Good Stuff

Asheville: Inside The Hippie Capital

 A WEEKEND IN THE “LAND OF THE SKY” By FITSNEWS || For a city full of “dirty hippies,” downtown Asheville, N.C. is one of the cleanest places we’ve ever seen.  Seriously … it’s gorgeous.  And full of the sort of upscale shops, restaurants and cafes to which you don’t expect hippies…

 A WEEKEND IN THE “LAND OF THE SKY”

By FITSNEWS || For a city full of “dirty hippies,” downtown Asheville, N.C. is one of the cleanest places we’ve ever seen.  Seriously … it’s gorgeous.  And full of the sort of upscale shops, restaurants and cafes to which you don’t expect hippies to congregate.

Grumpy middle-aged lesbians, maybe … but not hippies.

Don’t get us wrong, the hippies are there.  In fact there’s an old joke about the hippie moving to Asheville “because he heard there were no jobs.”  And a closer look at a lot of the downtown Asheville shops reveals an earthy undertone to its consumer economy – gems, honey, abstract art, sandals, etc.

And of course the people … all of them seemingly stuck in the 1960s with the faintest whiff of pachouli and pot smoke emanating from their clothes as you pass them on the city’s sidewalks.  Hell, we’re shocked there wasn’t a Granola cart on every street corner (the way hot dog carts populate Manhattan).  And we’re going to go out on a limb and guess that the Asheville Police Department has a “see no evil” policy as it relates to simple possession of marijuana (a policy we endorse for all U.S. municipalities).

Asheville doesn’t wake up early.  It takes until 11:00 a.m. or so for the city to really get going (which is when most of its storefronts open up).  And even then walking through its streets is like being in an Aldous Huxley novel – there are no kids.  Like, anywhere.  Dogs, yes.  Everywhere.

Kids? Not a one …

ASHEVILLE, N.C.
ASHEVILLE, N.C.

Strange …

Asheville – formerly known as Morristown – was formed in the eighteenth century at the intersection of two prominent Cherokee Indian trails.  In 1797 it was incorporated and named for the governor of the Tar Heel State, Samuel Ashe.  Aside from the hippies, the city is known for its Art Deco architecture – the result of a Depression-era decision the rest of America would do well to heed.

Rather than default on its debt, the city chose to pay off its obligations over the next half century – which limited financing for new construction.  As a result, by the time the 1980s rolled around Asheville still looked like a city from the roaring 1920s – a unique vibe that makes it a popular tourist destination (well, that and the nearby Biltmore Mansion).

The invisible hand is alive and well in Asheville – even if the 55 percent of Buncombe County residents who voted for Barack Obama don’t appreciate capitalism’s efforts to improve their lives.

Merchants are everywhere … selling everything.  And everything is “local,” “organic” and “sustainable.” Any meat you put in your mouth is from a local farmer and “hormone free.”

And there’s beer. Everywhere you look.

Wanna get buzzed?  Asheville is home to twenty craft breweries – more per capita than any other city in America – and has been named Beer City USA for four years in a row.

Nobody here drinks “domestics.”

(For more on the city’s beer scene, CLICK HERE).

The city square – which due to the layout of the downtown streets forms a natural wind tunnel – is full of ware-peddlers.  Hat-makers, necklace-makers, all manner of artists and a girl with a dreadlocked girl voice strumming an acoustic guitar – singing an original composition about a guy (hippie?) – she apparently left a few months ago.

“Gone, gone, gone,” she sings.

There’s coffee … chocolate … and other assorted munchies.  All for sale … and all accepting the U.S. dollar.  Just don’t tell anyone you’re an actual capitalist and you should be okay …

RECOMMENDATIONS

STAY …  BILTMORE RESIDENCES

BREAKFAST … CAFE 64

CULTURE … BASILICA OF ST. LAWRENCE

LUNCH … BERLINER KINDL (in Black Mountain)

TOURIST … BILTMORE ESTATE

RETAIL THERAPY … GROVE ARCADE

DINNER … TUPELO HONEY CAFE

***

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229 comments

GrandTango November 8, 2014 at 12:34 pm

Sadly, many beautiful places in this wonderful country become overrun w/ militant homosexuals, wanton dope heads, deadbeats, and anything goes sexual pervs….

San Francisco, Key West and Asheville are examples of how the radical leftists will commandeer the most precious that we have and make if unfit for families or decent people.

That said: FITS, Asheville may be the perfect venue for someone who espouses some of the decadent trash you advocate for.

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein November 8, 2014 at 12:37 pm

many beautiful place in this country become overrun w/… dead bats,…

Fuckin’ A, T. [TBG always wanted to say that.]
Atlanta’s the same way.
How long has it been since the Braves won a World Series?

Reply
GrandTango November 8, 2014 at 12:42 pm

Huh?….

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein November 8, 2014 at 1:44 pm

TBG copied and pasted before you edited.

Reply
GrandTango November 8, 2014 at 2:03 pm

Sure you did…Dumb@$$…(:

It's A Great Day In SC November 8, 2014 at 3:55 pm

It seems the Republican victory this weeks has made GTeven MORE angry(if that’s possible?)

Relax man thesedamn Libruls are on the run!

Buz Martin November 8, 2014 at 8:57 pm

Sore Winner Syndrome. Et up widdit.

Buz Martin November 8, 2014 at 8:57 pm

Sore Winner Syndrome. Et up widdit.

shifty henry November 8, 2014 at 3:26 pm

heh! heh!

tomstickler November 8, 2014 at 2:40 pm

There is always Branson for you and yours.

Reply
GrandTango November 8, 2014 at 2:48 pm

That’s RICH…don’t you live in Myrtle Beach????…PERFECT FIT…sleazy, cheap and tacky, with a tattoo parlor and nudie club on every corner……Al of you should be made to live in the filthy village you create…

Reply
easterndumbfuckistan November 8, 2014 at 3:44 pm

QFT….. Al of you should be made to live in the filthy village you create…

Who’s Al? AlGore, Al Franken, or Al Jazeera?

Reply
GrandTango November 8, 2014 at 4:01 pm

And Al Qaeda…. another liberal special interest pet.

Deo Vindice SC November 8, 2014 at 7:56 pm

Yes here, my B40 rocket is ready to fire !

My tax dollars at work November 8, 2014 at 8:40 pm

Where do you go to vacation? Wondering what’s affordable for those on gov’t assistance?

Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 1:21 am

tomstickler — a long-time eminently sober-sided commenter on articles at The Sun News site, FITS, Grand Strand Daily, etc. — never blasts people with snarky come-backs.

You’re arrived, putz. And now that you’ve arrived, there you are. You can say, with the “real” pogo in the funny papers of yore, unfortunate namesake of your most ardent fan, “We have met the enemy and he is us.

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diamond jim November 9, 2014 at 8:40 am

Give ‘tomstickler’ a break.He was another victim of the BFEU (BUZ FUCKS EVERYTHING UP)club.

The Sun News apparently had to shut its opinion blog down as Martin was making slanderous allegations and threats against public officials and local citizens who owned businesses in Horry and Georgetown Counties. Several people were threatening to sue him including a local author who just passed away.

‘tomstickler’ is just a leftover biker that lost his marbles when MB ran the bikers out.

Reply
Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 9:52 am

See comment to other comment by you where you spout the same old tire line of BS.

Torch November 9, 2014 at 8:52 am

Sounds like Columbia.

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sparklecity November 10, 2014 at 12:07 pm

or Branson…………….

9" November 8, 2014 at 6:55 pm

Come on,GT.As long as you’re getting your rump humped,you don’t care where you’re at

Reply
Buz Martin November 8, 2014 at 8:55 pm

Dude, you ever been to Charlotte, Atlanta or Jacksonville? Wide fucking open non-stop crazytime in those places, decadent as hell, and by no means run by hippies and gays. You really do need to get out more.

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Buz Martin November 8, 2014 at 8:55 pm

Dude, you ever been to Charlotte, Atlanta or Jacksonville? Wide fucking open non-stop crazytime in those places, decadent as hell, and by no means run by hippies and gays. You really do need to get out more.

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CarolinaBeerGuy November 8, 2014 at 12:39 pm

Early Girl Cafe and Sunny Point Cafe should be added to the breakfast/brunch rotation.

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RogueElephant November 8, 2014 at 12:42 pm

Asheville is a good example of what happens to great places when liberals take over. Detroit is another.

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Six ft. Under Makes Us All Eq November 8, 2014 at 1:50 pm

Then how do you explain what happened to SC? Your guys (and girl) has been running this hell hole of a state for decades. What type of return have we gotten on the election of Republicans in SC….NOTHING but being at the bottom of every good list…education, income, health…. just pick a list and we’re at the bottom of it if it’s good and the top if it’s bad.

