Random

The Catholics Are Loaded

WITH EUROS, PEOPLE …  By FITSNEWS || “The God I believe in isn’t short of cash,” U2 lead singer Bono once crooned.  Neither is the Catholic Church, apparently. Cardinal George Pell – selected recently by Pope Francis as the Vatican’s “Secretariat for the Economy” – announced this week that the…

WITH EUROS, PEOPLE … 

By FITSNEWS || “The God I believe in isn’t short of cash,” U2 lead singer Bono once crooned.  Neither is the Catholic Church, apparently.

Cardinal George Pell – selected recently by Pope Francis as the Vatican’s “Secretariat for the Economy” – announced this week that the church’s financial situation was “much healthier than it seemed.”

How so?

“Some hundreds of millions of euros were tucked away in particular accounts and did not appear on the balance sheet,” he said.

Wait … what?

That’s right. Hundreds of millions of euros were “tucked away.”

“Those in the Curia were following long-established patterns,” Pell said. “Just as kings had allowed their regional rules, princes or governors an almost free hand, provided they balanced the books, so too did the popes with the curial cardinals.”

Awesome … so what we have here is the Middle Ages meeting the modern mafia.

We wonder … does Johann Tetzel still have an account open? Possibly one bearing interest? After all, those indulgences really were selling like hot cakes back in the day.

“As soon as a coin in the coffer rings, the soul from purgatory springs.”

That was the expression, right?

Oh well, maybe the church can use some of its newfound largesse to compensate the numerous children who have been sexually abused by Catholic priests (something else the church did its best to “tuck away” out of the public view).

Or maybe the money will go to fund the church’s new gay outreach efforts?

According to Pell, “all (future) investments will be made through Vatican Asset Management, controlled by an expert committee, which will offer a range of ethical investment options, with varying degrees of risk and return, to be chosen by individual agencies such as Congregations.”

Good to know …

***

Related posts

Random

Palmetto Past & Present: South Carolina’s Link To A Spooky Scam

FITSNews
Random

Prioleau Alexander: Boatloads Of Badasses

E Prioleau Alexander
Random

Prioleau Alexander: The World Needs More Badasses

E Prioleau Alexander

68 comments

CNSYD December 5, 2014 at 1:45 pm

News Flash! Water is wet!

Reply
Bible Thumper December 5, 2014 at 2:06 pm

Is the Pope Catholic?

Reply
euwe max December 5, 2014 at 2:12 pm

Does he shit in the woods?

Reply
Same ol' Same ol' December 5, 2014 at 3:26 pm

The Dude thinks he does.

Reply
euwe max December 5, 2014 at 3:32 pm
Yep! December 5, 2014 at 4:42 pm
The Colonel December 5, 2014 at 1:48 pm

Damn Will, first you invoke the wrath of Clemson students and now you’re poking the Catholic Church. You’re going to go from denial of service attacks to excommunication in one fell swoop.

Reply
euwe max December 5, 2014 at 1:54 pm

denial of service attacks
——–
I noticed that too.. has this little corner of hell gotten the attention of anonymous?

Reply
The Colonel December 5, 2014 at 1:56 pm

Lot of nerds at Clemson, his recent post on the Hipps tragedy may have proved some of the computer science nerds to get his attention.

Reply
euwe max December 5, 2014 at 2:10 pm

Yeah.. probably something local.. it worked, but it wasn’t impressive or very long lived, and they didn’t get past the firewall or make a statement. If he was a player on the world stage and got the attention of the dark web, then we’d see some *real* fireworks!

With the help of some friends, I’ve made use of some exploits on national forums to escape censorship.. but I’m a white hat hacker – I would never destroy assets, or harm the innocent. The world needs renaissance men.

Reply
The Colonel December 5, 2014 at 2:12 pm

That face and a white hat – wow…

euwe max December 5, 2014 at 2:14 pm

“The city deserves a better class of criminal… and I’m gonna give it to ’em”

“Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I’m an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It’s fair!”

Timmy Tebow December 5, 2014 at 5:07 pm

Dark Knight, baby! Best of em all.Too bad that chick drove Heath to the drugs…

FastEddy23 December 5, 2014 at 8:00 pm

This is why many modern criminals work for banks …

The Colonel December 5, 2014 at 2:14 pm

On second thought, you don’t think Grand Tango/BigT/Emily has hired an IT specialist do you?

euwe max December 5, 2014 at 2:19 pm

No.. I don’t think he’s ever even ordered a pizza.

Smirks December 5, 2014 at 2:50 pm

An IT specialist worth a damn can’t be bought with food stamps.

euwe max December 5, 2014 at 3:47 pm

we don’t call them “IT specialists!”.. and you can’t *hire* them.

E Norma Scok December 5, 2014 at 4:14 pm

Good lord the bullshit flows through you…

euwe max December 5, 2014 at 4:16 pm

I am a conduit of bullshit – a holy avatar of bullshit from which a wealth of perspective may be derived.

