013 at 4:44 pm

True. The gypsies originated in Northern India and spread throughout the middle east and Europe, then throughout the world. They were not known for their honesty. They gained the reputation as thieves and pickpockets. As for the gypsy scarves, it is thought that after the gypsies left N. Inida and traveled through the Middle East, they picked up some of the traditions.

Reply
shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 10:39 am

Another classic—-is this what is called “Sarcasm”?

Reply
scsince60 May 10, 2013 at 2:34 pm

…….”Without “their” realizing it”. Or maybe the bad grammar is the joke?

Reply
Soft Sigh from Hell May 10, 2013 at 2:40 pm

So commonly used that way now that it is essentially acceptable as standard, much like “their” after a singular pronoun.

Reply
scsince60 May 10, 2013 at 10:21 pm

Exactly. Can you imagine a teacher asking the class if everyone has “his” homework? He’d be fired on the spot and sent to sensitivity camp!

shifty henry May 10, 2013 at 4:53 pm

I think you replied to the wrong post. It’s ok, it happens often and sometimes it turns out to be funny! I’ve done it a couple of times.

Reply
shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 2:32 pm

Oh, so you’re the guy who stole my Gypsy from me! It’s ok, because the expiration date for jealousy has passed. Before she left, she did introduce me to her Aunt Madame Palm and her five dancing daughters.

Reply
jimlewisowb May 9, 2013 at 10:19 am

Dear Shifty
Hope this one will work for you

Reply
casual cat May 9, 2013 at 10:35 am

awesome! “gypsy”…hahaha

Reply
You know me May 9, 2013 at 4:44 pm

True. The gypsies originated in Northern India and spread throughout the middle east and Europe, then throughout the world. They were not known for their honesty. They gained the reputation as thieves and pickpockets. As for the gypsy scarves, it is thought that after the gypsies left N. Inida and traveled through the Middle East, they picked up some of the traditions.

Reply
shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 10:39 am

Another classic—-is this what is called “Sarcasm”?

Reply
scsince60 May 10, 2013 at 2:34 pm

…….”Without “their” realizing it”. Or maybe the bad grammar is the joke?

Reply
Soft Sigh from Hell May 10, 2013 at 2:40 pm

So commonly used that way now that it is essentially acceptable as standard, much like “their” after a singular pronoun.

Reply
scsince60 May 10, 2013 at 10:21 pm

Exactly. Can you imagine a teacher asking the class if everyone has “his” homework? He’d be fired on the spot and sent to sensitivity camp!

shifty henry May 10, 2013 at 4:53 pm

I think you replied to the wrong post. It’s ok, it happens often and sometimes it turns out to be funny! I’ve done it a couple of times.

Reply
shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 2:32 pm

Oh, so you’re the guy who stole my Gypsy from me! It’s ok, because the expiration date for jealousy has passed. Before she left, she did introduce me to her Aunt Madame Palme and her five dancing daughters.

Reply
shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 11:20 am

The Colbert family is proud of Stevie’s change in attitude towards his sister Liza. They were particularly concerned about his developing sense of humor.

Reply
shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 11:20 am

The Colbert family is proud of Stevie’s change in attitude towards his sister Liza. They were particularly concerned about his developing sense of humor.

Reply
Crooner May 9, 2013 at 11:54 am

I agree with Colbert. NC vinegar based BBQ is better.

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein May 9, 2013 at 12:25 pm

As Earl Dukes as my witness, how in the dickens did you get that Colbert thinks NC vinegar based “sauceless vinger-based meat product that they call barbecue.” is better than “South Carolina’s tangy, savory, juicy, and deeply delicious barbecue made with our unique mustard-based sauce”??

Reply
9" May 9, 2013 at 2:48 pm

right on.wanna go to hite’s tomorrow? they have big sausages,too

Reply
shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 12:29 pm

—- mustard based at Maurice’s

Reply
Sam May 9, 2013 at 1:06 pm

For those of you who have never tried the saucy chick sandwich at Maurices, it is the best thing on the menu. Even Steven would agree. Try it once, you’ll never forget it. It’s OMG good.

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein May 9, 2013 at 1:33 pm

That’s what she said…… ; )

Reply
A Humble Chef May 9, 2013 at 1:47 pm

By she you mean Candace?

shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 1:41 pm

— the bbq or Candace? I’ve eaten the bbq.

Reply
You know me May 9, 2013 at 3:34 pm

The bbq chicken sandwich. Candace, not so much.

Ezekiel May 9, 2013 at 2:43 pm

Check it out:

http://top100bbq.com/

Reply
9" May 9, 2013 at 6:13 pm

(Bullshit.That, True Barbecue has been heavily hyped but the worst I’ve ever eaten.They cook it on those shitty metal can things or whatever the fuck they are,and it tastes like you’re cleaning the grill with your tongue.Sweatman’s is decent but so salty,you might stroke out.Same with Shealy’s.HITE’S IS THE &&%%^ best you F**(((NG LIBERAL M*&&**((((*FU&&^^&&

Reply
Mustard Man May 9, 2013 at 8:02 pm

So, you wash dishes or wait tables?

