SC

Ted Vick Was “Under The Influence Of A Pebble”

S.C. Rep. Ted Vick (D-Chesterfield) is being defended by fellow lawmaker Todd Rutherford (D-Columbia) as he stares down his latest driving under the influence arrest – news of which was broken exclusively by FITS. Rutherford, longtime FITS readers will recall, is the lawyer-legislator who famously claimed that another of his…

S.C. Rep. Ted Vick (D-Chesterfield) is being defended by fellow lawmaker Todd Rutherford (D-Columbia) as he stares down his latest driving under the influence arrest – news of which was broken exclusively by FITS.

Rutherford, longtime FITS readers will recall, is the lawyer-legislator who famously claimed that another of his legislative clients – former S.C. Rep. Thad Viers – was “under the influence of love” when he was arrested for threatening his ex-wife’s boyfriend in 2007.

“Under the influence of love?” Damn … Johnny Cockroach couldn’t have done better than that.

So … what creative legal defense has this shyster conjured up for Vick?

You won’t believe it …

According to Rutherford, Vick was not under the influence of alcohol late Tuesday evening when a S.C. Bureau of Protective Services (SCBPS) officer arrested after the fifth-term lawmaker after he pulled into the S.C. State House parking garage.

Okay then … so why was Vick staggering as the offer pursued him on foot from his vehicle?

According to Rutherford, Vick … (and please, try not to spit all over your screen when you read this) … had a “pebble in his shoe.”

That’s right … a “pebble in his shoe.”

(Snort).

Never mind that Vick reeked of alcohol – and admitted to the officer that he had been drinking. And never mind this is the same guy who was busted for DUI less than a year ago (a charge that’s still pending).

Obviously Vick is innocent until proven guilty, but if the best excuse Rutherford can come up with is that his client had a “pebble in his shoe” then seriously … he  should have kept his mouth shut. Of course as anyone who knows Rutherford can attest, he’s incapable of keeping his mouth shut.

And thus we have what will live forever in South Carolina political lore as the “pebble in the shoe defense.”

In fact the line is already generating buzz on Twitter.

“Long day,” one of our followers tweeted. “Time to ‘put a pebble in my shoe.'”

Ha!

And then take a nice hike on the Appalachian Trail … 

***

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64 comments

south mauldin May 15, 2013 at 9:25 pm

Never blow in the breathalyzer, and take your chances with a plea to a lesser charge. And call Matt Bodman to help you navigate the legal system. Trust me.

Reply
south mauldin May 15, 2013 at 9:25 pm

Never blow in the breathalyzer, and take your chances with a plea to a lesser charge. And call Matt Bodman to help you navigate the legal system. Trust me.

Reply
? May 15, 2013 at 9:42 pm

How do attorneys make defense’s without cracking a smile at times?

“Yes, your honor-we are pleading not guilty, but way of the pebble in my clients shoe defense.”

“What?”

“Well your honor, technically speaking my client was stopped by the officer before committing any offense. Ergo, my client is not guilty regardless of your skepticism of our pebble claim. Good job officer, keep up the good work. Now your honor, I believe Judge Toal has requested a summary of our proceedings from me this afternoon, so are you ready to rule?”

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katlaurenscounty May 16, 2013 at 8:26 am

Allegorically, center on target, hilariously accurate!!!!

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? May 15, 2013 at 9:42 pm

How do attorneys make defense’s without cracking a smile at times?

“Yes, your honor-we are pleading not guilty, but way of the pebble in my clients shoe defense.”

“What?”

“Well your honor, technically speaking my client was stopped by the officer before committing any offense. Ergo, my client is not guilty regardless of your skepticism of our pebble claim. Good job officer, keep up the good work. Now your honor, I believe Judge Toal has requested a summary of our proceedings from me this afternoon, so are you ready to rule?”

Reply
katlaurenscounty May 16, 2013 at 8:26 am

Allegorically, center on target, hilariously accurate!!!!

Reply
? May 15, 2013 at 9:56 pm

Sorry for the multiple posts, but I couldn’t also help thinking about the absurdity of the pebble argument in the context of the “banana in the tailpipe” gag:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HktV2yGtLv8

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? May 15, 2013 at 9:56 pm

Sorry for the multiple posts, but I couldn’t also help thinking about the absurdity of the pebble argument in the context of the “banana in the tailpipe” gag:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HktV2yGtLv8

Reply
Dan on Devine May 15, 2013 at 10:14 pm

“I didn’t realize I hit Margaret Cain’s car on Heyward Street and did 4 grand in damage because I was listening to a book on tape,” said Queen Jean. Why don’t you start a poll for which politician has told the biggest DUI lie in recent history?