By the way since you’re a rouge elephant, please explain why the governor is headed to India for a 10 day family reunion and calls it a “Business trip.” You can’t make this stuff up!

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GrandTango November 8, 2014 at 2:01 pm

You are the epitome of a Dumb@$$ cliche. Charleston was just voted the top destination in the world. SC is gaining population, and political clout, while your liberal armpit states are losing population…and looking like FOOLS in the process…

And the worst of SC, is that way because it has put generation after generation of Democrats in office. YOU are the Corridor of SHAME…

Where we bucked the racist Democrat elected official, our schools are as good as any in the nation We prosper and shine where we elect Republicans.

And: Haley to India: She just Beat the S#!* out of Obama, and rejected his dictator meddling related to federal unions, voter ID and homosexual marriage…She can go anywhere she wants. she Earned IT…and there is not a D@*n thing your FAILED Democrat @$$ can do about it except STFU…IDIOT!!!

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diamond jim November 8, 2014 at 7:41 pm

I cringe when I visit some of our beautiful cities and see what the liberals and LGBT community have done to them.

You can’t take children to some of these places.

Reply
Billion Doller Movie November 8, 2014 at 8:38 pm

Bonjour, Diamond Jim!

SCBlues November 8, 2014 at 9:26 pm

“I cringe when I visit some of our beautiful cities and see what the liberals and LGBT community have done to them.”
I assure you the folks of the beautiful cities cringe – and gag – when they see you as well . . .

GrandTango November 8, 2014 at 9:47 pm

You people keep making me out to be the villin for calling out the perverted and twisted lifestyles of those sodomites. Well in the interest of journalistic fairness, tonight I’m going to go visit bars in Asheville that are frequented by gay men. I will be doing an indepth report on what it is that makes being gay so great. I will talk with a lot of gay men and ask them what is so great about being gay and why they enjoy it. I will report back to you on my blog and let you know what I found out.

Folks please tell your wife not to lock me out of the room tonight. I’ll need a lot of rest when I get back.

Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 1:13 am

We hear so much talk of sodomy today.

But nobody ever discusses the real resident evil menacing hell-spawned deviant sexual practice … the one that truly dare not speak its name:

Gomorrahme.

GrandTango November 9, 2014 at 10:32 am

I hate to disappoint but there will not be a report from me on gay lifestyles. At least not as a result of my ventures last night. I went into this gay men’s bar and was having a good time and asking about how it was to be queer and all. They bought me drinks and the next thing I was being jostled awake by an Asheville cop in an alley behind the bar. He was going to arrest me for being drunk until I explained that the last thing I remembered was drinking with some of those gay men and then the cop was waking me up. He said something about they might have Ruthied me. I don’t know who Ruthie is and I don’t recall ever meeting anyone by that name.

Folk’s wife is pissed at me for waking them up at 6 AM when I finally got back to the room this morning.

Boy is my butt sore for some reason.

Smirks November 11, 2014 at 10:18 am

I hate to disappoint but there will not be a report from me on gay lifestyles.

T’s got his closet door locked tight you Liberal-Tarian scum!

SCBlues November 9, 2014 at 5:55 pm

” I will report back to you on my blog and let you know what I found out.”
Uh-huh. I wouldn’t visit your blog even if I was wearing one of those suits that medical workers wear to treat Ebola patients . . .

E Norma Scok November 9, 2014 at 6:48 pm

Yet you throw Charleston under the bus at every chance.
Fucking amazing.

Reply
GrandTango November 10, 2014 at 8:26 am

I do?

Native Ink November 11, 2014 at 1:01 pm

Charleston County has been blue in the last 3 elections, so get out of here with your liberal-hating crap. Charleston is about as liberal as it gets in South Carolina.

GrandTango November 12, 2014 at 3:39 pm

What did I say about liberal vermin infesting anyplace that’s aesthetically desirable?….. You make my point, you ignorant Dumb@$$…

remus November 8, 2014 at 3:32 pm

Btw…the inventor of the laser is a South Carolina native, Dr. Townes…as is Nobel recipient Dr. Bernstein for elucidation the pathway of cholesterol metabolism…relevant much, I would say….Incidentally, I find Asheville to be a selfish, dreary little
hamlet with no soul…I much prefer my native Shenandoah…

Reply
Helicopter Money November 8, 2014 at 3:35 pm

Don’t forget that government hero Dr. Ben Bernanke either!

Reply
Soft Sigh from Hell November 8, 2014 at 4:12 pm

Maser, not laser, but basically the same.

Also, Kary Mullis, 1993 Nobel in Chemistry. NC native but high school in Columbia.

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Helicopter Money November 9, 2014 at 9:01 am

“Also, Kary Mullis, 1993 Nobel in Chemistry. NC native but high school in Columbia.”

That dude is batshit crazy. It just goes to show how winning a Noble doesn’t mean you aren’t a lunatic. Reminds me of Obama winning a Peace Prize and then bombing 6 countries in 7 years.

Soft Sigh from Hell November 9, 2014 at 4:17 pm

Yeah, he had some crazy ideas on AIDS I once read.

Bob Fucking Moog November 8, 2014 at 6:53 pm

Let’s don’t forget Moog synths are made there.

Reply
SCBlues November 8, 2014 at 9:24 pm

“Asheville is a good example of what happens to great places when liberals take over. Detroit is another”
As if we needed confirmation that you’re a fucking idiot – as is GT and Sandi (aka diamond jim) – I assure you Asheville neither wants you or needs you.
And you’ll never, ever get it . . . why Asheville is such an enchanting place – an oasis – a respite from the narrow-minded bigots that overrun the South.

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Fuck The Idiots, Asheville November 8, 2014 at 10:59 pm

Hell, yes! Small biz doing fine, great music of different types, great brew houses, awesome public trans….

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Saluda Rapids November 9, 2014 at 9:36 am

Amen

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sparklecity November 10, 2014 at 12:02 pm

Give me Asheville over Columbia,SC anyday
Only thing worth a damn in Columbia is the zoo

Reply
OBS is dried up November 8, 2014 at 12:53 pm

Post a puff piece during your trip and write off most or all of the trip as business expense on your taxes. What a wonderful country we live in.

Reply
Yay! November 8, 2014 at 3:28 pm

Gotta appreciate someone that gives themselves the good ole thumbs up. Everyone likes to masturbate, some are just more open about it than others.

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GrandTango November 8, 2014 at 5:29 pm

Did you forget something Folks? You forgot to come by and pick me up.

Reply
Will Folks aka Sic November 8, 2014 at 4:41 pm

Mrs. Sic booked and paid for the trip in advance. Not a penny in write-off. But you win “Irrelevant Asshat Comment of the Day.”

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Bible Thumper November 8, 2014 at 5:59 pm

But you’re watching football now, like me.

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diamond jim November 8, 2014 at 7:46 pm

I sure hope he is watching The Ohio State University and Michigan State-not a ‘rerun’ of these overrated and over hyped SEC teams that just beat the shit out of each other and have declared Martial Law on the BCS.

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Bible Thumper November 8, 2014 at 7:52 pm

Auburn finally had luck against them. Always good to see ND lose. WV embarrassed Clem in Orange. Good to see them lose to weak a Texas. Great Day so far. Now if only LSU beats Tide.

diamond jim November 9, 2014 at 8:40 am

How bout them Buckeyes?

Bible Thumper November 9, 2014 at 8:48 am

They played great. I like to see teams Clemson played do well as long as we weren’t embarrassed. Have a cousin who went to MSU and a friend that went to OSU.
OSU should get serious consideration for the playoffs.

TontoBubbaGoldstein November 9, 2014 at 11:37 am

How bout them Buckeyes?

They won.
They suck.
As always, they are overrated.

diamond jim:elections have con November 9, 2014 at 6:05 pm

lol…
Obama won
Democrats suck
As always, your HUMOR is overrated.

Gary Rice November 9, 2014 at 5:34 pm

How about shutting the fuck up? How many goddamn comments do you need to make off topic? Fucking retard…

diamond jim:elections have con November 9, 2014 at 6:03 pm

Gary, you must be a miserable homosexual just upset about this past election. A post by Fits about a trip to Asheville with his family turned this blog into an LGBT convention of perversion by you nuts.

My comment about football was a reply to Bible Thumper as he had commented about the games yesterday, wondering if Will was watching the games.

What was the topic again? Putz.

