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The Lowest Moment Obamcare Will Ever Have

Rarely does something come along that utterly defies our capacity for rational explanation/ analysis … In fact that never happens. Pretty much whatever lands on our plates … we pride ourselves on being able to explain it and put it in its proper context for you, our faithful readers. But…

Rarely does something come along that utterly defies our capacity for rational explanation/ analysis …

In fact that never happens.

Pretty much whatever lands on our plates … we pride ourselves on being able to explain it and put it in its proper context for you, our faithful readers.

But the pro-Obamcare “Covered California” video starring fitness guru Richard Simmons has succeeded in rendering us speechless.

Seriously … where to start with this?

The homoerotic twerking? (Homo-twerking?) Simmons rubbing his crotch as he writhes on the ground in support of U.S. President Barack Obama’s socialized medicine plan? Or what about the prepubescent Leonardo DiCaprio-looking female host rapping “Get Covered” and “Hashtag: Get Covered” in between each pulsating beat.

You tell us …

There are no words … there are simply no words.

“Oh beautiful, for spacious skies … for amber waves of grain …”

UPDATE: In case you’re wondering, Covered California received $43 million worth of federal grant money last year to “educate targeted audiences about the subsidy programs available to them and to motivate consumers and small businesses to be part of obtaining health insurance.”

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69 comments

Derp January 17, 2014 at 4:20 pm

Watching whatever that was has given me a pre-existing condition #coveryoureyes

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shifty henry January 17, 2014 at 6:31 pm

Unfortunately, the program currently does not cover Shifty’s pre-existing condition..

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Jay Ellington January 20, 2014 at 4:04 pm

If you like your eyes, you can keep them.

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Jay Ellington January 17, 2014 at 4:29 pm

Even for California, this is weird as hell. I’m sure Moooshell gives it two hooves up.

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Led January 18, 2014 at 12:05 pm

Ha!

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what about January 17, 2014 at 4:47 pm

That’s so unfortunate. The “host” looks to be Hanna Hart who does (or did) the popular YouTube videos called “My Drunk Kitchen.” Those videos are hysterical.

I’m sure she got paid a ton of our money to do this abomination, but it so sad to see a really funny and original person like her fall this hard.

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MashPotato January 17, 2014 at 5:11 pm

I too am at a loss… although I have the urge to weep for America’s future

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TontoBubbaGoldstein January 17, 2014 at 9:46 pm

Dude, TBG has the urge to weep for America’s present

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SCBlues January 17, 2014 at 5:28 pm

Richard Simmons has always laughed all the way to the bank.

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shifty henry January 17, 2014 at 6:52 pm

His birth name was Richard Whiskey, but he changed it because of his nickname — “Dick Likker:

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thenostradumbass January 17, 2014 at 8:01 pm

Ahahahahaha:!!!!!!

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MashPotato January 17, 2014 at 10:18 pm

Too clever for your own good Shifty! Very well done

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shifty henry January 18, 2014 at 1:51 am

I discovered that it’s good for my mental health to wipe the cobwebs off some of the old ones. I hope that you folks get some laughs from them — and share them with others…..

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Sailor January 17, 2014 at 11:21 pm

I really think you would clean up doing stand-up!

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shifty henry January 18, 2014 at 1:48 am

Sometimes my memory is refreshed by an article, or a comment posted by someone that (according to Hercule Poirot) “awakens the little grey cells.”
And, Sailor, I was thinking a few days ago about telling my kids about the about the time in the Navy when I was stationed on a Greek island, and actually had a brief night club act with a night club stripper. aaaaah, the memories!

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Jay Ellington January 17, 2014 at 8:22 pm

He’s only laughing on the outside.

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SCBlues January 17, 2014 at 9:19 pm

And what is happening on the inside, pray tell?

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TontoBubbaGoldstein January 17, 2014 at 9:43 pm

Gerbils.

Lots and lots of gerbils.

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Frank Pytel January 18, 2014 at 4:22 am

I remember that. Whatever happened to that fella?

TontoBubbaGoldstein January 18, 2014 at 9:52 am

TBG believes he is now a US Senator from SC.

Frank Pytel January 20, 2014 at 6:02 am

BBWwwajhahahahahhahahahaahaha

TBG. Snatched that one away from Shifty Dinya. Dawg.

The Colonel January 18, 2014 at 7:48 am

+5

Jay Ellington January 17, 2014 at 10:15 pm

Well let’s see, formerly fat person that never came to terms with how he let himself get that way. Wanna be comedian who is painfully unfunny (most of the time). Then there’s the sexuality thingamabob that he’s clearly avoided for his entire career… I say to each his own, just own it. I would guess he’s very sad on the inside SCBlues. This video and the cause that it champions is a farce and a sham. I would have retained a little bit of respect for Richard had he chosen NOT to do something as shameful as this. I do however commend his motivational work for people who are weight challenged or otherwise ostracized for being different or quirky.

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idcydm January 17, 2014 at 8:34 pm

And it’s our tax dollars he’s laughing with this time.

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Frank Pytel January 18, 2014 at 4:20 am

Greats brother. Grands is so 2012.

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idcydm January 18, 2014 at 8:12 am

Don’t know that we’ll last that long.

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Aimee January 17, 2014 at 7:11 pm

Dumbest thing I have ever seen. How much money was harmed in the making of this film?

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shifty henry January 18, 2014 at 10:44 am

Did you not see the disclaimer at the end? — “No heterosexuals were harmed during the making of this production”

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TontoBubbaGoldstein January 19, 2014 at 10:03 am

If the DJ is lesbian… TBG is willing to “take one for the team” and attempt a conversion…..

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shifty henry January 19, 2014 at 10:16 am

You have now been accepted as a founding “Member of the A Team”…..

