SC

Jakie Knotts Is Mulling A Gubernatorial Bid

LIKE … FOR REAL Former S.C. Senator Jakie Knotts – the fiscally liberal Boss Hogg caricature who was ousted from his State Senate seat by reformer Katrina Shealy last month – is mulling a bid for governor, sources tell FITS. Sources say Knotts is livid with S.C. Gov. Nikki Haley…

LIKE … FOR REAL

Former S.C. Senator Jakie Knotts – the fiscally liberal Boss Hogg caricature who was ousted from his State Senate seat by reformer Katrina Shealy last month – is mulling a bid for governor, sources tell FITS.

Sources say Knotts is livid with S.C. Gov. Nikki Haley for helping Shealy’s campaign – and wants to get back at her by siphoning votes away from her in a general election.

To do that, the rotund “Republican in Name Only” must first survive a federal investigation into the “Lexington Ring,” a cabal of corrupt politicians and crooked cops said to be running an illegal video poker operation out of Lexington County.  And based on what we’ve heard, it’s even money as to whether Knotts – who is said to be among the leaders of the “ring” – will be wearing an orange jumpsuit come 2014.

Knotts was recently hired as a consultant by “Magic Minutes,” a company selling prepaid calling cards from vending machines as a pretext for facilitating video poker.  The machines have been declared illegal in several South Carolina counties – but not Lexington.

Obviously Knotts’ candidacy would be a joke … a bad one.  In fact we suspect rather than accomplishing its intended objective of depriving Haley of some minuscule sliver of support, his bid might actually generate a few thousand sympathy votes for the embattled governor.

Seriously … if Knotts wants to hurt Haley he needs to do one thing: Disappear.  Of course we don’t see that happening anytime soon …

***

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57 comments

Spelling patrol December 7, 2012 at 4:42 pm

You mispelled Goobernatural

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The Colonel December 7, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Don’t we have a bus he can be pushed, pulled, dragged or winched under?

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Tammy December 7, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Take Joe Wilson with you!

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Yo Ho Ho and a Bourbon on Butler December 9, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Ditto that. And take the Lexington town council with you too. They’ve all forgiven Danny and he’s back in the thick of things. I suppose if you have immunity you don’t give a shit. Just turn in all your friends.

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Mike Stefonick December 7, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I think I will make a run for it and bring a casino to Beaufort County.
I live on Hilton Head Island.
Check out HiltonHeadCasino.com

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Knott December 7, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Jake will give Haley the election if he runs. No, we need ONE CANDIDATE to defeat Haley in the primary. The more candidates that run, the more likely Tricky Namrata will win.

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vicupstate December 7, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Nikki would still have to win the RUNOFF!

If Knotts were the grenade thrower in the campaign, and Loftis stayed out of the mud, Loftis would benefit from the mud but not be stained by it.

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Carpe Jugulum December 7, 2012 at 5:32 pm

We live in South Carolina! Home of South Carolina State University and the worst educational system in America! It can happen! Jake could snatch the rag right off her! I mean off her head of course! Jake is the Ben Tillman of our generation. Run Jake!Run!

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Josh N December 7, 2012 at 9:50 pm

South Carolina, the home of that loser JOE WILSON.

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Kelly J December 9, 2012 at 11:45 pm

“Loser” is being kind.

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Roxy December 7, 2012 at 5:51 pm

If Nikki received an opponent in the general, say as an independent, that pretty much hands Sheheen a victory.

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BigT December 7, 2012 at 6:00 pm

He can put FITS on the Ticket as his Lt.

Slogan: “Grits and FITS 2014”
Brothas of another Motha!

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The Colonel December 7, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Brother of another species… pig and orangutan

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Johnson December 8, 2012 at 8:59 am

That’s his goal.

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Dice Man December 7, 2012 at 6:11 pm

HAILLL YAHHH!

Now that’s what I am talking about. This is one fight I’d love to see.

