Random

Love For Government?

Last month – while returning from a workout at Gold’s Gym in Forest Acres, S.C. – I was pulled over in my Jeep doing 42 miles per hour in a 25 mile per hour zone. I received a speeding ticket in the amount of $81.88. Earlier this week – en route…

Last month – while returning from a workout at Gold’s Gym in Forest Acres, S.C. – I was pulled over in my Jeep doing 42 miles per hour in a 25 mile per hour zone. I received a speeding ticket in the amount of $81.88. Earlier this week – en route to another workout – I paid my ticket at the Forest Acres, S.C. town hall.

Now … I know what you’re probably thinking: A rabid anti-government guy like myself is about to have a verbal conniption over speed limits … or the incompetence of local government. The words “bureaucrat,” “ineptitude” and “waste” are about to get a workout, right?

Wrong …

Here’s the thing: I was speeding at the time officer (insert name) Cooper of the Forest Acres police department pulled me over – which is a violation of S.C. Code Section 56-5-1520. In other words, I deserved to get pulled over – and get cited. In fact Cooper did me a couple of “solids” – reducing my speeding to a two-point violation and not citing me for leaving my wallet (and my driver’s license) at home.

Also when I went to pay my ticket this week, the court bureaucrat (there’s that word) didn’t stare blankly at me and think to herself “that’s someone else’s problem” when I approached the desk. She wasn’t smacking gum. Or talking about doilies on the phone with some other government employee. Instead she stood up, walked across the room and quickly processed my payment – with just the right amount of non-invasive small talk.

Her: “Is it still hot out there?”

Me: “Yeah … and humid.”

Driving through Forest Acres (ahem … observing the speed limit) later that afternoon I remarked to my wife that I’d “never had such a positive experience with government at any level.”

Look, I’m sure there is unnecessary spending in Forest Acres town government. They probably beautify their streets and other such nonsense. And I’m sure there are jerks who are employed in the execution of these unnecessary functions. And obviously everybody’s experience is going to be different (depending on the situation, people’s moods, etc). And yes …

But as a cops and courts libertarian who distrusts government as a rule and who rarely, if ever, sees it discharging its basic duties competently – my experience with the Forest Acres town government was a welcome departure.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not looking to repeat my experience anytime soon, but the Forest Acres police and court personnel I interacted with during the course of my routine run-in with the law executed their core government functions superbly.

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51 comments

Frank Pytel August 14, 2013 at 9:09 am

Good Boy.

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Frank Pytel August 14, 2013 at 9:09 am

Good Boy.

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Smirks August 14, 2013 at 9:12 am

That’s one fine officer, I’m going to name my kid (insert name) after him. :P

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shifty henry August 14, 2013 at 10:27 am

Another of my Dad’s favorite jokes—
A draftee arrived at Ft. Jackson, and when getting his name tags for his uniforms, wrote “R. B. Jones” The Sarge said he must write his full name. “That’s it, just my two initials – R. B.” The Sarge tells him that he must put (only) after each initial to avoid confusion for all of his Army records. When he received his name tags they read “Ronly Bonly Jones”…..

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Oops August 14, 2013 at 12:24 pm

Funny, sure. But it has really happened. I knew an Air Force pilot who was renamed P(only) W(only).

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Smirks August 14, 2013 at 9:12 am

That’s one fine officer, I’m going to name my kid (insert name) after him. :P

Reply
shifty henry August 14, 2013 at 10:27 am

Another of my Dad’s favorite jokes—
A draftee arrived at Ft. Jackson, and when getting his name tags for his uniforms, wrote “R. B. Jones” The Sarge said he must write his full name. “That’s it, just my two initials – R. B.” The Sarge tells him that he must put (only) after each initial to avoid confusion for all of his Army records. When he received his name tags they read “Ronly Bonly Jones”…..

Reply
Oops August 14, 2013 at 12:24 pm

Funny, sure. But it has really happened. I knew an Air Force pilot who was renamed P(only) W(only).

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein August 14, 2013 at 9:16 am

TBG believes that it is sad that one’s most positive lifetime interaction with government is a speeding citation and subsequent fine.
Having said that, TBG notes that the officer and magistrate in his latest speeding escapade, also cut him some slack.
TBG wonders if the policy has changed or if Will and he were treated better because they are…um…older.

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shifty henry August 14, 2013 at 9:34 am

Could be —- or they are commentators on Fitsnews and treated Will with courtesy — or else the cop wrote the ticket to “our founding editor” ….

