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Mande: On Columbus Day (And Other Stuff)

“LIVE BY THE GUN, DIE BY THE GUN” By MANDE WILKES  ||  Oh, how I wish to be the sort of person who could blithely wish y’all a happy Columbus Day, and simply let people enjoy their day off. Alas, this ill-advised “holiday” only reinvigorates my contempt for government, colonialism,…

“LIVE BY THE GUN, DIE BY THE GUN”

mande wilkesBy MANDE WILKES  ||  Oh, how I wish to be the sort of person who could blithely wish y’all a happy Columbus Day, and simply let people enjoy their day off. Alas, this ill-advised “holiday” only reinvigorates my contempt for government, colonialism, contrived designations and nationalism.

There’s also contempt aplenty for those poorly produced commercials announcing holiday furniture-store closeouts, but I digress …

The reasons why we should roll our eyes at Columbus Day are legion, and I won’t here bore you with a rundown of the revisionary history that makes this “holiday” equal part sham and shame. Wikipedia more than adequately lays it out, if you’re that interested.

(Nonetheless, a pearl of wisdom: Christopher Columbus never in fact set foot on the land that would become the United States).

What I’d rather discuss is this: Has America’s “discovery” been good or bad?

Wait … in a post-Patriot Act world, I could probably be gagged and bound for suggesting that our nation might not be exactly gilded.  Better that I reword: In what ways would the world be different had Columbus not paved the way for European colonization of native American lands?

There’s a lot of talk from a lot of people, about the U.S. having lost its (her?) way.  I’m guilty of this, too, even though I find that kind of romanticism both tired and inaccurate.  Yet it persists, this idea that America was once upon a time a good and righteous place, founded on good and righteous principles.

Principles like, I suppose … slavery and treason and genocide.  Because the fact is that those institutions germinated America’s birthright.  Which is why it’s silly to pretend that the country was “on the right track” at some point in the past – whether you think that point was during Ronald Reagan’s tenure or pre-segregation or pre-Obama or post-Bush or whenever.

For all my perceived cynicism, I’m inclined to believe our country has gotten better – not worse – since its inception. Though that’s damning by faint praise for sure, since the inception was pretty freaking awful.  It strikes me that six of the eleven federal holidays have been set aside to commemorate acts of either treason or wartime activity.

But that’s not remarkable, really, for a country that arose from those very pursuits.  What’s that saying?  Live by the gun, die by the gun.  Or something.

Bitterly ironic is how the same conditions that led to America’s establishment have wormed their way into our system.  The onerous taxation, the preponderance of money in electoral outcomes, the aristocracy of the lobbying class, the squashing of speech in deference to “security” … and on and on.

Oh, another bitter irony?  Columbus and his men brought communicable diseases to the natives.  Today, a growing number of officials want our borders locked down in order to prevent wanderers from arriving with Ebola.

Anyway …

If nothing else, today is good for reflecting on from whence we came, where we are, and where we’re heading.  Or you might be just as happy to take advantage of the furniture sales, which would be more in line with the American way, no?

Mande Wilkes is a wife, mother, businesswoman, author, etc. residing on the South Carolina coast with her family.

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85 comments

Jackie Chiles October 13, 2014 at 4:00 pm

The “genocide” of the Native Americans caused by the Spanish was mostly an accidental one. By the time the British arrived in North America, upwards of 90% of the Native Americans had been killed from smallpox or other diseases accidentally brought during the Columbian Exchange.

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SC Political Digest October 13, 2014 at 4:53 pm

Is it really “genocide” if it was accidental? ….

It’s funny how liberals (not you Jackie) will pray to the gods of Darwin…but when true natural selection manifests, they S#!* their pants, and call Darwin (or his theory) a murderer. (:

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Read up October 13, 2014 at 5:48 pm

You need to read up on Columbus’ “adventures” in the new world.

http://indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com/2014/10/13/9-teaching-resources-tell-truth-about-columbus-157311

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Buz Martin October 13, 2014 at 6:08 pm

Partly true. It was indeed “accidental” that diseases were spread by the Spanish which wiped out the vast majority of the native people. At the same time, the Spanish were a plundering, raping, land-grabbing lot, justifying everything they did by saying Jesus wanted them to do it. They were to be followed by wave after wave of other Euros with the same game plan and justification for it.

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Toyota Kawaski October 13, 2014 at 4:20 pm

I wish you and your typewriter would join Christoper and sail back to Spain!!

