NO … SERIOUSLY …
|| By FITSNEWS || S.C. Rep. Todd Atwater – a Lexington County, S.C. “Republican” – is the primary sponsor of a bill that would make it illegal to give one’s pet a tattoo. Or a piercing.
Much to the presumed chagrin of Mr. Bigglesworth (above) – and for that matter “mini” Mr. Bigglesworth – Atwater’s legislation would expressly prohibit “the piercing or tattooing of a companion animal except for when conducted by veterinarians for purposes of providing a means of identification or supplying a medical benefit.”
Wait … what’s a companion animal?
“Any animal that is kept inside a residential dwelling and any dog or cat regardless of where it is kept,” according to the proposed statute.
Individuals found to be in violation of the new law – which doesn’t apply to livestock, fowl or wild animals – would be guilty of a misdemeanor and could face thirty days in jail (and a $1,000 fine).
Oh and not only is the bill – H. 3917 – for real, it’s one of the few pieces of legislation which appears on track to pass the S.C. General Assembly this year. The S.C. House passed the legislation by an 89-1 vote earlier this week and sent it to the State Senate – where it has been referred to a subcommittee.
Isn’t it nice to know our leaders are focused on the serious business of governing?
What kind of idiot tattoo’s their pet? Now with microchipping, ear tattoo’s are not needed.
Now can we pass legislation that parents can’t pierce their 2 week old kid’s ears? This screams redneck everytime I see it.
Hold on there – it’s a common practice with Latin folks. Now make that kid a fat blonde haired diva moron like Honey Doo Doo and I see your point.
Latins also breed like puppy mills spitting out welfare check bonuses every 9 months and 10 minutes. Black mothers pierce their baby boy’s ears too… gotta get them started early in the thug scene. Overall it’s just something ignorant parents do.
Odd. They seem to be doing a good bit of the construction work in this neck of the woods. Why? It’s the free market and THEY WORK, unlike the local boys
“THEY WORK CHEAP”
Fixed it for you.
Oh Squishy, you’re so squishy…..Hey Squishy!
Toni Basil is that you?
Nope! But thanks.
I’m guessing that question went way over your head.
LOL – hey that was my song for you squishy! :)
“it’s guys like you that don’t understand…..”
“Don’t say no….” ha!
I’m jus wondering what the limits of plagiarism are. You took a song, someone else wrote, but used it to plagiarize my thought and then plagiarized the song. I think there should be a law against that? Hmmm…maybe there is? :)
FOR THE RECORD, AND TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
Comments, jokes and humor posted on Fitsnews by me are strictly my personal opinions, and/or my intellectual creations, or were developed, initiated, and/or plagiarized by me. The characters and events
depicted in my comments may or may not be fictitious, and any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Rights to share and/or isseminate are hereby granted to one and all for the purposes
of entertainment, scoring points, and/or getting laid.
His Signature: Shifty Henry
Notary for South Carolina (Lexington County): Ludwig Wittgenstein [ 05/01/ 2015]
<——- laughing so hard it hurts!!!!! Great one!
p.s. Henry if you get Annabella to consent, I could likely renew that and I could marry you – somewhere ;)
I appreciate the offer. I had to invent a screen name for her that sounded Texan, so I call her Adorabella here. As a former notary I married only five couples who are still married, but I have avoided the chains so far.
Dang, guess I am back to 50% accuracy?
All joking aside, I do hope she makes you happy and she is the one you’ve been looking for. Ms. Adorabella and Mr. Shifty, bound to make an interesting couple – just don’t forget us folks on FITS. I promise to be good.
Look forward to hearing about wedding plans some day.
Advice received from Euwe Max (Amarillo & Dallas)
Better watch out! Texas gals can tie your hand and feet together with a single leather strap before you can say “how-dee-doo”
Ole and Lena met on the boat as they proceeded to a new life in America and soon fell in love. After clearing customs they went to City Hall to get a marriage
license. Since neither one of them spoke much English one of the secretaries helped them fill out the required forms.
