SC

Mia McLeod: S.C. In “State Of Denial”

Well … we’re number one again!  But before you get too happy, let me remind you … this is South Carolina. And being #1 when it comes to women who are killed by the men in their lives is nothing to celebrate, especially when women in our “great” state are more than…

Well … we’re number one again!  But before you get too happy, let me remind you … this is South Carolina. And being #1 when it comes to women who are killed by the men in their lives is nothing to celebrate, especially when women in our “great” state are more than twice as likely to be murdered here as a result of domestic violence than in any other state in the nation.

Why is that?

For starters … although some of us are forced to say, “It’s a great day in South Carolina,” nothing could be further from the truth. Too many of our women and children live in the “state” of Fear, while the rest of us comfortably reside in the “state” of denial. Until we begin to acknowledge the real “state” of our state, more women will die.

According to the Violence Policy Center in Washington, D.C., this isn’t the first time South Carolina has held the #1 spot and sadly, we’ve consistently ranked in the top 10 for many years. Guess that’s where we’ll stay until we decide to “move.”

The impact of violence against women on children is equally disturbing. Half of the men who assault their wives also physically abuse their children. Studies show that children who witness or experience violence at home may have long-term physical, emotional, and social problems. Consequently, they’re also more likely to become victims or perpetrators themselves, even while dating as teens.

Just after graduating law school, I worked at the S.C. Attorney General’s Office to launch the first statewide Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) Program, when South Carolina was #1 in the nation. Domestic violence was then viewed by many as a “private family matter,” so we were determined to “break the cycle” by identifying and implementing strategies that worked in other states with similar demographics.

Our collaborative efforts allowed us to transfer the burden of prosecution from the victim to the state, strengthen DV laws, set up DV Courts and train law enforcement, prosecutors, judges and victim advocates on how to appropriately handle DV cases.
But laws and policies are sometimes easier to change than mindsets and attitudes.  So here we are for the third time, back in the #1 spot.

In Richland County alone, at least 1,964 domestic assaults occurred from January 1, 2012 through October 9, 2013 and at least 421 of those assaults happened in Northeast Richland County.

At least five women in Richland County have already died this year and while the statistics are staggering, so too are the shattered lives of those we’re losing and those we’ve lost … like my cousin, who was gunned down last month at her Northeast Columbia home by her ex-fiance.

On average, three women are murdered every day in this country by a boyfriend, husband or ex-husband.  And for every victim of domestic violence who is killed, it’s estimated that nine more – including children, coworkers, neighbors, and police officers, are killed or injured while being in the midst of or trying to stop these violent acts.

Originally drafted in 1994 by Sen. Joe Biden and others, VAWA has been a catalyst for change in the lives of battered women.  And today, Vice President Biden’s unwavering commitment to end violence against women includes grant funding that continues to invest millions of federal dollars in support of innovative programs aimed at predicting potentially lethal behavior, stopping the violence before it escalates and saving lives. This year, Congress reauthorized VAWA, to include protections for Native Americans and “intimate partners.”

According to the S.C. Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault (SCCADVASA):

  • Sixty-one females were murdered by males in South Carolina…more than twice the national average·
  • Four of these victims were 18 years of age or younger; and the average homicide victim was 38 years old
  • 22 were black; 39 were white
  • At least 33 of these women were murdered by their husbands, common-law-husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends or ex-boyfriends
  • Of the women who were murdered, 52% were killed with guns

But why should you care?  You probably don’t have children, parents, siblings, relatives, friends or coworkers.  Perhaps you’re too educated, too professional, too smart or just too busy to be concerned about “those” people, who obviously choose to stay in abusive relationships. That could never be you or someone you love, right?

If that’s your auto-response, you definitely reside in “denial.” And folks who live there love it because they’re able to getaway to neighboring states, like “oblivion” and “comfort” when things get a little rough. After all, ”It’s a great day…” in those “states” everyday, full of “smiling faces and beautiful places.”

But for those who live in “fear” or the next “state” over … in South Carolina, real women of every age, race, religion, culture, sexual orientation, educational and socio-economic level … are dying.

How many more women have to die in this state before we’re willing to move from “denial” to “action?”

One? Two? Ten? Twenty?  What’s the magic number?

If you’re willing to consider moving to a different “state,” please join us for the first of a series of town hall meetings to discuss the impact of domestic violence on our communities:

Who:          Richland County Residents

What:        Town Hall Meeting on Domestic Violence

When:        Monday, October 28, 2013
                   6:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m.

Where:     Ridge View High School Auditorium

Let’s make South Carolina a safer, stronger state…together.

mia mcleod

Mia McLeod represents Richland County in the South Carolina House of Representatives.

