Prioleau Alexander: ‘Advice For Morons’

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by PRIOLEAU ALEXANDER

The first two weeks of the new Trump Administration have been epic. The wailing and gnashing of teeth amongst the Liberals has been magically delicious. And as an added bonus, the Democrat Party is in a nitro-fueled overdrive ensuring it will never again be in power.

Let’s consider some of the things causing the Democrats’ hysteria:

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IDENTIFYING WASTE, FRAUD, AND ABUSE IN USAID

Accounting for where tax dollars are spent is a pretty basic function of government… at least that’s what 90% of Americans would say. Democrat leaders and their media mouthpieces are fighting that idea, tooth and nail.

Because they are so utterly out of touch with Americans, the Leftists in charge are completely ignoring the egregiously criminal activity that’s been happening in USAID. They’re screaming about their usual windmills, claiming Trump’s freeze on foreign aid is morally equivalent to nuking those same countries.

What are some questions they’re pretending don’t exist, for which even the average Democrat voter would like answers? I’d guess the list would include these, based on what was already uncovered in one day in the USAID offices: 

Why did we spend $1.5 million to “advance diversity equity and inclusion in Serbia’s workplaces and business communities?”

Why did we spend $2 million for sex changes and “LGBT activism” in Guatemala?

Why did we spend $2.5 million for electric vehicles for Vietnam?

Why did we spend even a penny on a transgender comic book in Peru?

Democrats, listen: Everyone who goes on social media even once a week knows about these expenses. This is the part where you shut the fuck up, and express outrage that things have gotten this out of hand. You don’t demonize everyone who wants an answer to this lunacy, because every voting American wants an answer. 

Oh, and you don’t poo-poo these facts by saying, “USAID is only one percent of America’s budget.” Again, your cluelessness about your constituents is staggering to behold… but here’s an insider tip: They aren’t rich like you, so 1% isn’t a rounding error for their monthly budget. One percent matters. 

Do you have any earthly idea how many working-class families it would take to pay the $2 million in income taxes that went to Guatemalan mutilations? Are you aware of how much pain those taxes cause them? The vacations and toys their kids can’t have because of those taxes?

Here is what your constituents want: Every nickel of fraudulent money identified, the people involved with it investigated, and if anything appears even remotely illegal, everyone involved charged with white-collar crimes. 

Yet somehow, this eludes you. You’re fighting on behalf of graft and money laundering.

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ELON MUSK

It doesn’t seem that long ago that having one off the world’s great minds volunteer to help your government would be a good thing… especially if his directive was to root out waste, fraud and abuse. Oh, and he’d already demonstrated himself as the world’s foremost expert in that same thing, by firing 80% of Twitter’s workforce without a glitch in its service.

Yet, Liberal leaders are demonizing Elon Musk for his willingness to help. They’re trying to position him as more powerful than Donald Trump. AOC called him “unintelligent.”

It would be wise at this point to (spot the theme) shut the fuck up and see what he uncovers. I know you mental deviants think you’re the smartest guy in any room but let me give you a little hint: If you offered every business owner in America the free advice and counsel of the world’s richest man, 99.9% would say hell yes.

If you asked that same 99.9% if you needed to be smart to become the world’s richest man, they’d all say yes. And if you asked that same 99.9% if you needed to be smart to be a politician, they’d all say no.  

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INCREASED BORDER SECURITY, PAID FOR BY SOMEONE ELSE

Trump proposed implementing tariffs on Canada and Mexico, demanding a serious security upgrade in border security. Knowing a trade war with the United States would cripple their countries, both governments complied within twenty-four hours.

Winning, yet Leftists are shitting.

They’ve even gone so far as to spin up a tale that Trump played no role in the Canadian and Mexican decisions to help shore up the borders.

Democrats: Once again, this is the part where you (again) shut the fuck up and congratulate the new President for taking steps that will reduce the tons of fentanyl coming across the border. Hell, you can leave your beloved illegals out of your comments. You can even lie and say you care about all the rural white kids who are dying.

But you won’t. Because you’re retarded. Because you bozos still believe 50% of America gives a shit about transgender surgery for prison inmates.

