Politics

Mind The Gap: A Forgettable Journey Through Joe Biden’s Memory Loss

“At this point, Joe is like a child — excited to get ice cream, and helicopter rides, and maintain a schedule designed around his naps, moods, and time to make doo doo.”

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We cannot run from it, as it matches our stride. We can’t fight it, as we too are caught in the web. Time and reality team up to ensure life is – as the song says – an hourglass, glued to the table.

Clearly, time and reality caught up with president Joe Biden last week. To use a metaphor, Biden donned a symbolic NYPD police officer’s uniform, and time and reality showed up in the form of six illegal aliens with clubs in their hands. 

All symbolism aside (but reality remaining in the discussion), special counsel Robert Hur — appointed to investigate Biden’s illegal handling of classified documents — decided not to pursue charges against the sitting president.

“Hurray!” declared the Democrats.

“Why?” asked the Republicans.

Reality … enter stage right:

The ugly truth is that the decision not to press charges came after the special counsel concluded that the president of the Untied States was a “well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory” and had “diminished faculties in advancing age.”

“It would be difficult to convince a jury that they should convict him — by then a former president well into his 80s — of a serious felony that requires a mental state of willfulness.”

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(Click to View)

U.S. president Joe Biden aboard Marine One in January 2024. (White House)

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It continues, and gets worse: “He did not remember when he was vice president, forgetting on the first day of the interview when his term ended (‘if it was 2013 — when did I stop being vice president?’), and forgetting on the second day of the interview when his term began (‘in 2009, am I still vice president?’),” the report said. “He did not remember, even within several years, when his son Beau died.”

After the release of the report, the administration went into DEFCON 1 with the on-call witch doctor presumably rushed in to inject Biden with some variation of an adderall/ meth cocktail – at which they pushed him out the door for a press conference … to clarify his mental acuity.

Biden’s delivery was sharper than a diamond cutter, addressing such critical issues the division between the Red and Green states, and importance of taking steps regarding Roe v War.

The really cool part was when he inadvertently spilled the beans on a new technology – demanding Mexico open its gates to allow humanitarian aid into Gaza.

Do you realize what this means?

That’s right — Star Trek teleportation has been perfected! Word on the street is that Al Gore invented it.

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“Joe Biden isn’t even consulted on things of serious importance…”

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Using BidenTrans™ the humanitarian aid will simply drive through a Mexican gate, and into Gaza. Sure, there may be a few language and cultural barriers, but those won’t last long. In short order I can see the Palestinians pounding tequila and munching on ham tacos – while khat-chewing Mexicans will be beheading Muslims who invite them to Man-love Thursday.

Reality check: Biden’s dementia isn’t really that big of a deal. Joe Biden isn’t in charge of anything more important than his bedtime. The hilarious thing is that the vapid trolls — who wet their beds while commenting on my articles — are so ensconced in “Pretend World,” they believe he’s still actively involved in serving as president.

The truth — which would give liberals comfort if they weren’t so stupid — is that Barack Obama is the de facto president, and has the usual suspects as his staff of “experts” to offer advice. Joe Biden isn’t even consulted on things of serious importance — Jill hides from him the pointlessness of his existence, because she wants four more years in the White House … elder abuse be damned. 

At this point, Joe is like a child — excited to get ice cream, and helicopter rides, and maintain a schedule designed around his naps, moods, and time to make doo doo. 

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The DNC is in a panic because Joe is getting worse, not better. He is not mentally fit to debate Donald Trump, thus his choices are a) step on the stage and make a global fool of himself, or, b) Simply refuse.

If even the lowest information voters hear Biden won’t debate Trump, it will cripple him. But, truth be known, he might be so crippled now you can’t cripple him anymore, lest you amputate.

If I had to guess, I bet we’ll see one of the biggest ad buys in history, with Trump’s voice reading the words of the Hur report. How would Joe respond?

“Izzz just politics azz u… u…usu… oh, you know the thing!”

It’s endlessly amusing to me that those living in Pretend World are so cemented into the leftist lock-step, that they can’t even bring themselves to say the words, “Joe is unfit to manage an ice cream shop.” The worst criticism I’ve heard is “He’s not at his best, but … Orange Man Bad! Orange Man Bad! Orange Man Bad!”

