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The fake polls have vice president Kamala Harris leading former president Donald Trump, and the usual suspects are giddy.
The adoration comes in the wake of Harris delivering her first ‘Big Girl’ speech, which by all reports was not a King-Kongian-sized flop. This, of course, is deliriously exciting, because every speech she’s given in the past three years has been an Godzillian-sized disaster — and dutifully censored by the DNC employees in the legacy media.
Consider that just two weeks ago, the media and elected Democrats were threatening to hold their breath until every liberal agreed former president, errr, Democratic nominee Joe Biden was sharp as a tack. They were lying, we knew they were lying, they knew we knew they were lying – but they lied anyway. Biden, they swore, was the only man in the DNC qualified to lead America forward … into the great reset.
Huh. Seems they didn’t mourn the passing Lunchpail Joe too long. In the first-ever speech where Kamala didn’t screw the pooch, here are some of the responses:
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MSNBC pundit Donny Deutsch said. “There was a twinkle in her eye. There was a kick in her step that, you know, when you’re vice president … you’re not loose.”
Huh?
He continued, “And I was blown away. I was, like, I kind of fell in love with her. I thought she was smart, engaging. She’s funny, feisty, twinkle in your eye, punch you in the gut. I mean, everything you kind of want. And I just thought it was a great, great opening act.“
I haven’t read something that retardedly fawning since former Hardball host Chris Matthews said that Barack Obama caused a shiver to run down his leg.
“The Bulwark” podcast host Tim Miller, said, “Bear with me, I’m jumping out of my seat over here watching this. People have been thirsting for this.”
Is he jumping out of his seat because she was actually able to stand up and string a few sentences together — instead of clinging to the podium for dear life, drooling a few words, and wandering off looking for some soft serve ice cream?
His guest, MSNBC’s Maya Wiley followed by saying, “I’m with Tim – Tim, I’m jumping out of my seat higher than you, my brother. I’m just going to say that.”
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RELATED | JOE BIDEN: ‘A DEEP, SEETHING RESENTMENT’
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Really? This is the kind of conversation two parents have when their toddler drops his first deuce into a plastic potty-trainer – not one about a grown-ass woman who gave a decent speech.
Maya Wiley went on to say she was “tearing up” during a portion of Harris’ speech when she discussed her relationship with Biden.
“These aren’t people who just show up for the public to put on a show,” she said. “This is what you see behind closed doors. This is not just graciousness for political expediency. This is graciousness because grace is something that matters deeply to these two leaders.”
At the risk of pointing out something that would be obvious to Helen Keller, this wasn’t said behind closed doors. We literally heard it because Kamala “showed up in public to put on a show.”
Holy Moses — where do they find people this unprofessional? These people make Ron Burgundy look like Edward R. Murrow.
Nancy Pelosi also got in on the gushing praise, and between chugs of her chardonnay-filled Yeti croaked, “Politically, make no mistake: Kamala Harris as a woman in politics is brilliantly astute.”
Is this, uh … the same Kamala who came in last in the 2020 DNC primary? Who failed to garner a single delegate?
The speech isn’t the only thing the media is gushing about. DNC typist Guthrie Graves-Fitzsimmons penned a piece for MSNBC fawning over Kamala’s devotion to her faith, writing, “Donald Trump brandishes a performative rendition of the Christian faith as a political prop to advance authoritarian theocracy, while (Harris) practices the Christian faith she was raised in.”
Hmm. I think Trump was raised without a religious rudder and is probably agnostic, but I do know Kamala was raised in a Baptist church. Perhaps I’m just confused—me being an Anglican and all—but I’m pretty sure Baptists aren’t big fans of abortion. Maybe she got a special dispensation, like Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, and Stephen Colbert?
One small speedbump, however, does beg the question, “Is all well down in Kamalaville?”
Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries said Monday, “vice president Kamala Harris is off to a great start with her promise to pursue the presidential nomination in a manner consistent with the grassroots and transparent process set forth by the Democratic National Committee.”
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Then … they failed to endorse her.
Until they panicked and did endorse her.
Oddly enough, the undisputed heavyweight of all things swamp, Barack Obama, hasn’t endorsed her.
Why? What does Obama want? Why isn’t he endorsing Kamala? Is it possible Obama has another candidate in mind? One who’s not a mouth-breathing window licker? One he can control, because they sleep under the same roof each night?
If that’s the case, Obama had best get busy weaving his web of treachery, because an entire brain trust of high school educated people who play dress-up and make-believe are down with the Special K: George (Et tu?) Clooney, John Stewart, Katy Perry, Robert DeNiro, Barbra Streisand, Luke Skywalker, Jamie Lee Curtis, and that Asian dude from Star Trek … they’re all in.
I mean, think of the combined education in this think tank! The value it seems like they’ve added to the world! The businessmen they’ve portrayed! The scientific discoveries they made standing in front of a green screen! The brilliant way they deliver words someone else wrote!
Things are getting curiouser and curiouser.
In the end, however, her brilliant delivery of speeches may just be what leads her through the front door of the White House. After all, it’s her oral skills that got her here, so why give up on a winning formula?
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR …
Prioleau Alexander is a freelance writer, focusing mostly on politics and non-fiction humor. He is the author of four books: ‘You Want Fries With That?,’ ‘Dispatches Along the Way,’ ‘Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?‘ and ‘They Don’t Call It The Submission Process For Nothing.’
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28 comments
I’m Anglican also.
Just like clockwork…..Trump chickens out of the debate with Kamala.
What a sad little elderly man. I’m sure Kamala will agree to a break, so Trump’s people can change his diaper.
