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Jessica Chastain Is A “Thirty”



It’s inexcusable, really … our failure to pick up on intoxicating scent that is Jessica Chastain, star of the new Kathryn Bigelow movie Zero Dark Thirty.

Seriously … we love redheads. And have a freckle fetish. How on earth did Chastain manage to elude us for this long? We don’t know. That’s a question that ranks right up there with “how did Osama bin Laden elude justice for so long?”

Clearly this website has wasted tons of ink on pop sluts like Lindsey Lohan when we could have been devoting attention to real actresses …

Chastain, a 36-year-old Sacramento, California native, slipped in underneath our radar like a pair of next generation stealth helicopters. In fact we watched The Help less than a year ago but for the life of us we honestly can’t say we remember anything about it (except it made us scratch at our white guilt itch again). We also loved The Debt but for the life of us couldn’t figure out why.

Now we know … it was Chastain.

The same cannot be said of Zero Dark Thirty, which achieves its riveting balance of tension and release almost exclusively on Chastain’s shoulders – eschewing political statements for gritty realism and graphic violence. We loved it – and Chastain – immediately. Her conventional attractiveness and rock hard body are nice to look at it, but she’s got the intangibles we dig … an aura that is only amplified by her ginger status.

Anyway, enjoy … and sorry for the delay. Although we think you will agree the wait was well worth it.


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