SC

Letter: SC Woodchucking

RE: SC House Race Pits Stepmom Vs. Stepdaughter Dear Editor, Candidate Questions for Wood vs. Wood political debate. Q: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: A woodchuck could chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck can’t chuck wood. Q: But if…

RE: SC House Race Pits Stepmom Vs. Stepdaughter

Dear Editor,

Candidate Questions for Wood vs. Wood political debate.

Q: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A: A woodchuck could chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck can’t chuck wood.

Q: But if a woodchuck could chuck and would chuck some amount of wood, what amount of wood would a woodchuck chuck?

Q: Even if a woodchuck could chuck wood, and even if a woodchuck would chuck wood, should a woodchuck chuck wood?

A: A woodchuck should chuck wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood, so long as a woodchuck would chuck wood.

(Have your kids recite this 3X.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNSKXyk5OyU

Jim Kappler
Anderson, SC

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16 comments

shifty henry March 31, 2014 at 11:05 am

Hmmm, wish I had invented “Cut & Paste” – I would be $RICH$..!!

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein March 31, 2014 at 12:27 pm

Hey Shifty, If we email our best jokes to FITS, maybe we’ll get our own column, eh?

Reply
shifty henry March 31, 2014 at 1:32 pm

A weekly column, sort of like “Crossfire”… Will can give us a subject and we can take opposite sides or points of view. Sort of like the TV program, or one of those Shakespeare Festivals where someone is on a stage (I don’t remember the circumstances that get them up there) and the only way to get off the stage is to please the crowd with jokes or stories. When the crowd doesn’t like something there are barrels of little pickles they can throw. Good fun — but messy!

Reply
CorruptionInColumbia March 31, 2014 at 2:21 pm

“When the crowd doesn’t like something there are barrels of little pickles they can throw. Good fun — but messy!”

So that’s what they were really there for? All this time, I was stuffing them in the front of my pants, hoping to impress chicks. :-(

Reply
shifty henry March 31, 2014 at 2:51 pm

How sad for you — they use the small ones about 3 inches long.

CorruptionInColumbia March 31, 2014 at 3:08 pm

Very sad, buy hey, they did make it look like I had more than I started out with.

shifty henry March 31, 2014 at 3:47 pm

Neddie Noodle nipped his neighbor’s nutmegs.
Did Neddie Noodle nip his neighbor’s nutmegs?
If Neddie Noodle nipped his neighbor’s nutmegs,
Where are the neighbor’s nutmegs Neddie Noodle nipped?

TontoBubbaGoldstein March 31, 2014 at 4:50 pm

How many figs could a fig plucker pluck if a fig plucker could pluck figs?

shifty henry March 31, 2014 at 5:52 pm

If to hoot and to toot a Hottentot tot be taught by a Hottentot tutor, should the tutor get hot if the Hottentot tot hoot and toot at the Hottentot tutor?

shifty henry March 31, 2014 at 6:02 pm

TBG, let’s run this one by euwe max — he’s got all the statistics…

shifty henry March 31, 2014 at 3:56 pm

A guy with five penises walks into a doctor’s office. Curious, the doctor asks him how his pants fit. “Like a glove,” he answered.

TontoBubbaGoldstein March 31, 2014 at 3:07 pm

SUMBEECH!!!!

You’re supposed to put them in the front?

That explains a lot…

shifty henry March 31, 2014 at 4:18 pm

Adam was naming all of the animals when he came to the elephant. The elephant looked down at Adam and asked, “How do you breathe through that thing?”

TontoBubbaGoldstein March 31, 2014 at 5:00 pm

Years ago TBG took his girlfriend and her 5-6 year old son to Riverbanks Zoo.
Seeing the elephant exhibit the tot asked his mommy;

What is that?

“An elephant “, she replied.

Stomping his feet and rolling his eyes he whined, “I KNOW that. What is that long thing?”

“Why, that’s the elephant’s trunk…”

“NO, MOMMY ….behind it?”

“That’s his tail.”

“NO MOMMY….UNDERNEATH!!!!!”

Mommy blushed and mumbled, “Oh…that. That’s nothing.”

TBG whispered in her ear,

“Dayum, I’ve got you spoiled.”

The Colonel March 31, 2014 at 12:27 pm

Is there a point to this?

Reply
Centrist View March 31, 2014 at 5:33 pm

And you don’t think this SC House District 37 GOP Primary edition of Family Feud won’t get any sillier?

Reply

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