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Dopes For Bieber





We couldn’t name a Justin Bieber song …

(Well, other than”Love Me,” “Favorite Girl,” “U Smile,” “Runaway Love, “One Time,” “Boyfriend,” “Never Let You Go,” and “Baby.” And we prefer the prepubescent version of “Baby” in its original key of E flat major, because we’re purists).

We know he’s an international pop sensation (who’s coming to Columbia, S.C. this year) and we know he’s insanely popular among ladies who have yet to attain the age of consent. In fact Bieber is so adored that legions of his young female fans are mutilating themselves (and posting pics of their mutilations on Twitter) in response to reports surfacing this week about the 19-year-old smoking pot.

Not all of the mutilators – who are posting their pics with “#Cut4Justin” and “#Cut4Bieber” Twitter hash tags – are for real. In fact the graphic tweet that got these “cutters” going has been exposed as hoax.

Still, we have a simple solution for anyone who feels compelled to cut themselves over this – or anything.

Let them bleed out …

Seriously, we’ve got enough stupid people in the world. So if these dopes want to spill their own blood, just let them bleed out and we can all be done with it. Sorry if that sounds cruel, but we don’t suspect the world will miss a bunch of bleeding Beliebers.

Also, since when did tweens start hating on pot? And when did society start hating on a 19-year-old’s right to smoke it?


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