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Hog October 13, 2014 at 6:03 pm

Go wash your rice burner, super patriot.

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afmajret October 14, 2014 at 1:30 pm

Now, that was ugly. Shame on you.

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itsmorninginamerica October 13, 2014 at 4:20 pm

a terrific illustration of the thoughtless way self-described ‘conservatives’ feel about the country. they love it dogmatically while despising everything about it.

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john dozier October 13, 2014 at 4:21 pm

Pure drivel-almost as bad as a WIS “editorial”.

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9" October 13, 2014 at 4:34 pm

Be honest.How many people checked their mail today?

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I checked it three times... October 13, 2014 at 4:46 pm

Oh, fuck!

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9" October 13, 2014 at 4:59 pm

I checked twice,and then remembered.Happens every year.
What a great holiday.

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idcydm October 13, 2014 at 4:52 pm

I did but I retired and forgot to check it Saturday, so I did have mail. But it’s my wife’s fault she wanted me to take a letter to the mailbox before the postman came.

Damn did I put the flag up????

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SC Political Digest October 13, 2014 at 4:55 pm

A lot of yall always gettin’ a gub’ment check…So that mailbox done got good to you…. (:

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Medicaid October 13, 2014 at 5:07 pm

You would know…

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idcydm October 13, 2014 at 5:10 pm

I’ve come to the conclusion that some people on this site aren’t worth a Reply.

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Fucking Irony October 13, 2014 at 6:12 pm

Yeah, you!

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idcydm October 13, 2014 at 8:57 pm

Bless your heart.

easterndumbfuckistan October 13, 2014 at 5:43 pm

I avoided that trap but about 6 or 7 mailboxes up and down my rural road have flags up.

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Government holiday's all year! October 13, 2014 at 5:49 pm

Oh yea, that was me. I also managed to ask a cop around the local court house last month on 9/11 why all the firetrucks, police cars and stuff were there with their lights on in the parking lot.

He looked at me like I was mentally ill, “9-11 man….”

I just nodded my head and thought, “Damn, I actually didn’t let the terrorists into my head today. I’m sure he thinks I’m crazy, but who gives a shit.”

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Limbaughsaphatkhunt October 13, 2014 at 4:37 pm

Hark!!! What’s this? A column that Mande wrote I actually agree with….
Cogent, accurate, well written….well done and this could be the start of a new relationship between us :-)

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Guest October 13, 2014 at 4:46 pm

You can immigrate back to Palestine any time bitch.

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Get Realz October 13, 2014 at 4:49 pm

Go fuck yourself, Shitbag.

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SC Political Digest October 13, 2014 at 4:50 pm

Bomb babies much???….LMAO….

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Everybody October 13, 2014 at 6:01 pm

Jealous that somebody wrote a blog and other people actually read it and commented on it? You’d think somebody who depends of benefit checks would be against a day that stopped mail delivery?

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Hymie Bagelton October 13, 2014 at 5:54 pm

Did you mean Israel?

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You October 13, 2014 at 6:02 pm

Weird to run into an actual fan of genocide.

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Guest October 13, 2014 at 8:59 pm

Listen Ms. JAP, we’re the country that liberated your tribe. You’re the one with disdain for *that* country. So take a hike, and go back to the squalor of your people’s homeland since you hate us so much.

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Buz Martin October 13, 2014 at 6:03 pm

Mande is a Southern girl who is also Jewish. To my knowledge she never lived in Israel.

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Guest October 14, 2014 at 1:35 am

I never lived in Spain or anywhere else in Europe and yet she condemns my country for what Exsploeres and settlers did from the Old World. So it is relevant to highlight what her tribe is guilty of too. And she can cease being a hypocrite by benefiting from “White Privilige” and move back to where her people are from before they came here and shylocked everyine, indigenous. And otherwise into the poorhouse.

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Buz Martin October 14, 2014 at 7:36 am

Whine much about a mere statement of opinion? Holy shit! Wrap you in a flag, stick a roman candle up your ass, light it, and call you a blazing ass patriot, Jesus Lord almighty!

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Thomas October 14, 2014 at 2:08 am

The territory called
Gaza historically was occupied by Jews until 1948 when an attack by Arab League
forces destroyed their homes after President Harry Truman told Britain to go to
hell after their claim to the area since WWI officially expired in 1948.
Truman’s State Department spearheaded UN Resolution 181 calling for the State
of Israel. A last minute change in how the Jews and Arab refugees should
coexist called for a partitioning of the reinvigorated Jewish homeland, Israel.
Originally, the Arabs in the area were to live in a Jewish state as Israelites.

