Noooooo! The “Panda Cam” Is Shut Down!

We knew the tearjerker stories would flow like oil during the federal government’s partial shutdown, but the liberal mainstream media wasted little time in rolling out the big guns. Errrr … did we say big guns? We meant “cuddly pandas.” Thanks to those evil anti-Obamacare Tea Partiers (who are ostensibly…

We knew the tearjerker stories would flow like oil during the federal government’s partial shutdown, but the liberal mainstream media wasted little time in rolling out the big guns.

Errrr … did we say big guns? We meant “cuddly pandas.”

Thanks to those evil anti-Obamacare Tea Partiers (who are ostensibly to blame for this partial shutdown), the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. was forced to turn off its live “Panda-cam.”  That means we have no way of keeping track of the exploits of ‘Tian Tian,” “Mei Xiang” and their baby Giant Panda cub.

Everybody altogether now … “awwwwwwwwwww.”

First of all … in what universe is running a zoo a core function of government? Seriously: To all the people outraged because they can no longer watch these Giana Pandas nuzzle up against each other 24/7 we would humbly suggest paying for the damn Panda-cam themselves (or find some sucker corporate sponsor to cough up the coin).

But that’s just the thing: They are. The National Zoo gets between $5-8 million a year in charitable donations – in addition to the estimated $20 million it receives annually from taxpayers. Oh, and the last time we checked the Panda-cam was sponsored by the Ford Motor Company – which last time we checked did not shut down overnight.

Government has no business running a zoo – that is (or should be) the exclusive purview of the private sector.

We shouldn’t be sad that a government-run Panda-cam got turned off (or that a government-run zoo has been closed to the public) – because government should have never been doing these things in the first place.

In fact if there was any justice in this world we’d be witnessing a Jumanji-style stampede of the White House and the U.S. Capitol right now as every animal in the National Zoo descended on the monkeys currently running the federal government.

Barring that, lawmakers should immediately move to privatize this facility – and all other non-essential government agencies, programs and facilities.

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Poster October 1, 2013 at 9:35 am

These are all fair questions. Should the Gov. run a Zoo? The Smithsonian institute? Lincoln Memorial? So why not just have votes on these issues? pass a bill that closes the Zoo down in a reasonable way. But since the minority in Congress cant pass these Bills and the elected by majority President would veto the bill, the few just say “Shut it all down”.
Amazing how these people use to say that Dems were nannies and knew better than the rest.This is exactly what the Tea Party is doing. “Since you dont understand what is best for the Country, we are going to shut it all down till you do what we think is best for you”

Win elections in the Senate and the Presidency, then, by the powers of the Constitution, the Gov. will change.

Frank Pytel October 1, 2013 at 9:51 am

Fracking Liberal Tard. Can’t even get through the first paragraph without blaming the other guy. How about it’s GUBMINTS fault. Not one side or the other. They’re all to blame. Idiot.

poster October 1, 2013 at 10:45 am

not that liberal. I think Obama care is the dumbest idea and Obama could not lead us out of a paper bag. Yes, they are all to blame but not for the shutdown. They are all to blame for not governing in the first place but that does not mean some worker for the Zoo should be without pay or knowing what is coming next because the Tea Party hates a certain bill.

what if Obama said, not keeping the Gov. open until weapons ban enacted. I would then blame Obama. one has nothing to do with the other.

or you are right, all people who do not share your opinions are idiots.

Frank Pytel October 1, 2013 at 11:04 am

Last paragraph, yes. Especially today. Personal not shutdown and fuck you i dont care. Bad day. Check with me tomm.

Second paragraph. Very reasonable. Its politics.

First paragraph, ok. Young, not liberal.


Cellphones and blog stuff sucks.

TontoBubbaGoldstein October 1, 2013 at 12:11 pm

Cellphones and blog stuff sucks.

Frank shakes cane and yells, “Get off my lawn!”

Frank Pytel October 1, 2013 at 1:38 pm

Eat a turd tbg. They’re Tastsa

TontoBubbaGoldstein October 1, 2013 at 2:21 pm


Frank, you are really taking this panda thing too hard.


Have a cold one… on TBG.

Ummmm…on second thought, put it on the Underhill’s tab.

Frank Pytel October 1, 2013 at 6:01 pm

You right. You right

Frank Pytel October 1, 2013 at 1:40 pm


shutitdown October 1, 2013 at 1:58 pm

Tax dollars should not be used to pay a worker at a zoo.

Smirks October 1, 2013 at 10:18 am

Win elections in the Senate and the Presidency

Or, don’t be a total asswipe and actually present respectable bills and be ready to work together to find some kind of compromise. You know, instead of demanding the same legislation 41 times and then navigating us into a government shutdown because Democrats didn’t change their minds on attempt #42.

shutitdown October 1, 2013 at 10:32 am

Museums and memorials should be funded by private donations. Government has no business wasting tax dollars restoring old airplanes. It’s easy to spend another guy’s hard earned nickel. Bunch of crooks.

poster October 1, 2013 at 11:02 am

And if not they should be sold off and recycled if the owner wants! Take the first capsule that landed on the moon and make it a flowerpot! First plane to cross the Atlantic….. melt it down!

