Prioleau Alexander: Your Taxpayer Dollars At Work

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Like so many MAGA conservatives, I can’t stop laughing at the level of corruption already uncovered by DOGE, the hysterical meltdown amongst the Congressional Left and the boldfaced lies being told by the entities that got caught with their hands in the cookie jar. 

That will last only so long, though, as laughter will soon turn into anger.

Americans are going to want to know: What are the actual names of the Congressional whores who put these things into a bill? What are the names of the people who handled these transactions? Why didn’t one single person ever step forward as whistle blower? And are they aware the Nuremberg Trials neutered the “I was just doing my job” defense? 

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Before long, that anger will turn to rage – and it’s not going to be enough to simply uncover and stop the largest theft in global history. Hundreds of elected and permanent Washington individuals need to be tried by RICO statutes and sent to prison. And not Club Fed, either. Like, “get-raped-for-breakfast” prison.

I suppose if I’m surprised about anything, it’s that the guilty didn’t even try to hide it. How can a carbon-based life form be so stupid, that they actually noted – in writing, on a computer owned by the federal government – that they spent $1 million to find out if transgender rats receiving hormone therapy were more likely to overdose on a date rape drug?

Why not call it a “Protect Against Date Rape” study? Think of the hubris – these festering chunks of bureaucratic cancer were so sure they were protected by the Swamp Corruption Machine, they didn’t even bother to lie.  

At an entirely different level of hubris, all of them were already told on November 5th, “We the people utterly and completely reject everything you commies support. We elected Donald Trump, and he promised to launch the DOGE, which will be run by the smartest man alive, with the sole purpose of rooting out corruption, fraud and waste.”

“Suck it,” seems to be what was the bureaucrats unified response.

If I knew Elon Musk was going to audit a budget I was involved in, I’d have my ass at Office Depot the next morning buying a case of BIC pens in case I’d accidentally carried some home at some point. These idiots did nothing. At least criminal-in-chief Hillary Clinton had the sense to delete 30,000 emails and smash the staff’s phones with a hammer… and hell, she knew going in that the FBI was going to acquit her.

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What will cause the shift from laughter to anger to rage? Well, consider the fact DOGE has only been at it for one week! Imagine what they’re going to find when they audit the FBI, CIA, ATF, DOJ, IRS, and Treasury. And it’s not just going to financial fraud — they’re using artificial intelligence to search these clouds and data bases. If you did a search through all those Alphabet Agencies for the term “prevent Trump from,” how many criminal cases do you think you’d find? Hell, since it’s AI, they can tell it, “locate all uses of the name Trump, and provide a paragraph explaining why the name was used in each case.”  

It boggles my mind that liberals are actually angry about this rotor-rootering of government fraud. Hey, I understand elected Democrats and high-level bureaucrats crapping in their Depends, because it’s their corruption being uncovered — and they’re looking at tall time on Cellblock 4Q. But a rank-and-file liberal? To have zero concern that all the taxes they’ll pay in their entire life are going to implement DEI practices in Serbian businesses?

If I had to guess why they have this irrational stance, I’d point to their chosen sources for news. After all, the DNC typists and teleprompter readers have a virtual blackout on the fraud. Of course, it seems Politico and The Associated Press were being bribed with tax dollars, so it stands to reason there are lots of others accepting the payola. Their careers, and possibly their freedom, are based on that DOGE blackout. 

Liberals, however, will soon have a place to point their never-ending anger about reality, when DOGE starts ferreting out the Republicans on the take. There will be plenty, and the Leftist media can zero in on them. 

Regarding this, Democrats can spare themselves of the tedium of watching Rachel Maddow bleat and simply switch to conservative media. Rest assured, crooked Republicans will be equally crucified by us — perhaps even more so, because we were actually betrayed. We’ve known elected Democrats are nothing more than Highwaymen since Slick Willy defiled the Oval Office.

