Sports

Michigan Helmet Has Left The Solar System

VINCENT SMITH’S LID IS HEADED FOR ANDROMEDA GALAXY National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced the latest coordinates for the helmet of Michigan running back Vincent Smith – which was forcibly dislodged from Smith’s head during the 2013 Outback Bowl by University of South Carolina defensive lineman Jadeveon Clowney. After bouncing…

VINCENT SMITH’S LID IS HEADED FOR ANDROMEDA GALAXY

National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced the latest coordinates for the helmet of Michigan running back Vincent Smith – which was forcibly dislodged from Smith’s head during the 2013 Outback Bowl by University of South Carolina defensive lineman Jadeveon Clowney.

After bouncing once off the turf at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, Smith’s helmet left the earth’s atmosphere and began its journey through our solar system.

Where is it?  According to NASA, Smith’s helmet is currently positioned near the dwarf planet Eris – some 96.6 astronomical units from the sun (for those of you keeping score at home, one AU equals roughly 92 million miles).

Back on earth, there’s also new footage from the moment of impact …

UPDATE: Obviously, we’re having a little fun here.  NASA is far too busy with “other things” to do the important work of monitoring the trajectory of football helmets through our solar system.

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17 comments

Recovering Lobbyist January 2, 2013 at 7:58 pm

You were close. The SC Highway Patrol just reported finding a blue and yellow striped football helmet in the middle of I-85 near Spartanburg.

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rickie January 3, 2013 at 8:58 am

I thought they pulled it over for speeding.

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The Ghost of Gerald Ford January 2, 2013 at 8:21 pm

NEWS FLASH – from AP:

I have just granted Vincent Smith a Presidential Pardon despite the fact that he lost a prestigious bowl win for my beloved Michigan.

This being in the hope that in his future endeavors, he will redeem himself and bring honor to Michigan.

This pardon is conditional, because —- “just screw up one more time!”

President Gerald Ford

Reply
The Ghost of Gerald Ford January 2, 2013 at 8:29 pm

REWARD OFFERED

One Michigan helmet, broken strap, grass stained, dented – only hit once.

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Rings Around Your Anus January 2, 2013 at 8:39 pm

Report: The helmet has just passed through our force field and is now headed towards Jupiter and beyond.

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shifty henry January 2, 2013 at 9:03 pm

Excellent graphics and article, Fits. You should forward this to both Michigan and South Carolina.

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Smirks January 2, 2013 at 9:38 pm

All right, now we just need Clowney to sack a few manned shuttles and we’ll have colonized Mars before 2014.

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rickie January 3, 2013 at 8:57 am

The Post and Courier website has a frame by frame viewing of the hit — it’s neat to see it in slow motion. Camera angle is from behind the Michigan player. You can see Clowney’s arms wrapping around the guy before the hit. and the helmet flies.

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shifty henry January 3, 2013 at 9:08 am

Saw it – awesome! The video showing a series of Clowney’s tackles show his upper arm strength. He usually spins the guys around and slams them to the ground.

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BradWarthenSucks January 3, 2013 at 10:10 am

Those things happen on helmet to helmet hits.

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Dat Boy is my hero! January 3, 2013 at 10:25 am

4 in a row Bradlover.. one for the thumb in 2013.
Happy New Year!

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sid January 3, 2013 at 10:25 am

If the refs thought Smith had intentionally led with his helmet, they would have flagged him. They probably just thought it was just ill-advised to run into Clowney that way, and no malicious intent was involved.

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scsince60 January 3, 2013 at 6:45 pm

I cringe for those who find themselves in your company.

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Original Good Ole Boy January 4, 2013 at 12:11 am

It was helmet to chest dumbass

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SenseLikeChaps January 3, 2013 at 11:02 am

That is just silly, the idea of a football helmet achieving escape velocity, just ridiculous. It was only enough force to clear Sunshine Skyway Bridge.

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G8RB8R January 10, 2013 at 8:41 pm

BTW, Smith did not have a number on his helmet, and his jersey number is 2, not 5. LMAO

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stilllaughing January 10, 2013 at 9:23 pm

The hit was so hard it flipped that 2 upside down and then backwards; turned it into a five………)))))))))

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