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“You’ll Poke Your Eye Out, Kid”

BEHOLD, THE CATAPENCIL …  By FITSNEWS || A pencil slingshot, light-up crossbow, glorified fireworks, a plastic “battle hammer” and an electric machine gun that looks a little too close to the real thing … these are among the “ten worst toys” this holiday season. Since 1973, an organization called World Against Toys…

BEHOLD, THE CATAPENCIL … 

By FITSNEWS || A pencil slingshot, light-up crossbow, glorified fireworks, a plastic “battle hammer” and an electric machine gun that looks a little too close to the real thing … these are among the “ten worst toys” this holiday season.

Since 1973, an organization called World Against Toys Causing Harm (WATCH) has released a list of what it deems to be the most dangerous toys for sale that holiday season – hoping to inform parents of potential hazards before they do their Christmas shopping.

Overkill?  Perhaps … although nine kids died last year as a result of toy-related incidents, most of them the result of asphyxiation.  Or so says the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission.

Our favorite toy on this year’s list?  The “Catapencil” – which advertises itself to kids with the tagline “because the pencil is mightier than the sword.”

It also encourages “target practice for your desktop” – because what teacher doesn’t want their entire class to be armed with slingshots when they’re handing out pop quizzes or giving back graded homework assignments.

Seriously … one of these and a bag of marbles could be all sorts of fun …

Like this example included on the toy’s packaging …

(Click to enlarge)

catapencil

(Pic: Via)

“Sharpened pencils should not be marketed as playthings, much less a miniature slingshot-style launcher,” WATCH’s warning reads.

In other words, to borrow a line from A Christmas Story, “you’ll poke your eye out, kid.”

To view the list for yourself, click HERE …

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25 comments

BrigidBernadette November 25, 2014 at 9:39 am

Umm, in case you haven’t heard, the country is on fire in some places, with more protests planned for today. And you are posting about football and toys. And no one is commenting, because we are elsewhere reading the NEWS.

Reply
Tazmaniac November 25, 2014 at 9:43 am

With this crowd, a Ferguson post would crash his servers. FITS is trying to rent backup right now so he can get in the game for those clicks.

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jimlewisowb November 25, 2014 at 10:05 am

Apparently you are not reading The State

Their lead story is “Some Along Clemson Road Feeling Saturated by Growth” – for the record that is some ball busting journalism

As for Ferguson who gives a flying fuck. Even if they had “indicted” looting and burning would have taken place – rather than a protest event it would have been hailed as a celebration event

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rwwllms November 25, 2014 at 12:20 pm

The chimpout was going to happen no matter what. The animals were just looking for an excuse, any excuse, to do what comes natural to their culture.

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Buz Martin November 25, 2014 at 10:13 am

Oh. Haven’t you heard? Things have calmed down in Ferguson. And Reverent Al is on his way to make sure it stays calm.

Could not type that with a straight face.

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Al Sharpton's Penis November 25, 2014 at 10:54 am

Headed to Ferguson to erect a memorial to the cute cuddly little rascal, Mike Brown.

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TontoBubbaGoldstein November 25, 2014 at 10:24 am

Umm, in case you haven’t heard, the country is on fire in some places, with more protests planned for today.

The roof!
The roof!
The roof is on fire!
We don’t need no water let the mothaf**ker burn!

TBG is uncomfortably full of last nights popcorn.

Reply
Smirks November 25, 2014 at 10:39 am

We don’t need no water let the mothaf**ker burn!

Sir, please, we’re trying to evacuate the building.

Reply
BrigidBernadette November 25, 2014 at 10:44 am

That summoned a vivid picture in my mind.

Reply
The Colonel November 25, 2014 at 12:51 pm

It didn’t for me until you mentioned it. Thanks – not…

BrigidBernadette November 25, 2014 at 10:48 am

There was a female wrestler back in the day named Sally Mohammed Rabinowitz. She wanted to cut her own head off. But she sounds like the girl for you. You would have gotten along like a house afire. And she was from Cleveland!

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RogueElephant November 25, 2014 at 4:26 pm

“TBG is still full of last nights popcorn.” That ain’t al you are full of. Plus 10

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TontoBubbaGoldstein November 25, 2014 at 5:13 pm

A) Chutzpah?
B) Fire-water?
C) Both?

C.

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St. Swisher the Sweek November 25, 2014 at 10:28 am

I’m sure an article on New Detroit will be up soon enough and the apologists for St. Swisher the Sweet will be out by the hundreds.

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urbantrout November 25, 2014 at 1:24 pm

The country’s on fire? That’s a bit of an overstatement…..there weren’t enough jigaboos on the streets of Ferguson last night to make a decent Tarzan movie.

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RogueElephant November 25, 2014 at 4:23 pm

News flash. The same thing would have happened no matter what the grand jury said. The trash doing the rioting were paid professional rioters. The locals were bunkered down in their homes hoping and praying to make it through the night. An investigation should be started to find the responsible parties who paid the “protesters “and make them pay damages. There are , more than likely, several “organizations” responsible. Left wing orgs. I might add.

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Tazmaniac November 25, 2014 at 9:41 am

Those aren’t toys. They are Darwinian enhancement tools.

Reply
urbantrout November 25, 2014 at 1:34 pm

Oh , please….when I was a kid, we had Skilcraft chemistry sets with 100+ vials of volatile substances in them, gasoline powered airplanes on a string, 500 degree woodburning kits, etc, etc….we survived….imagine that.

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Yep! November 25, 2014 at 3:08 pm

There was a brief time you could get scientific kits with radioactive elements in them…lol

Reply
RogueElephant November 25, 2014 at 4:17 pm

The chemistry set was fun, the airplane was too hard to keep running, and I got my but cut for burning the furniture. I might have gotten my but cut for the chemistry set to. But I forget. LOL

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Smirks November 25, 2014 at 10:38 am

All of these toys pretty much boil down to “You need to watch your kids, you moron.”

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RogueElephant November 25, 2014 at 4:09 pm

I still haven’t figured out how we made it through childhood without all the govt. safety crap. I can only assume children were smarter before the govt. schools dumbed them down. Oh, and we had prayer in school. Must have been a lot of them answered.

Reply
CorruptionInColumbia November 26, 2014 at 3:59 pm

I think you’re right, Rogue!!!!

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euwe max November 26, 2014 at 6:20 pm

If more guns make us safer, why wouldn’t sling pencils? We should allow children to acclimatize themselves to the use of force to diffuse social situations.. it’s all about the quick and the dead – right?

Reply

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