These weak ass, MAGA goons sure are going through some things over the last few days.
The out pouring of desperation and bigotry from outlets like Fits”News” and their budget blogger staff is fucking hilarious!
Please keep posting incredibly sad and dumb blog post like the one from this defeated, lonely, pining for Biden little simp.
Too funny!!
Make sure to book mark this blog post.
This may be one of the most cringe blog post from any MAGA nutter yet!
Sharing this with everyone. Privately though, if this blog post goes viral the author might get suicidal from embarrassment……oh wait! This is a MAGA fool we’re talking about. Having no shame is their superpower. Type on, boomer. Type, on
“Biden, they swore, was the only man in the DNC qualified to lead America forward … into the great reset.”
I can’t find where anyone including Biden said that, but if so “she is no man.”
Yes, your Episcopal background does have you confused. Baptists have had a moving history on abortion. In the 1980s the SBC supported abortion rights. Later the SBC scaled back that support to only in the event of rape, incest, and mental anguish. Then to protect the life of the mother. Now the SBC is all into the life begins at conception and must be protected until it leaves the womb. But after that, they seem to have lost the Jesus parts of the Bible so if the child dies from starvation too not their problem. But Baptists are not a hierarchical church, like the Catholic Church, the Church of England, and the Episcopal Church. You are not even required to be a member of the Southern Baptist Convention to call yourself a Baptist Church. Each congregation can have differing beliefs and each person within a congregation can have differing beliefs. That is why 60+% of the people in South Carolina support abortion rights.
One big thing to remember, even if you are a believer in religion, churches are run by humans. Southern churches used the Bible to defend the institution of slavery in America. If you’re looking for humans to tell you what is moral and what isn’t, prepare to be greatly disappointed.
If church goers viewed abortion on a case-by-case basis, they’d see the various reasons for getting them as varying shades of gray. It’s the conservative mind rot that condenses it into one shade of jet black.
Not sure what Baptists you’re referring to, but the Southern Baptist Convention has only ever supported abortion in cases where the mother’s physical health was at risk or in case of rapes or fetal unviability. The SBC has always disagreed with abortion as a form of birth control (which most abortions are). All of this came to a head just before Roe V Wade. In 1971, the convention said “society has a responsibility to affirm through the laws of the state a high view of the sanctity of human life, including fetal life … We call upon Southern Baptists to work for legislation that will allow the possibility of abortion under such conditions as rape, incest, clear evidence of fetal deformity, and carefully ascertained evidence of the likelihood of damage to the emotional, mental, and physical health of the mother.” Roe forced a deep look into what we really believed and at the same time, a conservative resurgence began in the convention, ultimately leading to a pro life position. However, I don’t know a Southern Baptist leader (and I know quite a few) who have strong disagreement with the original idea that life of mother or unviability are not legitimate reasons to consider abortion. What almost all Southern Baptists disagree with (and have for time immemorial) is “anytime, anywhere for any reason” abortion. The basis for this is Biblical, and can be found in
Jerimiah: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
Psalms: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful”.
Luke: “When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit”
There is a lot of BS floating around about “Baptists” doing or believing this or that and most of it is just that, BS. You must remember that SBC churches are self-governed, joining together in the convention to loosely set doctrine and determine what cooperative actions they can take (missions). An individual Baptist church (or an individual Baptist for that matter) can take or leave what they want from convention dogma, we refer to this as the “priesthood of the believer”.
It’s also important to remember how the SBC formed in the first place – explicitly in support of slavery.
True dat, not perfect just forgiven.
Not forgiven, hellbound.
Do you get off on dreaming up these fantasy theories about Obama?
Oh yeah!,,,
When you depend on hate clicks.
It my business model.
I wonder what they would say about Kamala if she had five children with 3 husbands, and talked about grabbing men by the d$@k?
Even better, all but one of trumps kids are from immigrant women.
Both Obamas have endorsed Kamala.
Maybe this blogger can get a script for benzos? He’s acting rather hysterical.
Young black woman prosecutor versus old white convicted felon, man the whole world done gone upside down for them simple folk like Pringles Alexander!
I don’t know what your ultimate goal here is, Prioleau, but judging by the comments here , you ain’t convincing many people or converting them to your cause. Does Will actually pay you for this drivel, are you in to masochism, or do you just have too much time on your hands? I guess you are asking why I bother to read it? H. L. Mencken gave the answer: “Why do people go to zoos.”
“Does Will actually pay you for this drivel”
Maybe. Will thinks Drunkle is smart. Big yikes there honestly.
It’s funny that you mention the actors and “the brilliant way they deliver words someone else wrote.” That’s all these high-level politicians ever do, too. Does anyone believe, even for a second, that Kamala Harris wrote the speech that has all of these nitwits fawning?
I suppose it’s better to fawn over an obese, elderly, mushed brained, pants shitting felon and his goofy choad VP pick ;-)
Not me. I was active in politics as a young man 20+ years ago. Once I had a chance to spend some time with politicians, I discovered that we do not elect our best and brightest minds to represent us. We elect those that are thick-skinned enough and stupid enough to put themselves through the political process. Maybe there’s an exception or two out there, but at least the vast majority are full of crap (some mentally, some in pants, I suppose).
He thinks he’s “owning the libs” with “edgy” humor. In reality, he just comes off like a weird little freak, a la Vance and Ramaswamy.
JD Vance? The guy who fucked a couch?
That’s all I see online about the guy.
One view all voters seem to have in common….JD Vance sucks.
I did not have sectional relations with that couch!
Trump!
Great job getting everyone stirred up regardless of political affiliation. Just shows you can pull the strings of both sides.