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Just a heads up that this website will be going offline from Sunday July 14 through Sunday July 21 … What’s happening? Well … our founding editor Will Folks is traveling to the Dirty Myrtle (a.k.a. Myrtle Beach, S.C.) to defend his status as the greatest bodysurfer on the planet….

Just a heads up that this website will be going offline from Sunday July 14 through Sunday July 21 …

What’s happening? Well … our founding editor Will Folks is traveling to the Dirty Myrtle (a.k.a. Myrtle Beach, S.C.) to defend his status as the greatest bodysurfer on the planet.

In years past this used to be little more than a blogger taking a week off – the internet equivalent of a tree falling in the woods – but as FITS has grown in size and stature (that’s what she said) it’s become an actual “thing.” As in there are elected officials, campaign organizations and government agencies which decide to break or hold news on the basis of Sic Willie’s vacation plans.

Are we really that important?

Duh … yes.

Anyway while FITS won’t be publishing next week, that doesn’t mean you should stop keeping us in the loop on what’s going on. If you think there’s something we absolutely must cover when upon Sic’s return, then by all means send it to him via email (which he’ll be checking sporadically). Also feel free to use our Tip Wire to send information anonymously.

We’ll be keeping tabs on those submissions …

Sic will also be randomly updating his Twitter and Facebook pages while he’s gone … so be sure to sign up for his tweets or “friend” him if you haven’t done so already.

***

 

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69 comments

Frank Pytel July 9, 2013 at 10:55 am

CRAP. Have a nice vacation !! :O :) :-k

Reply
Frank Pytel July 9, 2013 at 10:55 am

CRAP. Have a nice vacation !! :O :) :-k

Reply
CorruptionInColumbia July 9, 2013 at 11:00 am

SHIT! This is seriously going to suck ass!!!!! I will go into news and information withdrawal for a week or more! What about the highly capable staff at Fits News? Are they all vacationing with you Willie? Can’t they hold the fort down in your absence?

If you must go, I hope you are successful in all endeavors there. Also, be careful in the water. Don’t wind up as another statistic and watch out for the freakin’ sharks and jellyfish. They seem to be everywhere, anymore.

Reply
Finius Nullis July 9, 2013 at 11:36 am

Perhaps Will is going to be featured in a cameo on Myrtle Beach Manor?
What would be really funny is if all of the stories still “hanging in the air” break loose. If so, I would hope that Will’s cadre of interns are on 24 hour alert.

Reply
Boz Martin July 10, 2013 at 9:46 am

I doubt he will be on Myrtle Manor, but you can bet he will show up on whatever that crap show is that aging big-shot GOP coke-head “T-Rav” and that little Dennis fame-whore are on.

Reply
9" July 9, 2013 at 9:19 pm

This might be a good time for you to learn how to properly suck ass;-)

BT is is all up in it,right NOW! He may be dumb,but he’s an ANIMAL,in bed..

Reply
CorruptionInColumbia July 9, 2013 at 9:58 pm

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! The closest I ever came to that was when I performed anilingus on chicks who were smoking hot, due to a slip of the tongue while performing cunnilingus.

NOW, for the REAL story!!!! Have you been plowing GT’s “back forty”?
This might make for an extended discussion on here if you want to share the story. This might keep the board busy until Sic Willie gets back from vacation. Enquiring minds want to know, sort of.

Tell us about GT.

Reply
9" July 9, 2013 at 10:26 pm

Oh God,it is sick and disgusting.Right now,I have him cuffed 1/4th an inch above the floor,and hanging(no-resin rope,so he can ‘stand’ on his own,for maybe 15 seconds,but then he’s back to dangling.After and hour of this,he will be ‘sounding’,with some heavy duty electrical equipment(internet-only devices).
The sad thing is,when he cries like a little girl,it further arouses my lust,instead of my sympathy.

The eventual plowing will be long and furious(second,today-half the fun is getting there),and available on DVD…

Reply
CorruptionInColumbia July 10, 2013 at 11:56 am

For differing reasons, I suspect a lot of people on here will be handing over money for that DVD, 9″. Can you talk to Will about cutting a quantity discount deal for regulars on here?

9" July 11, 2013 at 1:12 am

Half-price, if you mention the blog.It’s in post-production.An old friend who works for ,Disney is doing all the work,gratis.HD,surround sound,etc.