This author flatly
disagrees there is any right for a Palestinian Authority to rule over a
Palestinian People as Palestinians are a myth. After retaking Judea and
Jerusalem in 137 AD, the Roman Empire renamed the conquered territory Palestine
to slander the Jews they conquered. Remember, many Jews despised the Roman
occupation and openly revolted. Since the late 1000’s AD, many empires and
armies have occupied the Holy Land creating Jewish refugees who fled their
homeland. The Roman Empire went Christian in the late 300’s AD. Christianity
thrived in the Middle East until the 500’s AD. Shoot, Islam was not a cult of
death until it was invented by Mohammad, a murderous pedophile who through an
unconfirmed and never repeated visitation of the Archangel Gabriel told him to
reform Christianity. The Crusades began as an attempt to drive out Musloid
invaders who over ran Jerusalem. On their way to Jerusalem some Crusaders
decided to sack Constantinople and restore Rome as the Seat of Christianity.
This caused the East-West Schism in Christianity around 1054 AD.

Anyway, the UN
Resolution 181 called for a partitioning of Judea in 1948 when granting Israel
full statehood. However, it did not happen. Attacked, Israel regained the whole
area by beating the Arab League forces from Egypt, Yemen, Saudi Arabia, Syria,
Iraq, Lebanon on the battlefield. British forces in Transjordan occupied
Jerusalem exclusively while Truman sided with neither of the combatants. It was
Britain that wanted an Arab state in a partitioned Judea now called the State
of Israel. A partitioning born from their selfish claims to the area’s
resources through the appeasement of Arab leaders and misguiding the UN fact
finding team. They got their wish.

In 1967, Israel beat
back the Arab League nation’s attacks, again, for the second time. The UN has
always stated in their charters nations have a right to exist. The territory
gained was rightfully Israel’s! This author is not clear on who pressured
Israel to back down from their 1967 military victories and the land they
rightfully took back, but you can bet Britain and a certain tool named James
Earl Carter had a hand in it during the 1979 Oslo Accords that pretty much
gives us the bloodshed we see today. Having given back the Sinai Peninsula, the
Golan Heights, and Gaza to appease radical Islam, enter the Bush
Administrations with open acknowledgement to belonging to a hidden bunch called
Skull and Bones. Suddenly, Ariel Sharon out of nowhere decided to force Jews
out of Gaza in 2005. This move really was another step back for Israel. Or was
he forced to leave Gaza? This is more bull shit.

So if you ask this
author, any non Jewish person in Israel are Arab refugees from Ottoman Empire
and British Empire occupations. Jews and Christians lived in Judea/Israel since
Constantine the Great while Jews lived there exclusively (at least) since 1000 BC
when the 12 Tribes formed a Constitutional Monarchy.

So yes, the folks who
are slaughtered by indiscriminate rocket fire from Gaza into Israel then from
calibrated responses from Israel into Gaza are innocent victims of a calculated
framework imposed from outsiders to divide Israel and embolden Musloid fanatics
who are not “palestinians” per se, rather arab refugees living in the
state of Israel which should never have been partitioned in the first place and
likely forced to remain Musloid since converting away from Islam was met with
public executions.

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SC Political Digest October 13, 2014 at 4:50 pm

SECEDE!!!!! …Adios, you pop culture, self-loathing cliche…You probably learned your history from the liberals on SNL.

Er’body gotta be somewhere –I just just wish you guilt-ridden, never REALLY earned a D*#n thing, leftist silver-spoons would get the H#!! out of my country.

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Get Realz October 13, 2014 at 4:58 pm

Lol. Coming from a douchebag, maybe your ilk needs to get the fuck out.

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He's a shut in, basically October 13, 2014 at 6:09 pm

That would involve getting out of the computer chair and actually leaving the house. Something GrandTango aka Emily Peterkin aka Big T is incapable of doing.

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The Colonel October 13, 2014 at 5:18 pm

“…Nonetheless, a pearl of wisdom: Christopher Columbus never in fact set foot on the land that would become the United States…”

Depends on how you look at it – last time I looked, Puerto Rico was “part of the United States”. Columbus landed at San Juan, Puerto Rico in October of 1493 (He named it San Juan Bautista)

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Statehood or Hood State? October 13, 2014 at 5:58 pm

“Puerto Rico was “part of the United States”

I think I read someplace that if PR ever became a state, 95% of it’s citizens would qualify for welfare. That was around 20 years or so ago…so maybe things are better for them now.

