Random

North Carolina Hates Boobs

The North Carolina legislature is on the verge of passing a law banning toplessness in public. You know … because breasts are menaces which must be stopped. And only the government of North Carolina can stop them. Not surprisingly, it’s a “Republican” woman who is sponsoring this ridiculous legislation. Also…

The North Carolina legislature is on the verge of passing a law banning toplessness in public.

You know … because breasts are menaces which must be stopped. And only the government of North Carolina can stop them.

Not surprisingly, it’s a “Republican” woman who is sponsoring this ridiculous legislation. Also not surprisingly, she looks like this.

WTF, Rep. Rayne Brown? Just because you bear a striking resemblance to Mr. Ed – and the vast majority of men in the Tarheel State would probably rather be impaled by prehistoric Mammoth tusks than see your breasts – why you gotta hate? Why spoil the fun for the rest of us?

Turns out Mr. Ed … err, Rep. Brown … actually has a reason for her war on boobies. Ready? It’s because she’s concerned about breast-baring womens’ rights advocates who have been protesting in Asheville, N.C. – which isn’t even in her legislative district.

So in addition to being a killjoy, this woman (assuming Austin Powers tugs on her hair and it doesn’t come off) is also fighting against people’s right to petition the government for a redress of their grievances.

While half-dressed … in somebody else’s district.

As it stands now toplessness is legal in North Carolina. If Brown’s bill passes, however, women who show off their racks could get hit with a felony charge as well as a six-month prison sentence.

Because that’s exactly what North Carolina taxpayers should be paying for … long prison sentences for felonious breast-barers.

This bill is ludicrous. Which is probably why it “appears headed for approval” according to the Associated Press.

Next up in North Carolina? A war on cleavage …

***

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38 comments

9" February 15, 2013 at 1:30 am

Infinity Docking71 up, 48 downInfinity docking is a homosexual act where two males engage the art of docking, however in a unique position. The first male is positioned on his hands and knees. The second male then assumes the same position, although he must face in the opposite direction. The two males then grab their partner’s ankles with a firm yet sensual grasp. The two extremely homosexual and homoerotic males then create an angle of, 45 degrees with respect to the desired coordinate axis, toward each other with their pelvises. The lead and more aggressively dominant male then inserts his erect penis into the foreskin of his erect partner’s penis. Thus creating the visualization of the common mathematical symbol used to represent infinity. From this point the two males then begin to thrust gently, yet passionately, while singing Phil Collins lyrics to each other. This act continues until climax or until the two males realize how gay they are and enter a state of mental disorder.

If both males have been circumcised then a docking sleeve may be purchased and used.
Lance and Edwardo grew tired of attending the usual rusty trombone parties that occurred at Milhouse’s residence so they decided to pick up a box of wine coolers and try infinity docking.

Reply
CorruptionInColumbia February 15, 2013 at 9:12 am

OK, I’m not gay so I have to ask, why Phil Collins lyrics? I never thought that Phil was gay either, therefore the question.

Reply
Uncle Remus February 15, 2013 at 9:23 pm

I like a little Phil Collins for the mood but I am pleasuring a woman

Reply
CorruptionInColumbia February 15, 2013 at 10:00 pm

For real!!!!

Reply
Uncle Remus February 15, 2013 at 9:23 pm

This has to be one of the most troubling posts I ave ever read

Reply
CorruptionInColumbia February 15, 2013 at 10:01 pm

I agree, Uncle Remus!

Reply
9" February 17, 2013 at 2:54 pm

tits

Reply
9" February 15, 2013 at 12:30 am

Infinity Docking71 up, 48 downInfinity docking is a homosexual act where two males engage the art of docking, however in a unique position. The first male is positioned on his hands and knees. The second male then assumes the same position, although he must face in the opposite direction. The two males then grab their partner’s ankles with a firm yet sensual grasp. The two extremely homosexual and homoerotic males then create an angle of, 45 degrees with respect to the desired coordinate axis, toward each other with their pelvises. The lead and more aggressively dominant male then inserts his erect penis into the foreskin of his erect partner’s penis. Thus creating the visualization of the common mathematical symbol used to represent infinity. From this point the two males then begin to thrust gently, yet passionately, while singing Phil Collins lyrics to each other. This act continues until climax or until the two males realize how gay they are and enter a state of mental disorder.

If both males have been circumcised then a docking sleeve may be purchased and used.
Lance and Edwardo grew tired of attending the usual rusty trombone parties that occurred at Milhouse’s residence so they decided to pick up a box of wine coolers and try infinity docking.

Reply
CorruptionInColumbia February 15, 2013 at 8:12 am

OK, I’m not gay so I have to ask, why Phil Collins lyrics? I never thought that Phil was gay either, therefore the question.