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64 comments

Columbia PD October 15, 2013 at 9:03 am

Will Folks knows much about this subject, as the perpetrator who pled guilty for flying into a rage and kicking in a door to attack his live in girlfriend. What a hypocrite.

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Will Folks aka Sic October 15, 2013 at 9:27 am

yes ask anyone I beat women regularly. and lie about boning them. you got me CPD!

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Smirks October 15, 2013 at 10:00 am

I beat my SO regularly. At Words with Friends, anyways.

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Mia the Racist October 15, 2013 at 10:13 am

Who do you think you are kidding? You don’t have a wife.

You don’t even have a life.

(props to Dr. Seuss)

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Frank Pytel October 15, 2013 at 10:33 am

I think he was referring to 9″. He didn’t say wife. “SO” Significant Other.

Mia the Racist October 15, 2013 at 10:34 am

I’m sorry, I’m not familiar with fag speak. It all makes sense now.

Mike at the Beach October 15, 2013 at 2:37 pm

You seem like an angry little racist, you do…

Sailor October 15, 2013 at 10:24 am

While reading the article, I wondered just how long it would take some asshole to throw this up at Will. Congratulations, you’re the number 1 asshole.

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Mia the Racist October 15, 2013 at 9:08 am

If you are going to publish racial data, you better put it in context with the population numbers:

“22 were black; 39 were white”

Demographics from 2000 Census in SC:

2000 (total population) White: 68.88% Black 30.01%

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_South_Carolina

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Edward October 15, 2013 at 9:16 am

You are an idiot. I read the article twice to figure out what your comment meant, and have concluded your comment means nothing. It is just a statistic, nothing more. She didn’t try to extrapolate that statistic into anything other than simple numbers. 22 were black, 39 were white. That is all. So if you are a black person reading this site, 22 women you may identify with were killed by men. If you are a white person, 39.

It is obvious you are the racist by the name you used on this site and the fact your comment is completely irrelevant to anything other than a black woman wrote the article and you don’t like it.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein October 15, 2013 at 9:28 am

TBG wonders why it is racist to notice that women of color are more likely to be victimized than paleface women.

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Mia the Racist October 15, 2013 at 9:28 am

“She didn’t try to extrapolate that statistic into anything other than simple numbers. 22 were black, 39 were white”

If that was the case, why didn’t she just leave it at “61 females were murdered”?

You are truly a dumb fuck.

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Edward October 15, 2013 at 9:32 am

It is a statistic, you dumbass. Look up the definition of a statistic. Statistics don’t make you racist unless you attempt to twist them into something they are not, which she clearly did not.

statistic: a fact or piece of data from a study of a large quantity of numerical data.

Nothing more, nothing less.

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Mia the Racist October 15, 2013 at 9:34 am

YOU

ARE

A

DUMB

FUCK

Edward October 15, 2013 at 9:50 am

You are an angry man. Go wash your confederate flag curtains. You will feel better.

Mia the Racist October 15, 2013 at 9:52 am

“You are an angry man.”

This was your first sentence in your first response to me:

“You are an idiot.”

Who’s angry?

“I read the article twice to figure out what your comment meant, and have concluded your comment means nothing.”

This is my proof you are a dumb fuck.

Frank Pytel October 15, 2013 at 12:34 pm

Hey. STFU. Good flame war going on and your jacking it up.

Smirks October 15, 2013 at 10:03 am

The night your mother had you conceived was a “dumb fuck.”

Mia the Racist October 15, 2013 at 10:12 am

Have you ever considered that after post #2000, yet only 1 “follower”, that you might be better off gainfully employed?

EJB October 15, 2013 at 10:18 am

You can “follow” people in the Disqus circus???

Frank Pytel October 15, 2013 at 12:30 pm

while you gots a sammich’s too.

Smirks October 15, 2013 at 10:25 am

You have no clue about my life, that includes my marital status/romantic life, as well as my professional career. But please, continue making assumptions about my employment status. I’m rather amused.

Mia the Racist October 15, 2013 at 10:28 am

Well, we know you’re married, right? Or were you lying?

Smirks October 15, 2013 at 10:31 am
Mia the Racist October 15, 2013 at 10:38 am

Who outside of your fag filled world would know what SO is?

I can accept being a dumb fuck in regards to fag speak.

You should really accept your 2000 plus comments as an indicator of something other than gainful employment, or you are the worlds shittiest employee.

Are you a kept boy by your SO if not employed? Is pulling your weight taking it up the ass when necessary for food and housing? Or are you giver instead of taker?