Now the resulting gubernatorialship, on the other hand…………….

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9" December 7, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Is this pathetic,or what? Fits is suffering from PTSD,and his heart still belongs to Nikki.Victims will often love/hate their abusers,and obviously,his sick fucking love for the cunt continues…

He helped get us into this mess just to bust a nut,but the psychological damage that’s been done to him,in this Oedipal’ nightmare,may never be repaired or resolved.

New Blog name:FITS.DAMAGED.FORLIFE.

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Old Bike Dude December 8, 2012 at 6:34 am

Seems so, huh.

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Bulldawg01 December 7, 2012 at 8:26 pm

I would vote for Jakie #00001

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Fred December 7, 2012 at 9:08 pm

I’d vote for ANYONE or ANYTHING if it meant Haley would hit the road!

I’ve already sent my E-mail to Sheheen pledging my support.

I encourage all of you to do the same!

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Butch Sux December 7, 2012 at 9:44 pm

I would only vote for Nimrada if the only other choice was Joe Wilson. He lies and so does his little pit bull Butch. No more Wilson’s!

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Robert December 7, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Knotts would add some comedy to an otherwise sad situation….SC politics.

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Colbert December 7, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Total bullshit. I guess sic really is just waiting to see how bad the Lexington Ring really is. But when he gets his ass kicked for making up this bullshit, he will figure out he’s messing on the wrong side of the river!

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Starman December 7, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Knotts, Joe Wilson, Halfacre, Metts, Myers, Leggett Tyndall, MacDougall, are all idiots nd morons and are an embarrassment to Lexington. Knotts needs a boot up his ass and the others need to be put out to pasture.

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Mad December 7, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Jakie is a complete dumb shit who just does not know when to stay down. Jakie you not only have embarrassed Lexington County, the State of South Carolina, yourself, and your family with little gen pool there is, you now think that you can win an entire State after Katrina straight up punched you in the dick in the district you yourself drew out.

Come on Jakie!! Losing your power as a senator you can not extort money from people and businesses anymore? Oh that is right, illegal gambling industry is the only one that will still tolerate you, but hear that is coming to end soon.

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Slim Pickings December 7, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Jake and JOE. Both complete dumb shits.

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Raspy December 10, 2012 at 8:56 am

Maybe Lexington County Council can raise our taxes again this year and Metts can hire Jake as a Legislative liaison with a handsome salary. Isn’t that what happened with Frazier?

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Lee Bates December 7, 2012 at 9:35 pm

What a crock of shit from this POS.

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JENNIFER D SUCKS December 7, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Knotts is incompetent boob and doesn’t deserve any attention as a disgraced, has-been LOSER. Just like Jennifer.

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Patko December 8, 2012 at 12:14 am

colonel, you should have more respect for Jakie’s ethnic heritage. you don’t push him under a bus. that would be too cosmpolitan. respect his heritage. push him under a dilapidated, rusting single-wide. one of the old still-towable ones with the hitch on the front and wheels still on the body.

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The Colonel December 8, 2012 at 7:32 am

I’ve given this consideable thought since I first wrote about the whole bus thing (maybe two seconds). Jakies’ so rotund that we’d probably have to find one of those monster mudder trucks to drive over his “mountain of gelatinous goo” body.

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George December 8, 2012 at 5:45 am

Yes! South Carolina needs a governor like Knotts. I hope he wins and keeps the laughs coming.

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Old Bike Dude December 8, 2012 at 6:37 am

What the fuck has she reformed?

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stfu December 8, 2012 at 8:28 am

Sure why Knott.

The Reality TV show that is this State would eat up Jakester running around to every county telling the local GOP what the hypocrites they elect really do and how much they depended on him.

This scares so many people shitty it is a great thing.

He has every right to run, he has every right to tell all the State just how dirty all those “other” pious fucks are in the GOP>

Do it Jake, but do it right, and dare FITS to publish 1/10th of the shit you could tell.