The idea of stating the obvious is liberal kryptonite. They can’t do so without being issued their talking points by Whoopie and Rachel Maddow

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“In reality, 98 percent of the entire freaking nation has refused the new booster.”

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Let’s do an experiment: Let’s get one of the libtards, who will be boo-hooing in the comments below, to fill in this blank, and admit their ability to be wrong: 

I got the first two government ordered vaccines, but I haven’t gotten the third booster being pushed by the government because ___________. 

In reality, 98 percent of the entire freaking nation has refused the new booster. Literally, 98 percent. No celebrities are cheerleading the poison. No CNN shills shrieking, “The unvaxxed are killing people!” Not even the president saying, “Uhh… we invented this. It’s good. You should allow some nurse’s assistant to inject it into your body.”

Nothing. In fact, hundreds of thousands — if not millions — of people are being re-hired by companies who fired them for refusing the vax.

It’s okay to be wrong sometimes. Here, let me lead by example: I was wrong to support the invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan. I was wrong as a young man to think the Military/Industrial complex wasn’t an existential threat to America, and Congress supports perpetual war. Most recently, I was wrong thinking Big Pharma wouldn’t literally murder people to make more money. I was naive, and mislead.

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Let’s give the trolls the chance to do the same: Copy and paste in the comments: 

It was stupid of me to get vaxxed. I was naïve, and misled. I realize now peer-reviewed studies are showing none of the vaccines even prevented the spread of Covid, or prevented the vaxxed person from getting Covid again. When I got the jab, I was told it would save lives, which the government eventually changed to, “It would lessen symptoms.” 

I could go on, but changing your mind after critically thinking through an issue is a grown-up thing … actually analyzing facts, looking at evidence and believing what’s happening in front of your face. 

I’m curious how many libs will be willing to say, “Joe is suffering from dementia, and is unfit to make the decisions he was elected to make. Despite this, I like the policy decisions being made by those actually in charge behind the scenes… and I plan to vote for those policies, even if it means Biden having to slur his way through meetings with hostile world-leaders.”

Once again, let me offer a layup to help you: I acknowledge Trump is a complete dick. He is a narcissist, and uses playground-level insults to anyone who even disagrees with him. I am horrified by some of the crap that he says. However, I like his policies on the border, trade deals, lower taxes, and America coming first. America was economically better when he was in charge, and unemployment among minorities was the lowest in history. He made the forgotten man feel noticed. We were involved in no new wars. So, despite his total-jerk personality, I plan to vote for his policies. 

An easy way to end this oped would be to say libs to write, “In his current mental state, would you trust Joe Biden with the retirement money you’ve saved?”

But the answer, of course, is… yes! If I could buy shares in Joe/Hunter Enterprises™, I’d dump every cent into it, and margin that as far as they’d extend me credit. Their returns on investment make Warren Buffett look like a day-trader snorting meth and working out of mom’s basement.

Indeed, Joe is good at one thing, but running the free world ain’t it.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR …

Prioleau Alexander is a freelance writer, focusing mostly on politics and non-fiction humor. He is the author of four books: ‘You Want Fries With That?,’ ‘Dispatches Along the Way,’ ‘Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?‘ and ‘They Don’t Call It The Submission Process For Nothing.’ 

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5 comments

davismcclam Top fan February 14, 2024 at 6:32 pm

Right on!

Reply
Amanda Williams Top fan February 15, 2024 at 12:44 am

Completely right. Except I like Trump fighting back. I would be mad as hell if I were him too.

Reply
Lack of Self Awareness February 15, 2024 at 8:33 am

This article brought to you by the guys who thought Reagan was very competent and all there.

I mean all Biden would have to do is say person, woman, man, camera, TV and he instantly becomes a very stable genius, right?

Reply
RC February 15, 2024 at 9:29 am

“unemployment among minorities was the lowest in history”

…and then set an even lower record under Biden

Reply
X marks the spot February 18, 2024 at 4:14 pm

Like the kids say these days “LOL…OK Boomer”.

Reply

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