Powerball: Buy Your Tickets, Mouth Breathers!

JACKPOT REACHES RECORD $500 MILLION Christmas has come early for the dumb ass people of South Carolina … most of whom are heading to the nearest Quik-E-Mart right now to purchase tickets for a record-setting $500 million Powerball jackpot. Never mind that the odds of winning this elusive jackpot are one…


Christmas has come early for the dumb ass people of South Carolina … most of whom are heading to the nearest Quik-E-Mart right now to purchase tickets for a record-setting $500 million Powerball jackpot.

Never mind that the odds of winning this elusive jackpot are one in 175 million … it doesn’t matter.  Most of these mouth breathers can’t spell or pronounce “elusive,” nor can they count past 175 – a testament to the stellar performance of our state’s government-funded schools.

And so with visions of Jack Daniels’ water fountains, Dodge Ram limousines and sleeveless camouflage tuxedos dancing in their heads, these knuckle draggers head off to deprive themselves of sorely needed income while hard-working people  like us (who use “elusive” in sentences and are capable of counting past 175) shell out increasingly large sums of our income to subsidize their food, rent and health care.

Which brings us to the real winner in all of this: Government, which not only gets new dependents but millions of additional dollars to blow on all sorts of stuff – while at the same time preserving its monopoly over gaming.

It’s a “win-win-win …” if of course your objective is for society to lose.

Anyway, this isn’t actually the record U.S. jackpot – that was this March’s $656 million Mega Millions drawing.

South Carolina has participated in the Powerball jackpot since 2002 – and in the Mega Millions jackpot since 2010.  All but seven states participate in at least one of these games – meaning that this week’s mouth breathing will be a nationwide phenomenon.

As we’ve noted on numerous occasions, we have no problem with gambling.  In fact we believe all forms of it should be legalized – particularly those forms which would provide our state’s tourism economy with a competitive advantage over other states..  We do, however, oppose state-sponsored gaming – as well as efforts by state leaders to preserve that monopoly at all costs.


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Nolff November 27, 2012 at 1:37 pm

I’ve had to deal with idiots clogging up lines at the gas station because of all this hysteria. It takes like 15 minutes to get gas and a coffee.

BradWarthenSucks November 27, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Was the coffee worth the 15 minute wait? You can pay for your gas at the pump.

dwb619 November 27, 2012 at 5:12 pm


toyota kawaski November 28, 2012 at 8:21 am

you know all about pumping gas Brad Cock sucker

Inletman November 27, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Taking a chance on the state lottery is voluntary. Who really cares if someone voluntarily purchases a ticket? Why call them “mouth breathers”? Why write a negative article? What’s the issue??

Used To Be a Republican Before I Grew Up! November 27, 2012 at 2:42 pm

There is none

Fits is a typical Republican

Always raising Hell about “government” except when he wants it to do something for him

Like that ol Tea Party biddie

“I want the guvmint to keep its hands off my Medicare”

dwb619 November 27, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Bet he wouldn’t turn down a few mil from the winner!

jimlewis,owb November 27, 2012 at 2:05 pm

“Never mind that the odds of winning …… are one in 175 million”

Same odds on the publication of fits’ book by 2020

Same odds that fits will ever see the Gypsy Queen nakkied, again

Same odds that Michael will ever see the Gypsy Queen nakkied,3rd time

Judy Chop November 27, 2012 at 7:36 pm

You left out:

Same odds on Kathyrn Dennis getting a reality show based on Will Folks’ slobbering support.

Robert November 27, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Hey FITS, don’t buy a ticket..I don’t care. And I know my odds are weak. But the only way I definitely won’t win is to not play.

If I win the $425 million, then I can kiss SC goodbye and I’ll have better things to do than read this site.

math, matt, ticks November 27, 2012 at 2:23 pm

1/175,000,000 * $425,000,000 = $2.43 (if no one else wins) – ~$1.50 after lump sum and taxes = ~$0.90. Assuming payout increases due to high volume and only one winner it arguably makes sense to play.

Robert November 27, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Now at $500 million; $327.4 million lump sum.

I’d take the annuity for 30 years. After taxes, that would be about $10.4 million per year…..

math, matt, ticks November 27, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Thanks Robert. So…

1/175,000,000 * $327,400,000 = $1.87 – $0.78 Fed/SC tax = $1.09.

This is higher than the cost of the ticket, so I’m gonna go buy a ticket!

Due to very low interest rates I wouldn’t take the annuity unless you think you’ll waste the lump sum. Plus, Powerball could be overrun by pirates in the next 30 years for all I know. I’d take the lump sum, buy a private island, and set that bad boy up for the apocolypse…and buy my mom a house.

Robert November 27, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Interest rates have no impact. I just won’t pass on the additional $170 million.

I’ve seen one financial “expert” on tv say take the lump sum; you can make more on it investing. Bull. There is no way to make $170million on $327 million.

Jesse's Pontiac Ventura November 28, 2012 at 1:02 am

If I win, I’ll spring for colonoscopies for all of y’all!

math, matt, ticks November 28, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Robert, are you serious? You can’t double your money in 30 years?

Jesse, no thanks.

Sailor November 27, 2012 at 3:13 pm

O.K. Fits, breakdown and buy one lousy ticket!