I mean how many people really want to see a country’s historical artifacts. Do they really think millions of people will come to this country and spend money in this country to see these things! I mean screw the hotel owners and restauranteurs and people who make the trinkets they sell in the museum. Those museums don’t generate any money for private sector!!!! well maybe only a billion a year but still!!!

shifty henry October 1, 2013 at 11:48 am

I take it that you are being sarcastic?

shutitdown October 1, 2013 at 1:56 pm

So, in your deluded mind, the government should spend tax dollars on tourist attractions to encourage private businesses? I suppose you think that is a sustainable economic plan. You, sir, or, ma’am, are an idiot.

poster October 1, 2013 at 5:02 pm

When the attractions are our national icons, yes. what else should we do with them, stick them in a warehouse

Are you suggesting we raze the museums sell the land and build condos??? you are not an idiot, just a fool. Sell our icons to the highest bidder?? really….

cuvinny October 1, 2013 at 5:36 pm

Just think how much selling the Constitution could bring! Why should it just be sitting in the library of congress? Why is the govt running a library anyways!

shutitdown October 2, 2013 at 10:01 am

You are taking my comments ad absurdum. Of course we should maintain our national “icons”. But the function of a bloated government has oozed out to include spending tax dollars on anything under the sun at the helpless taxpayers’ expense. The original memorials in DC are indeed part of our identity as a nation, but endlessly building memorials, museums, expositions, etc., to honor this and that constituency is criminal. Especially when we owe 17 trillion bucks. The federal government could get along just fine with half the staff of bureaucrats and parasites we, as taxpayers, are paying. Don’t tell me about all the folks who would lose their jobs; they shouldn’t have been hired in the first place. Of course, this will never happen because of all the crooked career politicians protecting their phony-bologny jobs and the jobs of their sycophant legions…….BTW, don’t put an “s” at the end of the word “anyway”.

TontoBubbaGoldstein October 3, 2013 at 12:24 am

Hell, we’re not using it anyway…

Frank Pytel October 1, 2013 at 11:05 am

Especially if that nickel gets you a ‘shiny thing’

jimlewisowb October 1, 2013 at 9:51 am

Billboards will be erected soon,

Alex Thornton Write in Candidate for Governor

The Colonel October 1, 2013 at 10:21 am

Exactly what cost is involved in a web cam once the cam is purchased and installed on the net? You know the network is still up because the SES level folks still have to go to work.

This is nothing more than Big Guvament creating a “crisis” and big media slurping at the trough.

Smirks October 1, 2013 at 1:59 pm

You’re right, the webcam, web server, internet connection, etc., all can operate regardless of a shutdown. Doesn’t make much sense.

TontoBubbaGoldstein October 1, 2013 at 2:27 pm

…with the only cost being a pittance …[oh wait , this is FITSNEWS]….a niggardly amount of electricity. TBG will offer even odds that the FEDGOV paid a private contractor hundreds…if not thousands of $$ to shut down the web feed. TBG also suspects all devices spying on American citizens are fully operational.

Nölff October 1, 2013 at 11:17 am

I think we should lock these guys in a room full of sharp objects and give them a steady supply of whiskey and crack cocaine until they work things out.

Slartibartfast October 1, 2013 at 1:26 pm

Don’t forget the President! He’s part of this Showtime re-run.

Slartibartfast October 1, 2013 at 1:12 pm

I prefer the dogshaming.com site.

Frank Pytel October 1, 2013 at 1:45 pm


This just in . . . October 1, 2013 at 2:27 pm

Millions Flee Obamacare

UNITED STATES (The Borowitz Report) — Millions of Tea Party loyalists fled the United States in the early morning hours today, seeking what one of them called “the American dream of liberty from health care.”

Harland Dorrinson, 47, a tire salesman from Lexington, Kentucky, packed up his family and whatever belongings he could fit into his Chevy Suburban just hours before the health-insurance exchanges opened, joining the Tea Party’s Freedom Caravan with one goal in mind: escape from Obamacare.

“My father didn’t have health care and neither did my father’s father before him,” he said. “I’ll be damned if I’m going to let my children have it.”

But after driving over ten hours to the Canadian border, Mr. Dorrinson was dismayed to learn that America’s northern neighbor had been in the iron grip of health care for decades.

“The border guard was so calm when he told me, as if it was the most normal thing in the world,” he said. “It’s like he was brainwashed by health care.”

Turning away from Canada, Mr. Dorrinson joined a procession of Tea Party cars heading south to Mexico, noting, “They may have drug cartels and narcoterrorism down there, but at least they’ve kept health care out.”

Mr. Dorrinson was halfway to the southern border before he heard through the Tea Party grapevine that Mexico, too, has public health care, as do Great Britain, Japan, Turkey, Spain, Belgium, New Zealand, Slovenia, and dozens of other countries to which he had considered fleeing.

Undaunted, Mr. Dorrinson said he had begun looking into additional countries, like Chad and North Korea, but he expressed astonishment at a world seemingly overrun by health care.

“It turns out that the United States is one of the last countries on earth to get it,” he said. “It makes me proud to be an American.”

HEH October 3, 2013 at 9:50 am

when it suddenly becomes my resonpsiblity to pay for your health care as weell as your families, then yes I don’t really want to have it… the younger middle class citizens are the ones that will be paying waaaay more than they need, and those people who buy better insurance than the gov’t gives will be further penilized for taking care of themselves… that seems fair punish those that are doing the right thing and taking care of themselves and reward the people who can’t…. maybe we should all take a lesson from the gov’t and start buying and paying for things we know we can’t afford because we also know some sucker who did budget properly and made sure to do well for himself will pay FOR us.

Clyde October 4, 2013 at 5:56 pm

So we should get rid of social security and stop paying police with tax dollars? Why should I have to pay part of the bill because you got robbed and called the police. Maybe you should pay the police for responding because you choose to call about the neighbor who beats his wife. Not my problem. Shouldn’t come out of my pocket.

AsIAmNatural October 1, 2013 at 8:15 pm

This is “BULL” what did the pandas do to the government!! WoW. I miss them already ….my black and white cuties!!


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