Will MIGHT talk to me,if I trade some rare ,REM recordings,but you,CIC ,will get the first copy.Even if you’re not into man on man action,the scenes of humiliation and degradation will interest anyone who’s fascinated by the extremes of human behavior…

Although this was a life-changing experience for BT,it was just another date at the hot sheet motel for me(I hope he’s OK)…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTT-Jmi1nOc

CorruptionInColumbia July 9, 2013 at 11:00 am

SHIT! This is seriously going to suck ass!!!!! I will go into news and information withdrawal for a week or more! What about the highly capable staff at Fits News? Are they all vacationing with you Willie? Can’t they hold the fort down in your absence?

If you must go, I hope you are successful in all endeavors there. Also, be careful in the water. Don’t wind up as another statistic and watch out for the freakin’ sharks and jellyfish. They seem to be everywhere, anymore.

Reply
Finius Nullis July 9, 2013 at 11:36 am

Perhaps Will is going to be featured in a cameo on Myrtle Beach Manor?
What would be really funny is if all of the stories still “hanging in the air” break loose. If so, I would hope that Will’s cadre of interns are on 24 hour alert.

Reply
Boz Martin July 10, 2013 at 9:46 am

I doubt he will be on Myrtle Manor, but you can bet he will show up on whatever that crap show is that aging big-shot GOP coke-head “T-Rav” and that little Dennis fame-whore are on.

Reply
9" July 9, 2013 at 9:19 pm

This might be a good time for you to learn how to properly suck ass;-)

BT is is all up in it,right NOW! He may be dumb,but he’s an ANIMAL,in bed..

Reply
CorruptionInColumbia July 9, 2013 at 9:58 pm

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! The closest I ever came to that was when I performed anilingus on chicks who were smoking hot, due to a slip of the tongue while performing cunnilingus.

NOW, for the REAL story!!!! Have you been plowing GT’s “back forty”?
This might make for an extended discussion on here if you want to share the story. This might keep the board busy until Sic Willie gets back from vacation. Enquiring minds want to know, sort of.

Tell us about GT.

Reply
9" July 9, 2013 at 10:26 pm

Oh God,it is sick and disgusting.Right now,I have him cuffed 1/4th an inch above the floor,and hanging(no-resin rope,so he can ‘stand’ on his own,for maybe 15 seconds,but then he’s back to dangling.After and hour of this,he will be ‘sounding’,with some heavy duty electrical equipment(internet-only devices).
The sad thing is,when he cries like a little girl,it further arouses my lust,instead of my sympathy.

The eventual plowing will be long and furious(second,today-half the fun is getting there),and available on DVD…

Reply
CorruptionInColumbia July 10, 2013 at 11:56 am

For differing reasons, I suspect a lot of people on here will be handing over money for that DVD, 9″. Can you talk to Will about cutting a quantity discount deal for regulars on here?

9" July 11, 2013 at 1:12 am

Half-price, if you mention the blog.It’s in post-production.An old friend who works for ,Disney is doing all the work,gratis.HD,surround sound,etc.

Will MIGHT talk to me,if I trade some rare ,REM recordings,but you,CIC ,will get the first copy.Even if you’re not into man on man action,the scenes of humiliation and degradation will interest anyone who’s fascinated by the extremes of human behavior…

Although this was a life-changing experience for BT,it was just another date at the hot sheet motel for me(I hope he’s OK)…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTT-Jmi1nOc

B. Flit July 9, 2013 at 11:13 am

So seriously is Offshore Drilling Company still open in Myrtle Beach?

Reply
B. Flit July 9, 2013 at 11:13 am

So seriously is Offshore Drilling Company still open in Myrtle Beach?

Reply
Finius Nullis July 9, 2013 at 11:28 am

Have a GREAT time with your household family, while your Fitsnews family suffers (go to your rooms commentators!) Actually, I would truly like for Lazenby to give us some daily reports/opinions.

Reply
Finius Nullis July 9, 2013 at 11:28 am

Have a GREAT time with your household family, while your Fitsnews family suffers (go to your rooms commentators!) Actually, I would truly like for Lazenby to give us some daily reports/opinions.

Reply
EJB July 9, 2013 at 12:25 pm

Enjoy.

Reply
EJB July 9, 2013 at 12:25 pm

Enjoy.

Reply
Bullgerbil July 9, 2013 at 12:50 pm

Have fun and STOP THIS THIRD PERSON CRAP. “Our founding editor”….geez. For the love of all that is good…STOP IT. Gawwwwwwd. Have a good vacation.

Reply
Smirks July 9, 2013 at 3:40 pm

Only Bob Dole is allowed to do that.

Reply
Boz Martin July 10, 2013 at 9:44 am

And Bill O’Reilly when he is “Talking Points” or some other silly segment of his bullshit show. It’s an archaic jornalistic convention. Also gives the illusion of him having a huge staff. That “huge staff” thing is what attracts 9″ to the site, of course.