Gary Rice November 9, 2014 at 6:09 pm

Gotta problem you need fixin’? My can of Whoop-Ass® is ready to open.

diamond jim:elections have con November 9, 2014 at 6:11 pm

Fire away.

Gary Rice November 9, 2014 at 6:16 pm

Anytime shitbag!!

diamond jim:elections have con November 9, 2014 at 6:26 pm

Still waiting? Go change your panties and get back with me.

Gary Rice November 10, 2014 at 11:41 am

Yeah, I’m still waiting…let me know asshole when you get to Cola and I’ll whip you idiot ass.

diamond jim:elections have con November 10, 2014 at 12:04 pm

lol…I see Buz gave you an ‘upvote’-glad to see ya both finally got out of bed today.

TontoBubbaGoldstein November 9, 2014 at 11:35 am

Always good to see ND lose.

+10!

Take the damn write off! November 9, 2014 at 9:17 am

Even if you did write it off, big deal. You don’t owe the gov’t anything contrary to popular opinion. You should take the write off IMO.

What are they going to do with the money they take from you if you don’t?

Are they gonna pave roads with it? No, they are gonna use it to support people like Big T in his trailer who’s gonna use that money to start a failed website or our Peace Prize President in going to launch a few more drone strikes or put some more boots on the ground.

You’d be better to keep that money yourself and set it on fire for flush it down the drain. Not only would it be more productive than giving it to them, it’d be more enjoyable.

Reply
FastEddy23 November 9, 2014 at 10:09 am

Then you both are stupid if you don’t deduct those expenses.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein November 9, 2014 at 11:34 am

Mrs. Sic booked and paid for the trip in advance.

Irrelevant.
Since you are writing about it on your blog…write it off.

Note/Disclaimer: While incredibly knowledgeable on these and a multitude of other subjects, TBG is not a licensed CPA/Tax advisor. TBG has never offered tax advice to Richland county deputies.

Reply
Same ol' Same ol' November 9, 2014 at 11:58 am

Uh, why not if it’s allowed? Take what they’ll give, if it’s legal.

Reply
Stop the Dated Semantics November 10, 2014 at 12:23 pm

“Irrelevant Asshat Comment of the Day.”

Speaking of irrelevant, let’s leave the term ASSHAT back in 2004 when it was somewhat funny.

Reply
Squishy123 November 10, 2014 at 10:07 am

Small business owners love when idiots say this about anything, “You can write it off”. Yeah, you can but you don’t get a dollar back for every dollar you spend. It’s based on tax dollar calculations. If you spend a dollar and are in a 20% tax bracket, you don’t get a dollar back in April, you get 20 cents.

Reply
Squishy123 November 8, 2014 at 1:30 pm

I hear water rates are extremely low up there, because it’s fairly obvious that nobody takes a shower.

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Jock Itch November 8, 2014 at 8:55 pm

They’re about average. You see, people still have to take a crap and flush up here. If not for that, your ancestors wouldn’t have had so many years to evolve and grow legs and leave the water and you wouldn’t be here, today.

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Squishy123 November 8, 2014 at 10:25 pm

You have indoor plumbing? I thought the natural way was to dig an outhouse. Next you’ll be telling me women up there shave their legs and armpits… and when naked don’t look like they’re standing behind a tumble weed.

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Jock Itch November 8, 2014 at 8:55 pm

They’re about average. You see, people still have to take a crap and flush up here. If not for that, your ancestors wouldn’t have had so many years to evolve and grow legs and leave the water and you wouldn’t be here, today.

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SomalianRoadCorp November 14, 2014 at 1:39 pm

New Orleans has cheap water rates as well. After all, they have feet of it.

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Native Ink November 8, 2014 at 1:39 pm

I go up to Asheville a lot and have eaten at all the restaurants mentioned. Their food just isn’t as good as the food in Charleston at a comparable price. Now I usually just eat some place simple like Mellow Mushroom or even at fast food joints.

The town itself is nice, but the mountains are what makes the area really special.

Reply
GrandTango November 8, 2014 at 2:57 pm

No doubt after Asheville got “discovered” and flooded w/ ne’er-do-wells, everything began to suck…except for the mountains.

It has become so touristy…and blemished.

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Life on the dole November 8, 2014 at 3:29 pm

Does Medicaid cover your gas to get up there?

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Just Got Back From Asheville November 8, 2014 at 4:38 pm

You stupid shit. Asheville rules in culture, food, and entertainment. I can’t fucking wait to move there in a couple years. Charleston, what a laugh…

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GrandTango November 8, 2014 at 5:26 pm

Are you gay, or a dope-head?

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Just Got Back From Asheville November 8, 2014 at 5:42 pm

A retired policeman, moron. Btw…it’s dopehead, no hyphen.

phlegm November 8, 2014 at 6:46 pm

O to be retired from public service and to become a professional food, culture, and entertainment critic…

CorruptionInColumbia November 8, 2014 at 6:51 pm

Where is it written that he (or she) cannot do just that? Please show us.

Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 1:32 am

Similar to whore, no hymen.

Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 1:31 am

Everybody but you knows that those are not mutually-exclusive terms.

louie November 8, 2014 at 6:43 pm

Judging by your erudite vocabulary, I believe you are a fantastic fit for Asheville. I suggest you do yourself and your neighbors a favor and move immediately to this most gracious of meccas known as Asheville.

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tomstickler November 8, 2014 at 2:47 pm

A very distant relation was the first man hanged for murder in Buncombe County about 1808.

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GrandTango November 8, 2014 at 2:49 pm

For not bunk-combing?

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Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 1:30 am

Another “gay code” comment from you, eh GT?

We’re writing ’em down.

Wide-stance romance much?

Reply
The Colonel November 8, 2014 at 4:18 pm

Tupelo Honey is a good choice but you left off Asheville Brewing Company as best place for a beer – I recommend the “Escape Assist” or “Stuntman Brown”. They also have good seasonals that change almost monthly.

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Bible Thumper November 8, 2014 at 4:53 pm

Ashville is the modern equivalent of the “Bearded Lady”. Freak shows make money.

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Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 1:58 am

/// it would no longer be unique and draw tourist. ///

Maybe even more than one.

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GrandTango November 8, 2014 at 5:23 pm

Folk’s dumb @$$ forgot to swing by and pick me up on the way to NC. It’s a wonder that he can keep his f@cking blog running with a short memory like that. Think of all the time we have already lost where we could have been talking about politics and how we can combine our talents and resources to make one big blog and split the profits.

I’m currently hitching a ride to Biltmore Residences. Please be sure they have clean towels and toilet paper for me. That mountain air always upsets my bowels. I hope you have a second bed in the room so I won’t be kept awake by you and your wife kicking me during the night as I sleep at the foot of the bed.

I hope theres plenty of toilet paper, soap, and shampoo, left over for me to take home. If I don’t use much of any of them, it should last me just fine until this time next year.

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RogueElephant November 9, 2014 at 7:44 am

“I hope there is plenty of toilet paper” With as much shit as you spout, you better take a case with you. LOL

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GrandTango November 9, 2014 at 10:27 am

I would expect something like that from one of you Democrat homo loving liberal-tarians.

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guest November 9, 2014 at 6:56 pm

You do know Buz has ‘hijacked’ Grand Tango’s s/n.

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RogueElephant November 10, 2014 at 7:25 am

I really hadn’t thought anything about it. I will put it on my list. LOL

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RHood2 November 8, 2014 at 5:23 pm

Asheville — because 10,000 lesbians can’t be wrong.

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CorruptionInColumbia November 8, 2014 at 6:04 pm

Sounds like Heaven!

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SCBlues November 8, 2014 at 9:14 pm

“Sounds like Heaven!”
And indeed Heaven is filled with Gays and Lesbians!

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CorruptionInColumbia November 8, 2014 at 9:36 pm

I was thinking about the lesbians. The hot ones, anyway.

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shifty henry November 9, 2014 at 3:54 pm

Two lesbians were bored and wanted to fill in
some time. One says, “Let’s play
hide-and-seek. I’ll hide and you look for me. If you find me I’ll eat you.” The other one asks, “But what if I can’t find you?”
—— “I’ll be behind the sofa.”

Deo Vindice SC November 9, 2014 at 3:49 pm

and pub pedo’s.

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Squishy123 November 9, 2014 at 9:59 am

Ahh, have you seen the lesbians in Asheville? They aren’t the porn video lipstick lesbians, they’re the logging truck flannel wearing lesbians or ultra feminist, men hating, razor fearing lesbians.

Reply
diamond jim November 9, 2014 at 10:09 am

A classic!!!!!

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TontoBubbaGoldstein November 9, 2014 at 11:42 am

Birkenstocks. You left out Birkenstocks.