Smirks October 15, 2013 at 10:50 am

Who outside of your fag filled world would know what SO is?

Oh, how pleasant, you really are a bigot.

When did I ever say I was gay? Anyone who has read my comments on this site for a decent length of time would be able to tell you that is clearly not the case.

“Significant other” can mean spouse, fiance, boyfriend/girlfriend, or anyone you are romantically (and/or sexually) involved with. Oh, wait, shit. I posted all those links and still tried to explain to you such a simple fact, but I forgot, you can’t read. Gawd!

You should really accept your 2000 plus comments as an indicator of something other than gainful employment, or you are the worlds shittiest employee.

Shouldn’t you be at work? Get back to work, Dave! You better not disappoint your wife and three kids! They might pay you minimum wage but you best be damn grateful for it!

See what I did? I made a few assumptions again, much like you have about me. This is fun.

I could give a rat’s ass about my 2000 comments. They’ve accumulated over multiple years of commenting on various sites. Many of them I spent a total of maybe 10 seconds typing, like the one regaling the tale about your mother’s fateful copulation of the rather unintelligent variety. I also don’t give a shit about my one “follower,” who before today I didn’t even know I had.

But safe to say if you’re worried I might be slacking off or unemployed, I might as well worry about the same for you.

TL;DR: Pardon my French “fag speak,” but you, my good sir, are a dumb fuck.

Mia the Racist October 15, 2013 at 10:59 am

So you’re not gay? I haven’t read many of your comments outside of this article. I just clicked on your profile and lo and behold you have commented 2000 times. Doesn’t that seem to be a lot of comments to you?

Come on now, be honest, you aren’t employed. Because if you were slacking you’d be the world biggest slacker and I really doubt that you are that good at anything.

Smirks October 15, 2013 at 11:09 am

You’re really hung up on the 2000 comments thing, aren’t you?

“Come on now, be honest, you aren’t employed.”

What did I assume your name was? Dave? I’m going to assume you’re a burger flipper. The fryer just dinged but you’re too busy typing away on your phone responding to me. The boss is visibly pissed and just as you hit the “post” button he gives you a verbal warning. Uh oh! Come on Dave! Get back to work Dave!

I like this. I’m going to assume you have great aspirations of one day being shift manager, but your crippling cell phone addiction is starting to take its toll on your illustrious career. Your wife spoke to you about this a week ago but it has only gotten worse. You need help Dave! Please, get help!

I’m also going to assume you have been battling romantic feelings towards your coworker, Rhonda, who works the register. She’s got a pony tail and the way she giggles makes you all giddy inside. You know she wants you, she looks at you all the time, but you can’t bring yourself to give in to her advances. What would your wife think, Dave? Do you want your kids to grow up without a dad?

Should we keep building up our separate imaginary worlds or are you satisfied? Because none of your comments have had any real worth other than giving me a chance to fuck with you.

Mia the Racist October 15, 2013 at 11:14 am

You aren’t employed. You are a professional commenter.

Smirks October 15, 2013 at 11:21 am

Oh, but a twist! Rhonda isn’t just an ordinary register girl, she’s an African American register girl! Dave fights the sexual urges he gets when around Rhonda, but try as he might, even his upbringing and his racist nature isn’t enough to quell his deviant desires! Even worse, Dave is afraid Rhonda will find out about his racist ways and never want to be with him! The scandal! The heartbreak! The suspense! What will happen when Dave and Rhonda get locked in the meat locker by accident one fateful night? Will Dave stay faithful to his wife, or will he give in and be one with the swirl? Will he finally become shift manager, or will he be fired and go homeless?

You’ll have to purchase my upcoming book, “Fifty Shades of FITS” to find out.

Mia the Racist October 15, 2013 at 11:29 am

How much time do you have? Do you place no value on it?

Smirks October 15, 2013 at 11:37 am

Holy crap, Mia the Racist, you’ve posted in this one page over ten times now! You unemployed slacker professional commenter who doesn’t value his time!

Ehh, I had some fun messing with you, so it wasn’t all a waste. I’m done for now, though. Have fun!

Mia the Racist October 15, 2013 at 11:44 am

You know what’s great?

Based on my screen size you’ve posted 79 lines of commentary in our back and forth. I’ve posted 24, including this response.

That’s over 3 to 1. So who fucked with who?

Sailor October 15, 2013 at 3:05 pm

Careful Smirks, the way she’s going after you, I think she may have the hots for you!

shifty henry October 15, 2013 at 12:29 pm

OOPS, Smirks — posted the previous comment before reading this one!

shifty henry October 15, 2013 at 12:27 pm

Hey, Smirks — Rhonda sounds cute and I’d like to meet her!