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The Colonel October 13, 2014 at 9:13 pm

Not much, still one of my favorite places to vacation though.

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sparklecity October 13, 2014 at 9:57 pm

Ever go to the cockfights by the airport???
I.e. The San Juan Cockfighting Club
Now THAT”s some sport and not the redneck shit in a barn on the edge of the woods!!!!!
it’s all legit, beer and liquor are available complete with “ring-girls’ and the loosers are made into chicken pie!!!!
it’s the only place in the world where a gamecock is 100% sure of winning!!!
Did a few months there flying “Coronet Oak” missions……………

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The Colonel October 13, 2014 at 10:08 pm

Club Galistico! Wife wasn’t impressed but I thought it was pretty cool. Definitely not a backwoods operation. Don’t think cock fighting would have quite the stigma it does if the meets in the states were run like that. Probably not real PC these days but it was an interesting diversion.

sparklecity October 13, 2014 at 11:13 pm

i saw more money being flashed there than in Las Vegas!!! And those old Puerto Rican gentlemen did not worry one bit about getting rolled. The cock fightiing club was the safetest place in San Juan
Sitting up in the seats drinking a cold brew or rum & Coke and watching two chickens killing each other while eating chicken pie is not a bad way to spend a day off on crew rest.
Defintely not PC and I draw the line at cockfighting (as the way it is is done in San Juan which is legit & sanctioned as hell).

9" October 13, 2014 at 7:50 pm

If you want to get scientific about it,fairly recent archaeological finds, suggest the earliest Americans were from,Europe.There’s an etching of a Woolly Mammoth ON a Woolly Mammoth tooth,discovered in Florida,that’s far more ‘sophisticated’ than Indian art.Not that it really matters,but it is interesting.

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The Colonel October 13, 2014 at 7:56 pm

We know the Vikings ventured far down the east coast but that’s the first I’ve heard of this woolly mammoth tooth thing. Got a link?

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The Colonel October 13, 2014 at 9:12 pm

Very cool, I don’t know how I missed this.

9" October 13, 2014 at 10:49 pm

Archaeology is fascinating.Most people have heard about the ruins at Pompeii,but are unaware of what a long and tedious process excavation is.I’m not sure of the percentage,now,but most of that site,is still being gone over with a fine tooth comb,would be my best guess…

Gregory Geddings October 13, 2014 at 5:25 pm

I am as far to the left as anyone who has ever posted here and I think her essay was thoughtful and provocative. I am guessing that Mande has read Howard Zinn’s classic work “A People’s History of the United States.” This is a truly awesome read about the stuff that school boards refuse to include in textbooks…including Columbus’ propensity to chop of the hands of the natives who were not submissive to and worshipful of their Spanish masters.

Good job, Mande!

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Gregory Geddings October 13, 2014 at 5:31 pm

“chop off”

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Dr. Mammary October 13, 2014 at 5:45 pm

Your brain has been infected by big tittyitus.

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Same ol' Same ol' October 15, 2014 at 8:00 am

I believe that is true. A hearty, “Thanks for the mammaries”.

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SCBlues October 13, 2014 at 6:23 pm

“Good job, Mande!”
I agree 100%. I am really shocked at some of the hateful comments.

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Gregory Geddings October 13, 2014 at 5:25 pm

I am as far to the left as anyone who has ever posted here and I think her essay was thoughtful and provocative. I am guessing that Mande has read Howard Zinn’s classic work “A People’s History of the United States.” This is a truly awesome read about the stuff that school boards refuse to include in textbooks…including Columbus’ propensity to chop of the hands of the natives who were not submissive to and worshipful of their Spanish masters.

Good job, Mande!

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Mike at the Beach October 13, 2014 at 5:36 pm

Self-loathing in the libertarian camps, as usual. Terrible, terrible place, the US. That’s actually a lucky break for us; if this really was a land of freedom and opportunity, people would be breaking their asses to get here. What a pain that would be.

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RogueElephant October 13, 2014 at 7:14 pm

It always amazes me the number of people wanting to get into this ” hell hole “compared to the number wanting to get out . LOL Maybe they know something the liberaltarians don’t. Ya think !

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Crooner October 13, 2014 at 7:32 pm

It amazes me the number of people who would give anything to come here and pay our outrageous taxes.

