Sexual Jihad!

America is about to bomb Syria. Which means we’re about to be fighting on the same side as al-Qaeda in one Middle Eastern country while we fight against them in another Middle Eastern country. Brilliant strategery, right? Yup … in fact it’s the sort of thing that makes former president…

America is about to bomb Syria. Which means we’re about to be fighting on the same side as al-Qaeda in one Middle Eastern country while we fight against them in another Middle Eastern country.

Brilliant strategery, right? Yup … in fact it’s the sort of thing that makes former president George W. Bush look like a damn genius (except not really).

Anyway, America has no compelling national interest in Syria (which we’ve addressed previously herehere and here). We’re bombing them because U.S. President Barack Obama is mad they used chemical weapons in need of something to distract the country from a rash of scandals and an increasingly sour economy.

So here’s what will happen: Lots of bombs will be dropped, lots of people will die, lots of martyrs will be created, lots of “Death to America” chants will be raised, anti-“infidel” recruitment and fundraising will soar and at the end of the day America will be made less safe as a result.

But we’re done venting our spleen on that for the moment. The purpose of this post – as the title suggests – is to bring your attention to the X-rated side of radical Muslim saber-rattling, known as “Sexual Jihad.”

According to the Assyrian International News Agency (via Personal Liberty Digest), “young Tunisian Muslim girls” have been traveling to Syria to serve as “sex jihadists” for the al-Qaeda affiliated soldiers fighting there. Also pressed into “service?” The widows of al-Qaeda soldiers, reprising a policy the organization reportedly had in place in Iraq.

According to Alsumaria (an Iraqi satellite news service), widows of al-Qaeda commanders participated in a “sexual fatwa” in which they were encouraged to “have sexual intercourse with members of the organization to lift their morale.”

Nice, huh? Kim Jong-il, may he rest in peace, knows all about that.

This policy “allowed for armed members to have sexual intercourse with women for a determined period of time as per a momentary contract that loses effect after a few hours,” at which point other men would “sign a similar contract” enabling “women to sleep with more than one man per day.”

Talk about taking one (or several, actually) for the team …

Meanwhile in America, taxpayers are the ones getting screwed (again) as yet another costly, unnecessary, unjustified and unconstitutional aggression gets underway.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein August 28, 2013 at 5:48 pm


Are there any depths to which these Moose-limb A-rabs will not sink??

shifty henry August 28, 2013 at 7:04 pm

Heard a rumor that P-Square is going to have one night each week for Muslim Night. The girls come out completely naked, and the guys yell, “PUT IT ON! — PUT IT ON!”

Polyphemos August 28, 2013 at 10:21 pm

Maybe Will got it wrong. Maybe they are going to use “huqqahs and looking glasses.” Well, it’s smoke and mirrors, no matter how it’s done.

TontoBubbaGoldstein August 28, 2013 at 5:56 pm

Tech support questions:

1) Why do you get purple hyperlinks?

2) Why does every new post say “Posted 4 hours ago”?
Is TBG on some kind of time delay?

3 ) How the hell is something that wasn’t news 5 years ago “Trending”?

TontoBubbaGoldstein August 28, 2013 at 6:07 pm

“Get up, get up, get up, get up!
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up!

Oh, baby now let’s get down tonight

Ooh baby, I’m hot just like an oven
I need some lovin’
And baby, I can’t hold it much longer
It’s getting stronger and stronger

And when I’m fighting Assad
I want sexual jihad
Sexual jihad, oh baby
Makes me feel so fine…”

9" August 28, 2013 at 6:43 pm

Distant lover….

9" August 28, 2013 at 6:41 pm

That’s HOT! Video? More than one man per day? How many? Jihad Train!

shifty henry August 28, 2013 at 7:06 pm

To the one on the left — Nikki, is that you?

TontoBubbaGoldstein August 28, 2013 at 7:27 pm

Tie-dyed hajibs? TBG wonders what they’re smoking in that hookah…

grateful dead August 28, 2013 at 8:54 pm

Isn’t psychedelic tie dye a bit showy? Oh wait, this is the jihadists’ version of sex workers garb!

EJB August 29, 2013 at 9:37 am

Kind of like “Red Light district” without electricity.

Smirks August 28, 2013 at 9:20 pm

And thus the “Allahback girl” was born.

TontoBubbaGoldstein August 29, 2013 at 2:54 am

TBG tried to give you 5 up votes for that one!

TontoBubbaGoldstein August 29, 2013 at 12:13 pm

Tonight on DATELINE :
Naive young Tunisian women lured into becoming Syrian Allahback girls by evil Jihadist’s false promises of tickets to a Grateful Dead reunion concert in Algeria……

? August 28, 2013 at 10:16 pm

Why wait for your 72 virgins in the afterlife when you can have them in the nowlife?

snickering August 29, 2013 at 5:56 am

Will I understand that you have to dumb it down for your commentators but this is just plain stupid. You’re Political Pals in Washington are demanding a war (chemical) against Syria. It’s your and your American Taliban who really want this war. Why don’t you enlist and look at things from the other side or better yet join the damned American Taliban and then you can Jihad (instead of just Rebel Yelling) about nothing nothing.

TontoBubbaGoldstein August 29, 2013 at 12:08 pm

1). If you don’t know the difference between , “your” and
” you”re”, you shouldn”t accuse someone else of “dumbing it down”.

2) Just use “ur” for both next time, you know, like Rachel Jeantel.

*** **** **** ******

TBG didn’t understand ur post. UR saying that the US is going to use chemical weapons in Syria, yes?

EJB August 29, 2013 at 7:29 am

The Marine Corps had a firebase in Fallujah that had several 3 and 5 story buildings around it. In a corner of their compound there was a local police headquarters. The Marines I spoke with said they could see Iraqi prostitutes on some of the balconies and that some of the police they spoke with had admitted that they were indeed prostitutes and there was booze in the brothels. Everyone over there was worried about “offending” the Iraqis yet here they had their own bordellos (with booze) outside US bases and the Marines were denied beer. I’ve seen reports on TV that Iraqis dealt drugs and all manner of other “bad” things yet the Marines had to be careful not to offend the locals, stupid. The only rule of engagement should be that Americans can’t kill each other.

P.S. Yes the Marines were sniped at from the taller buildings. One Marine I spoke with witnessed another Marine get hit in the neck, he survived but was hospitalized for a long time.

16 Virgins August 29, 2013 at 8:14 am

True story – I was sitting at a hotel pool in Charleston this weekend when an Arab guy of some flavor walked up with his wife and two boys. The man and boys were wearing swimsuits and the woman was wrapped up head to toe complete with the baklava or whatever it’s called.
There were two college girls in bikinis lying on the chaises between he and I. His wife sat on the end holding her scarf tight around her head and he climbed in behind her.
Honest to God the dude looked straight down at the crotch of the chick next to him and started rubbing himself. His wife was watching the kids climb into the pool.

He saw me staring in disbelief and winked at me and looked away. They are some sick motherfuckers! I stared at his wife the rest of the hour hoping he would say something but he never did. Sure, check some snatch, but wrapping your old lady up is not playing fair. After a few cocktails I was imagining her in a tent in the desert doing a pole dance.

TontoBubbaGoldstein August 29, 2013 at 12:19 pm

Hip Hop Version :
He wants a freak in da sheets
But a lady in da screet.

A Casual Observer August 29, 2013 at 12:28 pm

I would think that Nikki Haley would be on the first plane over there for this “community service”


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