Stevens Dies In Plane Crash

Former Alaska Senator Ted Stevens – one of the biggest pork barrel spenders in the history of the federal government – was killed in a plane crash Monday night in a remote region of Alaska.  Five of the nine people aboard the plane – a single-engine DeHavilland DHC-3T – were killed, although authorities have not [...]

Stunning Porker Reversal!

We’re hoping this is an April Fool’s joke, but the U.S. Justice Department is asking a judge to void the conviction of former U.S. Senator Ted Stevens, who was found guilty of seven counts of corruption last October – like, a week before his election.
Additionally, Attorney General Eric Holder is dropping all current charges against [...]

Specter Does Right

Arlen Specter and his jangly jowls are definitely the bane of our conservative existence.
He’s a fish face. Not to mention a friggin’ socialist who has eschewed free market principles and America’s founding wisdom to sell out to the nearest big government special interest.
Along with former President Bush, indicted Alaska porker Ted Stevens and those two [...]

Bad Day For Pork

Two of Washington’s most influential pork barrel spenders were forced to stand down from their porcine perches today – defeated Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens and West Virginia Sen. Robert Byrd.
Stevens – the GOP’s undisputed Godfather of Pork – left the Senate today for the last time, having been convicted of federal corruption charges and subsequently [...]

National Update: Lindsey, Lieberman, Etc.

How to talk in meaningless platitudes without even approaching the vicinity of substance is clearly a prerequisite for power in American politics these days … hell, it’s fast becoming a one-way ticket to the White House.
If fact, if President George W. Bush has proved anything, it’s that you can get elected (and reelected) even if [...]

Ted Stevens Is Going Down

With the exception of President George W. Bush, there’s probably no politician who deserves more blame for the disaster that’s befallen the Republican Party than Ted Stevens.
The Alaska Senator – who was convicted on seven counts of federal corruption charges just last month – is Washington’s preeminent “Godfather of Pork,” a surly and snide son [...]

Ted Stevens And The GOP’s “Terminal Velocity”

Shortly after Republicans got their asses handed to them in the 2006 Congressional elections, a bitter Sen. Ted Stevens – Washington’s “Godfather of Pork” – confronted conservative Oklahoma Sen. Tom Coburn – Washington’s preeminent “pork buster.”
“Well, Tom, I hope you’re satisfied for helping us lose the election,” Stevens snapped at Coburn, who had held up [...]

Porker Convicted

In a fitting tribute to the ass-raping he’s inflicted on the American taxpayers over the last forty years, Alaska Senator Ted Stevens was convicted today on all seven counts of a federal corruption indictment.
Stevens, who faces Alaska voters in just eight days time, could conceivably be removed from office by a two-thirds vote of his [...]

Light-Skinned Black People Gotta Stick Together

We’re not going to begrudge Colin Powell for his endorsement of Barack Obama. After all, it’s a (light-skinned) black thing – and as we’ve been told by many black people many times in the past, we “wouldn’t understand.”
All kidding aside, though, we’ve expressed our electoral indifference to “McBama” (a.k.a. Republicrat John McCain and “Spread the [...]

The Other Republican Trial

Just as the Republican Party is on trial with the voters for blowing money that could have gone into our economy on a bunch of wasteful, deficit spending over the past eight years, the chief architect of all that fiscal recklessness (pictured, with Stupid) is on trial for his political life, too.
U.S. Sen. Ted Stevens [...]

Stevens Might Get Off

In news that could wreak more financial havoc in Washington that the infamous $700 billion federal bailout, Alaska Senator and legendary pork barreler Ted Stevens appears to be on the verge of getting a mistrial in his corruption case.
Yeah, color us shocked.
Stevens, who was indicted in July on seven counts of fraud for failing to [...]

Alaskans Are Retarded

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER STATE TO OFFEND
We’re sure this post will bring the same politically-correct reaction from certain presidential campaigns as our famous “Michigan is Retarded” headline, but let’s be honest – we’ve got a point on this one. Other than picking a smokin’ hot governor, there clearly aren’t a lot of marbles rolling around in [...]