SCDOR Job: “Safeguard Asses”

JOB DESCRIPTION STUMBLES UPON THE TRUTH? S.C. Gov. Nikki Haley’s Department of Revenue (SCDOR) has been a source of major frustration for the first-term “chief executive.” She’s already had to fire the first guy she tapped to lead the agency after SCDOR’s monumental pooch screw in the #SCHacked scandal. Forgotten…


S.C. Gov. Nikki Haley’s Department of Revenue (SCDOR) has been a source of major frustration for the first-term “chief executive.” She’s already had to fire the first guy she tapped to lead the agency after SCDOR’s monumental pooch screw in the #SCHacked scandal.

Forgotten about that scandal? Here’s a refresher.

Anyway, like every agency in South Carolina’s ever-expanding state government, SCDOR is hiring these days … in fact it’s specifically looking for a “Senior Auditor” position that pays somewhere between $40,000 – $70,000 a year (not counting benefits).

According to SCDOR’s official job description, this senior auditor’s job is to “research and develops (sic) audit programs and testing to determine whether DOR’s mission, goals, and objectives are achieved.”

Hmmm-kay …

What does the “testing” function include?

“Testing includes verifying the validity, accuracy, and timeliness of performance measures used and reported by the area reviewed; the means to safeguard asses; inventories; and transactions captured during operations,” the description continues.

Wait … what?

Safeguard asses?

“Kim Haley did a great job proofing this one,” one of our sources joked, referring to the former SCDOR interim director appointed by Haley in the aftermath of the #SCHacked scandal.

Finally, an advertisement for a bureaucratic position that (inadvertently) tells the truth about what is expected of the applicant …

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Tomocchio June 13, 2014 at 9:03 am

Hahaha keep those asses safeguarded. Nikki has a nice ass so let’s keep that butt safe.

junior justice June 13, 2014 at 9:05 am

(1) the job description should be copied and framed
(2) send all job descriptions to Dept of Education for proofing?

Little Miss Muffett June 13, 2014 at 1:39 pm

Uh-Oh! Mr. GrandTango has just been told that his contract with the State has been approved by Governor Haley. He will be proofreading ALL job applications. This is so exciting for me! Now I’ll have extra money for beer at Clemson.

Smirks June 13, 2014 at 9:09 am

“safeguard assets”

It’s a funny typo at least.

TontoBubbaGoldstein June 13, 2014 at 10:00 am


Smirks June 13, 2014 at 12:18 pm

Well, at least they aren’t shipping their pants like the guys at K-Mart.

Nah June 13, 2014 at 10:15 am

“asses” is actually correct, it was the job title that was typo’d:

“Senior Adulterer”

The also left out one job duty:

“Must personally report to Guvna Haley”

Bob_The_Taxpayer June 13, 2014 at 6:34 pm

While the typo was both obvious and cute, was it really an “entire story” cute or maybe just a tweet?

Yelsewh June 13, 2014 at 8:18 pm

They won’t attract qualified applicants at that salary. That may be by design.

Thomas June 14, 2014 at 4:21 pm

The local real estate brokers can’t sell those new homes unless state employees make at least 100k…and a lot of them do make 100k a year just for that reason.

Yelsewh June 14, 2014 at 7:19 pm

What on God’s earth are you talking about? A wet behind the ears grad of the MAcc program at the Moore School (not a world beater by any means) can expect a starting salary of $55k. After 3+ years and passing the CPA exam $70k is par for the course. The clowns at the state want to pay $40k – $70k for a person with that kind of education and experience and they will likely only pay the mid point to start. They’re simply not going to get the best and brightest at that rate.

snickering June 13, 2014 at 10:20 pm

When referring to Anything Haley says or does be ready to RETRACT-NOW!!

Mike at the Beach June 14, 2014 at 12:52 am

Proofreading is a lost art; if spell check can’t catch it, it usually won’t get caught.

euwe max June 14, 2014 at 9:36 am

That’s what adderall is for!

TontoBubbaGoldstein June 14, 2014 at 8:49 am

TBG thinks tatas should be safeguarded, also.

euwe max June 14, 2014 at 9:35 am

TBG thinks tatas should be safeguarded, also.

…at the very least, preserved on film and latex for posterity.

Slartibartfast June 15, 2014 at 2:12 pm

Tatas are an integral part of the reintegrationary governmental lactation redistribution Federal mandate. Oh crap! I think another puppy just died!

James Baddison June 14, 2014 at 9:34 am

Kimberly Haley, she is dumb as a brick. No seriously, she really is. I know some current employees and her rise from a run of the mill auditor to pretty much a deputy director in 2 years has been puzzling. The salary rose with it…its a great day in South Carolina

Kakocracy June 14, 2014 at 2:21 pm

That is the prime directive of management in every state agency.

Limbaughsaphatkhunt June 16, 2014 at 12:45 am

I love how these tin foil hat brigade “Gov’t is the spawn of Satan” blogs always harp on and on about public sector “cushy” jobs. The public sector is no where near what the private sector pays in like for like positions and unless you want Somalia on your hands, we still need gov’t to run things. Even the blessed, almighty, infallible, better than JaDaveon Clowney founders knew that gov’t was necessary.

Yet, people (esp. in the South) continue to spit on and despise the public sector and cut pay, cut benefits, cut incentives, cut work/life balance and generally not invest such to the point that we’re amongst the worst of the worst states in America.

Then you get the “privatize everything” crowd. Well, I could give you a list a mile long of companies who have a worse record of wasting our money more than any government agency could dream of.


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