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Dan on Devine May 15, 2013 at 10:14 pm

“I didn’t realize I hit Margaret Cain’s car on Heyward Street and did 4 grand in damage because I was listening to a book on tape,” said Queen Jean. Why don’t you start a poll for which politician has told the biggest DUI lie in recent history?

Reply
Sarge May 15, 2013 at 10:16 pm

Todd Rutherford is owned by Jean Toal as has been posted on this site several times. This one smells already.

Reply
Sarge May 15, 2013 at 10:16 pm

Todd Rutherford is owned by Jean Toal as has been posted on this site several times. This one smells already.

Reply
Squishy123 May 15, 2013 at 10:17 pm

Most sober people stop and take the pebble out of their shoe if it’s causing them to limp or stagger.

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Darth May 16, 2013 at 9:48 am

We are talking about a Democrat legislator…

Reply
Squishy123 May 15, 2013 at 10:17 pm

Most sober people stop and take the pebble out of their shoe if it’s causing them to limp or stagger.

Reply
Darth May 16, 2013 at 9:48 am

We are talking about a Democrat legislator…

Reply
William May 15, 2013 at 10:21 pm

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Reply
William May 15, 2013 at 10:21 pm

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Reply
Val Venis May 15, 2013 at 10:46 pm

Todd Rutherford is the Jimmy Hart of SC attorneys.

Reply
Val Venis May 15, 2013 at 10:46 pm

Todd Rutherford is the Jimmy Hart of SC attorneys.

Reply
No Logo May 15, 2013 at 11:02 pm

Addictions to iPhones, painkillers, cupcakes, cosmetics, fast food, alcohol and sex are taking over our lives.

The new “rock” obsession is described in “The Fix” by Damien Thompson, published last month.

Shunning the concept of addiction as disease, he shows how people are using the most mundane substances like iPads, muffins, computer games, small gizmos (toys, really) — even rocks — that we learn to like too much and supplement traditional addictions to alcohol, drugs and gambling.

It describes how “mumbo-jumbo” is conquering the world, and people, including juries, will believe practically anything.

This rock-in-the-shoe defense was lifted right from page 57 of Thompson’s book.

What complete, total, laughable bullshit.

Reply
travis bickle May 15, 2013 at 11:41 pm

But what does that mean if I’m addicted to Fitsnews?

Reply
travis bickle May 16, 2013 at 6:48 am

It could also be that I just can’t help myself!

Reply
No Logo May 15, 2013 at 11:02 pm

Addictions to iPhones, painkillers, cupcakes, cosmetics, fast food, alcohol and sex are taking over our lives.

The new “rock” obsession is described in “The Fix” by Damien Thompson, published last month.

Shunning the concept of addiction as disease, he shows how people are using the most mundane substances like iPads, muffins, computer games, small gizmos (toys, really) — even rocks — that we learn to like too much and supplement traditional addictions to alcohol, drugs and gambling.

It describes how “mumbo-jumbo” is conquering the world, and people, including juries, will believe practically anything.

This rock-in-the-shoe defense was lifted right from page 57 of Thompson’s book.

What complete, total, laughable bullshit.

Reply
travis bickle May 15, 2013 at 11:41 pm

But what does that mean if I’m addicted to Fitsnews?

Reply
travis bickle May 16, 2013 at 6:48 am

It could also be that I just can’t help myself!

Reply
Pebbles Flintstone May 15, 2013 at 11:13 pm

Is that really a pebble – or one of his balls?

Reply
Maurice May 15, 2013 at 11:36 pm

He’s the one with the pecker as big as an apple, right? Bessenger man? Arrested several times?

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lithium May 16, 2013 at 9:50 am

I thought that the vernacular for crack was a rock…

Reply
Pebbles Flintstone May 15, 2013 at 11:13 pm

Is that really a pebble – or one of his balls?

Reply
Maurice May 15, 2013 at 11:36 pm

He’s the one with the pecker as big as an apple, right? Bessenger man? Arrested several times?

Reply
lithium May 16, 2013 at 9:50 am

I thought that the vernacular for crack was a rock…

Reply
Jeffy01 May 15, 2013 at 11:36 pm

I suspect the Policy council will have a press conference tomorrow on this one.

Reply
Jeffy01 May 15, 2013 at 11:36 pm

I suspect the Policy council will have a press conference tomorrow on this one.

Reply
9" May 15, 2013 at 11:41 pm

Every time I see,’Ted Vick’,I think of,Thad Viers,and have to recomputate (W).Show his huge bulge again,or even better,a REAL fucking dick pic! Wassup,Thad?

Reply
thad May 16, 2013 at 9:59 am

Hey there 9″, right now I am chilling out at a beach in Cancun. Incognito, of course.

