SC

About That USC Trustee Arrest …

IT “AIN’T NO THANG BUT A CHICKEN WANG …” By FITSNEWS  ||  University of South Carolina trustee Chuck Allen wasn’t drunk when he was detained by a S.C. Highway patrolman at 3:00 a.m. on December 18 following a collision – he was having a medical emergency. At least that’s what the…

IT “AIN’T NO THANG BUT A CHICKEN WANG …”

By FITSNEWS  ||  University of South Carolina trustee Chuck Allen wasn’t drunk when he was detained by a S.C. Highway patrolman at 3:00 a.m. on December 18 following a collision – he was having a medical emergency.

At least that’s what the prominent Anderson, S.C. attorney told his hometown paper, The Anderson Independent-Mail.

Specifically, Allen says he suffered from a “hypertensive episode seizure” on the morning of his arrest.  Oh … Allen’s story also involves one of our favorite foods of all-time: The chicken wing.

Allen’s arrest – first reported online by FITS – was picked up by the Independent-Mail  three days later.  Since then, numerous outlets have covered the story … relying heavily on a police report filed in the aftermath of the incident by S.C. Highway patrolman Edward Clark.

According to Clark, he responded to a dispatch report on the collision in Anderson County – at which point he found the USC trustee in the driver’s seat of his Chevy Silverado eating chicken wings.

What flavor?  Sadly, the report doesn’t specify …

Anyway, Clark proceeded to ask Allen what happened …

“He replied, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying as his speech was mumbled,” the patrolman wrote in his report.

“I asked Mr. Allen several more times what was going on,” Clark’s report added.  “He continued to eat and did not respond to my questions.”

In Allen’s defense, chicken wings are absolutely delicious … so …

Following his arrest, Allen was transported to a local hospital where he refused evaluation.  He was then booked at the local detention center and released on his own recognizance.

***

Related posts

SC

Greenville County ‘Docu-Drama’

Will Folks
SC

South Carolina Victims’ Rights Rally: Is Real Judicial Reform Coming?

Dylan Nolan
SC

Lowcountry City Councilman Embroiled In Disc Jockey Drama

FITSNews

58 comments

If it's just gossip now... December 28, 2014 at 4:33 pm

Could you bring Taylor back. At least she’s unintentionally amusing.

Reply
Mike at the Beach December 28, 2014 at 4:59 pm

“Unintentionally amusing.”

That’s quality!

Reply
shifty henry December 28, 2014 at 7:25 pm

— also Mande, please (sighing)

Reply
9" December 28, 2014 at 10:16 pm

I don’t like her.She’s conceited.

Reply
shifty henry December 28, 2014 at 10:36 pm

……but she’s purty!

Reply
Yack! December 29, 2014 at 12:17 am

If you’re elderly.

Timmy Tebow December 29, 2014 at 10:32 am

I agree. She needs to bring that ‘come hither’ avatar back too.

shifty henry December 29, 2014 at 10:51 am

You bet! I did save her main foto and use it as my desktop display when she has an article. I do the same for Liz. Just a small distraction to keep my little grey cells jumping around during the day.

Buz Martin December 28, 2014 at 8:15 pm

Soon as I started to like Taylor, she’s gone.

Reply
Bible Thumper December 28, 2014 at 4:39 pm

Chuck is going to get a pass on this. He wasn’t observed driving. Most drunks are slur but talkative, not mumblers. No mention of open container.

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein December 28, 2014 at 4:59 pm

He wasn’t observed driving.

Bingo.

If it was a single car wreck with no witnesses and he keeps his mouth shut…it won’t even be heard. In fact…if even he TOLD the officer he was driving, before he was Mirandized, it still won’t go to trial.

Doubtful that TBG has ever eaten chicken wings at 3:00am when alcohol wasn’t involved, though.

Reply
euwe max December 28, 2014 at 6:31 pm

Always have a chicken wing with spicy sauce in your mouth when you blow into a breathalyzer – it’s common street wisdom.

Reply
FastEddy23 December 28, 2014 at 7:22 pm

Those peppermint Altoids do it, too.

Reply
shifty henry December 28, 2014 at 8:19 pm

Bad Breath — that’s why the cops didn’t keep him in jail. But I wonder what happened to the rest of his chicken wings? Maybe he didn’t want the cops to eat them so he was scarfing them down.