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CorruptionInColumbia November 9, 2014 at 12:21 pm

That’s anywhere you go, more or less. Heck, I don’t have a hard time befriending the logging truck lesbians. They aren’t bad to have as friends. If someone screws with me, they will beat their ass just because they like beating guys’ asses to show off.

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Carl November 9, 2014 at 4:53 pm

Myself and some friends entered a dart tournament a few years ago and some lesbian teams showed up. I hit it off really fast with one, a car salesman. She and I were wearing the same suit. We laughed our asses off about that all night.

FastEddy23 November 10, 2014 at 4:12 am

You wear a suit to dart tournaments ?

Buzzed M.Gaytard November 10, 2014 at 6:16 am

A Birthday suit…

FastEddy23 November 10, 2014 at 11:00 am

LOL … that’s a good one …

Buz Martin November 10, 2014 at 2:29 am

I have never had one beat anyone’s ass for me, but I have seen one beat a guy’s ass, and it was an awesome sight to behold. Since it is so ingrained in me not to hit a woman, Lord help me if one of those scrappy women ever decided to beat my ass.

FastEddy23 November 10, 2014 at 4:13 am

Yeap. Only thing worse: biker chicks.

SCBlues November 8, 2014 at 9:13 pm

We need more hippies and less yuppies.
I’ll take long-haired guys over baldies any day of the week and twice on Sunday.
I hate perfume on women or cologne on men but the faint scent of patchouli on either is somehow attractive.

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Hot lesbians only please November 9, 2014 at 9:12 am

There is usually an inverse relationship between black population size and property values.

When it comes to gays though, it’s usually the opposite. Any area that starts to attract gays usually sees it property values rise, because gays are very good at finding places with a good quality of life and are usually ahead of the curve in that area.

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9" November 9, 2014 at 2:45 pm

That’s a stereotype,and partly true,but I hate elitism,which many gay people strive for,but not me and my gay friends.Gays are as diverse as their heterosexual counterparts.I love redneck queers.Their great in bed.
I’m still ahead of the curve in some ways,but that comes from surviving by your wits.

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Buzzed M.Gaytard November 10, 2014 at 7:12 am

I could fall in love with you.

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SCBlues November 9, 2014 at 7:57 pm

“There is usually an inverse relationship between black population size and property values.”
I don’t particularly agree with this comment – I agree with the second half of your comment but not this one.

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There Goes the Neighborhood November 10, 2014 at 12:21 pm

Gee I hope a lot of black people move into my neighborhood so the property values will increase… said no one ever.

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Smirks November 11, 2014 at 10:11 am

Most people don’t give a shit what their neighbor’s race happens to be, but then again, most people aren’t internet trolls or white supremacists, so…

Neighborhood Watch November 10, 2014 at 12:37 pm

One anecdote to support the first part of your commentary is Elmwood Park in downtown Columbia. It was a desirable place to build in the early 1900’s, a large part was blighted out during “white flight”, then the whites started moving back to town in the 90s (when you could still get a 3000 sq/ft crackhouse for a decent price) and finally the gays started buying there. And as they say in the business, there COMES the neighborhood.

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Bible Thumper November 8, 2014 at 6:34 pm

Will, to bad you didn’t go in August.
http://youtu.be/Ny_OsgXJaW8

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CorruptionInColumbia November 8, 2014 at 6:52 pm

WHOA! Hey Beavis, those chicks had their thingies out where you could see them. I liked the red head with the THO but unfortunately she had her thingies painted over so you couldn’t enjoy them to the fullest.

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Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 1:54 am

Hey now! Topless women of all shapes and sizes, protesting, parading and pontificating. Men with mullets wearing bras. A man without a mullet but with the stern, judgmental demeanor of the terminally “PC” saying “All you bigots — Get wise!” An old dude who looks like Larry David gone full-bore hippie beating on a psychedelic metal drum. A topless body-painted dude in an enclosure of traffic cones and yellow warning tape juggling big sharp knives. Some random goober fundie with a “You’re all going straight to HELL!” sign ineffectually protesting the whole thing. Topless women of all shapes and sizes, protesting, parading and pontificating.

AIN”T THAT AMERICA?

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vicupstate November 8, 2014 at 6:41 pm

I moved to Greenville in 1996. I visited Asheville often then, because Gville was such a narrow-minded, and inbreed place. Fortunately, in the 18 years since Greenville has evolved into a great city, in no small part by doing many of the things Asheville had already done. No need to drive 60 miles for good restaurants (including Tupelo Honey) now, they are right here.
Maybe one day shitheads like FITS will understand that ‘hippies’ and liberals don’t have a problem with mom and pop capitalism. It’s the heavy handed and underhanded crony style capitalism that is the problem.

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diamond jim November 8, 2014 at 7:37 pm

Oh my!!! Thank God you are still alive. I finally found somebody fuckin dumber than Buz about politics. :-)

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Buz Martin November 8, 2014 at 8:52 pm

No wonder you and GT get along so well, pogo. Both as obsessed with me as you are with dogging Will. Such a wierd shared pathology. You both need to be studied by professionals in your native habitats. Either that or euthanize both of you fuckwits and go at your brains with scalpels and such. There should be a grant for that kind of work available.

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diamond jim November 8, 2014 at 10:42 pm

Shit Boz. Only reason you have a friend in this world is they are fucking scared to death of you.

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Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 1:03 am

Riiiiiight … .

“DO … NOT … SEEK … THE TREASURE!”

… but DO seek professional help.

diamond jim November 9, 2014 at 9:02 am

5 different bloggers threatened to sue you on the former SNOB for your slanderous allegations and threatening comments INCLUDING 2 successful local business owners and a now deceased local author.

Without a doubt, in my opinion, that is why they shut that forum down-lawsuits that could potentially involve TSN.

LIke I said, anybody that pretends to befriend you is frankly just scared of what you have shown to be capable of.

You know what they say Buz, keep your friends close and your ENEMIES closer. That is all they do with you Buz.

Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 9:45 am

Thanks for proving you’re pogo, if any proof were needed. Fact is, at one time or another, you said worse things about all of those people than I ever did. They hate you with a passion. A couple of them may still hate me as well, but that’s their problem. They all said worse things about me than I ever said about them. Two of them threatened to kill me.

Some of them said terrible things about my family — but I never brought their families into it at all. With the kind help of Todd Garvin I downloaded the entire SNOB archive from even before I started posting/commenting on it. I went back further to show that Thomas G. Davis had been attacking me and posting personal info on my family at that blog, months before I ever discovered that and challenged him on there. The threats of lawsuits were always bullshit, because they knew my lawyers would burn them to the ground with the truth.

Keep revising the history of all that shit, troll. Your upvotes on it indicate that only a couple of people believe you. And they may both be you. Even GT doesn’t vote you up. How pathetic is that?

Delbert Fudd Jr. November 9, 2014 at 10:08 am

Who is pogo and thanks for just proving you are a lunatic?
Occasionally I read the SNOB and I NEVER saw threats against your life.

‘upvotes’…??? Iol!! 95% of the bloggers on here are liberal/socialists whom like Obama and the Democrats seek the destruction of this country and the moral/cultural foundations that made us great. Why would THEY ‘upvote’ the truth I post?

Your profane,sexist and frankly weird/chilling personal attack on the new 20 year-old writer for Fits is what earns you rapid fire ‘upvotes’ on Fits.You are proud of demanding that a 20 year-old college student, trying to share her views with us on important subjects, show you her “tits” or get the fuck off this forum (yard)? You are really a disgusting piece of work?

Have a great day Buz. Unlike you , i will be spending time with family, INCLUDING two of my beautiful grandchildren.

No hard feelings.

euwe max November 9, 2014 at 11:22 pm

The key to the treasure, *is* the treasure.

diamond jim November 8, 2014 at 11:06 pm

Buckeyes up 11 and i don’t have time for this shit ,dumbass.
Go put on your prettiest dress and pair of high heels for your latest victim (Taylor)and really impress her.
Your harassing,vulgar and sexist comments directed toward this 20 year-old on Fits should really disturb her family-in my opinion.
Weirdo.

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what???? November 9, 2014 at 12:49 am

what the fuck did this story have to do with football, OSU, or anything you are babbling about? you are a fucking idiot. Are you GT, or just an “alter ego” of GT’s so you can post to act like someone shares the same ideas? Are you Sybil? #Sybil. #getsomehelp, #idiotsarehere, #pleasedonthurtyourselffuckitdoit

Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 1:01 am

Hah! Pretty sure you’re not one of the old Sun News “SNOB” commenters. Also pretty sure that GT and pogo/diamond-jim/Sandi-Morals are not one and the same. Fascinating, though, how being called “Sybil” follows this particularly pernicious and obnoxious troll around the internet.

