SC

Mark Sanford Bailed On “Faith And Freedom” Event

WHERE WAS THE “LUV GOV?” || By FITSNEWS ||  A day after he was called out for his progression from free market hero to crony capitalist zero, U.S. Rep. Mark Sanford was a late scratch at a major gathering of South Carolina fiscal and social conservatives. Wait … “King David” bailed…

WHERE WAS THE “LUV GOV?”

|| By FITSNEWS ||  A day after he was called out for his progression from free market hero to crony capitalist zero, U.S. Rep. Mark Sanford was a late scratch at a major gathering of South Carolina fiscal and social conservatives.

Wait … “King David” bailed on his people?

Yup.  Sanford was a scheduled speaker at this weekend’s “Faith and Freedom” forum in Greenville, S.C. – a gathering which is organized annually buy U.S. Rep. Jeff Duncan.  In fact Sanford was featured in the program for the forum, which drew a host of aspiring 2016 “Republican” presidential contenders.  But Sanford canceled “at the last minute” event organizers tell FITS.

Hmmmm …

Should we be concerned?  After all … remember what happened the last time this guy went missing?

Oh well …

Perhaps Sanford just needed some “alone time” with his homeboy … Jesus.  Or his other homeboy …  John Boehner.  Or maybe executives from aircraft manufacturer Boeing called and needed him to spit polish a few of their, um, “787s.”

***

Related posts

SC

SCDOT: ‘Carolina Crossroads’ Update Coming

Will Folks
SC

South Carolina Lottery Slammed By Auditors

Will Folks
SC

Susan Smith Saga: Prison ‘Sexploits’ Imperil Infamous Killer’s Parole Bid

Will Folks

41 comments

easterndumbfuckistan May 10, 2015 at 3:56 pm

He’s probably out on his plantation digging holes with his backhoe and then filling them back in, because big equipment.

Reply
shifty henry May 10, 2015 at 4:38 pm

You have seen videos where the subject keeps repeating back and forth very quickly — you gave me the image of Sanford “digging and filling” === haw! haw! Does he have one of those ‘Kamasutra’ backhoes?

Reply
easterndumbfuckistan May 10, 2015 at 5:04 pm

I think that’s another piece of equipment. It’s called an Argentine shallow well jet pump.

Reply
Will Folks aka Sic May 10, 2015 at 4:39 pm

HILARIOUS

Reply
shifty henry May 10, 2015 at 4:39 pm

thank you!

Reply
K.Mann May 10, 2015 at 8:00 pm

I believe the two of you will be octogenarians rocking on the porch of your old age home and still snickering about this.

Reply
shifty henry May 10, 2015 at 9:23 pm

Front porch of the Sunshine Sanctuary for the Senile:
—————
Priscilla: Henry, tell us another one
Henry: Well, my mouth is a little dry
Margaret: I’ll get you some iced tea or lemonade
Henry: Thanks, dear, and while you’re in the kitchen see if there is any of that banana pudding left
Priscilla: Let’s all have some before Henry starts a new story. Lordy, I just about fly right out of my rocker from laughing
Henry: You two ladies truly love to be tickled (tickle) (tickle)
Priscilla & Margaret: KEEP THOSE FINGERS TO YOURSELF, BIG BOY..!! (giggle)(giggle)

TontoBubbaGoldstein May 10, 2015 at 10:13 pm

Belinda and Henry, both widowed and residents of the same nursing home, had really hit it off. The couple enjoyed daily walks around the grounds, which always ended with a cuddle and long conversations on the bench by the lake. One day while sitting on their usual bench, Henry grew bold and placed Belinda’s hand down his pants. Belinda was surprised but didn’t object. Things went on for some time and their daily ritual always ended with long conversations on the park bench with Belinda’s hand down Henry’s pants.

Then, on one ill-fated day Henry did not show up at their usual meeting place. Worried to death about Henry’s well-being Belinda frantically set out to search the grounds for her love. It wasn’t long until she found Henry…

To her horror, she found him sitting on the other side of the lake on a bench with another woman who also had her hand down Henry’s pants.

Outraged, Belinda stormed over to the bench and shouted, “You BASTARD!! How could you do this me? What does this…this HUSSY have that I don’t?”

Henry replied, “Parkinson’s”.

shifty henry May 10, 2015 at 10:53 pm

The elderly couple had retired and moved to a retirement community in Florida. Everything was supposed to be better, but worried about their less than exciting sex life, the wife sent her husband to a therapist who wound up treating him with self-hypnosis. And, to her joy, everything got much better.

However, she could not help but notice that each night, early into their lovemaking, the husband would dash out to the bathroom for several minutes. This tormented her until finally, one night, she followed him.