Were you going to explain how a stack overflow in a browser can be used to transfer control to a ring zero device driver?

shifty henry December 5, 2014 at 5:49 pm

Max, are you “waxing” again?

euwe max December 5, 2014 at 5:56 pm

only mentally.

FastEddy23 December 5, 2014 at 7:56 pm

How does a gingoest sweat-hog black hat hacker know about the firmware in a thumb drive? By a CRC of comparison with the make’s own, fur sure.

euwe max December 6, 2014 at 12:59 pm

By a CRC comparison with the make’s own, fur sure.

——-
Yeah? How?

In this case, I’ll allow you to use Google, and post a link.

FastEddy23 December 7, 2014 at 9:15 pm

I built a cpu once that DEC couldn’t beat. Secret? Let the RAM refresh run from the sys clock, turn off the wait states and CRC completely … It didn’t always get the right answers, but man oh man was it fast ;-}

euwe max December 7, 2014 at 9:22 pm

Fast beats right every time!

euwe max December 7, 2014 at 10:37 pm

btw, the firmware in the usb arm processor is practically impossible to access… unless you have the time and patience to do some serious reverse engineering. There’s no way any of this technology has gotten out of the hands of the OEM.

FastEddy23 December 5, 2014 at 7:51 pm

e-m: you are probably close to the truth. The whole truth is out there … somewhere.

euwe max December 5, 2014 at 1:51 pm

It’s a good thing the church isn’t involved in politics.

Reply
9" December 5, 2014 at 1:56 pm

If that cute pope,John Paul were still alive,I’d go for an outreach,but the new pope is ugly as homemade sin.If it didn’t appear on the balance sheets,it might have been left under bed sheets all over the wold.

Reply
euwe max December 5, 2014 at 2:22 pm

I don’t know how I missed this all these years… *now* I know why homophobes equate homosexuality with child abuse!

PRIESTS are giving you all a bad name!

Reply
9" December 5, 2014 at 3:51 pm

There’s a disproportionate number of gays in clergies of all religions,but very,very few abuse children.They like MEN.Pedophiles go after boys AND girls,and the vast majority are heterosexual men.’Homophobes equate homosexuality with child abuse’,because its been sensationalized,and people buy into that.Are you saying prayers for the millions of Americans who’ve died from,Ebola? Nearly everyone on this blog bought into that one…

Reply
euwe max December 5, 2014 at 4:00 pm

I saw a map of reassignment of priests accused of pedophilia… maybe I took away the wrong message.

At any rate, if it’s propaganda, I was a victim of it – that priests preferred little boys… seemed like it was always males in the slimelight accusing them.

Reply
Yep! December 5, 2014 at 4:40 pm

It’s hard to discern fact from fiction via MSM(let alone the internets)….and no one has the time to look up every statistic on every topic let alone establish causation as a result.

That’s why the world is filled with talking points. A world full of casual know it all’s.

Yay!

euwe max December 5, 2014 at 4:45 pm

I have several half-formed ideas taken from the zeitgeist, but whenever possible, I track down the origin of certain bedrock ideas of the right… they’re almost all lies or worse.

afmajret December 5, 2014 at 8:20 pm

They didn’t have altar girls back in the day, just altar boys, hence the predominance of boys being abused. A matter of opportunity, not necessarily preference.

hrh December 5, 2014 at 9:03 pm

Exactly.

euwe max December 6, 2014 at 3:14 am

Not having taken a pledge of celibacy, I have no idea what it must be like to go through puberty all the way to middle age without even masturbation as a refuge… for all I know, it drives a certain percentage of those who attempt it mad… and finally, breaking bad – find no difference between one sinful release and another… so that boys and girls offer the same path of least resistance, and a chance at interaction without getting caught.

Wouldn’t pressure just keep building up until something burst?

In my mind, it seems that applying this artificial constraint on the strongest component of will – survival of the species – would produce schizophrenia, delusions, self-hatred, sexual perversion, depression, guilt and an upset stomach.

Bible Thumper December 5, 2014 at 2:15 pm

—–Cardinal George Pell – selected recently by Pope Francis as the Vatican’s “Secretariat for the Economy”——
He would have done better if he had hired a Jew.

Reply
CNSYD December 5, 2014 at 3:01 pm

Jesus saves but Moses invests.

Reply
Kudos December 5, 2014 at 4:37 pm

Now that’s some funny shit right there.

+10

Reply
shifty henry December 5, 2014 at 5:59 pm

What’s the difference between Jewish women and Catholic
women? Catholic women have fake jewelry and real orgasms.

Reply
Bible Thumper December 5, 2014 at 6:13 pm

Baptist women wear one string of pearls for each chin. Orgasms? What are those? They won’t even bother to fake it.