The lady asked Lena “What’s your nationality?” Lena said “I yust come over from da old country and don’t unnerstand nationality. Vat’s dat?” The lady said “Well you are tall and blond and definitely have a Scandinavian accent. Don’t you have a little Swede in you?”
Lena blushed and said ” “Yah dat damned Ole, he yust couldn’t vait.”
Ole and Lena had been married seven years. Lena was getting worried that Ole might be getting the seven year itch. She thought he was cheating on her. Lena says to Ole “You never tell me you love me. Is there someone else?”
Ole replies “When we got married I told you I loved you. If I ever change my mind I’ll let you know.”
Ole was on his deathbed and implored his wife Lena,
“When I’m gone, I want you to marry Sven Svenson”.
“Why Sven Svenson?” his wife asked. “You’ve hated him all of your life!” “Still do,” gasped Ole.
What did I plagiarize? I think you should contact a trial lawyer and see if he’ll take your case and request a jury trial.
I’m thinking I just might do that, but hard to find trial lawyers who specialize in plagiarizing plagiarism :)
I’m more of your chili powder ;)
… and the pigs and cows? … It might be quite handy to have GPS ear tags on certain poli-wogs, too.
Who the hell elected that dipshit. Come on, step forward and be counted.
Don’t Tango live in Lexington County?
GT’s mindless roaming among and through the pine trees, creek banks, and sandy back roads wouldn’t exactly be thought of as “living”
<——laughing so hard it hurts. I'm not sure he has a life outside FITS! No wonder he thinks he should be PAID!
After my near-death experience earlier today I wasn’t planning on checking in, but I’m glad I did — it’s turned out to be a good day for all!
What happened? Assuming you don’t mind sharing.
If you do, don’t comment, I understand. I get on this site and feel like I know certain people, contrary to alias – I do admit, I love your top hat!
Joking aside, I am glad you are ok. If you want to share – would love to hear.
Earlier today on I-26 my horn got stuck when I was behind some Hells Angels….
Damn! Hope you had a gun? LOL
Driving around to kill time and enjoy the outside world,
I was just cruising up I-26 when I came up behind about ten Hell’s Angels. Being a former biker I gave them some room in case there was an accident, such as a bike flipping or a passing car hitting one of them. I could hear those bikes roaring which brought back memories. Just as we got to the Peak exit some asshole in the left lane cut across in front of me and zoomed onto the exit lane. Reacting without thinking, I screamed “ASSHOLE” out the window while leaning on the horn. That’s when the horn got stuck. Behind the pack of Hell’s Angels. I waved to them to say, “Fellas, it’s just the horn it’s not me!” They were looking around at each other and
juking their bikes, and I knew this was going to be a bad day for Henry. Lots of traffic passing me but I was praying for one or two to get between me and those guys — not a damn one! Eventually all the traffic had passed and the Hell’s Angels maneuvered to block both lanes and began to slow down. This was it. The showdown. Dark clouds overhead. And then I saw that I was saved – the Chapin exit was just ahead. They cruised past it – I gunned up it!
I drove over headed to Chapin to make them think I got back onto the highway, and when I didn’t hear them cross the median to turn around and come back I went back over 26 all the way to Broad River Road. Heart rate and blood pressure now normal.
Ohmigosh that is hilarious!!!!!! It sounds true, but mosts hells angels woulda beat the crap outta you, in gangs of course.
True story. I was in high school, had transitioned to another school. They hated me, they all hate on pretty young girls (thank gawd I am late 40’s now), but as the truth goes, I had infringed on someone’s property, who was actually my boyfriend of 2 years? Anyhoo, I wasn’t a big girl, but a strong one. They line up on the sidewalk, shoulder to shoulder. I didn’t have a damn friend one, had just been admitted.
I suppose it was time to prove myself? Well, I took a long look down the walk and stepped off. I walked to the center and made my stand. Anyone who wanted to walk off, as a freshman, I would challenge. It went on. Then I upped the ante, any group who wants to step off. I was a little shy believe it or not, but willing to face my fears. An ass whooping that just might kill me.