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Mike at the Beach October 13, 2014 at 8:39 pm

Very true! I’ve also noticed that most of the whiny bitches who think that the US is some kind of evil force in this world haven’t lived outside of the US much. Spend a few years “out there” and you’ll get it. Not only the sandbox, either- I spent a good bit of time in Europe and South America. I’m back…

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easterndumbfuckistan October 13, 2014 at 10:25 pm

America is a great place and a great nation. Even South Carolina with all its faults is a great place. We have an amazing history, great natural beauty including mountains, beaches, history, lakes and rivers.

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Mike at the Beach October 13, 2014 at 10:30 pm

Oh, stop…the angry, unhappy little people in their moms’ basements will troll you and call you names. Maybe even in all caps.

Brenda October 14, 2014 at 7:27 am

You said it, Mike! I’m so sick of U.S. citizens griping constantly about how bad things are here. There’s a multitude of other countries that they can move to, so please, please, let them do us all a favor and go! You either love your country or you don’t. There is no in between. Move to Mexico or Africa and trash talk your city or town oe whatever, and see how long your sorry behinds last. Coincidentally, most of the ones griping are riding the government, too. Do us another favor if you decide to remain here – shut up, get off your lazy whining butt and go to work!

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Stroking my inner sheep October 15, 2014 at 2:01 am

Life is so much easier when everything is black and white. I find an inner peace when I settle into unquestioning mediocrity.

Mike at the Beach October 14, 2014 at 9:29 am

Our boy Ravenel promised to leave, but even he couldn’t find a better joint (despite his whining about not being allowed to possess a weapon anymore since he’s a convicted drug felon). It hurts some peoples’ feelings for some strange reason, but as it turns out the US is a pretty damn good place to live…

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easterndumbfuckistan October 13, 2014 at 5:42 pm

Life is better here now than it would be if Columbus hadn’t “Discovered” America. I’m a fairly high percentage Native American, but the truth is still the truth. Just like the descendants of former slaves are better off than they would be without slave ships transporting their ancestors here. If the bad parts of history were just removed what we recognize as society today wouldn’t exist and what would be in it’s place would likely not be nearly as comfortable for most.

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Buz Martin October 13, 2014 at 6:12 pm

I am a high percentage Indian as well, and I very much agree. History was what it was. Virtually all that we were taught about the founding of this nation was revisionist garbage to begin with, and no if you bring it up you are accused of being the revisionist. That’s just bullshit. I don’t bring up the past on such matters for the purpose of running down the USA. I bring it up because it is the fucking truth.

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easterndumbfuckistan October 13, 2014 at 8:26 pm

There was a BBC show with James Burke called Connections that used to run on TLC (before it became the Honey Boo Boo Network). That showed how interconnected history is, change one thing and boom.

As to the history we were taught vs what happened, every culture has to have it’s founding “myth” ours is closer to the truth than most but it’s most assuredly whitewashed. Though I’ve studied a lot of the non-revised non-whitewashed versions and truthfully they are much more interesting. Benjamin Franklin has always been one of my favorite founders and when you start digging in his life he becomes much more so. He was in his 70s when he was Ambassador to France and was reported by multiple sources to be carrying on many affairs with much younger French ladies. I hope I can be that lucky one day. LOL

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Buz Martin October 13, 2014 at 9:14 pm

Yep! The myths serve some good purposes, but when people dig in and insist they are gospel truth, it becomes absurd.
And I agree about Franklin. He lived life large, right up ’til the end.

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David October 13, 2014 at 5:43 pm

Spare us the mental masturbation of some self obsessed shiksa.

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Buz Martin October 13, 2014 at 9:17 pm

Let Mande do Mande, mentally or otherwise.

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Read up October 13, 2014 at 5:46 pm

That piece of shit never even set foot in what we call the United States. Anyone who supports celebrating Columbus Day is either completely ignorant of what this man did and participated in or you are a complete misanthropic bigot.

http://indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com/2014/10/13/9-teaching-resources-tell-truth-about-columbus-157311

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Well Named October 13, 2014 at 5:56 pm

It’s truly fitting that the capital of SC’s name is derived from Columbus. Both are really shitty, but ignorant ass people want to believe they are great.

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Buz Martin October 13, 2014 at 6:02 pm

Columbus was a mass murderer and rapist. A total monster. Plus everything Mande said above.

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HD October 13, 2014 at 6:06 pm

It’s a foolish exercise to try to retroactively impose modern mores and values on those who acted centuries ago. It accomplishes exactly nothing and proves even less.

