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Herd, Thinned

MAINE MAN DIES AFTER FIREWORK IGNITES … ON HIS HEAD || By FITSNEWS || We feel genuinely sorry for the family and friends of 22-year-old Devon Staples of Calais, Maine.  But the circumstances surrounding his untimely passing at around 10:00 p.m. EDT on July 4 are worth recalling as a…

MAINE MAN DIES AFTER FIREWORK IGNITES … ON HIS HEAD

|| By FITSNEWS || We feel genuinely sorry for the family and friends of 22-year-old Devon Staples of Calais, Maine.  But the circumstances surrounding his untimely passing at around 10:00 p.m. EDT on July 4 are worth recalling as a cautionary tale.

And as an example of our world’s 7.2 billion-person herd thinning … by one.

According to WCSH TV 6 (NBC – Portland, Maine), Staples had been drinking with friends and family on Independence Day when he got the bright idea to put a fireworks mortar on his head and set it off.

It may not have been Staples’ worst idea ever, but it was his last – as the blast killed him instantly.

“There was no rushing him to the hospital. There was no Devon left when I got there,” Staples brother, Cody Staples, told The New York Daily News.

Wow …

Staples disputed reports that his brother lit the firework intentionally, though, calling the deadly incident “a freak accident.”

“Devon was not the kind of person who would do something stupid,” he told the paper. “He was the kind of person who would pretend to do something stupid to make people laugh.”

Hmmmm …

To recap: Whether in jest or “for serious,” do not place fireworks on your head.

***

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28 comments

Tazmaniac July 6, 2015 at 2:29 pm

Did whoever was holding his beer get to drink it?

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John July 6, 2015 at 2:33 pm

The 2015 Darwin Award nominations are now closed.

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major major July 6, 2015 at 5:20 pm Reply
Mike at the Beach July 6, 2015 at 7:54 pm

A tragic case, but this guy’s last words (according to the media reports) after being warned about the 10′ gator in the marina were, “Fuck that gator!” As last words go, that’s a Darwinism winner if there ever was one.

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shifty henry July 6, 2015 at 10:26 pm

He really said that!?

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TroubleBaby July 7, 2015 at 8:58 am Reply
No Chance Of Survival July 6, 2015 at 2:35 pm

People hold onto firecrackers and lose fingers and hands. Holding a mortar to your head is asking for a closed casket funeral.

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Crooner July 6, 2015 at 3:33 pm

This is why fireworks are illegal in sooo many states.

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Legally Incompetent July 6, 2015 at 4:07 pm

This is why Maine didn’t legalize fireworks until 2012.

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Mike at the Beach July 6, 2015 at 7:55 pm

What, they finally got rid of their stupid people?!

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Buzzizzle July 6, 2015 at 10:06 pm

Obviously not. Read the story. Happened in Maine. They’ve got one less stupid person now, though.

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Mike at the Beach July 6, 2015 at 11:56 pm

Ha!

Speak D Truth July 6, 2015 at 4:08 pm

Because, People get drunk and act irresponsible with them? Maybe we should ban cars, too.

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dumbassbluestaters July 6, 2015 at 4:42 pm

figures . i think this a prime example of why ohioans have been relegated to sparklers

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Squishy123 July 6, 2015 at 5:42 pm

Well this article kind of fizzled out like a fart in a punchbowl didn’t it Will.

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shifty henry July 7, 2015 at 6:45 am

Hmmm, sounds like you went to some interesting parties!

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euwe max July 6, 2015 at 8:19 pm

How did it happen? Is there a hole in the bottom of those launchers or what?

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shifty henry July 6, 2015 at 9:40 pm

I’ll be back when someone gives the answer……

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euwe max July 6, 2015 at 9:56 pm

best I can tell – it exploded on his head.

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shifty henry July 6, 2015 at 10:23 pm

Yes, but the force of the pressure downward, I’m guessing. I’ve never screwed around with any real ordinance so I don’t the ‘science’ of it. I just know that I never held a cherry bomb too long…

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FastEddy23 July 6, 2015 at 10:34 pm

I dropped a cherry bomb in a swimming pool with a rock attached. It sank to the bottom of the deep end and blew a hole in the bottom of the pool. … Jus’ play in’ around.

shifty henry July 6, 2015 at 11:41 pm

Was it a real granite pool or an inflatable pool? We dropped them in commodes at the old pow camp in Dentsville — and other places. In writing my memoirs I am constantly reminded that many times I was just (nth) away from becoming a public menace. On second thought, though, let me put it this way — my Dad got me out of scrapes without any indictments or convictions (illegal use of his charge account) (shoplifting) (& maybe more).. Thanks Dad..!! HAH! If he were alive today and was looking over my shoulder for just a week while I read and posted to Fitsnews — wondering what he would think? (“Dammit, Henry, I should have let them fry you!)

FastEddy23 July 15, 2015 at 12:40 pm

Cement community pool. L-shaped, 50x60x30, deep end ~10 ft. where the cracks and holes appeared.

shifty henry July 15, 2015 at 1:18 pm

damn! you outdid me and my pals in SC. of course today the soon-to-be-here earthquakes will do the job for ya’..!!

FastEddy23 July 6, 2015 at 10:32 pm

No, but there is a hole in the head of the holder, now.

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Buzzizzle Foshizzle July 6, 2015 at 10:09 pm

This is much like the the cases a few years ago of guys who died from blowing out their colons by lighting their own farts. SO sorry for their families. I mean, once that’s on the news, what can you even say about it?

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RogueElephant July 7, 2015 at 10:34 pm

This story should be filed “Turd removal from gene pool.” LOL

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