SC

Tips For Nikki Haley?

S.C. Gov. Nikki Haley is getting some free campaign advice in a forthcoming newspaper column from a University of South Carolina student. Jordan Cooper – a senior history major at USC – says Haley “must become more sensible and less detached.” “Many tea party elements are based on unfounded claims and…

S.C. Gov. Nikki Haley is getting some free campaign advice in a forthcoming newspaper column from a University of South Carolina student. Jordan Cooper – a senior history major at USC – says Haley “must become more sensible and less detached.”

“Many tea party elements are based on unfounded claims and faulty evidence,” Cooper observes in a column to be published later this week in The (Columbia, S.C.) Star. “She must base her message on empirical data, and common sense solutions. Not sensationalism through media and emotions fit for soap opera.”

Cooper – who has worked in the past for Andre Bauer and Rick Perry – thinks the key to Haley’s victory will be making “stronger connections to citizens.” In fact he’s got several ideas for Haley on that front …

1.  Using social media like oovoo to meet with constituents weekly, student leaders during the semester, and even tech savvy legislators during the year.  Showing voters her cost efficiency and concern about the issues. And eventually being able to allow the executive branch to work from home one day a week using this software saving taxpayer money.

2.  Conduct a weekly radio program for about ten to fifteen minutes that allows voters to call in around the state.  Voters would then be able to receive free gas cards, grocery donations, and landscaping services for calling in to her program from her campaign.  Additionally, it would show reception for insights from citizens and form a strong rapport with the public.

3.  Implement a Governor’s Reading Program for K-8 students, environmentally friendly business plan competition for high school seniors, and wellness initiatives for senior citizens. Incentivizing 12th graders with a small scholarship, k-8 students with coupons from local businesses, and senior citizens with cruises sponsored by travel agencies for participation.

Hmmmmm …

We hate to rain on Cooper’s parade, but the S.C. State Ethics Commission is likely to frown on Haley’s campaign dispensing “free gas cards, grocery donations and landscaping services” to voters. Or maybe not … after all, Haley has committed numerous, much more severe ethics violations in the past (and gotten off scot-free).

Oh … and last time we checked her ethics committee was vacant. So who is going to hold her accountable?

As for step three, spending more tax dollars on government-run education initiatives is a demonstrably terrible idea – although based on Haley’s prior support for taxpayer-subsidized early childhood education (a.k.a. U.S. President Barack Obama’s signature education agenda item), who knows? She might go for that …

Pic: Travis Bell Photography

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18 comments

Nölff August 5, 2013 at 2:59 pm

Here’s a tip for Haley: file down those big azz teeth.

Reply
shifty henry August 5, 2013 at 3:07 pm

Tip #2 — buy a different color DRESS !!

Reply
Frank Pytel August 5, 2013 at 3:09 pm

Come on shifty. Don’t make me make you make me do your job for me, me? you!! Yeah, your job for you.

Reply
shifty henry August 5, 2013 at 3:27 pm

Frank, got you list above. Anyway, I had to hurry because I received a call that Sydney Leathers has made a porn video, and I needed to see the news article.

NSFW—-

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2384917/Anthony-Weiners-sexting-partner-Sydney-Leathers-starring-porn-video.html

Reply
Frank Pytel August 5, 2013 at 3:33 pm

I’ll save that one for da haus :)

Hugh August 6, 2013 at 4:57 pm

Work on your upper torso. Eat whatever Sarah Palin eats.

Reply
Nölff August 5, 2013 at 2:59 pm

Here’s a tip for Haley: file down those big azz teeth.

Reply
shifty henry August 5, 2013 at 3:07 pm

Tip #2 — buy a different color DRESS !!

Reply
Frank Pytel August 5, 2013 at 3:09 pm

Come on shifty. Don’t make me make you make me do your job for me, me? you!! Yeah, your job for you.

Reply
shifty henry August 5, 2013 at 3:27 pm

Frank, got you list above. Anyway, I had to hurry because I received a call that Sydney Leathers has made a porn video, and I needed to see the news article.

NSFW—-

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2384917/Anthony-Weiners-sexting-partner-Sydney-Leathers-starring-porn-video.html

Reply
Frank Pytel August 5, 2013 at 3:33 pm

I’ll save that one for da haus :)

Hugh August 6, 2013 at 4:57 pm

Work on your upper torso. Eat whatever Sarah Palin eats.

Reply
Frank Pytel August 5, 2013 at 3:08 pm

Someone will probably beat me to this. Lets see who picks up on the most.

1. Gas Cards, etc. I believe that’s called buying votes?

2. I’m pretty sure your not allowed to have a media personality

3. Senior citizen cruises. Vote buying.

4. Wellness initiatives. Obonehead care.

5. Social Media. She lost everything with the fracking DOR hack. God knows what she would give out on oovoo (WTH is a oovoo?)

6. 12th graders with scholarships. I think that’s called the fracking LOTTO.

7. Work from home. When the hell is she ever at the office? Travels nearly as much as Moochelle.

8. Reception for insights from citizenry. BBBBwwwwahahahahahahahahahha.

9. Work from home deux. See # 5 above.

Too funny. Gotta Blast!! :)

Reply
Frank Pytel August 5, 2013 at 3:08 pm

Someone will probably beat me to this. Lets see who picks up on the most.

1. Gas Cards, etc. I believe that’s called buying votes?

2. I’m pretty sure your not allowed to have a media personality

3. Senior citizen cruises. Vote buying.

4. Wellness initiatives. Obonehead care.

5. Social Media. She lost everything with the fracking DOR hack. God knows what she would give out on oovoo (WTH is a oovoo?)

6. 12th graders with scholarships. I think that’s called the fracking LOTTO.

7. Work from home. When the hell is she ever at the office? Travels nearly as much as Moochelle.

8. Reception for insights from citizenry. BBBBwwwwahahahahahahahahahha.

9. Work from home deux. See # 5 above.

Too funny. Gotta Blast!! :)

Reply
lindsey g August 5, 2013 at 3:32 pm

Here’s a tip. Come clean about all your lies, enter a mental illness treatment program for pathological liars, and apologize to the citizens of this great state.

Reply
lindsey g August 5, 2013 at 3:32 pm

Here’s a tip. Come clean about all your lies, enter a mental illness treatment program for pathological liars, and apologize to the citizens of this great state.

Reply
ThreePalms August 5, 2013 at 4:19 pm

The “Key” to Haley’s victory will be simple. Run as a Republican. Republicans in SC will vote for any republican regardless of character. Sending Sandford to congress is just the most recent evidence. Also, it migh be a good idea to NOT take advice from the Bauer campaign or the Perry campaign.

Reply
ThreePalms August 5, 2013 at 4:19 pm

The “Key” to Haley’s victory will be simple. Run as a Republican. Republicans in SC will vote for any republican regardless of character. Sending Sandford to congress is just the most recent evidence. Also, it migh be a good idea to NOT take advice from the Bauer campaign or the Perry campaign.

Reply

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