Buz Martin November 8, 2014 at 8:52 pm

No wonder you and GT get along so well, pogo. Both as obsessed with me as you are with dogging Will. Such a wierd shared pathology. You both need to be studied by professionals in your native habitats. Either that or euthanize both of you fuckwits and go at your brains with scalpels and such. There should be a grant for that kind of work available.

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SCBlues November 8, 2014 at 9:16 pm

“Oh my!!!”
You are such a damn buzz kill!

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Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 1:03 am

NPI, of course.

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Squeezing diamonds out ur..... November 9, 2014 at 8:59 am

Do you have a personal life, or is your personal life FITSnews?

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Honkey Mo Fo November 8, 2014 at 6:59 pm

The old days no one would go downtown because of mean SOB’s, a few bars, and toothless prostitutes.

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Jock Itch November 8, 2014 at 9:00 pm

Grand Tango moved to SC and then the toothless prostitutes were no more in Asheville. He gives a smooth bj and really doesn’t seemed to ,mind swallowing. He rather seems to enjoy it, not just swallowing but gulping for all he’s worth.

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Squishy123 November 8, 2014 at 10:27 pm

You do realize GT’s real name is Emily don’t you… how many male Emily’s do you know?

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Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 1:28 am

Emily is just another of his fake names.

But you’ve got to know that by now.

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Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 1:26 am

Sounds like Wilmington NC in the old days before downtown gentrification of the Front Street area, when the “River Rats” were out in force every night.

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sparklecity November 10, 2014 at 11:58 am

Been there, done that!!!!
Sounds like you’ve quaffed a few brews at Barbary Coast!!!
And the “Sunset party’ every Friday at the Marriot brought out every good looking “Administration Assistant” in town!!!
Was on a job there for 9 months back in early 90’s.
I love Wilmington still ((own property there too!!)

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Buz Martin November 10, 2014 at 1:20 pm

I lived there for a few years, mid-’90s. Front Street News days, hanging out with the bohos and unemployed film peeps (this was the down time between di Lawrentis and Carolco, long before Capra too over). Was in several plays there, great fun. I worked for a little company that did “desktop publishing” (antiquated term now) on Macs for the downtown businesses, plus the odd banquet gig.

Would not at all mind living there again. Yes to Barbary Coast. Had that one in mind when I wrote the part about the “River Rats.” Some of the wildest damned people I ever met, put bikers to shame on that score.
Ah, yes, the women at those Marriot Sunset parties … sublime.

I actually prefer Wilmington to Asheville. Just suits my soul.

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9" November 11, 2014 at 9:48 am

Wilmington is the place to be in NC.Totally agree.

Grumpy lesbians, haha November 8, 2014 at 7:00 pm

Thanks Liz. Great article.

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Buz Martin November 8, 2014 at 8:35 pm

Hippie culture really clustered around that area in the late ’60s. The town already had something of a bohemian vibe to it before that, though. Mother Earth News moving their headquarters there sealed its rep as the hippie capital on NC, with Chapel Hill a close second. Massive loads of pimo ginsing there for the digging along the shores of the French Broad River brought made some of them quite wealthy, selling it to the international health food market.

Then in the ’80’s the whole “Sedona is going dark!” movement started in Arizona, reportedly started by land speculators with properties in those breathtakingly beautiful mountains. Lots of crystal freaks (no, not the meth kind) flocked there, along with such cosmic huckters as a “Tantric Yoga” guru who put ads in the local alternative rags for tantra partners before setting up his little empire there.

A funky, off-kinter coffee-house culture town — but as you say, surprising clean. Poltics? A bit on the radical left side, but often in a fun way. Example: They have burlesque troupes there who perform in the bars, but they are known as “women’s burlesque COLLECTIVES.” They really know how to raise your consciousness — and make it go ”
SHWIIING!!!”

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Soft Sigh from Hell November 9, 2014 at 4:15 pm

Oddly, a longer time ago, Asheville was center of a well-known national fascist movement.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Dudley_Pelley

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Buz Martin November 8, 2014 at 9:03 pm

Hey, BigT — tired of getting pissed on? Well, just embrace it, dude. It will make you grow big and strong.

Join me on Facebook for an in-depth discussion of the use of piss in a good mulch pile. It’s, like. organic, man.

Can you dig it?

https://www.facebook.com/buzmartin/posts/604393989665767?pnref=story

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9" November 9, 2014 at 1:22 am

I remember going to concerts in the ‘hippie era’,but hippies were people my friends and I made fun of;especially their politics,and this notion that there was going to be some kind of,’revolution’.It was similar to the ‘Ron Paul Revolution’,and libertarian party.
You knew it ,in your gut,that imaginary utopia was never gonna happen,but the music was great:http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1jkyjd_jimi-hendrix-live-in-atlanta-4-7-1970-complete_music

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euwe max November 9, 2014 at 6:07 am

There *was* a revolution.

The world changed completely…. and those who made fun of the “hippies” want their old world back.

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9" November 9, 2014 at 7:20 am

Well,it’s complicated,when you’re actually there and part of the whole thing.I was a hippie of sorts,but I’m old,now-it WAS a completely different world.I’d give anything to go back to simpler times.Festivals were also important,in how large groups of people could change things.That is perhaps the greatest legacy.At the 2nd Atlanta fest,the cops let it be known,there would be no drugs busts.They were outnumbered.

But there was an idea that everyone could live in peace and harmony,and ‘share the land that they’ll be giving away,when we all live together’.I realized that was BS at the time,but damn,The Music,that was the main thing for me,and I feel very fortunate to have lived through that era,and to have seen nearly all the great rock stars/bands.If you like Hendrix,the link posted above will probably be gone before long.Heirs$

The Allman Brothers recently ended their 45 year reign as the best live band ever.Here’s a snippet of their opening set,in 1970:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcAph-PqJP0

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euwe max November 9, 2014 at 11:58 pm

You actually *listened* to that peace and harmony shit?
I’d wait until they came down, and if they couldn’t get serious, I bailed. Immaturity shouldn’t be entertained – at least not by adults.
New proselytes can go off the deep end rather easily… and there are people who use them. Remember Pat Boone, John Denver, Kenny Rogers, and all those fake opportunists who worked key “hippie” phrases into their insipid music without a beat?
Who was it… Peter? that chopped the ear off a servant? ..and Judas who wanted to sell the perfume worth a year’s wages and give it to the poor?

It’s not about the people who are gullible, and see ideas as fashion – like something to wear. It’s not about the people who think things are easy, and “all you have to do is…” – it’s about the people who can see, and do something useful to help move the line.

It’s not about the fuck-ups, its about ideas, and how to make them work.

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9" November 10, 2014 at 4:23 am

You’re right.I think music is the closest man gets to divine inspiration.It’s my religion.

9" November 10, 2014 at 4:23 am

You’re right.I think music is the closest man gets to divine inspiration.It’s my religion.

SCBlues November 9, 2014 at 7:54 pm

euwe max – I have been missing you and your interesting posts – please get back on here more often – your posts and those of a few others are the reason that I come here – otherwise it is pretty damn boring!

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euwe max November 9, 2014 at 11:45 pm

I recently bought the Unibomber’s old place, so I’ve been removing debris, repairing the old abandoned cabin during the day and building a faster-than-light drive at night, all the while creating new worlds in my head, making a living, and all that.

Think of it like the pulses emanating from binary stars orbiting a black hole.

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shifty henry November 10, 2014 at 1:35 am

Max, hi! I sort of know how you feel. I’m now into the 6th year of my attempt to perfect a nonpareil spaceband. There is an element of connectivity I’ve been unable to solve.

euwe max November 10, 2014 at 2:45 am

The invention of a machine to replace the labor-intensive task of setting type by hand was one that many inventors had tackled during the 19th Century. The difficulty was not in creating the text, but in returning the characters to a proper position for future use. Ottmar Mergenthaler solved this problem by placing type molds on the sides of specially keyed matrices.

Another problem Mergenthaler solved was in justifying the type, giving flush margins on the left and right. Hand compositors did this by using spaces of different widths in a line, to ensure that the lines all ended at the same point. Mergenthaler adapted the “space band” (patented by J. W. Schuckers), a device consisting of two wedges of metal connected loosely. When a line of type was being justified, all the space band wedges would be pushed up in two passes to spread the line out to the full measure being cast. The space bands were stored for reuse in a different location from the matrices.