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein July 9, 2013 at 7:03 pm

TBG concurs.

Reply
Bullgerbil July 9, 2013 at 12:50 pm

Have fun and STOP THIS THIRD PERSON CRAP. “Our founding editor”….geez. For the love of all that is good…STOP IT. Gawwwwwwd. Have a good vacation.

Reply
Smirks July 9, 2013 at 3:40 pm

Only Bob Dole is allowed to do that.

Reply
Boz Martin July 10, 2013 at 9:44 am

And Bill O’Reilly when he is “Talking Points” or some other silly segment of his bullshit show. It’s an archaic jornalistic convention. Also gives the illusion of him having a huge staff. That “huge staff” thing is what attracts 9″ to the site, of course.

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein July 9, 2013 at 7:03 pm

TBG concurs.

Reply
CNSYD July 9, 2013 at 1:36 pm

Hopefully there will be time to put the finishing touches on his book on his affair with Haley.

Reply
CNSYD July 9, 2013 at 1:36 pm

Hopefully there will be time to put the finishing touches on his book on his affair with Haley.

Reply
Philip Branton July 9, 2013 at 1:42 pm

Meanwhile …..over on the Tom Davis pontoon…….

Tom: Sure would be nice for Wil to provide all his faithful slackers free bongs….

Girl one: Tom, that’s not very nice….you know we still have a war on drugs….

Girl two: I guess I will need to slurp on some more spf 50…..

Girl three: Ya know Tom, what I don’t get is how comforting this news is for Fitsnews advertisers…..

T-Rav: Would someone grab my pole and hold it while I pop a fresh one….

Grand Tango: Tom, have you ever considered motoring this party barge on up to Myrtle Beach along the Intra-coastal…?? Wil is going to really need some intense reflection time…!

Smirks: Yeah Tom, ……one fish, two fish, three fish…..four fish FITS…!!!!!

Reply
Keef July 10, 2013 at 6:58 am

Philip Branton:I’m funny…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEwnS2M0xBc

Reply
Philip Branton July 10, 2013 at 10:27 am

“Laugh, I Nearly Died”

I’ve been travelling but does Keef know where
I’ve been missing you and I know you care
And I’ve been wandering, I’ve seen Greece and Rome
Found in a wilderness, so far from home
Yeah, yeah

I’ve been to Africa, discovered our NSA soul
And I feel like an actor and I know my role
I’ve been in Arabia, I’ve seen BIG OIL stars
Been sipping champagne on the boulevards – yes

I’m so faithful and tried
Trying to turn the tide, yeah
So I’ll say my fist pounds
Laugh, laugh
I nearly Lied

I’ve been down to India, but it froze my bitcoins
I’m living for Fits, and I’m not alone
I’ve been travelling, but does Fits know where
I’ve been wandering, but I know Boz really cares

I hate to be denied
How you helped my pride
I feel pulled inside
But laugh, laugh, laugh
I nearly Lied

Been travelling far and wide
Wondering who’s going to be America’s guide

Living in a Fits news fantasy it’s not very far
But this kind of TEAM is way too hard
I’ve been wandering, feeling a comment tone
I know my direction and I may lose my home…Well

I’m so faithful and tried
Now I’m on the comment side
Feeling so despised
When you laugh, laugh
I almost Lied

(Been travelling far and wide
Wondering who’s going to be America’s guide)

I hurt my pride, hurt my pride, hurt my pride (Been travelling far and wide)
Been travelling, yeah

(Been travelling far and wide
Wondering who’s going to be America’s guide)

(Been travelling far and wide)

Reply
Boz Martin July 10, 2013 at 9:48 am

That one really IS kinda funny. At least it doesn’t have that annoying “Fist Poundzzzz” shit in it.

Reply
Philip Branton July 9, 2013 at 1:42 pm

Meanwhile …..over on the Tom Davis pontoon…….

Tom: Sure would be nice for Wil to provide all his faithful slackers free bongs….

Girl one: Tom, that’s not very nice….you know we still have a war on drugs….

Girl two: I guess I will need to slurp on some more spf 50…..

Girl three: Ya know Tom, what I don’t get is how comforting this news is for Fitsnews advertisers…..

T-Rav: Would someone grab my pole and hold it while I pop a fresh one….

Grand Tango: Tom, have you ever considered motoring this party barge on up to Myrtle Beach along the Intra-coastal…?? Wil is going to really need some intense reflection time…!

Smirks: Yeah Tom, ……one fish, two fish, three fish…..four fish FITS…!!!!!

