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A New Year cometh, and with it the aging of our American children. Some will even make the leap from 17 to 18, and low and behold, enjoy the sacred right to vote. They will help choose our future leaders, and those leaders will steer the course of the Republic for generations to come.
When I was a kid — maybe 12 years old — I wasn’t sure whether I was a Democrat or a Republican… conservative or liberal… logical or brainless. I asked my Dad how one decides, and he pulled out a newspaper article about an upcoming race. This was back when The (Charleston, S.C.) Post and Courier didn’t run cover for Democrats, and challenged each candidate to indicate their actual stance on specific issues.
“Read this, and see who you agree with,” he said.
I read the opposing platforms, did the calculations in my head, and finally said, “I agree with this guy. The other one is stupid.”
“The guy you agree with is Republican,” he said. “Welcome to the party.”
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That was quite a lesson for such a young lad, and I wish it could be available to youngsters these days. It’s certainly easy to see what Republicans stand for, but with Democrats? Let’s just say Kamala Harris ran for President, and despite pleadings from even the Leftist media, refused to commit to a single new policy or idea — unless “joy” is a policy.
To benefit those of you with up-and-coming young adults, I thought I’d provide a helpful guide. It’s really quite simple: If you agree with the concepts and policies below, you’re a Democrat…
- I believe that a straight man with a penis and a beard should be able to use the women’s locker room, if he is willing to say, “It’s okay—I’m gender fluid, and I was a woman when I was in there.”
- I believe that it’s too easy to buy a gun in America, but it’s good that Joe Biden pardoned his drug-addicted son for breaking one of the laws intended to make buying a gun harder.
- I believe it is a good idea for Biden to sell off the material for the border wall — already paid for by taxpayers — at a fraction of the cost, even though taxpayers are going to have to buy all of it again.
- I believe that a girl who thinks she’s a boy should use the boy’s bathroom, and tax dollars should be spent to put tampons in the boy’s room.
- I believe we should replace police with social workers, because most criminals are just confused and just need someone understanding to talk to.
- I believe white children should be taught that they are hateful racists, there’s nothing they can do about it, and they should suffer educational and professional prejudice as a result.
- I believe all books should be available to children in the school library, including ones that describe the anal rape of a little boy.
- I believe if a child is confused about what sex they are, but one of the parents refuses to play along with it, the state should prevent that parent from seeing their child.
- I believe anyone should be able to move to America, even if they are in a murderous gang, or have been convicted of rape.
- I believe gasoline, natural gas, and diesel fuel should be made more and more illegal and expensive each year, even if it devastates the middle-class and working poor.
- I believe speech that offends me, or I disagree with, should be illegal.
- I believe if a baby has been in its mother’s womb long enough to survive on its own, but the mom decides the baby will inconvenience her, the mom should be allowed to murder it.
- I believe it is a good thing to pay poor women to have babies, but if she gets married we should stop the payments.
- I believe that if a group of people is really unhappy, it is acceptable for them riot, burn, and loot businesses.
- I believe that if I work hard in school and graduate college with a 4.0, a less qualified minority woman should get the job I want.
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- I believe that a company I’ve entrusted with investing my money should be able to lose my money on purpose by investing in companies based on their politics, not their profitability.
- I believe someone with a 12th grade education who plays dress-up-and-pretend for a living is a good source for political insights.
- I believe that anyone with different political opinions than me is filled with hate.
- I believe that if someone refuses to take an untested injection of a drug, they should lose their job and be put in jail.
- I believe someone whose life has been destroyed by a natural disaster doesn’t deserve help if they think differently than me.
- I believe men should be able to compete in women’s sports.
- I believe that if there’s list of politicians and celebrities that might have raped underage girls, that list should not be released by the government.
- I believe that Christian children should not be allowed to form a group and meet at school.
- I believe the scientific method of questioning scientific beliefs in a quest to uncover new truths is valid, unless it is “settled science” like “the Covid vaccines were safe and effective,” and “Global Warming is caused by humans and cow farts.”
- I believe that if my personal doctor wants to prescribe a legal drug to cure me of an illness, the government should be able to stop him.
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- I believe that the Founding Fathers, who’d just conducted a successful revolution against a tyrannical government, made possible because everyone owned their own guns, did not want Americans to own their own guns in case the American government became tyrannical.
- I believe Christians who love America and think Judeo-Christian ethics should guide the governments decisions are the greatest danger to America.
- I believe parents who are angry at their local school board and raise their voices at a meeting should be labeled as domestic terrorists.
- I believe the protests on January 6, 2021 were a literal attempt to overthrow the government with the most powerful army in the world, even though no protestors had guns.
- I believe it is fine that the United States has been without a functioning president for over a year, and that no matter how mentally ill a president is, if they are a Democrat they shouldn’t ever be replaced by their VP… unless they are dead.
Okay, Kiddos… here’s the deal. If you agreed with 90% of the above, you are a liberal progressive… but you are not a Democrat. In order to be a Democrat, you must agree 100% with everything “the Party” says, no matter how absurd.
