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When I was a kid, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, “call of duty” meant getting some friends, finding sticks to use as rifles, and “playing army.” Man, I was there—my stick was an M-16, that dirt clod was a real grenade, and when I got shot I did a twisting pain-filled fall that would make Tom Cruise jealous.
We were outside in the fresh air, getting exercise, burning off energy, and developing our imaginations.
However… let’s be real. If we could’ve been inside playing the video game Call of Duty, and seen real action in front of us, and watched our rounds impact into the enemy, and our grenades blow up enemy squads, all the while coordinating attacks with our best buddies… well, that’s where I’d have been.
It’s hard to go back to “I got you!” “No you didn’t!” “Yes, I did!” “No you didn’t!” after you’ve had a practically-real experience as a sniper or a door gunner on a Huey flying into a hot LZ.
It is what it is.
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I’m glad I grew up when I did, because I have such fond memories of those endless sessions of valor and pain, with no quarter given, and no truce to be declared—unless the ice cream truck drove by. But I get the video game thing. I’ve never played video games, but do I get it.
Children spending hours playing video games ain’t healthy, but children on social media is a national emergency—we’re literally destroying the nation’s future. We’re exposing our youngest and most impressionable to the kind of hate and criticism children aren’t equipped to handle.
As everyone who was a child knows, children can be cruel… but in my salad days, that cruelty was face to face. If someone made fun of you, there might be a few other kids around, but the audience was limited. Yes, rumors hurt… but they were always prefaced with, “I heard.”
Now remember being in high school as a freshman—there’s maybe a 30% chance you were cool or good-looking, but most kids that age are still pretty awkward. Like all kids, you wanted to be included in the cool-kids’ groups, or the jocks, or the prettiest girls. You knew you weren’t one of them, but if you kept your distance, you never had to hear them talk about you.
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Today? Imagine yourself as a freshman, and every day after classes the entire high school gathers in the basketball arena, and you’re standing at center court. Students who do not or barely know you are encouraged to stand and make fun of you. If they wanted to anonymous, they could wear a mask.
Where did you get that shirt??? Wal-Mart?
You actually drove the 20-year-old Honda in public? I’d rather walk!
You do realize there’s such a thing as a dermatologist, right? Maybe go see one!
FYI, we have a weight room if you want to do something about those noodle-arms!
Do you have a seatbelt extender in your car???
I heard you slept with the whole football team!
Who wouldn’t be depressed and anxious if this was the case… and yet this is their life, because it happens on social media around the clock, at the time in life when they care the most about what other people think. Consider the ball of anxiety in these kids’ guts, knowing the same thing is going to happen the next day after classes. And that night when they’re trying to study, and all weekend.
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Children are literally committing suicide over this. Kids who were well-adjusted happy children, until they began participating in social media—and discovered, “half the world hates me. I suck.” Think of that. When you were that age perhaps there were kids you didn’t like who were mean to you, but it didn’t result in a conclusion that all the world is a hate-filled cesspool… a place not worth living in.
But, they’re just kids, right? They grow out of it… it’s a phase. By the time they get to college they’ll be beyond all that, right?
Not always. Permanent damage has been done to some of them.
Really? College-aged kids?
Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt has written a book titled The Anxious Generation, and in it shows the following trends among college-aged men and women. Since 2010, these are the statistics:
- Anxiety—Up 134%
- Depression—Up 106%
- ADHD—Up 72%
- Anorexia—Up 100%
- Schizophrenia—Up 67%
Gen Z has taken the hardest beating, because phones, videos, dopamine hits, 20-second videos, and “influencers” have been a part of their lives as long as they can remember. Who in the name of all that’s holy is influenced by an “influencer?” How can one’s self-confidence be so low, that they’ll spend time watching instructional videos about how to be cool and popular. A lot of these yo-yos flaunt their wealth, and vacations, and cars —and, of course, heavily filtered and photoshopped beauty pics.
Yeah, that’s mentally healthy— spending your time watching someone boasting about everything you’re never going to have. No way that would make you feel like a failure in life, or bad about yourself because you’ll never measure up.
And yet this is what they do, because they are addicted to it.
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Millennials were hardly spared: Their anxiety levels are up 103% since 2010. Hilariously, Gen X anxiety levels have dropped by 8% since 2010, I assume because none of us have ever cared about or been offended by anything.
I believe far too many of the Gen Z kids are a wreck because of the one-two punch they were given: They were raised being given participation trophies, and being told they were perfect… then plugged into social media, which then told them ‘round the clock, “Buuullcrap! I’m hotter than you. I’m more popular than you. I take better vacations than you. I have a better car than you. My parents show they love me by giving me stuff. I have a cooler group of friends. I’m happy and you’re not. My life is perfect. How’s yours?”
The “perfect life” postings are, of course, a lie… but kids believe them. They’re kids. Kids are dumb.
I live on the peninsula of Charleston, so I’m exposed to College of Charleston students on a frequent basis. A friend of mine is a student counselor, and I asked him if all College of Charleston students these days come from rich families… I mean, they have pedi-mani salons practically on campus.
“No,” he said. “Some are, but the rest are working three jobs so they can make it look like they do.”
How tragic.
And it’s only going to be worse when they graduate—their rich friends will go on to remain rich, but that kid working three jobs in college will get an entry-level job in their field—for crap pay, and one-week vacation a year. Think that kid might start feeling depressed and hopeless when he continues to look at the rich kids’ social media?
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Good parents have their children grounded in solid morals and values by the time they’re in first grade, largely by setting a good example. But can that hard work be undone by a constant stream of messages pouring into a kid’s phone? Peer pressure is as powerful as the tide.
The prevailing attitude these days is, “Well, it’s a necessary evil.” I often hear, “I made my kid wait to be 13 before they got a phone, and that was hell.”
Is anything that might destroy your child’s mental health truly a necessary evil?
I think there is a solution, based on every kid’s primary desire: To be cool.
Is it possible to make your kids think it’s cool to shun social media? To convince them it’s rebellious to have a digital footprint of zero? That deciding to remain a mystery to those outside their inner circle is the ultimate cool?
I have no clue.
Please remember, however, new parents do have an invaluable resource: There are tens of millions of Millennials and Gen Z kids who made through this social media minefield perfectly fine—so ask them! Ask what their parents did… what they did… what their circle of friends did.
Ask them, “Why were so many of your peers damn near destroyed by phones and social media, while you came out fine?”
I would imagine you’ll find wisdom and solutions in their words.
I don’t think any of us can envision how much life will change in the next 20 years, but new parents are facing unimaginable challenges—and unless radical thinking and creative solutions don’t come along soon, the next generation could have things even worse than Gen Z.
Assuming, of course, that’s even possible.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR …
Prioleau Alexander is a freelance writer, focusing mostly on politics and non-fiction humor. He is the author of four books: ‘You Want Fries With That?,’ ‘Dispatches Along the Way,’ ‘Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?‘ and ‘They Don’t Call It The Submission Process For Nothing.’
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