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Ms. Cautious August 14, 2013 at 10:10 am

As a reformed chronic speeder, I can say they usually cut people a little slack. Unless the driver or the officer is just a dick.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein August 14, 2013 at 9:16 am

TBG believes that it is sad that one’s most positive lifetime interaction with government is a speeding citation and subsequent fine.
Having said that, TBG notes that the officer and magistrate in his latest speeding escapade, also cut him some slack.
TBG wonders if the policy has changed or if Will and he were treated better because they are…um…older.

Reply
shifty henry August 14, 2013 at 9:34 am

Could be —- or they are commentators on Fitsnews and treated Will with courtesy — or else the cop wrote the ticket to “our founding editor” ….

Reply
Ms. Cautious August 14, 2013 at 10:10 am

As a reformed chronic speeder, I can say they usually cut people a little slack. Unless the driver or the officer is just a dick.

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CNSYD August 14, 2013 at 9:46 am

An all points bulletin has been issued by LE in SC. Will Folks has been kidnapped and the perps have highjacked his web site and are writing posts under his name.

Reply
CNSYD August 14, 2013 at 9:46 am

An all points bulletin has been issued by LE in SC. Will Folks has been kidnapped and the perps have highjacked his web site and are writing posts under his name.

Reply
Forest Acres rez August 14, 2013 at 10:00 am

May I suggest using your night-stick, Officer?

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Jesus H. Christ! August 14, 2013 at 10:07 am

Ha! One of My all-time favorites.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein August 14, 2013 at 10:42 am

“They called me “Agent Orange.”

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? August 14, 2013 at 3:11 pm

lol…the funny thing is that in today’s society Murphy wouldn’t have gotten the chance to suggest it under those circumstances….it would have already been done(or a taser).

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Forest Acres rez August 14, 2013 at 10:00 am

May I suggest using your night-stick, Officer?

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Jesus H. Christ! August 14, 2013 at 10:07 am

Ha! One of My all-time favorites.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein August 14, 2013 at 10:42 am

“They called me “Agent Orange.”

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? August 14, 2013 at 3:11 pm

lol…the funny thing is that in today’s society Murphy wouldn’t have gotten the chance to suggest it under those circumstances….it would have already been done(or a taser).

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nitrat August 14, 2013 at 10:06 am

I wonder how many other people get let off when they don’t have their SCDL with them?

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Smirks August 14, 2013 at 10:47 am

I’ve personally known two people to get pulled over and not have their license on them at the time, and neither got a ticket for that. Seems like an offense that you can usually not get charged for if you’re nice to the officer, but I suppose that doesn’t work for every officer/department.

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nitrat August 14, 2013 at 10:06 am

I wonder how many other people get let off when they don’t have their SCDL with them?

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Smirks August 14, 2013 at 10:47 am

I’ve personally known two people to get pulled over and not have their license on them at the time, and neither got a ticket for that. Seems like an offense that you can usually not get charged for if you’re nice to the officer, but I suppose that doesn’t work for every officer/department.

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Jay Ellington August 14, 2013 at 10:24 am

This is more heart warming than a box full of kittens.

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Jay Ellington August 14, 2013 at 10:24 am

This is more heart warming than a box full of kittens.

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The Ghost of Fat Greg Dulli August 14, 2013 at 10:24 am

This is more heart warming than a box full of kittens.

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Nölff August 14, 2013 at 10:28 am

They’ll rape you in Mauldin. Don’t drive there.

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southmauldin August 14, 2013 at 2:28 pm

Now that’s a low blow, Nolff. Though its probably true.

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southmauldin August 14, 2013 at 2:29 pm

What about the Pickens breathalyzer? I remember that story from college.

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Nölff August 14, 2013 at 10:28 am

They’ll rape you in Mauldin. Don’t drive there.

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southmauldin August 14, 2013 at 2:28 pm

Now that’s a low blow, Nolff. Though its probably true.

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southmauldin August 14, 2013 at 2:29 pm

What about the Pickens breathalyzer? I remember that story from college.

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rwwllms August 14, 2013 at 10:41 am

Is writing this government positive article part of your sentence/punishment?

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rwwllms August 14, 2013 at 10:41 am

Is writing this government positive article part of your sentence/punishment?

Reply
Crooner August 14, 2013 at 11:46 am

wait a minute- you’re working out??!!

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Crooner August 14, 2013 at 11:46 am

wait a minute- you’re working out??!!