Reply
Uncle Remus February 15, 2013 at 8:23 pm

I like a little Phil Collins for the mood but I am pleasuring a woman

Reply
CorruptionInColumbia February 15, 2013 at 9:00 pm

For real!!!!

Reply
Uncle Remus February 15, 2013 at 8:23 pm

This has to be one of the most troubling posts I ave ever read

Reply
CorruptionInColumbia February 15, 2013 at 9:01 pm

I agree, Uncle Remus!

Reply
9" February 17, 2013 at 1:54 pm

tits

Reply
Manfred February 15, 2013 at 3:42 am

I nominate Ashley “D-cup” Landess — as State “Think of These When You’re Blue” mascot.

Runner-up: Catherine “C-cup.”

Thanks for this comic relief, FITS.

PS: What’s with the book? How dark are Nik’s nips?

Reply
Manfred February 15, 2013 at 2:42 am

I nominate Ashley “D-cup” Landess — as State “Think of These When You’re Blue” mascot.

Runner-up: Catherine “C-cup.”

Thanks for this comic relief, FITS.

PS: What’s with the book? How dark are Nik’s nips?

Reply
Smirks February 15, 2013 at 9:16 am

I like a nice rack, but let’s face it, 99 times out of 100, public nudity tends to involve people you’d rather not see naked, and that’s a damn shame. Clearly we need a grassroots movement of incredibly hot women to balance the ratio. You know, for the good of society, or something.

Reply
shifty henry February 15, 2013 at 11:04 am

Smirks, you are on to a good idea – just send us an application to your new political party —- NIPPLES FOR PIPPLES (like us), or BOOBS FOR BOOBS (like us).
However, I like women’s breasts of all shapes and sizes, from grievous disappointments to jubilant surprises!

Reply
Smirks February 15, 2013 at 8:16 am

I like a nice rack, but let’s face it, 99 times out of 100, public nudity tends to involve people you’d rather not see naked, and that’s a damn shame. Clearly we need a grassroots movement of incredibly hot women to balance the ratio. You know, for the good of society, or something.

Reply
shifty henry February 15, 2013 at 10:04 am

Smirks, you are on to a good idea – just send us an application to your new political party —- NIPPLES FOR PIPPLES (like us), or BOOBS FOR BOOBS (like us).
However, I like women’s breasts of all shapes and sizes, from grievous disappointments to jubilant surprises!

Reply
neil February 15, 2013 at 10:38 am

I’ve seen the ones she’s talking about going topless in downtown Asheville. The sentence should be much longer than 6 months for inflicting those on the public. We’re not talking about the two hotties at the top. The ones being shown up there would make a national geographic boob look sexy.

Reply
Uncle Remus February 15, 2013 at 9:19 pm

Can u submit photos?

Reply
neil February 15, 2013 at 9:38 am

I’ve seen the ones she’s talking about going topless in downtown Asheville. The sentence should be much longer than 6 months for inflicting those on the public. We’re not talking about the two hotties at the top. The ones being shown up there would make a national geographic boob look sexy.

Reply
Uncle Remus February 15, 2013 at 8:19 pm

Can u submit photos?

Reply
shifty henry February 15, 2013 at 11:06 am

Boobies do not make the world go round ????

Contrary to popular belief, scientific research shows strong evidence that boobies DO make the world go round. This research was performed in response to several angry responses to an earlier discussion stating, “Why boobies won’t save the world.”

Boobies don’t pay the bills –
This has been ardently disproved with examples such as strippers, porn stars, and Playboy bunnies having been cited and referenced by us.

Boobies have no medicinal effect, either on the psyche or general medical health –
This was instantly disproved by several women who claim the following, in summation: “The important thing to remember about men is that no matter what they are complaining about, whether its that they hate their jobs, their backs hurt, or they feel like their lives are ‘empty and meaningless’, popping a singular booby in the mouth of an ailing man not only makes him feel much better but also ceases his incessant complaining.” Boobies are proven to have a 99% effectiveness rating against placebo with most non-lethal illnesses, even alleviating chronic muscle and joint pain.

Boobies have no bearing on the gravitational axis or orbital motion of the earth –
causing it to factually ‘go round’ – A weight-to-gravitational-force equation was compiled at MIT (Physics): R={(b2)+(e)}{S+T}3 – where R=rotation, b=total world weight of boobies, e=everything else, S=Spin velocity and T=axis angle. Using this equation it’s easy to see that if all the boobies on Earth suddenly disappeared, the instantaneous loss of so much mass would cause the Earth’s rotational speed to jump 29.6 Miles-per-second in the space of 2 seconds, effectively sending the axis angle out of balance with the density of Earth and causing it to break off its axis and spin into the Sun. So, conclusively, while boobies do not literally make the world go round, their presence does prevent us all from being hurtled to a fiery cataclysmic demise.