Gov Glenn in charge of the B and C, Nikki running naked up and down K street and Ambasswhore Row, Jake running for Gov, really, could it get any more entertaining.

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Soft Sigh from Hell December 8, 2012 at 10:42 am

It is indeed pretty much the logical extension of the present trend.

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junior justice December 8, 2012 at 9:51 am

stfu: forget Nikki running naked

colonel & patko: what about filling Jakie with hot air and floating him like those huge gorillas that float over car lots

just thinkin’

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The Colonel December 8, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Best idea yet!

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WorkingTommyC December 8, 2012 at 10:25 am

Sounds like Jakie’s good buddy, liberal Dem Vincent Sheheen is putting him up to this. Turns out he’s just a shill for the Democrats after all.

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Johnson December 8, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I agree with this theory 100%.

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Soft Sigh from Hell December 8, 2012 at 10:44 am

Jakie’s “throwing his fat into the ring,” to paraphrase the old saw.

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Soft Sigh from Hell December 8, 2012 at 11:41 am

I think Maurice (God condones slavery) Bessinger should be his running mate for Lt. Gov.

If we are going to be a state-size clown show for the nation, we might as well go whole hog, so to speak.

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Ivy Malone December 10, 2012 at 7:49 am

Maurice Bessinger ran for Governor many years ago. I remember he campaigned by riding around on a white horse wearing a white suit and cowboy hat. It was really funny.

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Ralph Hightower December 8, 2012 at 12:34 pm

NNBHN! Not No! But Hell No!
If I could’ve, I would’ve voted for Jakie in the Senate race. After all, South Carolina doesn’t need another Nikki Haley acolyte in the General Assembly.

But Jakie Knotts for Governor?

Please, let’s vote someone that’s intelligent in for governor. Vincent Sheheen?

Gawd knows, South Carolina has had its share of damned dumb governots over the past 20 years: Haley, Sanford, Beastley, Hodges.

Let’s do something right for a change!

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Ralph Hightower December 8, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Oh, in the second primary for Sanford, I voted for Oscar Lovelace. Lovelace’s attitude of servant leadership is how governors should govern.

Instead of using the office of governor to promote themselves to higher levels in politics, they should be asking “How can I make this a better state for the citizens?”

Of course, we all know that Governot Nikki Haley is buffing up her resume, or rather bamboozling the nation with her fictional autobiography “Can’t is not an Option”. If only the national press visited South Carolina instead of hearing Governot Haley on her political junkets to the various states.

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shifty henry December 9, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Good post – you got it right!

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? December 8, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Hate to say it, but Jake Knotts is the perfect representation of the average South Carolinian in our state.

He would be the pinnacle of voting nirvana and *success* for the electorate.(for them)

Nikki Haley was simply an anomaly under a weak slate of R primary candidates that happened to be perceived as an *outsider* to the establishment at the right time in SC.

Of course, many of the poor souls voting for her didnt realize she would become a member of that establishment in her own special way.

Sheheen is fooling himself if he think he will ever get elected as a Dem.

If he had any brains he would drop the label and run as a petition or I candidate(however it works in our weirdly run state elections) and distance himself from the Dem albatross while still capitalizing on the anti-establishment sentiments.

You simply can not win as a Dem in regionally large state elections here.

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Old Bike Dude December 9, 2012 at 4:35 pm

If Sheheen ran as a Petition candidate, could he count on Nimmy Boo Boo’s support and PAC money.

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? December 10, 2012 at 8:57 am

lol…a la Katrina Shealey?

Doubtful…although I’ll bet she’d do it for spite if she knew she was gonna lose to fatboy; she’d probably find a way to slide Sheheen some cash for a political favor down the road.

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Mud Puppy December 8, 2012 at 10:07 pm

No more governors from Lexington County. That place is the land of the lost. What a bunch of losers and Knotts is at the top of the dung heap.

