SC

Groper Alert: Joe Biden Is Coming To SC

U.S. President Barack Obama continues to avoid South Carolina like the plague, but he’s got no problem dispatching his No. 2 to the Palmetto State whenever local Democrats need a guest groper … err, speaker. Biden – whose friskiness with the ladies was on full display earlier this year –…

U.S. President Barack Obama continues to avoid South Carolina like the plague, but he’s got no problem dispatching his No. 2 to the Palmetto State whenever local Democrats need a guest groper … err, speaker.

Biden – whose friskiness with the ladies was on full display earlier this year – will deliver the keynote address at the S.C. Democratic Party’s Jefferson/ Jackson dinner later this spring. The wanna-be 2016 presidential contender – who is spearheading the Obama administration’s “War on Guns” – has been enjoying an elevated profile of late. In addition to his crusade against the Second Amendment, the Delaware liberal also led the Obama administration’s negotiations during the fiscal cliff deal – which of course led to massive tax hikes for upper- and lower-income earners.

Neither of those efforts were mentioned in the S.C. Democratic Party release touting Biden’s appearance.

“Vice President Biden has been leading the fight to restore faith in the legislative process in Washington while at the same time protecting middle class families,” Harpootlian said in the release. “His steady hand has helped President Obama through some of his toughest challenges and he is an inspiration to all South Carolinians regardless of political affiliation.”

Wait … what?

Biden’s got a “steady hand” alright … two of them, actually.

Just make sure to keep them away from your guns, your money and your wife …

***

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26 comments

Smirks March 25, 2013 at 9:57 am

This should be fun. Come on Biden, dig out another gold nugget of comedy for us!

Reply
Smirks March 25, 2013 at 9:57 am

This should be fun. Come on Biden, dig out another gold nugget of comedy for us!

Reply
Jay March 25, 2013 at 10:08 am

Wow, Harpootlian is a larger idiot than I had originally surmised.

Reply
Jay March 25, 2013 at 10:08 am

Wow, Harpootlian is a larger idiot than I had originally surmised.

Reply
You know me March 25, 2013 at 10:09 am

Like him or not, he is the real deal. Says what he thinks as opposed to what he’s supposed to say. Gotta respect it.

Reply
Bubbas Brother March 25, 2013 at 10:35 am

I think you meant “…what he says when he doesn’t think…”

“Stand up Chuck!”

“His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And- although, she’s- wait- your mom’s still- your mom’s still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul.”

“If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30% chance we’re going to get it wrong.”

“Look, John’s last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs.”

And I could go on all day…

Reply
You know me March 25, 2013 at 10:09 am

Like him or not, he is the real deal. Says what he thinks as opposed to what he’s supposed to say. Gotta respect it.

Reply
The Colonel (R) March 25, 2013 at 10:35 am

I think you meant “…what he says when he doesn’t think…”

“Stand up Chuck!”

“His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And- although, she’s- wait- your mom’s still- your mom’s still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul.”

“If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30% chance we’re going to get it wrong.”

“Look, John’s last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs.”

And I could go on all day…

Reply
jimlewisowb March 25, 2013 at 10:43 am

You see this finger, yes this finger that I am holding up right now as we speak

Well, trust me, this is the same finger I stuck up Jim Clyburn’s asshole to confirm he was not sitting on the $27,000,000 that has vanished from SC State

Now, I don’t know what happened to the $27,000,000 but I can tell you one thing for sure.

I have 7 more fingers and 2 thumbs but I ain’t going to look for that $27,000,000 any more

Reply
shifty henry March 25, 2013 at 12:08 pm

Ooops! I forgot to look in his refrigerator ——-

Reply
9" March 25, 2013 at 7:22 pm

Have you smelled your finger,lately?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qx0DjFw3ST8

Reply
jimlewisowb March 25, 2013 at 10:43 am

You see this finger, yes this finger that I am holding up right now as we speak

Well, trust me, this is the same finger I stuck up Jim Clyburn’s asshole to confirm he was not sitting on the $27,000,000 that has vanished from SC State

Now, I don’t know what happened to the $27,000,000 but I can tell you one thing for sure.