TontoBubbaGoldstein December 28, 2014 at 8:57 pm

PRO TIP:
Never blow into a Breathalyzer.

Reply
euwe max December 29, 2014 at 12:00 am

I like to inhale silver nitrate, and then lodge an inter-tracheal vent with activated charcoal filter in my throat before I open the window…

“good evening officer… I am your father…”

Jalapeno Poppers December 29, 2014 at 11:54 pm

Did you mean amyl nitrate?

Ssooter December 28, 2014 at 4:57 pm

Drunk as a skunk or as a ——-coot.

Reply
Guest December 28, 2014 at 5:27 pm

Were the keys in the ignition?

Reply
Uncle Grand Tango lll December 28, 2014 at 5:48 pm

Trying to imagine eating chicken wings while having a stroke. I may have been stroking and eating chicken wings once while watching a flick but the hot sauce can cause a problem there.

Reply
shifty henry December 28, 2014 at 7:16 pm

Damn! You beat me to that comment..!!

Reply
Bible Thumper December 28, 2014 at 11:25 pm

If you aren’t careful about the time of comments, someone might think you are responding to the hot sauce – monkey spit comment. After it is a day old, nobody knows unless it is indented.

Reply
shifty henry December 29, 2014 at 12:04 am

It can be funny, or odd, because I’ve noticed it too. A few times (only a few) I have edited a comment so that the following one, relating to an earlier comment, appears to be complimenting mine.

Reply
Bible Thumper December 29, 2014 at 12:13 am

I sort comments by newest, which causes the confusion.

9" December 28, 2014 at 10:22 pm

Back in the 70’s,hot sauce was popular at sex parties,but after the monkey spits,you’ll need to put your dick on ice for a while.You’re welcome.

Reply
1689 December 28, 2014 at 6:03 pm

Never knew chicken wings were a high blood pressure medication. Perhaps my doctor will change my Lotrel prescription Buffalo Wings. I think he’s holding out on me.

Reply
Buz Martin December 28, 2014 at 8:17 pm

I’mma keep some in the fridge for medical emergencies. Honey mustard sauce, and lots of it.

Reply
shifty henry December 28, 2014 at 8:57 pm

I can’t wait — I just can’t wait until Monday morning when I can start buying shares in every Hooters in the South. The run on chicken wings will be phenomenal..!!

Reply
shifty henry December 28, 2014 at 8:59 pm

I don’t eat any chicken at KFC since I discovered that they started their own special breed of chickens about six years ago. They have four legs, but no heads!

Reply
Texas Pete December 28, 2014 at 6:13 pm

Godamn, those wings must have been spicy!

Seriously, why the fuck was he eating wings at three in the morning driving at his age?

Reply
shifty henry December 28, 2014 at 9:04 pm

Is there a ‘shirt cam’ video of him sitting in his car and eating those wings? That’s one I’d like to see…

Reply
jimlewisowb December 28, 2014 at 6:51 pm

Wait a minute now ! – Years ago there was the Twinkie Defense out in California – Why not a Chicken Wing Defense in South Carolina

Based on over 60 years of experience I can tell you the perfect Chicken Wing is still out waiting to be eaten

Personally I have ignored family functions, employment responsibilities, potential of sexual encounter and almost certain death in the pursuit and consumption of the perfect Chicken Wing

If by chance if Mr. Allen found the perfect Chicken Wing at 3 AM on the day he was arrested, he should not be prosecuted by the courts nor persecuted by posters on this site

Mr. Allen should be escorted to the State Capitol to tell all residents of South Carolina where to find the perfect Chicken Wing and bestowed the Order of the Palmetto by the Great Governor of South Carolina forthwith

Reply
shifty henry December 28, 2014 at 7:21 pm

Make it the SC official “Food To Eat While Driving” — (better than eating the State insect, reptile, etc…..) PS: road kill doesn’t count.

Reply
9" December 28, 2014 at 10:27 pm

You’re extremely intelligent,and I love you too much.

Reply
Halfvast Conspirator December 28, 2014 at 7:13 pm

He might have been smokin some wacky terbacky and had the munchies

Reply
Just Cocky December 28, 2014 at 7:19 pm

If it had been a Clemson Trustee, would have been overdose of chitterlings and poke salad.

