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Amy Feinstein’s Southern Charm Recap: Exes On The Half-Shell

by AMY FEINSTEIN || Most of tonight’s drama took place in and around Naomie Olindo’s father’s new restaurant “Nico” in Charleston, South Carolina.  Naomie had a bad week last week, exploding all over Bravo TV newbie Peyton.  Ah, but this is Southern Charm, the land of redemption, and Naomie is seeking a do-over, complete with…

by AMY FEINSTEIN || Most of tonight’s drama took place in and around Naomie Olindo’s father’s new restaurant “Nico” in Charleston, South Carolina.  Naomie had a bad week last week, exploding all over Bravo TV newbie Peyton.  Ah, but this is Southern Charm, the land of redemption, and Naomie is seeking a do-over, complete with specialty drinks and shellfish.

We’ve all had those moments Naomie, but try counting to ten before yelling “thirsty bitch” next time darlin!  You are forgiven, though, because your French is exquisite!

Speaking of French, Thomas Ravenel – the man labeled “Pepe Le Pew” by Patricia Altschul – is back, with his competences francaises fabuleuses that he breaks out on Monsieur Olindo, their host at Nico’s. Ravenel plays Casanova to poorAshley Jacobs’ face, but his confessionals say something different, as does his demeanor when Kathryn Dennis walks in the room.

Poor Ashley is making life plans about weddings and babies, and Thomas is checking the bus schedule to see when he can ship Ashley out of town.

“I can understand Kathryn not wanting to spend this special moment with this woman who may or may not be in my life for a very long time,” he says.

Yikes!

Then Thomas jokes about Ashley taking Kathryn’s man and children away, followed by more creepy uncle cackling.  Laugh along Ashley!  You won’t be laughing when you hear all of his confessionals.

Naomie has the whole gang to her father’s restaurant, “Nico” for a soft opening, and Kathryn shows up looking fab in all black.  Thomas can’t resist, leaving Ashley (who?) behind and licking his lips as he approaches his prey, I mean, Kathryn.

Kathryn gets the double kiss and the exclamation.

“Look at you! You look great!”

Ya think?

(Click to view)

(Via: Provided)

Ashley sees Thomas admiring the view and walks over to supervise him.  But Kathryn makes the mistake of telling Thomas she likes his pocket square.

Uh oh, hear it comes …

Thomas makes the mistake of telling Kathryn that the French call a pocket square une pochette, which sadly is wrong (it’s une poche). But anyway, then she gets to hear a story about une poche that causes one to throw up in one’s mouth.

“The bigger the Casanova, the bigger the ‘pochette.’ In French when the husband gets bored with the wife he takes a lover, and they use [their hanky] to clean up after (cue hand motion of shining his board). The bigger the pochette the bigger the…”

Yes, Thomas Ravenel just told his ex, in a restaurant, with his current girlfriend standing by that he could sneak out to have sex behind his wife’s back and use his hanky to clean up his balls after.  Classy!

So Thomas, after you clean up, do you tuck that hanky back into your pocket?  Nothing like a 55-year-old man making penis jokes.

Kathryn calls him dirty, and he laughs, looking embarrassed.  Then Kathryn and Thomas practice saying je t’aime to one another while Ashley stays silent, hoping Thomas will remember she is there.

At dinner, Ashley turns it up when the oysters arrive and Thomas makes the requisite aphrodisiac comment.

“We don’t need that!” Ashley states loudly.

In her confessional, Kathryn says she thought she might be bothered seeing Thomas with someone else, but she gives zero fucks.  Thank goodness for that!

I’m sorry, I still say Kathryn and Shep Rose make a much better couple. How things would have been different if Shep’s swimmers got by the goalie!

Amy Feinstein is a native of Baltimore, Maryland, and has been writing professionally for 25 years. She has a degree in English literature and a degree in British history. Amy enjoys writing about entertainment, sports, lifestyle, television and movies. When not at the computer, Amy can be found in the garden or at yoga class.

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