Not a damn person stepped off and none ever messed with me after that. Cowards they were!
WOW..!! You sound more like a gal who would have a 120 lb Rottweiler rather than a 9 pound hairless poodle..
Let’s see where you now stand on the scales:
2]- great sense of humor
3]- dog lover
4]- can handle tools/hang sheet rock/repair carpets/paint
5]- excellent repartee
7]- can type and put sentences together with better than 50% accuracy and understanding
I’m tired now……..
LMAO – my dogs are labs, they would lick you to death. I’m the pack leader. Don’t forget to add my 4 beautiful labs and when I take time, my sentences are closer to 51% accuracy ;)
Whew! Glad we cleared up those discrepancies!
Henry, I believe you’ve just listed off things of almost every flannel lesbian I’ve ever met.
HuH..?? What is a flannel lesbian?
Two types of lesbians, lipstick and flannel.
One you want to see naked, the other not so much.
Most people would have just pulled over to the side of the road and pulled the horn wire or backed off. On Sons of Anarchy they would have just shot you.
Ten Hells Angels? Did they have a mandatory state meet today?
Weeeeel, I may have embellished the saga just a tad.
I can’t click like on this – I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. You can add this to you Syn Phyoll Oph Phun: Had a friend who dated a Hell’s Angel. Well, he was hell and she did eventually die…..of….
Here’s the answer to the pothole problem: Fill ’em with lawmakers.
which end up?
Yep, that was a brilliant quip that came in 1/10th of a second, and after I posted it was when I got the mental image of it!
Well good for Fido and Fifi!
Now how about protecting some Fetuses around here?
That would be a good use for them but they would be squishy when the 18 wheelers hit them. LOL
Who in the hell tattoos their animals or pierces them? Is there some sort of fad going on?
Seems like a waste energy. What’s next? A law that bans you from giving a dog a hand job?
Washing your dog at a self-serve car wash should be illegal.
Our lawmakers will read that and make a law for it. How about making a law making it illegal to punch a llama in the face?
I can go all day.
but, but, but, — what if the llama spits on you first?
The reason the fuckers do stupid shit like that, aside from the fact that 95% of them are megalomaniac’s, is that they can crow about “consensus”…they’ll cite some statistic down the road saying they accomplished passing some laws without ever having to tell anyone what BS they passed….hence less ammo for the sociopathic rivals looking to take the place of the current sociopaths.
“Can’t label me a “do nothing” or “unable to reach across the aisle” cause I passed this here bill.”
LOL – if they had trimmers, I might consider it, but in the meantime I put ’em in a pool or shower ;)
Forget about the trimmers and you could talk me into getting into a pool or a shower with you….
$20 it’s an above ground behind her double-wide.
Gee, do ya’ think she lives at Myrtle Manor?
You never know …. huh? That’s what makes it fun!
I was picturing more off a dirt road west of Redbank.
LMAO! Great one Squishy – I have a love/hate relationship with you, but I do love your sense of humor. I’m starting to get it. :)
I’m sweet – remember? Come into the pool, where it is nice and warm or the shower full of steam ;)
You can always trust people on the internet.
What? But he’s perfectly safe chained up in the back of the pickup and I would hate to waste those quarters.
Yeah, let’s restrict the rights of pet owners. Seriously? If I want to tatoo my hairless cat, or hairless dog, who says I can’t. Actually, I think a hailess dog or cat look good with some ink. Else they look like rats. This guy is reall foooked. Then again, I bet he feels the individual mandate is wrong, but not allowing gays to marry is OK, and oh yeah, yankees shouldn’t be allowed to join his country club.
If you’re a pet owner and think it’s a good idea to tattoo and pierce it, you shouldn’t be allowed to own a pet.
Are you a dirty inkie? Do you work for the carnival or wrecking yard?
I bet you have a stinky poodle sitting on your lap right now. Well, my dog is bigger than yours – I got a 100 lb lab slobbering on my face.
Tomorrow I might get him a big ole tattoo so everyone knows he is mine. Just in case you might steal Squishy. I really need to keep an eye on people like you and brand my dog “just in case” ;)
Two Golden Retriever shedding machines.