The standard of measurement is the pica. A pica
is twelve points (one-sixth of an inch).

from Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary 1913 Edition

Type (Page: 1558)

Type are mostly made by casting type metal in a mold, though some of the larger sizes are made from maple, mahogany, or boxwood. In the cut, a is the body; b, the face, or part from which the impression is taken; c, the shoulder, or top of the body; d, the nick (sometimes two or more are made), designed to assist the compositor in distinguishing the bottom of the face from the top; e, the groove made in the process of finishing, — each type as cast having attached to the bottom of the body a jet, or small piece of metal (formed by the surplus metal poured into the mold), which, when broken off, leaves a roughness that requires to be removed. The fine lines at the top and bottom of a letter are technically called ceriphs, and when part of the face projects over the body, as in the letter f, the projection is called a kern.

The smallest body in common use is diamond; then follow in order of size, pearl, agate, nonpareil, minion, brevier, bourgeois (or two-line diamond), long primer (or two-line pearl), small pica (or two-line agate), pica (or two-line nonpareil), English (or two-line minion), Columbian (or two-line brevier), great primer (two-line bourgeois), paragon (or two-line long primer), double small pica (or two-line small pica), double pica (or two-line pica), double English (or two-line English), double great primer (or two-line great primer), double paragon (or two-line paragon), canon (or two-line double pica). Above this, the sizes are called five-line pica, six-line pica, seven-line pica, and so on, being made mostly of wood.

Space bands justified all fonts. Any space band will do.

The Daily Journal-Gazette from Mattoon, Illinois
Wednesday, December 16, 1953
Page 8

Women’s Page

Mary Margaret McBride Says…

You Can Carry a Joke Too Far

A comedian named Jimmy Lyons told me that the reason professional funnymen go round looking funereal is because “if you laugh at your own story, no one else will.” There aren’t many professional comedians in my circle, so that’s all right with me, but I’d like to lodge a protest against parlor jokesters who carry the deadpan effect so far their audiences never do catch on trial it’s a joke.

I’m ashamed to say I was once guilty of this myself. On a house party, a group bf us deftly hoaxed an unsuspecting friend into believing that she was seeing an amazing demonstration of extra-sensory perception or mind-reading. It was easy to do—the rest of us had arranged a series of signals and then started a game. Somebody was chosen to leave the room and those remaining picked tin object that we were to concentrate on until the person who was “it” guessed right. It Was easy with the pre-arranged signals, and our victim believed it all? Cruelly we let her go on for for weeks marveling to everybody When she finally found out the truth, Ellen was so hurt she didn’t want to see any of us for a long time. She said it wasn’t fair because we never gave a hint that we were joking and I think she was right. There ought to be some clue that it’s all in fun.

Plenty of people don’t agree with me, though. Benjamin Franklin wrote to a friend in London more than 200 years ago that one of the great New World sights was whales leaping up Niagara Falls. Now how in the world could the London friend clear across the ocean know that it was impossible for a whale to be leaping around Niagara Falls.

H. Allen Smith, who writes very funny stuff but like the rest of us isn’t so amused when the joke is turned on himself, told me once about his Initiation Into newspaper work. The foreman of the composing room sent him to a print shop some distance away for a nonpareil space band. Back and forth three or four times the poor young man trudged; trundling wheel barrows full of junk, only to find at last that everybody was laughing uproariously: and that a nonpareil-space band doesn’t exist. No great harm was done, you may say, but no great good either that i can see, to make a a newcomer to a job feel more nervous about it than he already did.

Almost as bad as the reporter, who In the days before communications were what they are now convinced the whole of New York City that wild animals were loose in the streets, are the pranksters who sit in a company and soberly amuse themselves by carrying on conversations that are sheer invention. “I wouldn’t find it funny if you had done it,” confessed one of the offenders later. “I only think it’s funny when I do it.” Which Just about winds up the whole subject, except that it starts you wondering what is a joke anyway?

euwe max November 10, 2014 at 2:45 am

The invention of a machine to replace the labor-intensive task of setting type by hand was one that many inventors had tackled during the 19th Century. The difficulty was not in creating the text, but in returning the characters to a proper position for future use. Ottmar Mergenthaler solved this problem by placing type molds on the sides of specially keyed matrices.

Another problem Mergenthaler solved was in justifying the type, giving flush margins on the left and right. Hand compositors did this by using spaces of different widths in a line, to ensure that the lines all ended at the same point. Mergenthaler adapted the “space band” (patented by J. W. Schuckers), a device consisting of two wedges of metal connected loosely. When a line of type was being justified, all the space band wedges would be pushed up in two passes to spread the line out to the full measure being cast. The space bands were stored for reuse in a different location from the matrices.

The standard of measurement is the pica. A pica
is twelve points (one-sixth of an inch).

from Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary 1913 Edition

Type (Page: 1558)

Type are mostly made by casting type metal in a mold, though some of the larger sizes are made from maple, mahogany, or boxwood. In the cut, a is the body; b, the face, or part from which the impression is taken; c, the shoulder, or top of the body; d, the nick (sometimes two or more are made), designed to assist the compositor in distinguishing the bottom of the face from the top; e, the groove made in the process of finishing, — each type as cast having attached to the bottom of the body a jet, or small piece of metal (formed by the surplus metal poured into the mold), which, when broken off, leaves a roughness that requires to be removed. The fine lines at the top and bottom of a letter are technically called ceriphs, and when part of the face projects over the body, as in the letter f, the projection is called a kern.

The smallest body in common use is diamond; then follow in order of size, pearl, agate, nonpareil, minion, brevier, bourgeois (or two-line diamond), long primer (or two-line pearl), small pica (or two-line agate), pica (or two-line nonpareil), English (or two-line minion), Columbian (or two-line brevier), great primer (two-line bourgeois), paragon (or two-line long primer), double small pica (or two-line small pica), double pica (or two-line pica), double English (or two-line English), double great primer (or two-line great primer), double paragon (or two-line paragon), canon (or two-line double pica). Above this, the sizes are called five-line pica, six-line pica, seven-line pica, and so on, being made mostly of wood.

Space bands justified all fonts. Any space band will do.

The Daily Journal-Gazette from Mattoon, Illinois
Wednesday, December 16, 1953
Page 8

Women’s Page

Mary Margaret McBride Says…

You Can Carry a Joke Too Far

A comedian named Jimmy Lyons told me that the reason professional funnymen go round looking funereal is because “if you laugh at your own story, no one else will.” There aren’t many professional comedians in my circle, so that’s all right with me, but I’d like to lodge a protest against parlor jokesters who carry the deadpan effect so far their audiences never do catch on trial it’s a joke.

I’m ashamed to say I was once guilty of this myself. On a house party, a group bf us deftly hoaxed an unsuspecting friend into believing that she was seeing an amazing demonstration of extra-sensory perception or mind-reading. It was easy to do—the rest of us had arranged a series of signals and then started a game. Somebody was chosen to leave the room and those remaining picked tin object that we were to concentrate on until the person who was “it” guessed right. It Was easy with the pre-arranged signals, and our victim believed it all? Cruelly we let her go on for for weeks marveling to everybody When she finally found out the truth, Ellen was so hurt she didn’t want to see any of us for a long time. She said it wasn’t fair because we never gave a hint that we were joking and I think she was right. There ought to be some clue that it’s all in fun.

Plenty of people don’t agree with me, though. Benjamin Franklin wrote to a friend in London more than 200 years ago that one of the great New World sights was whales leaping up Niagara Falls. Now how in the world could the London friend clear across the ocean know that it was impossible for a whale to be leaping around Niagara Falls.

H. Allen Smith, who writes very funny stuff but like the rest of us isn’t so amused when the joke is turned on himself, told me once about his Initiation Into newspaper work. The foreman of the composing room sent him to a print shop some distance away for a nonpareil space band. Back and forth three or four times the poor young man trudged; trundling wheel barrows full of junk, only to find at last that everybody was laughing uproariously: and that a nonpareil-space band doesn’t exist. No great harm was done, you may say, but no great good either that i can see, to make a a newcomer to a job feel more nervous about it than he already did.

