SC

SC Blogs: Our Diction Is Bigger, Better

Recently we welcomed former (?) National Security Agency analyst and Nikki Haley acolyte Charlie Speight back to the South Carolina political blogosphere – which is starting to heat up again in anticipation of the upcoming 2014 statewide (and 2016 presidential primary ) elections. We would be remiss, though, not to…

Recently we welcomed former (?) National Security Agency analyst and Nikki Haley acolyte Charlie Speight back to the South Carolina political blogosphere – which is starting to heat up again in anticipation of the upcoming 2014 statewide (and 2016 presidential primary ) elections.

We would be remiss, though, not to also send a shoutout to a new Palmetto political blog, GOPWrite.com – the mouthpiece of South Carolina’s big spending, crony capitalist, “Republican” establishment and devout haters of the pro-free market, pro-liberty wing of the GOP.

We quoted this site in our recent story on New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie – who is staring down a pair of major scandals up in the Garden State.

Anyway, in rushing to Christie’s defense (establishment “Republicans” gotta stick together), GOPWrite.com referenced the existence of a “palatable” hate toward the rotund RINO in South Carolina.

Um … “palatable?”

Look, we get that this is South Carolina – where the indigenous population isn’t especially quick on the uptake.  In fact “not quick on the uptake” is putting it politely.  Most South Carolinians are slow – and getting slower.

Also we understand that looking at Christie would make one think of food …

christie palatable

Mmmmmmm … “git in mah belly!”

Still, as opposed to “palatable” (i.e. having a pleasant or agreeable taste) we believe the word this website’s authors were looking for was “palpable” (i.e. easily perceptible).

Now … why would we stoop so low as to correct the language fail of a nothingburger blog?

Well, aside from the fact it’s lonely at the top (and we’re hankering for something, anything resembling competition in the South Carolina new media marketplace), it’s easy: We LOVE showing off just how big our diction really is.

And how small somebody else’s is by comparison …

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31 comments

PearlCappsHeartsCock January 13, 2014 at 10:29 am

I thought one of the bloggers on GOPWrite loves him some big diction so much so that he dresses like a woman and solicites said diction on craigslist.

Reply
The Colonel January 13, 2014 at 10:49 am

Will, I don’t think I’d start throwing grammar bombs if I was you – something about people who live in glass houses…

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Will Folks aka Sic January 13, 2014 at 11:01 am

Every day I whip my diction out many times. My diction has staying power. These mini-dics post once or twice a day. I put my diction up against anybody else in this state. Any day. Well, except former Speaker David Wilkins. That guy is a regular Milton Berle. Just ask his longtime assistant Christy Cox.

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The Colonel January 13, 2014 at 11:05 am

I consider the gauntlet to have been dropped sir – we will be forced to point out you “dictatorial” failings hence forth.
BTW – Isn’t whipping out his “diction” what got Burgess in trouble over in Anderson?

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TontoBubbaGoldstein January 13, 2014 at 12:02 pm

Obligatory “Blazing Saddles” clip.

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Mike at the Beach January 13, 2014 at 2:54 pm

Pardon me whiles I whip dis out!

The Colonel January 13, 2014 at 3:04 pm

Once while I was a young lieutenant, I staggered walked into the latrine at the officers club mid way through a drunken brawl Dining In and walked up to the urinal to do my business. Thinking I was clever I nearly fell as I leaned over and said to the Major standing beside me, “man that water is cold”. Without missing a beat, he replied, “yeah and it’s cold too”

shifty henry January 13, 2014 at 4:14 pm

Don’t you have two jokes mixed up? I’ll throw one in
————-

Bubba and Buzz went outside to take a leak and Bubba confessed, “I wish I had one like my cousin Junior. He needs four fingers to hold his.”
Buzz looked over and pointed out, “But you’re holding yours with four fingers.”
“I know,” said Bubba with a sigh, “but I’m peeing on three of them.”

The Unknown Comic January 13, 2014 at 4:19 pm

Did you mean “it’s deep too”?

:)

The Colonel January 13, 2014 at 4:54 pm

Well, the whole night is a little fuzzy and it was a long time ago…

Yes, here’s the correct version:

Once while I was a idiot second young lieutenant, I staggered walked into the latrine at the officers club mid way through a drunken brawl Dining In and walked up to the urinal to do my business. Thinking I was clever I nearly fell as I leaned over and said to the Major standing beside me, “man that water is cold”. Without missing a beat, he replied, “yeah and it’s deep too”

9" January 13, 2014 at 5:35 pm

I was quite surprised by your diction,that night.You said,’it’s downright,Brobdingnagian,sir.’ Good times;-)

shifty henry January 13, 2014 at 12:03 pm

Viers vs Bessinger, et al…….