Reply
Keef July 10, 2013 at 6:58 am

Philip Branton:I’m funny…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEwnS2M0xBc

Reply
Philip Branton July 10, 2013 at 10:27 am

“Laugh, I Nearly Died”

I’ve been travelling but does Keef know where
I’ve been missing you and I know you care
And I’ve been wandering, I’ve seen Greece and Rome
Found in a wilderness, so far from home
Yeah, yeah

I’ve been to Africa, discovered our NSA soul
And I feel like an actor and I know my role
I’ve been in Arabia, I’ve seen BIG OIL stars
Been sipping champagne on the boulevards – yes

I’m so faithful and tried
Trying to turn the tide, yeah
So I’ll say my fist pounds
Laugh, laugh
I nearly Lied

I’ve been down to India, but it froze my bitcoins
I’m living for Fits, and I’m not alone
I’ve been travelling, but does Fits know where
I’ve been wandering, but I know Boz really cares

I hate to be denied
How you helped my pride
I feel pulled inside
But laugh, laugh, laugh
I nearly Lied

Been travelling far and wide
Wondering who’s going to be America’s guide

Living in a Fits news fantasy it’s not very far
But this kind of TEAM is way too hard
I’ve been wandering, feeling a comment tone
I know my direction and I may lose my home…Well

I’m so faithful and tried
Now I’m on the comment side
Feeling so despised
When you laugh, laugh
I almost Lied

(Been travelling far and wide
Wondering who’s going to be America’s guide)

I hurt my pride, hurt my pride, hurt my pride (Been travelling far and wide)
Been travelling, yeah

(Been travelling far and wide
Wondering who’s going to be America’s guide)

(Been travelling far and wide)

Reply
Boz Martin July 10, 2013 at 9:48 am

That one really IS kinda funny. At least it doesn’t have that annoying “Fist Poundzzzz” shit in it.

Reply
Smirks July 9, 2013 at 3:39 pm

Willie’s got a time share at Myrtle Manor, that’s what it is… lol

Have a good vacation, man.

Reply
Smirks July 9, 2013 at 3:39 pm

Willie’s got a time share at Myrtle Manor, that’s what it is… lol

Have a good vacation, man.

Reply
AnnieWho July 9, 2013 at 3:46 pm

So we have to get all our local news from the MSM for a WHOLE WEEK? How could you do that to us? Seriously, have a good vacation.

Reply
AnnieWho July 9, 2013 at 3:46 pm

So we have to get all our local news from the MSM for a WHOLE WEEK? How could you do that to us? Seriously, have a good vacation.

Reply
Mark J July 9, 2013 at 4:53 pm

What about all these “folks” you have writing for you Will. Or is it as I have suspected all along you are constantly referring to yourself in the third person…….just sayin…

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein July 10, 2013 at 5:00 pm

Apparently, Folks ain’t gotst no “folks”….

Reply
Mark J July 9, 2013 at 4:53 pm

What about all these “folks” you have writing for you Will. Or is it as I have suspected all along you are constantly referring to yourself in the third person…….just sayin…

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein July 10, 2013 at 5:00 pm

Apparently, Folks ain’t gotst no “folks”….

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein July 9, 2013 at 7:02 pm

C’mon man, give BigT/GrandTango the keys for a week.

What’s the worst that could happen?

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein July 9, 2013 at 7:02 pm

C’mon man, give BigT/GrandTango the keys for a week.

What’s the worst that could happen?

Reply
FondaPeter July 9, 2013 at 10:57 pm

Since,I’m hijacking the Blog;my first post:Is This Man Sweet Or Twat?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=KPe5BNGpepI#at=116

Reply
FondaPeter July 9, 2013 at 10:57 pm

Since,I’m hijacking the Blog;my first post:Is This Man Sweet Or Twat?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=KPe5BNGpepI#at=116

Reply
9" July 9, 2013 at 11:20 pm

Useless music trivia;Brian Wilson went to the piano and wrote this song right after hearing of JFK’s assassination :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_TcWUslfvE

Reply
9" July 9, 2013 at 11:20 pm

Useless music trivia;Brian Wilson went to the piano and wrote this song right after hearing of JFK’s assassination :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_TcWUslfvE

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein July 10, 2013 at 7:57 am

If you get blown by Chantel….you gonna write a book about it?

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein July 10, 2013 at 7:57 am

If you get blown by Chantal….you gonna write a book about it?