Almost as bad as the reporter, who In the days before communications were what they are now convinced the whole of New York City that wild animals were loose in the streets, are the pranksters who sit in a company and soberly amuse themselves by carrying on conversations that are sheer invention. “I wouldn’t find it funny if you had done it,” confessed one of the offenders later. “I only think it’s funny when I do it.” Which Just about winds up the whole subject, except that it starts you wondering what is a joke anyway?

shifty henry November 10, 2014 at 9:54 am

I’ve been duped and out-pranked by my country cousin in North Alabama……

Jeff Altman November 9, 2014 at 6:05 am

It’s easy to think of Asheville as “a hippy town,” not because it is dirty or young or long hairs or whatever stereotype you pick. It is that way for the ease of the city and the “live and let live” attitude. Yes, lesbians can walk hand in hand, many of the restaurants are great, it has a Southern quality of people with manners, good restaurants downtown, street musicians and all at a modest price. Surrounded by mountains and places to hike, with The Biltmore Estate and good medical facilities, it is a plce where Floridians move when they get tied of summer heat and hurricanes and Yankees like me move to escape the taxes and cold weather. It may not be perfect to some of you and that’s OK, put is a place that not only has 20 breweries but makes home to kombucha choices at the stores, not just a single brand, good schools, nice people, summer concerts and festivals galore, a desire to make tourists welcome and much more. Come visit next year. There will be lots of new hotels to make the stay downtown easier for you.

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Bring a Cardboard Box November 9, 2014 at 8:30 am

Yeah, lots of hotels at $400 plus per night. Otherwise you are trusting your Z’s; to Pusta Patel and his rag-time gang of cousins who buy less laundry detergent for a 100 room motor-court than the average American buys for a 3 br house.

Aloft = $385 Bohemian=$465 Grove Park = $550 Biltmore= $465 Pisgah Inn =$200 House of Persian Value Lodge = $62.50 and bring your own fucking corn flakes.

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Jeff Altman November 9, 2014 at 9:13 am

The racist remark was uncalled for. Drive out on Tunnel road less than two minutes from downtown– Red Roof at $69, Four Points by Sheridan at $84. Even downtown, The Renaissance is at $139 and the Hotel Indigo is $150.

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lulz November 9, 2014 at 12:46 pm

“The racist remark was uncalled for.”

It’s always funny to see the uninitiated post here for the first time.

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Tom November 9, 2014 at 4:06 pm

This is a mostly Republican site from South Carolina. There is never a shortage of racist remarks.

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Woe is Tom November 9, 2014 at 5:38 pm

Thank you for your meaningless comment Captain Victimhood.

9" November 9, 2014 at 6:27 pm

Such insight.

Bring a Cardboard Box November 9, 2014 at 4:58 pm

What was racist asshole? Calling an Indian and Indian? Are you completely brain dead? Stereotype? Maybe. But if it weren’t true you wouldn’t have understood so go fuck yourself your bald honky.

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Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 10:04 am

The city has culture, in other words.

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CorruptionInColumbia November 9, 2014 at 6:51 am

Why is the hippie thing a bad thing? In my old age, I find that I enjoy those environs occupied, inhabited, or run, by those who some would call part of the hippie culture. The coffee shops, health food stores, bakeries, and like places have such a peaceful, laid-back, atmosphere to them, that you cannot help but love those places.

The people, always laid back, pleasant, polite, and friendly, make the experience of being in those places a good one. I would imagine most of them lean liberal on their politics and that is okay with me, as is the likelihood that many of them enjoy their pot or other recpharm in the privacy of their own homes or those of their friends. It’s not my thing but neither is it any skin off of my butt.

Ever the old sheepdog deep down inside, I often wonder how well-received I would be in those places if they knew I were armed better than the average street cop while there. That’s okay. Like their recpharm and other things that I don’t need to know about and don’t care about, they need not know about my warts, unless things get really bad and it becomes necessary to play sheepdog again.

Years ago, my wife at the time and myself were in Atlanta, being given the grand tour by a friend who was doing contract work for their Chamber Of Commerce. She took us to more points of interest in one day than we could have found by ourselves in a week or two. One of the really cool things was this place called “Eats”. The food was great, it was cheap, and literally everybody seemed to eat there. On our visit, I noted people from just about every ethnicity imaginable, cops, “outlaw” bikers, hippies, and more in the place. Everyone was polite and respectful of everyone else. There were not hateful stares, no cross words, or other signs of ill will during our visit to that place. There is something to be said for that.

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9" November 9, 2014 at 7:30 am

Right On,Man;)

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Bible Thumper November 9, 2014 at 8:00 am

Maybe so, but you’re only seeing the survivors. I support each to his own thing, but hippie culture used to be much bigger and it declined for a reason. Hippie culture also has it’s Charles Manson’s. Many were dead by the age of 27.

Subcultures like hippies can only survive if protected by the main stream culture. Hippie culture would never survive or thrive if it was the dominant culture.

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CorruptionInColumbia November 9, 2014 at 8:12 am

There is probably some truth to that, BT. The pockets that do exist though, are an oasis for conflict weary minds and souls. Not only that, they have great coffee, food, and music!

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Bible Thumper November 9, 2014 at 8:16 am

Agreed.

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Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 10:02 am

Not all who used drugs were hippies, including the ones who died. The list of coke-head suit-wearing Republicans in positions of power would blow people away if all on it were ever revealed. Who imagines that T-Rav and his buddies who did all that blow with him were the exception to the rule around the time that he got popped? Likely, you don’t even believe that yourself.

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Bible Thumper November 9, 2014 at 10:34 am

True. The T-Ravs see drugs as merely a recreational activity. Some became addicted. Hippies saw drugs as a path to enlightenment, a lifestyle and a solution to societies problems. Turn on. Drop out. Hippies view was more dangerous, but fortunately discredited even by many of them.

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Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 11:34 am

An over-simplification, but there is some truth to it. It was mainly psychelics, plus weed to a certain extent, that was ever viewed as “a path to enlightenment. And yes, some of us did question that, even then. I figured out around 1969 that Timothy Leary was a dangerous fraud.
Cocaine is an energizing and focusing drug in certain quantities. Ask some of Tom Rice’s peeps about that. You can also do copious amounts of drinking on it without passing out, and Repub pols do love their booze.
Heroin is more about total escape than finding enlightenment. However, there has been much written about mystical states obtained through various opiates, and a great many jazz, blues, R&B and Rock musicians went that route.
The opiates and the stimulants account for most drug deaths, and even though they began to infest the “hippie culture” fairly early on, they were not central to it, as were weed, mushrooms, acid, MDA, etc.

Soft Sigh from Hell November 9, 2014 at 4:27 pm

“Cocaine is an energizing and focusing drug in certain quantities”

Chewed coca leaves help keep Andean peasants going in their somewhat dire existence (hard, cold, malnourished). I have often wondered why some form of diluted coca alkaloids were not placed in military pilots’ survival packs.

euwe max November 9, 2014 at 11:33 pm

drug abusers make it hard on us drug users – Marilyn Manson

sparklecity November 10, 2014 at 11:48 am

Actually, “pep” pills were included in WWII aircrew E&E kits

Just read a good article on that subject in this month’s “Air Force Association” magazine
And we could get perscription Ambien when i was in Iraq/Afghanistan if we went to the flight doc. I never took it but a lot of other flight crew did.
The other thing to do was “save up” and get one hell of a buzz when you got back stateside.!!!!

9" November 9, 2014 at 6:30 pm

All mine,and I’m talking,dropping like flies:Cigarettes.

Buz Martin November 10, 2014 at 2:55 am

Makes me think of something a gay junkie said to me, many decades ago. He pointed to a Heath bar wrapper on the ground, on the sidewalk near the Lower East Side apartment building front porch where we were sitting. The logo has the H at the beginning and the H at the end, intentionally, so you get the subliminal message “eat Heath.” He read it differently. “H eat H”, he said, “Story of my life.”

sparklecity November 10, 2014 at 11:40 am

I lost two of my closest friends due to alcoholism (not car accident related whatsoever – they literally drank themselves to death and were near the top of their game before they spiraled downward).
I tire of self-righteous types who think they know what is best for everyone else.
Legalize drugs and get it over with.
here is what i propose:
Totally legalize reefer,”shrooms” and the like
As far as heroin and the like, allow the individual to sign a waiver (while totally sober) and after 5 years of full blown addiiction and all the drugs they can shoot up at a closed down military or prison facility, give the a final lethal “mickey”

9" November 11, 2014 at 9:39 am

I agree,but don’t get too down on Heroin,which was originally,marketed by,Bayer(aspirin company),as a cure for Morphine addiction.If you know what you’re getting,Heroin/Morphine are fairly innocuous,as long as you have access.People can function incredibly well while addicted to opiates,with little harm to the body.It’s the withdrawals that cause problems.It’s possible to live a long and healthy life while addicted to opiates;you can’t say that about too many other substances of abuse…

shifty henry November 10, 2014 at 1:06 am

What about peyote, which I use to see/hear about? What’s going on with that these days?