DOGE has discovered that during Trump’s presidency — earlier this month — four FEMA employees circumvented the President’s orders and wired $59,000,000 to hotels in New York to house illegal immigrants. Us conservatives think that’s peachy-keen… for the first step of the process, which ends with them in prison. These people didn’t violate a policy — they stole our money, and they damn sure better end up sitting in the dock. 

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While the elected and bureaucrat streetwalkers have clearly helped themselves to billions out of the gargantuan no-one-will-notice budgets, let’s not forget there are tens of billions of dollars in the less-sexy budgets: National Institutes of Health, the Federal Drug Administration, the Center for the Biomedical R&D Authority, Center for Disease Control, the USDA, the EPA, and the Interstate Commerce Commission. You can bet your ass there’s been a sewer-load of plunder down in these basements.

This is the greatest scandal in the history of the United States, with the Robber Barons being second. Most people understand that behind most great fortunes, there is a greater crime… but those are private sector fortunes. To come to realize that America’s “public servants” have been laundering money into their own accounts is, indeed, unthinkable.

I find myself once again humored by my own naivete… I never took the time to think beyond “waste, fraud, and abuse,” as I felt they were the worst governmental descriptions possible. It never dawned on me that “outright theft” should be in there as well.

An example of outright theft?

Let’s consider the hilarious case of fraud mentioned earlier: $1,000,000 spent to see if transgender rats receiving hormone therapy are more likely to overdose on a date rape drug.

Who would put that into a spending bill, or spend it out of an “open-ended” pre-approved budget? There is literally nothing on the face of the earth that could be a bigger waste of money. Sure, it could be tied with 1,000,000 other projects, but nothing could be worse. So why do it? Allow me the analogy below:

In 1987, Anheuser-Busch decided they needed a TV commercial featuring its Clydesdales marching across a classic New England covered bridge. Naturally, they didn’t use one of the thousands of bridges available… they built one in Keystone, Colorado, about ten minutes from the ski resort.

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Having spent 20 years of my life in that general field, let me say that if I was the producer/director… and I was trying to screw Anheuser-Busch out of every penny possible, like pushing it to the bleeding edge, I could not have dragged that shoot out more than five days.

Oddly enough, Anheuser-Busch took three months to shoot it. This is because every executive high enough to have even a corner office needed to come and supervise. Give input to the creative team. Then spend the next seven days on an all-expense paid skiing trip with their families. 

Oh, but don’t fault Anheuser-Busch for being the only public company crooks — using “marketing” as the slush fund is going on in every public company in the world. Every company in your 401k is plundering your profits as fast as they can.  

Why? Because they’re spending someone else’s money on something that doesn’t matter, and the people whose money it is aren’t allowed to know what it’s being spend it. 

This is the private sector at its worst – unless you’re a Big Business executive who likes to ski.

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But… let’s go back to “outright theft” in the mysterious case of the date rape rats… and ponder that decision with the Anheuser-Busch model in mind.

How did the federal employee know the researcher?

Was the location of the research facility somewhere fun? 

Did, at any point, any federal employee visit the site to check on things? 

If they did, were they experienced enough in rat research to provide feedback?

And if they did, does that Fed have receipts showing they spent their per diem paying for food, lodging, and dollars to stick in the stripper’s garter?

Is their research replicable, and presented in a way that allows for peer review?

It just spirals down from there. And none of it will ever be investigated because it’s “only” $1,000,000. Of course, the payments for this “research” will be stopped, and we can have the slight satisfaction of knowing the fraud won’t continue.

But that’s not nearly enough for me. Not even close. And when you realize this theft – like hundreds of thousands of similar schemes – was expressly designed to deprive you of your hard-earned money so that someone who knew someone could laugh all the way to the bank, I’ll bet you feel the same way. And I’ll bet you’ll want those who received – and appropriated – all of that money to be held accountable.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR …

Prioleau Alexander is a freelance writer, focusing mostly on politics and non-fiction humor. He is the author of four books: ‘You Want Fries With That?,’ ‘Dispatches Along the Way,’ ‘Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?‘ and ‘They Don’t Call It The Submission Process For Nothing.’ 

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