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MashPotato January 13, 2014 at 6:31 pm

“… to point out your grammatical failings henceforth.”

Thought I’d help!

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The Colonel January 14, 2014 at 5:40 am

I found this story about a tool to help Will with his “diction”: http://freebeacon.com/taxpayers-paid-nearly-175m-for-penis-pumps-between-2006-and-2011/

Needle dick bug fuckers January 14, 2014 at 3:49 pm

How would we know that we are taking it up the rear from pols if they didn’t have their penis pumps?

TontoBubbaGoldstein January 13, 2014 at 12:08 pm

I put my diction up against anybody else in this state.

You had best keep that little thing away from TBG, Hoss.

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Subjunctive Mood January 14, 2014 at 5:53 pm

“Will, I don’t think I’d start throwing grammar bombs if I WERE you – something about people who live in glass houses…”
Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

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The Colonel January 14, 2014 at 11:19 pm

Hey, grammar mongers, Will threw down the gauntlet, not me.

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein January 13, 2014 at 11:01 am

ProTip:
Having big diction is nothing unless you know how to use it.

Reply
Punitive January 13, 2014 at 11:20 am

Diction is nothing if it isn’t filled with substance.

:)

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TontoBubbaGoldstein January 13, 2014 at 12:04 pm

Substantive diction can lead to pregnant pauses.

Reply
shifty henry January 13, 2014 at 12:42 pm

Although today is officially MAKE YOUR DREAM COME TRUE DAY, it has now become the first day of IMPROVE YOUR IQ WEEK……..

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shifty henry January 13, 2014 at 12:06 pm

To repeat one of my favorites—–

The bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated
conversation. The lady sitting behind
them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when
she hears one of the men say:

“Emma come first. Den
I come. Two asses dey come
together. I come again. Two asses,
dey come together again. I come
again and pee twice. Den I come one-a
more.”

“You foul-mouthed people,”
the lady yelled. “In this country
we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!”

“Hey, coola-downa lady,” said the man. “Imma justa teachin’ my fren’ howa to spella
Mississippi.”

Reply
Tre B. January 13, 2014 at 12:21 pm

WINNER!!! …and Shifty Henry drops da mic and exits stage right…

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shifty henry January 13, 2014 at 12:29 pm

Here is an easy test for time-wasting. Three words are missing, and each word has the same letters—-

“I HOPE TO MEET MY BARTENDER FACE TO FACE”

‘Twould much _ _ _ _ _ _ you to me if, when I
Have _ _ _ _ _ _ my fatal moment, and must die,

You”d share one well _ _ _ _ _ _ drink, and pray there are
Some more to come across that final bar.

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein January 13, 2014 at 2:04 pm

The endearing John Houseman provides a clue.

Reply
shifty henry January 13, 2014 at 2:24 pm

Again, each missing word uses the same letters—-

“HIGHLAND FLING”

Sweet Molly MacDougal, in labor,
Warned her sister, “It hurts like a _ _ _ _ _ ,
Sin _ _ _ _ _ a high price,
So a girl should think twice
What she _ _ _ _ _ on the _ _ _ _ _ for a neighbor.

Reply
shifty henry January 13, 2014 at 2:33 pm

Finally, just for fun and the misspelled words are clues!

I don’t misspell, as others _ _ _ _,
But allways right each _ _ _ _ rite;
So I _ _ _ _ resounding hoops
At other righters’ speling bloops!

Reply
9" January 13, 2014 at 3:06 pm

Can FITS’ diction match his pedantry? I’ll gladly participate in a Milton Berle vs Fess Parker contest…

Reply
Speight January 13, 2014 at 11:45 pm

So… Am I gonna run Christie’s SC campaign like you had me doing in 2012?
As for your impeccable diction, grammar and syntax, can’t wait to get my copy of your book so I can enjoy in a single volume.

Reply
shifty henry January 15, 2014 at 9:01 am

“so I can enjoy in a single volume”
Do you mean reading it in one sitting —- say, about the time it takes for the average crap?

Reply

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