This can be awkward, because when speaking to a conservative, you must argue viciously and at great volume that:
- A man can have a baby.
- You yourself are a racist and look down on everyone who’s not White, and there’s nothing you can ever do to change that.
- I believe we should have open borders to allow anyone to move here, as long as I don’t have to provide them food and shelter in my home.
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“Those ideas are absurd,” you might be thinking. “No one believes that.”
But, young mind, here’s the thing: You’re right. No one sane believes those things… but because the Democrats in DC and the liberal media state them as fact, you must pretend to agree.
Still don’t believe that’s what it takes to be a Democrat? Research the past 16 years, and tell me many how many times Democrats didn’t vote 100% in lockstep, no matter what the issue..
When the Republicans recently booted their Speaker of the House, the first candidate under consideration was a moderate Republican. For the Democrats in Congress, a moderate Speaker would be a dream come true!
Did they say, “Hell yes!” and vote for him?
No. The Democrat leaders thought it was more important to “embarrass” the Republicans than do something that would actually help their cause… and 100% voted not to support him. It would have only taken a handful of them to say, “This is bullshit. A moderate is a good thing for us. I’m voting yes.”
Nope. Not one of them would vote that way, because they were told how to vote… and they always obey.
The guy who eventually became Speaker was more conservative, but the Democrats didn’t care. They are too stupid to see the right or smart thing to do.
So, it’s time to decide! Are you a Democrat?
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR …
Prioleau Alexander is a freelance writer, focusing mostly on politics and non-fiction humor. He is the author of four books: ‘You Want Fries With That?,’ ‘Dispatches Along the Way,’ ‘Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?‘ and ‘They Don’t Call It The Submission Process For Nothing.’
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8 comments
Most of this is just nonsense, but I will say this. I have never met a MAGA Republican who I consider a real Christian with Christian ethics. I have met a lot of MAGA Republicans who claim to be Christian and have made up a lot of rules and ethics they claim are Christian, but in fact, are not remotely Christian. I do think people who think they are Christian and want to force on the rest of us their made-up Christian ethics and values, are a danger to the Country and freedom.
Christ’s ethics are love for all, self-sacrifice for others, helping the poor, treating the sick, feeding the hungry, welcoming the stranger, acting for the good of others in Christ’s name, living a life of hope, faith and charity, and lighting the path to salvation by caring for and not judging others.
Christ’s ethics are the exact opposite of everything Trump stands for and everything his followers are. And yes some of that is judging, but Christ said judge not lest ye be judged. MAGA Republicans judge, belittle, hate, bully, and criticize others constantly; especially those who try to lead a true Christian life of love and service. They are selfish, immoral, and proud of it. So they should expect to be judged.
All Christians don’t act like Christians. Very rational and non-judgmental. By the way, true Christians do expect to be judged, just not by people like you.
I would have to ask the simple question if a person who claims to be a Christian does not act like a Christian, is he a Christian? Perhaps one of the most evil things one can do is claim to be a Christian and not “act like a Christian.” It turns people from Christ. It makes the work of bringing salvation to the world more difficult.
If someone who does not claim to be a Christian does not act like a Christian, that is a Christian opportunity. A lost sheep to be found. But the man who claims to be a Christian and does not act like a Christian brings distrust upon all Christians.
Those who judge others should expect judgment from others. Christ’s warning about judgment was not about judgment by God. We will all be judged by God, Christian and non-Christian; saint and sinner. I am not sure how those who say they are Christian but do not act like Christians expect that to come out. Maybe in their heart, they don’t care because they don’t really believe the teachings of Christ.
I think that when Donald Trump was asked if he had ever asked Christ for forgiveness, He said no. Is it possible for him to be a Christian without seeking forgiveness of sin? Yet he claims to be a Christian. This type of hypocrisy drives people from Christ.
How to tell if you’re a SC Democrat:
You run for the Senate with an R after your name.
I answered nah to the questions.
I have voted independently; I’ve voted Republican and Democrat.
I voted for the loser of the Nixon/McGovern race. I just won’t tell you who I voted for. Up until 2018, I’ve split my choices for president, Senate and House. In 2015, I assessed Trump as an effing idiot; his traits include pathological lying, pigheadedness, immaturity, hypocrisy, tyrany, and a whiner. I don’t see Trumpism dieing anytime soon, so in 2018, I will continue to vote straight Democrat; which means that I can’t vote for county council since the “Republican” party in the general election.
So you’re an “I’m with her” kinda guy….
If you removed all your references to sex and gender issues, you might have more room to touch on the most important ones that should concern all Americans: Does character, honesty, religious belief, empathy, decency, regard for the rule of law, and putting country and fellow citizens above self actually matter in a public official? Judging by the man that the Republicans Party elected to lead the country for the next four years, those issues are way, way down the list.
Maybe we should ask Shit Show Joe and his Hoe!