Reply
shifty henry December 5, 2014 at 6:31 pm

“Did you fake it that time, darling?” the husband asked after making love to his wife. “No, dear,” she
replied. “This time I really was asleep.”

Reply
shifty henry December 5, 2014 at 6:35 pm

Two elderly gentlemen were at a bar and catching up on the news. After a while one asked, “By the
way Harry, how’s your wife?”

“I think she’s dead.”

“What do you mean, you THINK she’s dead?”

“Well, the sex is the same, but the dishes are piling up.”

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein December 7, 2014 at 8:19 am

Fairness Doctrine:

Two elderly womenmen were at a church social and catching up on the news. After a while one asked, “By the
way Harriette, how’s your husband?”

“I think he’s dead.”

“What do you mean, you THINK he’s dead?”

“Well, the sex is the same, but the toilet seat stays down AND I get to use the TV remote…”

shifty henry December 7, 2014 at 8:22 am

—- pretty good!

tomstickler December 5, 2014 at 2:23 pm

Not too far off the thread, but is there any reason Will is ignoring a good jobs report today?

He never misses a chance to post when there is a disappointing one.

Reply
Manray December 5, 2014 at 2:30 pm

I noticed the same. Good jobs report, gasoline prices way down, low inflation, slowest healthcare cost rises in many years — are these the results of all that scary socialism in DC?

Reply
FastEddy23 December 7, 2014 at 9:21 pm

Gruberizer Alert … Curves ahead …

Reply
Smirks December 5, 2014 at 2:51 pm

Same reason why most any good reports are ignored. Doom and gloom sells. (So does sex, but no more boobies for us. Booooo!)

Reply
The Colonel December 5, 2014 at 6:12 pm

Check again boys he’s posted his jobs report review.

Reply
just sayin December 5, 2014 at 2:41 pm

over 1 million bishops, priests, and nuns worldwide. that sounds like good payroll practice rather than some vast treasury.
http://www.catholicnews.com/data/stories/cns/1200999.htm

Reply
Buz Martin December 5, 2014 at 2:43 pm

Yep. Catholics are loaded. Don’t believe it, just watch Father Johnathan McBarleycorn fall down three times between the rectory and the sanctuary.

Reply
Cardinal Rocky December 5, 2014 at 3:49 pm

As a Catholic – the Pope and I say to the Baptists – “beat that – beeeacches”

Reply
The Colonel December 6, 2014 at 9:46 am

It would be hard to “beat that” for us Baptists. All Baptist churches are completely independent from the others. The only co-mingling of funds occurs through the “cooperative fund” and the degree to which an individual church supports the fund is up to the individual church.

Reply
euwe max December 5, 2014 at 4:03 pm

I wonder what would change if the richest men in the world credited drugs with their success?

Reply
FastEddy23 December 7, 2014 at 9:09 pm

One would be surprised to learn how many rich, fat biz tycoons had partaken of the smoke … and quit.

Me? Give me that old time wheat ergot …

Reply
euwe max December 7, 2014 at 9:13 pm

ergot of rye for me.

Reply
Further December 8, 2014 at 11:45 am

… whatever blows your skirts up. For me the regular, unwashed British Clinical was plenty.

Reply
euwe max December 8, 2014 at 12:30 pm
E Norma Scok December 5, 2014 at 4:16 pm


THE CATHOLICS ARE LOADED”

So are the Jews, and the muslims with oil to sell…what’s the newsflash?

Reply
euwe max December 5, 2014 at 4:49 pm

…maybe he means “stoned.”

Reply
anonymous ex-Catholic December 5, 2014 at 9:48 pm

No joke, the Catholics are loaded. In our little own Columbia, SC, just go on down Devine Street – St. Joseph’s – and buy off your “excommunication” due to your divorce – and yep, you can see why the Catholics are so rich. The previous Monsignor was more responsive to cash – whore that he was – but the process is still in place. That low life also gave absolution to Jean HOEFER ($$$$) Toal and permitted her to be a reader on occasion. Those sand pits paid for it all…..

Reply
anonymous ex-wife December 6, 2014 at 1:40 pm

My husband slapped me and then left me for another woman. He lied on his financials and got caught. He wrote a check to St. Josephs for somewhere between $ 125,000 and $ 150,000 and had his “ex-communication” rescinded.

Reply
Soft Sigh from Hell December 6, 2014 at 12:36 pm

I hope this pope is well protected. The conservative and the corrupt powers that be behind the chair of Peter have to be gnashing their teeth.

Reply
euwe max December 7, 2014 at 10:47 pm

God tricked them this time – good!

Reply
TyroneMamaCollards December 8, 2014 at 1:01 pm

Look at all that gold and art in the Vatican. They are filthy rich. Jesus said we are supposed to go and sell what we have and pick up the Cross and follow Him. The Church should sell it all, give it to the poor, and live like paupers. But not these guys. Criminals one and all.

Reply

Leave a Comment