Reply
FastEddy23 December 28, 2014 at 7:20 pm

Isn’t driving while eating [greasy wings or whatever] as distracting as driving while smart-phoning?

Reply
shifty henry December 28, 2014 at 7:23 pm

Yes Sir, you are correct! The danger is trying to lick the runny juices off your nose and chin, and don’t even think about dropping one in your lap!

Reply
FastEddy23 December 30, 2014 at 2:03 pm

… or hot coffee … or a hot toddy …

Reply
Bible Thumper December 28, 2014 at 11:56 pm

The phone can’t block your wind pipe.

Reply
Squishy123 December 28, 2014 at 9:14 pm

“hypertensive episode seizure”, that sounds like something that would be dangerous to have and be behind the wheel of an automobile. He should have his licenses suspended until he can prove that it’s safe for him to operate a motor vehicle.

Reply
jimlewisowb December 28, 2014 at 9:31 pm

I know this is “off topic” but perhaps someone knows the answer

The High Sheriff of Berkeley County was arrested early this weekend.

According to the Newsless Courier in the Holy City “……..Berkeley County Sheriff H. Wayne DeWitt was granted a personal recognizance bond Sunday night in Moncks Corner on charges that he left the scene of a wreck while driving drunk.

Judge James Polk said he issued the unsecured bond because DeWitt was arrested by the South Carolina Highway Patrol and not a coroner, which is the only position legally empowered to arrest a sheriff in the state …..”

Was not aware that only a “coroner” could arrest a South Carolina Sheriff

Was not aware “coroners” had any arrest powers

Also if the Highway Patrol had no arrest authority then why didn’t the Judge dismiss the case

Maybe I need to stop eating wings

Reply
nitrat December 29, 2014 at 9:05 am

It is indeed frightening to know funeral home directors aka coroners have arrest powers.

Of course, if Judge James Polk is a magistrate, he may not know who can arrest who.

Reply
The Twilight Zone December 28, 2014 at 10:39 pm

case of the munchies after smoking a few joints or trying to cover the alcohol on his breath?

Reply
shifty henry December 28, 2014 at 10:56 pm

Quotes from various authorities on the question, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
————————
Al Gore: “ He never made it. With all the global warming, he was fried as soon as he hit the hot asphalt”.

George Bush: “ I would like to unconfusicate the public about this. The chicken was in Iraq and he was crossing the road to escape weapons of mass destruction.”

Darth Vader: “Because it couldn’t resist the power of the dark side.”

Donald Trump: “Chicken? Chicken? That reminds me, I have to start working on my comb-over.”

Reply
Bible Thumper December 28, 2014 at 11:47 pm

“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
Looking at South Carolina’s football recruiting, he was hoping to get run over.

Reply
shifty henry December 28, 2014 at 11:59 pm

O-U-C-H..!!

Reply
euwe max December 28, 2014 at 11:57 pm

Because Damned Tango’s dick was still in it’s ass.

Reply
Fecal Matters December 29, 2014 at 8:57 am

I’m sorry sir, there’s a chicken bone in my shoe.

Reply
you know me December 29, 2014 at 10:27 am

So what’s up with Moped-Ted and his DUIs????

Reply
Fecal Matters December 29, 2014 at 10:33 am

He’s free to go stumbling across downtown columbia in search of his vehicle and 21 year old damsels in distress.

Reply
Laws for the little people December 29, 2014 at 11:51 pm

Justus has been served!

Reply
Piece of shit December 29, 2014 at 9:16 pm

Don’t you mean “in my stool!”?

Reply
Fecal Matters December 30, 2014 at 1:42 pm

Not familiar with Ted Vick, are ya?

Reply
shifty henry December 29, 2014 at 9:04 am

Was he allowed to drive himself home?

Reply
Soft Sigh from Hell December 29, 2014 at 4:42 pm

Our South, where “He needed killing,” and “Umph gobble gnaw” on some chunk of delectable meat, can both count as valid legal excuses.

Reply
Manray9 December 29, 2014 at 8:32 pm

Allen “refused evaluation.” Does that mean he refused a breathalyzer or blood test? If so, an immediate six month suspension of his driver’s license is mandatory under state law. Was he tested? Has his license been suspended? C’mon Sic! Do you just play at reporter?

Reply
9" January 2, 2015 at 8:56 am

Best Wings In The World
http://www.2fat2flywings.com/

Reply

Leave a Comment