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The Greatest News Item Ever?

It’s a shame stories are forgotten almost as soon as they’re published in our information overloaded society … because The Smoking Gun published one for the ages this week. This tale has it all: Space aliens. Domestic violence. A famous author. A hilarious typo. Oh … and a silver handgun…

It’s a shame stories are forgotten almost as soon as they’re published in our information overloaded society … because The Smoking Gun published one for the ages this week.

This tale has it all: Space aliens. Domestic violence. A famous author. A hilarious typo. Oh … and a silver handgun hidden inside a woman’s vagina.

Wait … what?

Yup. Quoting from a probable cause statement obtained from the Santa Fe County Sheriff’s Office, The Smoking Gun lays the scene thusly …

A domestic dispute over space aliens escalated Saturday morning when a lingerie-clad New Mexico woman allegedly pointed a silver handgun at her boyfriend, a weapon she retrieved from her vagina, where it had been placed while the accused was performing a sex act, police allege.

To make matters more strange, the arrested woman is the most recent ex-wife of Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist Cormac McCarthy, author of “The Road” and “No Country for Old Men.”

Wow …

Our favorite part of this story? When the responding deputy reports that the woman – 48-year-old Jennifer McCarthy – engaged in “inner course” with the Smith and Wesson handgun while telling her boyfriend “Who is crazy? You or me!”

Ha!

Courtesy of the Santa Fe Sheriff’s Office, here’s McCarthy …

image

Nice …

Our founding editor (who believes in aliens) and his lovely wife Mrs. Sic Willie (who does not believe in aliens) have had one or two pointed conversations on this subject, but sadly no one’s firearm achieved penetration during that process.

Guess they’re not living …

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12 comments

TontoBubbaGoldstein January 8, 2014 at 8:31 pm

*Claws at eyes*

IT BURNS! IT BURNS!

Please post some pics of a young starlet or even that sketchy young thing (Courtney Stoddard?) that’s married to the old dude…to *cleanse the palate*.

Reply
*Ducking* January 8, 2014 at 9:16 pm

Hey, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.

:)

Reply
shifty henry January 8, 2014 at 11:30 pm

Are you referring to “inner course”..? After pulling that gun out of her vagina, the cop must have taken a very close look — he probably meant to write “inner tube”..!!

Reply
shifty henry January 8, 2014 at 11:28 pm

She would need that gun to get me to screw her —- but on second thought, Shifty would take the bullet for all red-blooded Southern men!

Reply
Eric January 8, 2014 at 9:42 pm

I always thought that the news broadcasters were talking about “the shooter,” Now I see they were talking about “the cooter”! That makes more sense now, and explains the fish smell too.

Reply
CorruptionInColumbia January 8, 2014 at 10:03 pm

Here’s to the crack that never heals,
the more you rub it the better it feels.

But there ain’t no soap this side of hell,
can wash away that fishy smell.

Reply
EJB January 9, 2014 at 6:58 am

Here’s to woman, the glorious vine
Blooms each month, bears fruit in nine
The only creature this side of hell
To get juice from a nut without cracking the shell

Reply
Halfvast Conspirator January 9, 2014 at 10:02 am

I don’t think that gun was smoking at the time, probably waited to have one when it was done shooting

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trenchards January 9, 2014 at 10:35 am

That’s No Country for Old Men

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jimlewisowb January 9, 2014 at 10:56 am

“Our founding editor…..and his lovely wife…..have had….conversations…..but…no one’s firearm achieved penetration”

What a shame. If such had taken place, then willie could have proclaimed with some degree of authenticity that he fired this story right out of his ass

Reply
euwe max January 10, 2014 at 4:24 pm

If she looked like Kim Kardashian, this would make her a millionaire.

Reply
TontoBubbaGoldstein January 11, 2014 at 11:05 am

That story, combined with the mugshot is causing TBG to have second thoughts about his support of the Second Amendment.

Reply

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