Darth May 10, 2013 at 9:49 am

Does Hite’s have any chickens left today? I gotta but two or three, One vanishes on the road home from Dreher Road…

Bessinger's Rules May 9, 2013 at 1:10 pm

You sir may leave the state also

Reply
9" May 9, 2013 at 2:53 pm

Hite’s ! Bessinger’s sucks!

Reply
John Clark May 9, 2013 at 8:34 pm

Well thats nice, just head on back up to NC and eat your smithfields.

Reply
Jan May 10, 2013 at 10:02 am

You obviously did not watch the segment.

Reply
Crooner May 9, 2013 at 11:54 am

I agree with Colbert. NC vinegar based BBQ is better.

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein May 9, 2013 at 12:25 pm

As Earl Dukes as my witness, how in the dickens did you get that Colbert thinks NC vinegar based “sauceless vinger-based meat product that they call barbecue.” is better than “South Carolina’s tangy, savory, juicy, and deeply delicious barbecue made with our unique mustard-based sauce”??

Reply
9" May 9, 2013 at 2:48 pm

right on.wanna go to hite’s tomorrow? they have big sausages,too

Reply
shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 12:29 pm

—- mustard based at Maurice’s

Reply
Sam May 9, 2013 at 1:06 pm

For those of you who have never tried the saucy chick sandwich at Maurices, it is the best thing on the menu. Even Steven would agree. Try it once, you’ll never forget it. It’s OMG good.

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein May 9, 2013 at 1:33 pm

That’s what she said…… ; )

Reply
A Humble Chef May 9, 2013 at 1:47 pm

By she you mean Candace?

shifty henry May 9, 2013 at 1:41 pm

— the bbq or Candace? I’ve eaten the bbq.

Reply
You know me May 9, 2013 at 3:34 pm

The bbq chicken sandwich. Candace, not so much.

Ezekiel May 9, 2013 at 2:43 pm

Check it out:

http://top100bbq.com/

Reply
9" May 9, 2013 at 6:13 pm

(Bullshit.That, True Barbecue has been heavily hyped but the worst I’ve ever eaten.They cook it on those shitty metal can things or whatever the fuck they are,and it tastes like you’re cleaning the grill with your tongue.Sweatman’s is decent but so salty,you might stroke out.Same with Shealy’s.HITE’S IS THE &&%%^ best you F**(((NG LIBERAL M*&&**((((*FU&&^^&&

Reply
Mustard Man May 9, 2013 at 8:02 pm

So, you wash dishes or wait tables?

Darth May 10, 2013 at 9:49 am

Does Hite’s have any chickens left today? I gotta but two or three, One vanishes on the road home from Dreher Road…

Bessinger's Rules May 9, 2013 at 1:10 pm

You sir may leave the state also

Reply
9" May 9, 2013 at 2:53 pm

Hite’s ! Bessinger’s sucks!

Reply
John Clark May 9, 2013 at 8:34 pm

Well thats nice, just head on back up to NC and eat your smithfields.

Reply
Jan May 10, 2013 at 10:02 am

You obviously did not watch the segment.

Reply
dooly davis May 9, 2013 at 2:33 pm

Love Stephen Colbert, but you have to have a sense of humor to get him. Not everyone on this thread has one.

Reply
A Friend May 9, 2013 at 4:01 pm

That’s painfully obvious.

Reply
Jan May 10, 2013 at 10:01 am

You also have to have a brain. Thats also a problem here.

Reply
dooly davis May 9, 2013 at 2:33 pm

Love Stephen Colbert, but you have to have a sense of humor to get him. Not everyone on this thread has one.

Reply
A Friend May 9, 2013 at 4:01 pm

That’s painfully obvious.

Reply
Jan May 10, 2013 at 10:01 am

You also have to have a brain. Thats also a problem here.

Reply
A Friend May 9, 2013 at 4:00 pm

Great bit! Especially the BBQ part.

Reply
A Friend May 9, 2013 at 4:00 pm

Great bit! Especially the BBQ part.

Reply
Oh No You Di Uh! May 9, 2013 at 8:32 pm

Why is he moving to NC? They don’t have gay marriage there either.

Reply
Oh No You Di Uh! May 9, 2013 at 8:32 pm

Why is he moving to NC? They don’t have gay marriage there either.

Reply
Manray9 May 10, 2013 at 8:42 am

Sanford and SC have provided more fodder for comedians. I wonder how long before Sanford goes hiking again — or something else?

Reply
Manray9 May 10, 2013 at 8:42 am

Sanford and SC have provided more fodder for comedians. I wonder how long before Sanford goes hiking again — or something else?

Reply
Darth May 10, 2013 at 9:53 am

Aww, the pouting elitist Porter Gaud grads are sore losers! What a spin-off for Myrtle Manor’s trailer trash to have limo lefties exposed as the same white trash…
Wil, you wanna be a big time TV producer or do we let Extreme (H)Akim (Anastapoulis) steal the idea?

Reply
Darth May 10, 2013 at 9:53 am

Aww, the pouting elitist Porter Gaud grads are sore losers! What a spin-off for Myrtle Manor’s trailer trash to have limo lefties exposed as the same white trash…
Wil, you wanna be a big time TV producer or do we let Extreme (H)Akim (Anastapoulis) steal the idea?

Reply

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