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9" January 17, 2014 at 7:11 pm

he’s beyond queer.he’s an abomination,and an embarrassment to the human race,although his humanity is doubtful. what i love about,the south,though;an acceptable motive for murder is-‘they just needed killing’

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TontoBubbaGoldstein January 17, 2014 at 7:37 pm

Wait…..

WHAT?

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JJEvans January 17, 2014 at 8:39 pm

I would have never thought it…

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thenostradumbass January 17, 2014 at 9:14 pm

Danny Pintauro.

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9" January 17, 2014 at 8:51 pm

You heard me,son.Just because I’m a homo,don’t mean I don’t hate that fag.I guess you love everybody who’s heterosexual,huh.
Your kind needs to show some sense,and you could start right now.

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MashPotato January 17, 2014 at 10:19 pm

You’re gay?

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Centarian January 17, 2014 at 10:23 pm

I wish society could have the word “gay” back. Queer is a better description anyway.

9" January 17, 2014 at 11:56 pm

not right now

TontoBubbaGoldstein January 18, 2014 at 4:54 am

If anyrhing could “cure” gayness…it would be Richard Simmons.

9" January 19, 2014 at 4:31 pm

not with beef like this around;the anti-simmons:http://www.macksf.com/191.jpg

TontoBubbaGoldstein January 18, 2014 at 9:48 am

Your kind…

Oy vey!!
That attitude is why cousin Schlomo “Ira Hayes” Yellowfeather drinks…

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9" January 18, 2014 at 6:49 pm

just turning the tables;) peace,bro

johnq January 17, 2014 at 8:59 pm

Funny, I bet a lot of people think the same about you and people just like you.

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Tom January 17, 2014 at 7:24 pm

This is suppose to make me sign up for health insurance? For that matter, what did it have to do with insurance?

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The Unknown Comic January 17, 2014 at 10:39 pm

Preparation for AIDS treatment?

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TontoBubbaGoldstein January 17, 2014 at 7:38 pm

#WE’RE FUCKED

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thenostradumbass January 17, 2014 at 7:59 pm

Did anyone else spooge????

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The Colonel January 18, 2014 at 7:49 am

I threw up in my mouth a little…

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JJEvans January 17, 2014 at 8:30 pm

AIDS has a purpose.

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johnq January 17, 2014 at 8:56 pm

Good for them!!

If they pissed off the teapublicans I say MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! YEAH!!

The gnashing of teeth and tears of impotent rage from you tea party assholes as Obamacare steamrolls right pass your sorry asses brings jot to my heart.

Fuck You!! LoL!!

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johnq January 17, 2014 at 8:56 pm

joy too!!

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Kevin January 17, 2014 at 10:21 pm

http://www.caintv.com/phil-robertson-cant-cite-scrip

In the name of all things religious – please stop this crap – they are trying to make the homosexual lifestyle appear normal to all our children.

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Kevin January 17, 2014 at 10:38 pm

You have to click the link but it is an almost identical link to four guys dancing around to a christmas song – saying “get enrolled, get enrolled, get enrolled” the appeal to the homosexual community is blatant.

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9" January 18, 2014 at 12:00 am

there is no ‘homosexual community’ or ‘lifestyle’.only homo sapiens

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Roger Bouchard January 19, 2014 at 6:20 pm

No Richard Simmons is just weird!

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Another government failure January 17, 2014 at 10:25 pm

No matter how government tries, it will never be “cool”, “hip”, or innovative.

In fact, as you see here, government take things that were at one time successful outside of government involvement and finds a way to ruin them.

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anonymous January 17, 2014 at 10:31 pm

whoever produced this is out of touch with the country

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Jay Ellington January 17, 2014 at 11:04 pm

I’ve done broadcast work for nearly 20 years, this is schlock.

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euwe max January 18, 2014 at 2:47 am

This is proof Republicans have co-opted the program.

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euwe max January 18, 2014 at 12:22 pm

Shake your tail feathers!

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SCBlues January 18, 2014 at 2:57 pm

I knew just the mention of the name “Richard Simmons” would draw out all the homophobes. What has Richard Simmons ever done to any of you folks to warrant such invective? At least he has done something positive with his life – helped a lot of folks get healthy – provided a “safe” place for some extremely overweight folks to feel comfortable and exercise. So what if he’s Gay and why the preoccupation? If you have a preoccupation with Gay sex, then for god’s sake go and have some Gay sex and maybe you can get it off your mind. All of these comments about Gay people are trite and boring.

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shifty henry January 20, 2014 at 12:06 pm

The “guy”(?) is simply a freak – an embarrassment and insult to men..

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fasciststink January 18, 2014 at 3:17 pm

This is just a foretaste of Obamacare…still hungry?

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zzzzz January 18, 2014 at 8:52 pm

Actually, this pervy tax-payer funded video is just the beginning of Obamacare lows…give the law another 10 years and you will think this video prophetic….

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David K McCombs January 19, 2014 at 8:43 am

So the federal taxpayer paid for this! This is how my money is being spent? My cookies are being lost.

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nosurprises January 19, 2014 at 7:27 pm

What did you expect from an Administration full of perverts and deviants?

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Slartibartfast January 20, 2014 at 4:58 pm

Columbia used to have a TV show with those same production values – it was produced and sponsored by a local restaurant owner – and that’s all I’m gonna say, because that restaurant owner was a friend of mine.

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shifty henry January 21, 2014 at 8:06 am

Anybody remember the tv ad for the Chinese restaurant — with the owner dancing on top of the building dressed as Elvis..??

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Slartibartfast January 24, 2014 at 10:42 am

Kester’s Bamboo House? Mr. Kester would have been long since dead, if it was that restaurant.

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