Bible Thumper November 10, 2014 at 1:30 am

Shifty, you saved the link on “Scientists say atheists don’t exist.” Well here is another from the atheists perspective. The title doesn’t quite fit. What gets me is that the author and the experts quoted just assume that because of the flaws in religion (which I admit) the world would be better off without it. I just don’t see where atheists have succeeded in building any better societies. They are finding that a lot of the westerners who join Al Qaeda and ISIS had very little religion in their homes. Seems to me their is a spiritual part of the psyche that if not nourished can go badly astray.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/11/09/why-are-millenials-unfriending-organized-religion.html

SCBlues November 9, 2014 at 5:52 pm

“Hippie culture also has it’s Charles Manson’s.”
Oh good grief! Non-hippie culture had and has it’s Charles Manson’s and worse. Christian culture has it’s Charles Manson’s.

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CorruptionInColumbia November 9, 2014 at 6:03 pm

Direct Hit Alert!!!!

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diamond jim:elections have con November 9, 2014 at 6:24 pm

lol…you miserable Hitler types abort over a MILLION children a year-the Democrat Party is worse than nazi Germany was.

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Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 9:56 am

That’s the way people live real life. What passes for real life lived on blog comment threads is another story. Especially when the hateful fascist trolls spam those threads with all their pernicious and malicious sockpuppetry and asshattery.

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Native Ink November 9, 2014 at 8:28 am

It’s too bad most of the girls in Asheville are now tatted up from head to toe. I hung out with Deadheads when I was in college, but most of us could clean up pretty good. Back then, tattoos weren’t a big thing. I’m not sure what these girls are going to think when they look into the mirror at 40 and have neck tattoos of pot leaves and bands they don’t even listen to anymore.

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It's a Great Day in SC November 9, 2014 at 10:44 am

Tell your kids to go into Plastic Surgery with an emphasis on tatoo removal.

It’s gonna be a sure fire growth industry in the future!

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Foot Doctor November 10, 2014 at 8:49 am

Podiatry from all the flip-flops. Bank it. Problem with the tat crowd is that by then most will not be able to afford the surgery.

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Native Ink November 11, 2014 at 12:58 pm

LOL. I used to wear flip-flops all the time. Now if I even wear them to the beach, my feet hurt the next day. You speak the truth, sir.

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Buz Martin November 9, 2014 at 10:11 am

So. FITS runs a simple, unassuming self-pinned “puff piece” about his vacation, and the comment thread blows up.

Let’s see ya top that, Mistah Lawrence.

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GaryJR November 9, 2014 at 10:18 am

Don’t forget Pack’s Tavern and Farm Burger (grass fed only).

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9" November 9, 2014 at 12:04 pm

My favorite Hippie memory was seeing Procol Harum after swallowing many purple microdots and spending the night with my new buddy,a local cop who’d quickly discovered a love for marijuana.He went to sleep.I was wired till the following evening:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHnLwSIwhzM

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BishopAndrewGeralesGentry November 9, 2014 at 2:55 pm

Asheville is an over priced over rated tourist trap for mostly rich white Yankees and those that want to be rich white Yankees! It is about as genuine as imitation leather. Asheville has the highest cost of living and the lowest pay scale in the state! Lastly it’s PD is no friend to dissent or minorities.

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E Norma Scok November 9, 2014 at 6:50 pm

And?

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Bible Thumper November 9, 2014 at 7:22 pm

If Ashville attracts rich white Yankees, then it can’t be overpriced. Prices are set by the market place. In a free market with no price controls, monopolies, or collusion to fix prices, prices are set by the free market.

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SCBlues November 9, 2014 at 7:51 pm

“Asheville is an over priced over rated tourist trap for mostly rich white Yankees and those that want to be rich white Yankees”
Not the Asheville that I know . . . maybe you mean Nashville? It is much more of a tourist trap than Asheville will ever be.

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Jeff Jankowiak November 16, 2014 at 5:26 pm

Fat redneck sodomite trailer trash

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shifty henry November 9, 2014 at 3:47 pm

Why drinking booze introduces you to interesting folks— after watching that “free women” video, this guy gave me his thoughts on it —–

It’s all the way you look at them. If you give some thought to it, you won’t decide women are so beautiful. Men are always talking about how beautiful a woman’s breasts are. Go look at one. Suppose women were built different than they are today. Suppose all the women in the world had only one breast apiece and it was right in the middle and had tits on it like a cow. What would the men say: Beautiful! They’d go around grabbing at that unsightly thing and talking about how lovely and round it was, and how pink, and so on. All right. Suppose that’s the way it was, and along comes a woman with two breasts like they got now. Good God! That woman would be a circus freak and men wouldn’t be able to look at her without getting sick at the stomach. So I got it figured out that a woman’s breasts are unbeautiful, not to mention downright ugly.

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CorruptionInColumbia November 9, 2014 at 6:08 pm

We’d get past it. After all, “it’s that thing between her thighs that makes my Levis rise”.

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Bible Thumper November 9, 2014 at 7:16 pm

Shifty, that is the argument that feminist make. They say that men obsession with breast is cultural and has no biological bases. To a certain degree that is true. Breasts in our culture are normally covered and that increases our interest. We realize that the real women we are likely to be involved with are not like the “Victoria Secret” model types we see in the media and online and they are often photo shopped. Real women are a disappointment to some who expect more. I appreciate normal women and think most implants are way over done.

The biological argument is that humans are the only mammals in which the breasts develop at puberty instead of at pregnancy. This leads one to theorize that this is because they attract males. Most women are inherently aware of this.

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E Norma Scok November 9, 2014 at 6:44 pm

Is it a surprise that no kids = nice city?
Either way, you f’ers in Columbia are continually amazed when you go somewhere and it isn’t covered with trash and bums.
One day maybe you’ll realize the rest of the world doesn’t live that shit.

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carls jr November 10, 2014 at 12:40 am

STFU

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GrandTango November 10, 2014 at 8:28 am

Yeah: to perverts like you, kids are only good for molesting, in order to increase the homosexual population. We have the results of some research on your movement at SCPSD.

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mary November 10, 2014 at 6:00 pm

What a dumb ass.

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Buz Martin November 10, 2014 at 8:33 am

BEST Weekend FITS “Keep Stirring The Pot” Post Ever.

Now you need to challenge the female crew to match this accomplishment.

Then bring back Kate Upton’s marvelous titties, Please and Than You.

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sparklecity November 10, 2014 at 10:21 am

Tupelo Honey?????
Are you kidding??? it’s no different than Chipotle Grill (aka = the McDonald’s for Gen X & Y’ers) as far as marketing goes = overrated and over priced.
“Jack of The Woods” is where you want to go for a good burger and local/craft brew (I’m talking Belgin White baby!!!) and good Celtic music
I’d wager that Mrs. FITS was in charge of the schedule so I’m not surprised that Tupelo Honey was where they ended up for dinner.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve seen 30ish-40ish couples eating at a Tupelo’s in either Asheville or Greenville. The women are good with it and the guys look like they wish they were at a sports bar!!!

The Thristy Monk right across the street from Jack of The Woods is another great place for craft/local brews too.
I’ve got old service buddies up there and i ride my motor-sykel up there on a regular basis to have a few brews with them.
Been passing through Asheville since 1968. it’s a good town and not near as tight-assed as most places in South Carolina fer sure!!!!!

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Spicy Pickles November 10, 2014 at 12:39 pm

Of Mayfel’s.

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PBR Capital of the World November 10, 2014 at 12:20 pm

Nobody here drinks “domestics.”

Are you serious? Every bar there sells PBR and droves of hippies partake.

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Ted E Bear November 10, 2014 at 1:45 pm

Isn’t that where they had that topless march a while back? sounds like a happenin berg

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Toyota Kawaski November 10, 2014 at 4:33 pm

wrong on the breakfest: Sunny Pointe all the way

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Toyota Kawaski November 10, 2014 at 4:35 pm

edit* breakfast

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Christian LeBlanc November 10, 2014 at 7:03 pm

“Kids? Not a one…Strange…”

Strange? Ya kiddin’ rite?

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The Truth November 11, 2014 at 9:25 am

In other words…high tax and regulation cities are great places….

Funny how all the truly great places in America arent run by conservatives or even Republicans…maybe one day yo morons will start to make the connection that republican policies are great for making a few millionaires get richer…but lousy for making great places to live and visit..

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Native Ink November 11, 2014 at 1:09 pm

Yep, without regulation Asheville’s mountains would be covered in tacky retirement communities. Reynolds Mountain, Asheville’s ugly thumb, is an example of what happens to a beautiful place when a developer has the “freedom” to pursue his own greedy agenda, community be damned.

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