There, in front of the mirror, she found him applying this therapeutic technique: “She’s not my wife… She’s not my wife… She’s not my wife…”

Bubbye? May 11, 2015 at 8:29 am

His absence could be signaling the beginning of his departure from politics. His image can’t take more hypocritical stances and sound bites. His participation in this event, juxtapositioned with a forthcoming announcement that he was leaving for a job with Boeing, or as a lobbyist, or in the banking industry, etc…, would add fuel to the fire.

He might like the surprise element of saying, ” You won’t have me to kick around anymore!”

Reply
John Boy May 10, 2015 at 4:09 pm

To be fair, he may have been having a discussion with his boys on Argentine poontang and lost track of time.

Reply
shifty henry May 10, 2015 at 4:34 pm

‘lost track of time’ — more likely, he lost track of the poontang…

Reply
Birthers For Cruz May 10, 2015 at 4:20 pm

Good for Sanford.

Keep showing your contempt for these dumbass Right Wingers.

They’ll keep voting for you.

Reply
Will Folks aka Sic May 10, 2015 at 4:39 pm

LOlz

Reply
Bible Thumper May 10, 2015 at 4:44 pm

VOLVO?

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein May 10, 2015 at 4:55 pm

VOLVO?

Wasn’t it an Argentine Volvo that started all of this?

Oops.
Nevermind.

Reply
shifty henry May 10, 2015 at 5:36 pm

— got it!

TroubleBaby May 10, 2015 at 8:59 pm

correction:

“pre-owned, Argentine Vulva”

You’re welcome.

TontoBubbaGoldstein May 10, 2015 at 9:48 pm

Overheard:
“You paid $3500 for a used WHAT?”

Costly for all May 10, 2015 at 10:00 pm

Well the SC taxpayers did, until he paid them back when he got caught.

TroubleBaby May 11, 2015 at 12:52 am

“A box.”

Halfvast Conspirator May 10, 2015 at 4:23 pm

Had to take Jenny out for Mother’s Day

Reply
shifty henry May 10, 2015 at 4:33 pm

+8

Reply
Mike at the Beach May 10, 2015 at 9:56 pm

That’s just cold… ;-)

Reply
Bible Thumper May 10, 2015 at 4:38 pm

“A day after he was called out for his progression from free market hero to crony capitalist zero, “
I sure everyone sees the connection.

Reply
CNSYD May 10, 2015 at 8:21 pm

There has to be one. Remember how Folks scared the shit out of Spurrier and it caused him to win more games? I am sure this “calling out” by Folks of Sanfraud will produce results just like that.

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein May 10, 2015 at 10:21 pm

Remember how Folks scared the shit out of Spurrier and it caused him to win more games?

Guess he needs to call him out again.
*snickers*

Reply
Bible Thumper May 10, 2015 at 4:47 pm

Anyone notice Sanford’s eyes wondering in the foto? Girl in the background is not paying him any attention. Clutching her purse though. Good for her.

Reply
Evrbuddys got the fever May 10, 2015 at 7:30 pm

Spring Fever

Reply
Limbaughsaphatkhunt May 10, 2015 at 7:51 pm

I heard he thought “Faith” and “Freedom” were a set of busty twins from the adult entertainment industry but when he found out what the event was really about….he bailed.

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein May 10, 2015 at 10:19 pm Reply
Marlon May 10, 2015 at 10:12 pm

“…the forum, which drew a host of aspiring 2016 “Republican” presidential contenders.”
Can’t imagine that Sanford would relish being in the company of Presidential hopefuls when he “…coulda been a contenda….”

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein May 10, 2015 at 10:16 pm

Mark Sanford/John Edwards 2016

Bipartisanship.

Reply
That's the ticket! May 10, 2015 at 10:18 pm

“The Fallen”

Reply
Happymother'sday May 11, 2015 at 6:40 am

“A gathering which is organized annually buy U.S. Rep…”

No thought to proofread and/or spellcheck.

Reply
Toyota Kawaski May 11, 2015 at 8:18 am

Knot wind your hear… Y bother

Reply
west_rhino May 11, 2015 at 9:39 am

Wasn’t he supposed to speak at SC’s state convention and be part of Charleston’s delegation?

Reply
Dan Ruck May 11, 2015 at 9:52 am

Ha! Ha! Wonderful! Who can blame him? It was a beautiful day, not one to waste hanging with a bunch of Republicans.

Reply
G.O.B. May 11, 2015 at 11:38 am

Maybe Billy Morris invited him quail hunting to discuss the pipeline.

Reply
GrandTango May 11, 2015 at 1:12 pm

Just like FITS scrubbed the description of his site as Conservative…once the liberals materialized as his most ardent supporters…

Reply
Lone Ranger May 12, 2015 at 1:39 am

Ummmmm…Kemosabe…Sanford bailing???…who’da thunk it–son of a gun
Previously he only bailed on his ignorant voters, his wife and his four sons !!!

Reply

Leave a Comment