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THE ZANY ANNOUNCEMENT THERE ARE ONLY TWO GENDERS

This outrage I kind of understand, because you Dems have wrapped yourself inextricably to this hare-brained topic. Let me note, however, you just got plowed in the elections. Could your support of the preposterous idea that there are 72-genders have played a role in said bulldozing?

Do you have any idea how few of your voters actually agree with your LGBT bullshit? That want to fight for the rights of failed male athletes to compete against women? That support the idea of perverts showering with their 16-year-old daughter?

Outside of Los Angeles, Manhattan, San Francisco, and Ivy League campuses, no one believes this horsecrap. So, this would be a good time to (I’m building a refrain here) shut the fuck up and use this opportunity to let your support of the concept to slowwwwly fade away. Maybe tell a whopper like, “I believe in the rule of law, so for now I’ll shut my cakehole about this critical issue… but just for now. But I’ll never give up the struggle, and when Trump is gone, I’ll make sure drag queens have unlimited children to groom!”

Then, you never bring it up again. Never. 

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PROTECTING USELESS BUREAUCRATS

The Dems, or course, are shrieking about the number of bureaucrats getting the axe.

Allow me to let you in a secret: Bureaucrats — and politicians who get their votes — love bureaucrats. No one else in these United States even likes them.

You people are thinking about the brave bureaucrat who’s engaged in a righteous fight to save the coyotes.

Everyone else? A bureaucrat is the DMV fat-ass who feels joy when rejecting your request. A bureaucrat is the asshole at the permitting office when you’re trying to add a garage to your home. A bureaucrat is the bitch at the tax office when you’re trying to get your primary residence registered at a 4% property tax rate. A bureaucrat is someone being paid triple their value, with benefits and retirement the rest of us only dream of.

I wouldn’t say everyone hates bureaucrats, but they sure don’t give a crap about them – or their individual fates.

So, this would be a really good time to (wait for it) shut the fuck up and simply ignore the bloodbath. Every time you’re on TV, vomiting your pus into the microphone and declaring your outage they’re being fired, one of your voters is watching and thinking to themselves, “You didn’t fight for me when my job got outsourced to a Mexican factory. Come to think of it, you’ve never fought for me in anything. Ever.”

Yes, I know those voters don’t “deserve” the support of someone as enlightened as you, Margaret, but they think they do. And they’re the ones that vote. 

Lots of Democrats are fine people. You should get to know a few.

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ICE RAIDS

“Abolish ICE!” they’re squealing. “Stop these mass deportations!”

Okay, retards — as Trump has said a thousand times, they are currently arresting and deporting “the worst of the worst criminals.” Now, we all know Democrat leaders love crime and death, but your constituents don’t… unless it’s abortion, of course.

Do you have any idea how happy it makes Americans (Left and Right) to see some illegal with neck and face tattoos arrested? Do you think they like having a drug-dealing rapist living next door? Would you? Of course not — but then again, those people would get arrested for just walking in your neighborhood.

I realize, of course, you’re thinking about the mass deportation of families and law-abiding workers… but you’re spewing your shit now, when it’s the known criminals.

Because you’re too stupid to understand politics, or envision the world more than one minute into your future, allow me to explain: Biden let in 12 million illegals. Trump promised mass deportations. But exactly how many do you think they can possibly get? Maybe one or two million?

Conservatives would be over the moon happy if the number hit two million — hell, we all thought Kamala was going to steal the election and the borders would remain open. At some point, of course, the deportations will taper off — and eventually Trump will say, “We got as many as we could. Zero are coming in.”

We’ll all be thrilled.

Ergo, this would be a good time to (say it with me) shut the fuck up, and lie about how you care that the deportations are being done safely and humanely. And for God’s sake, don’t bring up Gitmo. Everyone thinks that is freaking hilarious.

Please, Burn After Reading.

I know you leftists will ignore all the advice above, and double down on some stupid crap like fighting for the rights of dwarves to get into fighter pilot training… but it’s embarrassing. For everyone. The world is witnessing first-hand the systematic exposure of America’s corruption – and you’re threatening to hold your breath until everyone agrees to unsee and unhear facts that can’t be disputed.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR …

Prioleau Alexander is a freelance writer, focusing mostly on politics and non-fiction humor. He is the author of four books: ‘You Want Fries With That?,’ ‘Dispatches Along the Way,’ ‘Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?‘ and ‘They Don’t Call It The Submission Process For Nothing.’ 

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