Reply
9" May 16, 2013 at 5:01 pm

I love you!

Reply
9" May 15, 2013 at 11:41 pm

Every time I see,’Ted Vick’,I think of,Thad Viers,and have to recomputate (W).Show his huge bulge again,or even better,a REAL fucking dick pic! Wassup,Thad?

Reply
thad May 16, 2013 at 9:59 am

Hey there 9″, right now I am chilling out at a beach in Cancun. Incognito, of course.

Reply
9" May 16, 2013 at 5:01 pm

I love you!

Reply
Smirks May 16, 2013 at 6:30 am

Is his lawyer drunk too?

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Smirks May 16, 2013 at 6:30 am

Is his lawyer drunk too?

Reply
Sandy Burglar May 16, 2013 at 6:38 am

Guess he had a few drinks “on the rocks,” huh?

Reply
Sandy Burglar May 16, 2013 at 6:38 am

Guess he had a few drinks “on the rocks,” huh?

Reply
katlaurenscounty May 16, 2013 at 8:19 am

Yay FITS!!! ROFL!!!! HahahaahahaaaAHHHHHHH!!!!!! Finally another episode from one of our very own South Carolina reality shows (sitcoms?). It’s like watching two years olds talking to each other with baby gibberish. Whatever comes out of their mouths isn’t comprehensible by grown ups, but the babies look at each other like the gobbledygook means something. Cracks me up!!! (No, not the crack some of them are likely selling or smoking. Save that for another episode). Hilarious!!

Reply
katlaurenscounty May 16, 2013 at 8:19 am

Yay FITS!!! ROFL!!!! HahahaahahaaaAHHHHHHH!!!!!! Finally another episode from one of our very own South Carolina reality shows (sitcoms?). It’s like watching two years olds talking to each other with baby gibberish. Whatever comes out of their mouths isn’t comprehensible by grown ups, but the babies look at each other like the gobbledygook means something. Cracks me up!!! (No, not the crack some of them are likely selling or smoking. Save that for another episode). Hilarious!!

Reply
major major May 16, 2013 at 8:50 am

As long as he was under the two pebble limit.

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major major May 16, 2013 at 8:50 am

As long as he was under the two pebble limit.

Reply
Marie Harrison May 16, 2013 at 9:41 am

“This is my wreck and this is my check” mentality.

Reply
Marie Harrison May 16, 2013 at 9:41 am

“This is my wreck and this is my check” mentality.

Reply
Sam May 16, 2013 at 9:45 am

If you’re talking about a guy that hangs with low lifes like J. Brooks, what do you expect?

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Sam May 16, 2013 at 9:45 am

If you’re talking about a guy that hangs with low lifes like J. Brooks, what do you expect?

Reply
You know me May 16, 2013 at 9:46 am

I hope for Willow and Laurel’s sake, he gets help. Really soon.

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You know me May 16, 2013 at 9:46 am

I hope for Willow and Laurel’s sake, he gets help. Really soon.

Reply
Jay Ellington May 16, 2013 at 10:05 am

Teflon Ted can run and hide behind a weak defense, but his wife is soooooo going to kill him when he gets home this weekend.

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Jay Ellington May 16, 2013 at 10:05 am

Teflon Ted can run and hide behind a weak defense, but his wife is soooooo going to kill him when he gets home this weekend.

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Baba Nand Singh Ji May 16, 2013 at 10:06 am

On the night of her husband’s “military” departure, Nikki did not fall down the stairs because of alcohol. It was a pebble. A pebble in a hooker boot will get you every time.

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Baba Nand Singh Ji May 16, 2013 at 10:06 am

On the night of her husband’s “military” departure, Nikki did not fall down the stairs because of alcohol. It was a pebble. A pebble in a hooker boot will get you every time.

Reply
High On Love May 16, 2013 at 11:39 am

He keeps his home in his shoe?

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High On Love May 16, 2013 at 11:39 am

He keeps his home in his shoe?

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Same ol' Same ol' May 16, 2013 at 3:46 pm

Why yes, I do believe it is time for a pebble.

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Same ol' Same ol' May 16, 2013 at 3:46 pm

Why yes, I do believe it is time for a pebble.

Reply
Hardworing pubic servant May 16, 2013 at 7:48 pm

Why is it they have no problem making the laws, but then feel absolutely no obligation to obey them. I guess that is the entitled crowd. Makes me sick.

Reply
Hardworing pubic servant May 16, 2013 at 7:48 pm

Why is it they have no problem making the laws, but then feel absolutely no obligation to obey them. I guess that is the entitled crowd. Makes me sick.

Reply

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