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sam December 9, 2012 at 8:36 am

If it’s him against Haley, he’s got my vote.

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Morty Wadsworth December 9, 2012 at 5:25 pm

I hope Jakie runs—I love watching that big tub of glop make a fool of himself. The Statehouse ain’t gonna be that much different without him, not as long as that gasbag John Courson (who reminds us every 12 minutes that he served in the Marine Reserves) is still up there playing footsie with Darrell, Joel, and all of his other liberal buds, making fools of all those old fart Confederate worshippers who are stupid enough to think he’s a conservative just because he slaps up a few CSA flags in his office. Jakie is a doofus, but asses such as Courson (Mr. Education) are the real dangers to this state.

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truth seeker December 9, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Machines seized in bust of alleged Columbia home-gambling operation

Police seize machines in alleged operation

By Mindy Lucas – mlucas@thestate.com

COLUMBIA, SC — An officer responding to neighbors’ complaints of drug activity at a north Columbia-area home found more than just marijuana on the premises.

The complaint led to the seizure of nine gambling machines at a residence on Mt. Vernon Street in what was an apparent home-gambling operation.

The incident occurred Thursday after a Columbia Police Department officer went to the home near Hyatt Park Elementary School to check out complaints of drug activity, a department incident report states.

Video from around the world

After arriving at the residence, the officer smelled marijuana coming from inside the home. The officer asked if he could search the residence and was given permission by the home’s occupant, Lillian Johnson, the report states.

The officer found marijuana in a closet, but also spotted six gambling machines in a bedroom and three more in a dining room – all in plain view, the report states.

Johnson told investigators she did not own the machines though she was operating them in her home for cash proceeds. Johnson told police another person came by the residence regularly to check on the machines. Johnson had a key to all of the machines’ locks in her possession.

In addition, Johnson had a small amount of cash in her purse at the home, which she told officers was used to pay individuals who played and won on the machines.

Johnson, 51, was arrested on gambling charges and simple possession of marijuana. She was taken to the Alvin S. Glenn Detention Center.

Columbia Police Department spokeswoman Jennifer Timmons said officers with the department are continuing to investigate.

turnip4u

Now how about all the ones in Lex county in the trailers. I hear these trailers are rampant with Mary Jane being grown, women available for rent and poker machines. Why are they not being busted? Who is looking the other way? Do we need Fed. help?

Curious if the gambling machines are from “East Coast Vending Universal, Magic Minutes”? Brett Blanks or Flynn? I guess it does not really matter which illegal gambling company they are from, Jakie Knotts, James Metts and Danny Frazier are involved in them one way or the other…

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Jasper Davis December 9, 2012 at 11:37 pm

And Alan Wilson, our Attorney General is doing NOTHING. It’s hard when your family is in the mud with Jakie.

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Soft Sigh from Hell December 9, 2012 at 5:44 pm

I’d love to see Jake run. I’d rather have someone else as governor, but no one could make the campaign more interesting. And in it he would probably bring up some actual important matters that others would like to gloss over. Finally, if the campaign headed into the mud, his store of throwable dirt is possibly without equal in breadth and stench.

Let the games begin!

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Popcorn Sutton December 9, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Well, I slept in cause DarlaKept me up last night , but anyhow, Jakie will get all my votes.
Seriously, now that My boy has figured out that the Rawls cannot keep. him in office, I think he may be ready to
Do the right thing, so get moving. Now, what, oh gotta go, there’s a. Lebanese that needs killing. Oh! AGerman too, what, oh ok.

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junior justice December 9, 2012 at 11:52 pm

Whaaaaa ???

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Roscoe December 10, 2012 at 9:01 am

May the only draft Jakie feel come from the doors of prison closing on his crooked rear end!

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junior justice December 10, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Could he get his ass through the door? If he goes, he will probably get a job in the kitchen just to be able to eat the leftovers! If he wears a striped uniform, the stripes would have to be vertical!

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