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Really? October 13, 2014 at 6:14 pm

Yeah, murder, theft, rape were cool back then. Just ask the guys who did the killing and wrote history.

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RogueElephant October 13, 2014 at 7:09 pm

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed , there are no “war crime trials ” for the winners ? The best thing that ever happened to our ancestors is coming to America by whatever means they came.

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Guest October 14, 2014 at 1:29 am

Left-wingers celebrate and embrace “…By whatever means necessary” today, and condemn it in history.

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Guest October 14, 2014 at 1:29 am

Left-wingers celebrate and embrace “…By whatever means necessary” today, and condemn it in history.

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HD October 13, 2014 at 7:21 pm

Non-linear thinking is difficult for some people. No worries – it’s an impediment you share with many.

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Mike at the Beach October 13, 2014 at 8:35 pm

Nicely played…

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Bible Thumper October 13, 2014 at 6:13 pm

Where would Elizabeth Warren be if not for Columbus?
She would have no women’s rights, washing her braves loin cloth on a stone by the creek. She would be making corn meal with a bowl and pestle and sweeping the dirt floor of a teepee.

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Thomas October 13, 2014 at 6:53 pm

Why-so-serious?

Columbus Day marks the discovery of America in 1492 by Christians. Ahhh, 1492. Europe was Catholic. The Magna Carta, the corner stone for our Constitution and Common Law legal system was 277 years old. Bitter irony? Ever see Mel Gibson’s “Apocalypto”? Well you know the pagan religions back then were driven by appeasing their gods with human sacrifices involving total destruction of indigenous tribes involving cruel slavery. Well, Cortes was just about to be defeated when small pox appeared and cut down the Aztec armies. After the defeat of the Azrec gods Christianity via intercession by Our Lady in Guadalupe converted millions of people, ironically around the same time the King Henry VIII and Queen Elizabeth I started their own religion and murdering thousands of Christians in England.

Bitter Irony? Slavery in America was ushered in by Yellow Fever. Having killed off Native Americans and Europeans, Yellow Fever imported by trading ships from Africa enabled slavery to take of exponentially. You see, Africans were immune from Yellow Fever just as the survivors from Cortes’ contingency having almost been annihilated by the Aztecs were immune from small pox. Funny how viruses direct humans in one way or another. I wonder not how the Ebola pandemic will end, knowing who controls the worlds banks as it is.

I suggest reading “Viruses, Plagues, and History” by MICHAEL B. A. OLDSTONE if you want, and “Deadly Cultures: Biological Weapons since 1945” By Mark Wheelis, Lajos Rózsa. Good reads.

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sparklecity October 13, 2014 at 10:07 pm

You got a point………..
Sometime,somewhere homo sapiens will meet their “Waterloo” either by our own design or perhaps by alien invasion – who knows???. I’m pretty sure that IF there are any native Americans in that last vestage of humanity they can’t be blamed for having a smirk before they too disappear.
It’s only a matter of time and circumstance.
Anyhoo…..
Tomorrow (Tuesday) is Soylent Green day!!!!!

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sparklecity October 13, 2014 at 10:09 pm

BTW:
“Apocalypto” is a GREAT flick!!!
Kind of a rip-off of “The Naked Prey”
But a good flick non the less……………

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Bible Thumper October 13, 2014 at 7:03 pm

T-Rav is now on SC-ETV. Oh yeah and Hutto.

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Bible Thumper October 13, 2014 at 7:52 pm

The New World before Columbus:
No birth control.
No abortions.
No obstetricians.
No healthcare
No Indian Casinos.
No horses.
No “Fire water”
No glass jewelry.

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BIN News Editorial Staff October 13, 2014 at 8:19 pm

Our Funding Editor was on her third triple Metamucil and double Black Jack evening cocktail when she read this nonsense from Mandedeeee.

After re-reading it for the third time, she asked her Executive Chef to pour her another cocktail – this time with less Metamucil and an extra shot of Jack.

She thought that if she read this tripe one more time after another cocktail, it might make some sense. Wrong!

All it did was make her puke in her pantyhose.

What a sticky mess. All that Metamucil!

As her staff was cleaning it, we wondered what made her so sick?

Too much Jack?
Too much Metamucil?
No, too much Mandedeeee!

BIN News Editorial Staff
Flair and Balanced

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rip gandolfatass October 13, 2014 at 9:18 pm

there’s a great sopranos episode about columbus day. rip tony fatass

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