I have 7 more fingers and 2 thumbs but I ain’t going to look for that $27,000,000 any more

Reply
shifty henry March 25, 2013 at 12:08 pm

Ooops! I forgot to look in his refrigerator ——-

Reply
9" March 25, 2013 at 7:22 pm

Have you smelled your finger,lately?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qx0DjFw3ST8

Reply
shifty henry March 25, 2013 at 10:54 am

Of course, you can trust me! I’m the real deal!

Reply
shifty henry March 25, 2013 at 10:54 am

Of course, you can trust me! I’m the real deal!

Reply
Crazy Whore March 25, 2013 at 12:20 pm

BigT must have found a job in this Obama economy…

Reply
Crazy Whore March 25, 2013 at 12:20 pm

BigT must have found a job in this Obama economy…

Reply
tomstickler March 25, 2013 at 12:43 pm

Nikki has been doing a lot of hugging lately.

Reply
tomstickler March 25, 2013 at 12:43 pm

Nikki has been doing a lot of hugging lately.

Reply
shifty henry March 25, 2013 at 12:58 pm

Governor Nikki Haley has just announced that she is “looking forward to a private meeting with Vice-President Joe Biden in the hopes that we can get a grip on pressing matters of mutual interest .”

Reply
shifty henry March 25, 2013 at 12:58 pm

Governor Nikki Haley has just announced that she is “looking forward to a private meeting with Vice-President Joe Biden in the hopes that we can get a grip on pressing matters of mutual interest .”

Reply
This just in . . . March 25, 2013 at 1:25 pm

Scalia Says Marriage Views Not Affected by Lifelong Fear of Gays

(The Borowitz Report) — As the Supreme Court prepared to hear two cases involving same-sex marriage this week, Justice Antonin Scalia said that he would not allow his votes to be influenced “in any way” by his lifelong fear of gays.

“As Justices of the Supreme Court, we have a sacred duty to check our personal feelings at the door,” he told the Fox News Channel. “In my case, that means putting aside my longstanding and profound fear of homosexuals.”

Justice Scalia added that he was committed “to safeguarding the rights of all Americans — even those I personally find terrifying.”

“I take my role as an impartial arbiter very seriously,” he said. “So when I hear a case, I put all feelings of abhorrence, disgust, and revulsion completely out of my mind.”

The Justice said that when it came to the issue of same-sex marriage he would rely on the Constitution, “which makes no mention of gays whatsoever.”

“Remember, when the framers wrote the Constitution, there were no gays in America,” he said. “They didn’t come here until the nineteen-sixties.”

All in all, he said, advocates of same-sex marriage should rest assured that he will listen to this week’s arguments with an open mind: “I’m going to apply the same robust sense of fairness that I’ve brought to cases involving blacks and women.”

Reply
This just in . . . March 25, 2013 at 1:25 pm

Scalia Says Marriage Views Not Affected by Lifelong Fear of Gays

(The Borowitz Report) — As the Supreme Court prepared to hear two cases involving same-sex marriage this week, Justice Antonin Scalia said that he would not allow his votes to be influenced “in any way” by his lifelong fear of gays.

“As Justices of the Supreme Court, we have a sacred duty to check our personal feelings at the door,” he told the Fox News Channel. “In my case, that means putting aside my longstanding and profound fear of homosexuals.”

Justice Scalia added that he was committed “to safeguarding the rights of all Americans — even those I personally find terrifying.”

“I take my role as an impartial arbiter very seriously,” he said. “So when I hear a case, I put all feelings of abhorrence, disgust, and revulsion completely out of my mind.”

The Justice said that when it came to the issue of same-sex marriage he would rely on the Constitution, “which makes no mention of gays whatsoever.”

“Remember, when the framers wrote the Constitution, there were no gays in America,” he said. “They didn’t come here until the nineteen-sixties.”

All in all, he said, advocates of same-sex marriage should rest assured that he will listen to this week’s arguments with an open mind: “I’m going to apply the same robust sense of fairness that I’ve brought to cases involving blacks and women.”

Reply
Soft Sigh from Hell March 25, 2013 at 7:15 pm

An unabashed groper? No problem. This is Strom’s state. A couple generations of comly white girls and ladies got groped by ol’ Strom here.

Reply
Soft Sigh from Hell March 25, 2013 at 7:15 pm

An unabashed groper? No problem. This is Strom’s state. A couple generations of comly white girls and ladies got groped by ol’ Strom here.

Reply

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