CorruptionInColumbia October 16, 2013 at 4:23 pm

Rhonda may be into golden showers being as she is one of the pianist people in Columbia.

shifty henry October 16, 2013 at 8:30 pm

HAH! You slipped that one by me – finally got it (the joke, not the shower)……..

disqus_BBDFSfiBQF October 15, 2013 at 1:24 pm

Rhonda Montgomery exemplifies piano artistry. That’s Rhonda, an artist! This album can be the instrument to mend a broken heart, or to straighten out your life, through the sincere testimony in the songs of The Revelaires. A must!

CorruptionInColumbia October 16, 2013 at 4:17 pm

Is that anything like a fucktard?

:-D

James October 15, 2013 at 10:41 am

If the population in 2000 show 69% white and 31% black, and the numbers of woman beaten were 39 and the black were 22. That means 55% of white women were beaten and about 75% were black-difference of 20% between the races.. Don’t you think that drugs and alcohol have a great deal to do with the beatings. Some women unfortunaty depend on their men to supply them with alcohol and booze. SC need to have better educational system and more organizations to make those people aware of help they can get and pass laws to protect the victims and their families. Education is the best tool-wake up SC

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Statistics October 15, 2013 at 11:07 am

The math is that 56.4% of those women murdered are black(based on her figures) while the population in 2000 reflects that 31% of the total population of SC is black.

That means that the odds of being killed by a male on a racial basis is approximately almost double for a black female versus a white female.

I’m not sure of her intent in posting the racial breakdown, but in simplistic terms if you just read the numbers it appears like the problem is both a white and black problem.

When you dig deeper though, it’s clear it’s much more of a black problem.

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James October 15, 2013 at 11:19 am

It doesn’t matter if the victims are either black or white—the victims are WOMEN and that’s everybody’s problem!

? October 15, 2013 at 11:28 am

That’s what’s so strange about her posting figures with a race breakdown.

Edward October 15, 2013 at 2:06 pm

Exactly!!

? October 15, 2013 at 11:25 am

Actually, your statistics seem to be wrong.

By my math (two ratios, divided by each other) it appears by the number above that a black women is about 16% more likely to be killed by (I assume) a black male.

Maybe I’m wrong…anyone care to confirm?

Frank Pytel October 15, 2013 at 12:36 pm

Cell phones and math. XP.

Statistics October 15, 2013 at 11:07 am

The math is that 56.4% of those women murdered are black(based on her figures) while the population in 2000 reflects that 31% of the total population of SC is black.

That means that the odds of being killed by a male on a racial basis is approximately almost double for a black female versus a white female.

I’m not sure of her intent in posting the racial breakdown, but in simplistic terms if you just read the numbers it appears like the problem is both a white and black problem.

When you dig deeper though, it’s clear it’s much more of a black problem.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein October 15, 2013 at 9:48 am

….rehashing Will Folk’s CDV case,
crime,
race,
guns,
a hot legislator (Is Ms. McLeod, perhaps a lawyer, as well?)….

*Pops popcorn*

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Boyd Brown October 15, 2013 at 10:06 am

Thank you Mia, for giving a voice and lending your leadership to this very important issue.

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EJB October 15, 2013 at 10:16 am

Woke up around one o’clock one morning, many years ago in Florida, to the God awfullest screaming I had ever heard. Looked out the second floor window of my bedroom to see a man beating the heck out of his girlfriend in their front yard and yelled out “I have called the cops, they will be here shortly”. Went down stairs and opened the front door, her boyfriend had left, and let her in. My wife helped clean her up while we waited for the police to arrive. Cop took her statement and asked if she wanted to press charges, she said she would think about it and do it the next day. Never did.

A few months ago, here in Lexington county, a friend of my wife, had been beaten several times by her boyfriend and she refused to call the cops despite my wife encouraging her to do it. My wife told her to at least kick him out or move out herself, she wouldn’t do it. The last time she was very nearly killed and only luck saved her, she finally filed charges.

Just stone cold facts and any cop will verify that too many times the women won’t press charges or testify. It’s a physiological thing that is kind of hard for a fat, bald headed old man to understand but I believe the solution is in being able to understand that dynamic and getting those affected women to act. Violence begets violence and if those men are not taken to task they will pass on those abhorrent traits to their offspring or others that view them as role models.