While you’re at it, see if they’ll tattoo “Dipshit” across your forehead… not that anyone will need to read that to realize it.
The same reason they don’t tattoo Smart Ass on your ;)
Well, I guess it’s better than Dumb Ass.
Only in Lexington! While I may not agree with Sen. Shealy on all causes, thank goodness we do have a voice of sense in that area.
To answer your question, oh it is so nice to know they are serious and have prioritized (sarcasm).
This is nothing more than a bunch of crap to distract from the real issues. You know, those things called taxes, ethics, education and so on and on.
Does this mean bitches won’t be able to get tramp stamps?
Did you mean to say Lady?
Capitalized Lady? Maybe.
oooow – do I sense you have something against capitalism? Hmmmm…interesting given how much you take up for Gov. Haley.
I respect ladies. not capitalized. I’ve had a dog called Lady… capitalized.
I’m fond of both
You are missing my joke – did you ever see Lady and the Tramp? I thought you set me up – dang!
In other news – any pet owned unclaimed will be put to death within a couple to three days and yet they are worried about tattoos? Do they really a care or is this a distraction? How many people have their animals “tattooed” unless they are branded for cattle or some other purpose? It isn’t like we tattoo our dogs.
Hell, your, No Chain, dog activists who think it is ok to take a dog, because THEY feel it is treated unfairly, yet have zero ability to care for the dog are putting more dogs to death every year than any tattoo might.
SC needs a law that would ban dumbass lawmakers from insulting own intelligence.
Now, I will have to have that tattoo of an eagle fighting a snake removed from my Labrador Retriever’s belly. It’s such a nice piece of art.
LOLOLOLOLOL – How much did that cost you? You might be able to sue to damages to your dog.
IT did not cost as much as the tattoo for my other dog, a fifteen year old pound mutt. It is a tattoo of a lizard escaping out of her anus hole.
cracked me up!
“SC needs a law that would ban dumbass lawmakers from insulting our intelligence.”
Who would be left in the General Assembly, or for that fact, in politics anywhere.
Good for Todd. Piercing and/or tattooing an animal for one’s own odd enjoyment ought to be illegal. It’s cruel and stupid. Passing this bill took essentially zero time or energy away from other issues.
The issues that take up the time and energy of SC legislators never cease to amaze me. Is this a problem? Have I just missed the news about the rampant plague of cat tattooing sweeping the state?
Todd Atwater. Isn’t he the dickhead who introduced legislation t require that a carolina-Clemson game be plaurd every year, a couple of years back? I guess his whole life is devoted to dumb thinking.
Is that old crazy woman who was running for Education Super last time his mom? If so, it would explain a lot.
A DICKHEAD for sure. Don’t think he’s related to that Education Super whackjob. He’s not even related to Lee Atwater although he will want you to believe that. Ask Lee’s widow. She hates his sorry ass.
What motivated Atwater to sponsor this bill? Did ALEC write it for him? Did vets write it for him?
Chip Campsen comes up with a bill to address any high profile news story.
Was there something in the news about pet tattoos and piercings that I missed?
This smells of Atwater’s sleazy Mungo buds.
Todd Atwater used to make some sense, back when he was first elected and he had a lot of local business and teacher support. Not anymore. . . now he’s just a preppy pandering politico who tries hard to say he is a friend of business but they all know he is just a self-serving phony who is “owned” by a few special interests over in Rednexington. The guy even goes so far as to gin up a “Friend of Small Business” award and then has it awarded to him in front of the Rednexington Chamber folks who were so shocked that he could be so vain, or they so gullible. Atwater is already highly conflicted given his role as head of the SC Medical Association. His kids go to private school, he goes to church in Columbia, works in Columbia, and is way out of touch with his constituents as evidenced by this this ridiculous legislation that must have been written for him by the crazy Mungos. Hell, his campaign “advisor” is some wacky Columbia lobbyist. Way to go Toddy. Wait and see. . . you’ll be voted out in 2016.