Smirks November 27, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Just because the total is bigger, the lottery has run longer, and more people are buying tickets, doesn’t mean your chances of winning are any higher. I don’t get why people are dumb enough to buy $500 worth of tickets when they stand the same chances of buying the winning ticket whether it is $40 mil or $400 mil. And I’m pretty sure $40 mil would be life changing for pretty much anyone who plays the lottery.

To each his own, I suppose.

dwb619 November 27, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I play one number per draw, ’bout the same as price as a pack of gum. But IF you win, the sugar last a lot longer.

Head Deacon November 27, 2012 at 3:43 pm

5 years running I play twice per week. Have a running deal with a friend who does the same that we split anything over 1 million.

That said, small occasional winnings included, I lose approx $300-325 per year. Its included in my entertainment budget. Biggest hit was $600 bucks, never play scratch cards.

Now, I brew my own coffee, don’t smoke, drink moderately mostly at home and eat out with coupons. Stopped paying for sex years ago, grow most of my vegetables and NEVER TITHE. I chop my own wood, drive a ten-year old truck and re-load my own shells. I believe in the value of church but am still trying to decide on GOD. I pay my taxes.

Call me a mouth-breather, whatever that is, but I enjoy the lottery. The best strategy is to play consistently. The most numbers that I’ve hit in a row are 4 so if I keep playing what’s to stop me from hitting 5?

Go Cocks.

ceilidh12 November 27, 2012 at 5:12 pm

I’m with you. I hope you win big one day.

Judy Chop November 27, 2012 at 7:39 pm

If you DON’T TITHE God will never bless you. Try the numbers 666 over and over again. If you win — give the Devil his due.

Family Guy November 27, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Every time one of my friends or family members criticize me for playing the powerball I make a mental note: One less person to worry about “helping” when the number gods smile on me.

Then I ask them how much those cancer sticks cost per week cost that they are sucking on.

Robert November 27, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I have a LONG list of names that I can tell to kiss my ass after I win.

dwb619 November 27, 2012 at 9:49 pm


Dr. (Well I'll Be) M.D. November 27, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Fits……..Play the Lottery and more than likely you’ll never win a darn thing. But,……………one things for damn sure, YOU CAN’T WIN IT IF YOU DON’T PLAY IT!

ceilidh12 November 27, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Let them gamble.

The only one you’re hurting is yourself by depriving yourself of capital.

The rich can afford to gamble.

I rarely play the lottery. I am too busy with other, more constructive things, like making a living !

Dr. (Well I'll Be) M.D. November 27, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Key word here is……drum rolllllllllll…..RARELY!

toyota kawaski November 28, 2012 at 8:25 am

When i hit FITSNEWS? will be no more….. Tweet That

Philip Branton November 28, 2012 at 9:09 am

When I hit the lottery I will start a fake campaign to have Wil Folks as a write-in candidate against Nikki. Just imagine the billboards all over our state..!! Banners flying behind crop dusters at the football games…… Wil Folks nite at the Crazy Horse in Myrtle Beach….. Sports radio ad spots during the “Wild Wing” coach chats…..

I am going to have the time of my LIFE…..!!!!!

Just imagine the fun from the lawsuits alone…..!!!

Philip Branton November 28, 2012 at 9:21 am

Ya know…….while my mind is on a Powerball roll, just think how easy it would be to turn Wil Folks into the posterboy for everything that is great about South Carolina..!

Just think about how his bald-headed logo could be “be-dazzled” and plastered on every stop sign across our state…..!!

Heck, give Wil the “Elton John” treatment and put a different pair of sunglasses on his dome each week….

If this website is powered by the “Mace” group then by all means have a cartoon of Will with a can of “mace” in his hand…..!!

We just wonder what theme song would be appropriate ?

We feel sure that Toyota Kawasaki or Smirks or any other fine “posse” personnel could come up with some rally bumper music..!!

Catfish for everyone…..and a lottery ticket..!!

James Gregory November 28, 2012 at 10:16 am

Doesn’t seem to be worth the trouble right now;I think I’ll wait a spell till it gets to a billion.

Aloha Steve November 28, 2012 at 11:52 am

I get the whole odds thing, but the funny thing is….someone always wins. So it may go 4-6 weeks before someone wins, someone always wins. It isn’t like the lottery goes 4 years without a winner. It rarely goes a couple of weeks before someone wins. If it went years without a winner, I would understand not putting $5 down on it.

Might as well be me because at the end of the day, I have the same odds of winning as every other person in America.

Uncle Remus November 28, 2012 at 1:03 pm

The Uncle has 10 tickets in plan. We negroes love to play the lottery. White man keeping us down

Judy Chop November 28, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Negro Hawk Down

Booyah November 28, 2012 at 11:12 pm

I “won” several thousand dollars from the Education Lottery, by GOING TO COLLEGE.

I will “win” several thousand more, by completing my degree.

If you want a trained workforce, the Lottery is providing massive assistance in making that happen. Companies DEMAND trained workers, and no, they won’t train them in many cases. That’s the job of the education system.

The Lottery helps create productive taxpayers from the uneducated SC masses. It’s a great deal.

Find something else to bitch about. The Lottery makes workforce training possible for many people who otherwise could never afford it. Don’t like “welfare”? The Lottery creates workers, not leeches.


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