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shifty henry October 15, 2013 at 12:23 pm

—– and Shifty has similar stories

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sweepin October 15, 2013 at 4:24 pm

One of my most vivid childhood (I was 4 or 5) memories is that of my late father and mother sheltering a neighbor (Tommie Jean) who’s drunken husband (Cornell) had beaten the hell out her. The husband attempted to gain entry to our house a couple of times after she was sheltered. My father, a very humble and mild-mannered man told him one more time and he’d shoot him. I think he would have, too. Shortly after, the local deputy sheriff showed up and took him in.

3 Years ago, just outside Greensboro, in a McDonald’s restaurant, I saw a lady who was obviously distraught and who was bruised and battered sitting in a booth with what appeared to be her grandchild. I immediately knew what had happened. Thanks to my Dad’s example 58 years earlier, I approached her and confirmed my hunch. She would not accept my assistance, but I flagged a cop down in the drive-thru line who then assisted her.

Thanks, Dad and Mom, for your example. This vile meaness is not only loathesome, but a plague on civil society. Unfortunately, SC has more than its share of this evil.

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SCVIC October 15, 2013 at 11:02 am

Really, Statistics can be made to be read however you would like them to be read and slant a story in what ever direction. The CDV law was developed through a group that allows any and all statistics to fit into the defintion of the law. Do you know that any physical touching by a spouse (or array of others defined in the law) is considered battery and is a violation. Any of you married or in a relationship (all women), who of you have ever slapped your man. BATTERY! The only real problem i have here in SC is that the law is only towards women. It is taught in our criminal justice programs and by women stating that the victims of CDV are women (or implied through the use of statistics). The problem of ignorance is that CDV is on both sides and should be taught this way, even though it is probable that women numbers are higher than men. There is not one side better than the other. A woman can take a life of a man as esay as a man can take the life of a woman. Both sides lose. Even if it is 5 men died verses 20 women, people lost their lives. There isn’t a easy answer to CDV and there are a lot of variables that exist to solve the problem. We need to educate the ignorant Police officers going to the scenes and keep the man hater victim advocates out of the mix. Use common sense to determine the difference between an argument and incident that needs follow-up. The law is so wide to encompass everyone in the definition of any type of relationships. Here is a news flash, People in relationships will get into arguments at some point in the relationship. Because of themust arrest clause in the law forces dumbass cops to make dumbass decisions. In reference to statistics, it is usally a person that knows a person when a murder occurs. Very few times you will find a person murdered by a stranger. So, if there is any relation or past relations with the victim and suspect it is not classified CDV it is a known suspect to the victim and that statistic is transferred into a CDV Statistic. For years and currently CDV statistics aren’t tracted, they are simply inferred through statistics of assault by known offenders.
SC needs to attack the CDV isse through a training designed to address victims blindly and seek the cause and cure link. Either it be a man or woman as a victim. Neither should be accepted. And for the love of God, you really need to stop women and lawyers from using CDV is divorce cases when it is obvious that it is false and it is being used as leverage

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Fix me a sandwich October 15, 2013 at 11:06 am

I think we can solve the problem by improving the sandwich making skills of women in South Carolina. Just sayin…

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Frank Pytel October 15, 2013 at 11:09 am

I believe it’s spelled samich

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Frank Pytel October 15, 2013 at 11:09 am

I believe it’s spelled samich

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idcydm October 15, 2013 at 11:17 am

Only if you’ve been around awhile.

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EJB October 15, 2013 at 12:08 pm

Thought there was two m’s

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Frank Pytel October 15, 2013 at 12:27 pm

That would be sammich’s. Plural. As in more than three.

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Fix me a sandwich October 15, 2013 at 11:06 am

I think we can solve the problem by improving the sandwich making skills of women in South Carolina. Just sayin…

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MyDaddyIsRich October 15, 2013 at 12:03 pm

Where is the NRA with the simple solution? Arm all women and children!

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theblooms October 15, 2013 at 3:51 pm

>who obviously *choose* to stay in abusive relationships.
Well, they do! My wife and I donate to Sister Care every year. If a woman doesn’t want to be beaten on, she doesn’t have to be. She either leaves or she prosecutes. It’s really just that easy.

who obviously choose to stay in abusive relationships.
Read more at https://www.fitsnews.com/2013/10/15/mia-mcleod-state-of-denial/#QCeUF3rvKmbmG49o.99
who obviously choose to stay in abusive relationships.
Read more at https://www.fitsnews.com/2013/10/15/mia-mcleod-state-of-denial/#QCeUF3rvKmbmG49o.99
who obviously choose to stay in abusive relationships.
Read more at https://www.fitsnews.com/2013/10/15/mia-mcleod-state-of-denial/#QCeUF3rvKmbmG49o.99

Reply

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