Judge’s Husband Accused Of “Poking” Lawmaker

TENSION IN JUDICIAL ELECTION RAMPS UP … || By FITSNEWS ||  The husband of one of the candidates in an increasingly contentious judicial race in South Carolina has been accused of “poking” a state lawmaker.  And not a social media “poke” either … we’re talking about a literal, honest-to-God, finger-to-the-chest”poke.”…


|| By FITSNEWS ||  The husband of one of the candidates in an increasingly contentious judicial race in South Carolina has been accused of “poking” a state lawmaker.  And not a social media “poke” either … we’re talking about a literal, honest-to-God, finger-to-the-chest”poke.”

Multiple sources tell FITS John McAllister – husband of South Carolina administrative law judge Carolyn C. Matthews – poked left-leaning S.C. Rep. Craig Gagnon in the chest during a heated dispute that stemmed from the latter’s decision to voter for Bill Funderburk, the husband of Gagnon’s colleague S.C. Rep. Laurie Slade Funderburk.

McAllister denies it … telling FITS all of his interactions with state lawmakers have been devoted to “bringing sunshine on (Funderburk).”

“I have never poked anyone in the chest, that I remember,” McAllister told FITS. “I was disappointed that he had committed to Carolyn’s opponent. I said that he should do what he has to do … I later asked him to reconsider.”

Ok, now … who are these people?  And why does this judicial race matter so much?  We’re not sure, but apparently it’s a major deal … as ever since we first reported on it, it’s gone nuclear, attracted mainstream media attention and even prompted a (hypocritical) threat from governor Nikki Haley.

According to the governor the race is an example of nepotism at work … which we agree with.  Others claim it is a battle against a corrupt judicial branch that protects its own.


One lawmaker who is supporting Matthews told FITS her husband’s antics – while disappointing – won’t sway his vote.

“I don’t care about the drama or the nepotism or the governor weighing in,” the lawmaker said.  “The only thing I care about is (Funderburk) is a liberal with a record of being unfriendly to business.”

That perspective was affirmed by S.C. Senator Katrina Shealy – a pro-free market lawmaker who told FITS she was supporting Matthews.

Gagnon, incidentally, was one of a handful of “Republican” lawmakers who voted themselves a pay raise last year (in deceptive fashion, we’d point out).

So … is this race finally breaking down along ideological lines?

Because if so that would represent a dramatic improvement over the current debate – which has been as acrimonious as anything we’ve witnessed at the S.C. State House in recent years.

“Debate is healthy,” a lobbyist watching the process told FITS.  “This … not so much.”

Amen to that …

Lawmakers will cast their ballots for Matthews or Funderburk on Wednesday.  Sources following the vote tell FITS the count remains “extremely close.”

Our view on all this?  Once again, state lawmakers have proven they cannot be trusted to faithfully discharge the duty of selecting South Carolina’s judges – which leads us to reiterate our previous calls for them to be stripped of said responsibility.



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Grab and twist February 3, 2015 at 10:58 am

It’s very easy to break the finger of someone poking you in the chest and an immediate cure for aggression on the part of the poker.

Manray9 February 3, 2015 at 10:59 am

Nothing says class like being a member of the SC legislature.

Nölff February 3, 2015 at 11:14 am

Steak tar tar eating thugs.

Bible Thumper February 3, 2015 at 11:09 am

“The husband of one of the candidates…”
Only one? Really! I’m glad that was clarified.
If this was a reality show, there would be an easy solution. Group Sex in the hot tub.

jimlewisowb February 3, 2015 at 11:13 am

“poking” in my neck of the woods carries a lot of connotation most of which involves stumps/ cows and sheep

nice to read that our beloved Fucking Cockroaches are getting in touch with their natural instincts

Halfvast Conspirator February 3, 2015 at 11:19 am

I thought this said “porking” and wondered if it was “that” kind of “porking” or just spreading some from the barrel around.

Callin' 'em February 3, 2015 at 12:01 pm

I wonder if he would deny every poking a dude in the ass? Under polygraphy?

erneba February 3, 2015 at 12:47 pm

As much as I dislike a lefty, there is absolute no excuse anyone could tender for physically confronting anyone over one’s choice in such a matter. The egos in the State House must be so big that they walk around all day bumping into each other.

Centrist View February 3, 2015 at 1:13 pm

Actually, it wasn’t “poking”, but the Hokey-Pokey the were doing.

And, that’s that’s what it’s all about.

nitrat February 3, 2015 at 2:41 pm

“…we’re talking about a literal, honest-to-God, finger-to-the-chest”poke.”
Well, thank goodness, as the owner of a nice selection of Victorian erotica and a fan of ‘Lonesome Dove’ , I thought you might have meant something else

Town Crier February 3, 2015 at 3:14 pm

Johnny is a goob from the sticks. He needs his wife’s political connections to keep the grease on the wheel. His ego is prolly still smarting after losing out years ago on that planned development of flood-prone land next to the Congaree River.

enpassant February 3, 2015 at 4:11 pm

The SC legislature is where southern families with old money send their children, primarily to keep them from ruining the family business. McAllister is not a poker, this is just another politician running his mouth to back his buddy. Good thing too because I doubt anyone in the state house could handle anything more than a gentle tap.

Lance One Nut February 3, 2015 at 4:50 pm

After much deliberation, I’ve decided to run for South Carolina Chief Justice. Will swap yellow jerseys for votes

Judgement Day Cometh February 3, 2015 at 7:40 pm

Unauthorized body contact – a form of battery – criminal offense = 30 days in jail. Arrest the sack of shit. I would. Just file a criminal complaint, and go take out a warrant afterwards.


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