Reply
Boz Martin July 10, 2013 at 9:20 am

Be advised that if Sic is pissed at you, as he currently is with me, he will not answer your email or respond to or publish your tip line tips, nor will he acknowledge or respond to you in any way respond to you in any way. This despite the polite notice when you submit a tip that he will get back with you. Hopefully he will fix this during the down time. I’m his real daddy, whether he will ever ‘fess up to it or not, and I know he will do right by the old man and trust that he will also cut me in on the dough when he finally puts out that tell-all book with all the details on that affair with you-know-who.

Reply
Boz Martin July 10, 2013 at 9:22 am

Also note that Karen Martin, no relation (I think) now carries his nuts around in her purse. He gave them up for Nancy, though, so ya gotta admire that. I know I do. I love me some Nancy too.

Reply
9" July 11, 2013 at 12:51 am

But,you’re so much better looking than him,although that does happen…

Reply
Boz Martin July 10, 2013 at 9:20 am

Be advised that if Sic is pissed at you, as he currently is with me, he will not answer your email or respond to or publish your tip line tips, nor will he acknowledge or respond to you in any way. This despite the polite notice when you submit a tip that he will get back with you. Hopefully he will fix this during the down time. I’m his real daddy, whether he will ever ‘fess up to it or not, and I know he will do right by the old man and trust that he will also cut me in on the dough when he finally puts out that tell-all book with all the details on that affair with you-know-who.

Reply
Boz Martin July 10, 2013 at 9:22 am

Also note that Karen Martin, no relation (I think) now carries his nuts around in her purse. He gave them up for Nancy, though, so ya gotta admire that. I know I do. I love me some Nancy too.

Reply
9" July 11, 2013 at 12:51 am

But,you’re so much better looking than him,although that does happen…

Reply
trikki trikki July 10, 2013 at 9:31 am

interesting that you choose mercury in retrograde to take the week off. no one will remeber or be effectively misinformed during thebackward motion anyway. as far as the nikki haley child abuse vctim thing goes: another brillaint move. the same way she used the affair scandals to vault her from dead last fourth place to easy win before her first election, now she is setting up her defense in the next guv election. because theor is so much dirt to throw at her- of her own making, hubris, and corruption- she has staked out the position and persona of child abuse victim. any attacks against her now are the attacks of a child abuser. she claimed something to the effect of all of sudden she showed up with bruises and issues? and then the trailer park neighbors (?)-is this how the story goes?- after being confronted RUNNOFT (tahnk you ethan coen) and are never seen from or heard of again disappearing into thin air. she or her parents cant remeber which trailer it was and there are no records to determine their identity? they cant even remember the names of the people they left their daughter with? did they scurry off to aiken under the protection of the irish travelers? and i guess now, nikki haley. who’s not vindictive at all, just wants to forgive and forget, and benefit the greater good, more than herself by altruistically sharing her experience and wisdom with no motive or gain. sounds like her.

Reply
trikki trikki July 10, 2013 at 9:31 am

interesting that you choose mercury in retrograde to take the week off. no one will remeber or be effectively misinformed during thebackward motion anyway. as far as the nikki haley child abuse vctim thing goes: another brillaint move. the same way she used the affair scandals to vault her from dead last fourth place to easy win before her first election, now she is setting up her defense in the next guv election. because theor is so much dirt to throw at her- of her own making, hubris, and corruption- she has staked out the position and persona of child abuse victim. any attacks against her now are the attacks of a child abuser. she claimed something to the effect of all of sudden she showed up with bruises and issues? and then the trailer park neighbors (?)-is this how the story goes?- after being confronted RUNNOFT (tahnk you ethan coen) and are never seen from or heard of again disappearing into thin air. she or her parents cant remeber which trailer it was and there are no records to determine their identity? they cant even remember the names of the people they left their daughter with? did they scurry off to aiken under the protection of the irish travelers? and i guess now, nikki haley. who’s not vindictive at all, just wants to forgive and forget, and benefit the greater good, more than herself by altruistically sharing her experience and wisdom with no motive or gain. sounds like her.

Reply
Its About Time July 10, 2013 at 2:49 pm

You need a billboard at malfunction junction to draw more readers to the site.

Reply
Its About Time July 10, 2013 at 2:49 pm

You need a billboard at malfunction junction to draw more readers to the site.

Reply
GrandTango July 10, 2013 at 6:00 pm

Don’t sweat it FITS: Not much diff. between you and The State, MSNBC or Free Times. Except they are more polished, w/ more corporate liberals, and gov’t workers commenting than the type of liberal that follows FITS….

I like the lack of formality here, and this seems a little more local…which is good for you, because it means I prop you up w/ quality copy…w/o charging you…

Reply

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