So, in conclusion, the magnitude of the effect that boobies have on our everyday lives should not be downplayed or under-estimated. Please remember to support your local boobies, because without them, the citizens of earth would be the main course at an intergalactic luau.

Reply
Observant February 15, 2013 at 8:30 pm

But See: The Origin of the World (Fine Art)

File:Origin-of-the-World.jpg

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Size of this preview: 725 × 599 pixels. Other resolutions: 290 × 240 pixels | 581 × 480 pixels | 726 × 600 pixels | 929 × 768 pixels | 1,239 × 1,024 pixels.

Full resolution ?(2,854 × 2,359 pixels, file size: 2.63 MB, MIME type: image/jpeg)

Reply
Uncle Remus February 15, 2013 at 9:20 pm

Talk about bush!

Reply
shifty henry February 15, 2013 at 10:06 am

Boobies do not make the world go round ????

Contrary to popular belief, scientific research shows strong evidence that boobies DO make the world go round. This research was performed in response to several angry responses to an earlier discussion stating, “Why boobies won’t save the world.”

Boobies don’t pay the bills –
This has been ardently disproved with examples such as strippers, porn stars, and Playboy bunnies having been cited and referenced by us.

Boobies have no medicinal effect, either on the psyche or general medical health –
This was instantly disproved by several women who claim the following, in summation: “The important thing to remember about men is that no matter what they are complaining about, whether its that they hate their jobs, their backs hurt, or they feel like their lives are ‘empty and meaningless’, popping a singular booby in the mouth of an ailing man not only makes him feel much better but also ceases his incessant complaining.” Boobies are proven to have a 99% effectiveness rating against placebo with most non-lethal illnesses, even alleviating chronic muscle and joint pain.

Boobies have no bearing on the gravitational axis or orbital motion of the earth –
causing it to factually ‘go round’ – A weight-to-gravitational-force equation was compiled at MIT (Physics): R={(b2)+(e)}{S+T}3 – where R=rotation, b=total world weight of boobies, e=everything else, S=Spin velocity and T=axis angle. Using this equation it’s easy to see that if all the boobies on Earth suddenly disappeared, the instantaneous loss of so much mass would cause the Earth’s rotational speed to jump 29.6 Miles-per-second in the space of 2 seconds, effectively sending the axis angle out of balance with the density of Earth and causing it to break off its axis and spin into the Sun. So, conclusively, while boobies do not literally make the world go round, their presence does prevent us all from being hurtled to a fiery cataclysmic demise.

So, in conclusion, the magnitude of the effect that boobies have on our everyday lives should not be downplayed or under-estimated. Please remember to support your local boobies, because without them, the citizens of earth would be the main course at an intergalactic luau.

Reply
Observant February 15, 2013 at 7:30 pm

But See: The Origin of the World (Fine Art)

File:Origin-of-the-World.jpg

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Size of this preview: 725 × 599 pixels. Other resolutions: 290 × 240 pixels | 581 × 480 pixels | 726 × 600 pixels | 929 × 768 pixels | 1,239 × 1,024 pixels.

Full resolution ?(2,854 × 2,359 pixels, file size: 2.63 MB, MIME type: image/jpeg)

Reply
Uncle Remus February 15, 2013 at 8:20 pm

Talk about bush!

Reply
jimlewisowb February 15, 2013 at 2:54 pm

Just wanted to see if edit feature works

Reply
jimlewisowb February 15, 2013 at 1:54 pm

Just wanted to see if edit feature works

Reply
Same ol' Same ol' February 15, 2013 at 5:41 pm

I have to say, whatever the two lovelies in this picture are looking for, I will gladly assist.

Reply
Same ol' Same ol' February 15, 2013 at 4:41 pm

I have to say, whatever the two lovelies in this picture are looking for, I will gladly assist.

Reply
ELCID February 15, 2013 at 7:21 pm

UGLY WOMEN LIKE THIS OLD GAL SHOULD PUT AWAY FOR GOOD IF THEY GO NAKED IN PUBLIC. WHAT AN EYE SORE: UGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!

Reply
ELCID February 15, 2013 at 6:21 pm

UGLY WOMEN LIKE THIS OLD GAL SHOULD PUT AWAY FOR GOOD IF THEY GO NAKED IN PUBLIC. WHAT AN EYE SORE: UGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!

Reply
Doesnt matter February 15, 2013 at 8:00 pm

just curious… is it illegal to post pictures to a website containing nudity in SC? If so, then the picture above this article would not be ok. Anyone know?

Reply
Doesnt matter February 15, 2013 at 7:00 pm

just curious… is it illegal to post pictures to a website containing nudity in SC? If so, then the picture above this article would not be ok. Anyone know?

Reply

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