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darksied calling August 14, 2013 at 1:05 pm

Forest Acres definitely ain’t the Independent Banana Republic of Myrtle Beach. Down here the LEO’s would first forcefully remove you from your vehicle (while your still wearing your seatbelt); perform a textbook body slam to the asphalt; taser you from behind, the whole time claiming you were not following their instructions; they would then transport to their fine centralized holding facility called J Ruben Long, where you under go a full body and cavity search, you’er then dressed in a one size fits all orange jump suit and held until one of fine members of the judical system orders you held without bond while they search your vehicle for “unauthorized” products.
I wish this was true but I had a client that went through that very process. The unauthorized product they found were two Advil’s. Bond was eventually set at $10,000–when I tried to get the charges dropped (Advil aren’t illegal last time I looked) I was told that any medicine not in its proper container could be considered violation of the various controlled substance laws and the arresting office did not want to reduce or drop the charges (hell he wanted jail time for “illegal possession” of Advil–I kid you not!!).
I’ll save everyone the details but over a year later we went to trial and it took the jury less than a hour to find my client innocent. On the way out of court a local LEO looked at me and “warned” me that I need to be careful next time I’m in Horry county. That was several years ago. I have tried several cases down there since and still have the impression that local LEO’s, lawyers and many of the judges seem to make up laws and how they will be enforced on the fly. Good thing I take my vacations out of state.

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Buncha Balmy Barney Fifes August 14, 2013 at 7:13 pm

Badged bureaucrats are lower dregs than even the worst of the simple goldbricks and incompetents.
.
.
But to the main story, wasn’t Forest Acres the department with the deviant cop, or the more notorious deviant cop? (In a Fits story of a year or two ago.)

Reply
darksied calling August 14, 2013 at 1:05 pm

Forest Acres definitely ain’t the Independent Banana Republic of Myrtle Beach. Down here the LEO’s would first forcefully remove you from your vehicle (while your still wearing your seatbelt); perform a textbook body slam to the asphalt; taser you from behind, the whole time claiming you were not following their instructions; they would then transport to their fine centralized holding facility called J Ruben Long, where you under go a full body and cavity search, you’er then dressed in a one size fits all orange jump suit and held until one of fine members of the judical system orders you held without bond while they search your vehicle for “unauthorized” products.
I wish this was true but I had a client that went through that very process. The unauthorized product they found were two Advil’s. Bond was eventually set at $10,000–when I tried to get the charges dropped (Advil aren’t illegal last time I looked) I was told that any medicine not in its proper container could be considered violation of the various controlled substance laws and the arresting office did not want to reduce or drop the charges (hell he wanted jail time for “illegal possession” of Advil–I kid you not!!).
I’ll save everyone the details but over a year later we went to trial and it took the jury less than a hour to find my client innocent. On the way out of court a local LEO looked at me and “warned” me that I need to be careful next time I’m in Horry county. That was several years ago. I have tried several cases down there since and still have the impression that local LEO’s, lawyers and many of the judges seem to make up laws and how they will be enforced on the fly. Good thing I take my vacations out of state.

Reply
Buncha Balmy Barney Fifes August 14, 2013 at 7:13 pm

Badged bureaucrats are lower dregs than even the worst of the simple goldbricks and incompetents.
.
.
But to the main story, wasn’t Forest Acres the department with the deviant cop, or the more notorious deviant cop? (In a Fits story of a year or two ago.)

Reply
CharlesDikkens August 14, 2013 at 3:45 pm

Lucky you weren’t in Columbia arguing about your dry cleaning bill.

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CharlesDikkens August 14, 2013 at 3:45 pm

Lucky you weren’t in Columbia arguing about your dry cleaning bill.

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jackie August 14, 2013 at 5:00 pm

jackie

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jackie August 14, 2013 at 5:00 pm

jackie

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? August 14, 2013 at 6:27 pm

I’m sure that 42mph was bordering on reckless. Glad to see you thankful to your masters that the chains weigh on you lightly Mr. Goldilocks Libertarian.

I love reading pieces championing prosecution for victimless crimes.

When can we expect a piece on why the drug war isn’t that bad, and winnable?

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? August 14, 2013 at 6:27 pm

I’m sure that 42mph was bordering on reckless. Glad to see you thankful to your masters that the chains weigh on you lightly Mr. Goldilocks Libertarian.

I love reading pieces championing prosecution for victimless crimes.

When can we expect a piece on why the drug war isn’t that bad, and winnable?

Reply

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